Susan's Place Transgender Resources

hey guys i wanna tell u something.....ive been thinking about change my name on facebook but im not sure about how react they are...because some of them are christians in my friends list. also what if they would judge me for who i am....thats what i worry about. i know i should be proud of who i am but its big step.....so i need ur advice. thanks

Would you come out to these people first?

Some folks have two FB pages.

I can't see a reason why they would get in an uproar about you changing your name.  Lots of people change their name because they feel like it.  Are you changing it to something that can in-no-possible-way also be used for a female?  Today, I am more and more seeing names become gender neutral, and in some places (like the south, I've heard) they like to give girls male names, and think it's cute, or something.  Anyway, just by changing your name alone, even to a strictly male name, I can't see why anyone would care.  If I knew a girl who changed their name to a strictly male name, the first thing that comes to my mind would NOT be "oh, they must be transgender."

Now if you also change your gender on there, that could raise some flags, but if I wanted to do that and still not come out, I would be like, "oops, my mistake.  I'll change it sometime."  and then not change it. lol.

If your name is Cynthia or Samantha and you're changing it to Robert or Frederick or Patrick, I can see that people might think something is up...

Quote from: Arch on April 05, 2011, 01:45:26 AMIf your name is Cynthia or Samantha and you're changing it to Robert or Frederick or Patrick, I can see that people might think something is up...

I don't think so.  "Pat" and "Freddy"  can be girl names.  And in the south, I've heard girls with the name, "Robby."
I had a VERY feminine name but then I changed it to a gender neutral one.  And all I did was tell people how much I hated that name because I don't feel very girly.  Most people don't think there's anything wrong with a girl being tomboy-ish. 

Guys names are becoming more popular amongst girls. I've heard of girls these days being named Michael, Ryan, Jack (sometimes short for Jackie) and so on. The name I'm choosing - Jacob, isn't one girls really use, ever so it's hard to not think it has something to do with gender. But names like those can be names you can get away with for people you are just not ready to be out with.

Perhaps  join Support LGBT Rights groups on facebook and share them with your entire friends list. You can see that way the reaction you will get from those you may think will not understand. J

Post a note about it first and share it with your facebook friends saying you are thinking if changing your name and see their reactions before you actually show them the names. It may surprise them if it's commonly a male name, or they may just brush it off as an unusual choice. They may ask why, but it's up to you to come up with a reason. You can give the truth, or use parts of the truth such as if you dislike your name and using that as a reason. Anyone who'd butt into my business and ask why I was changing my name, I'd tell them I hated my birth name ever since I was little, I preferred this name, the end.

;D

There are a lot of grade school girls named Kennedy. I thought it a bit odd actually.

Quote from: ajayjo on April 05, 2011, 01:08:58 AM
ive been thinking about change my name on facebook but im not sure about how react they are...because some of them are christians in my friends list. also what if they would judge me for who i am....thats what i worry about.

People can surprise you. When I came out as trans to my (at the time) best friend, who was really open-minded and cool with everything else, she said she couldn't be friends with me anymore, and she hasn't talked to me since. When I came out to my ultra-conservative christian friend, who I expected to be freaked out and/or angry, he was fine with it. So don't assume everyone's going to judge you, because they might not. Just be yourself, and if someone doesn't like you just because you're trans, well that's their problem not yours. The way I see it, if they don't want to be friends with you just cuz you're trans, then they weren't worth having as a friend anyway. *shrug* just my point of view :)

I really want to change my name on Facebook and put it out there that way.  I mean, I don't really have to come out right away since Devin can be a girl's name, too (although it is more common as a boys name), but I know it will raise some questions, especially since my sisters (no one else, surprisingly) are reeling about the fact that I changed my gender to male.  Every time I comment on something they tell me "Did you know Facebook is saying *girl name* commented on HIS status"?  I just haven't responded yet but they're starting to get upset that I still haven't changed it even though they pointed it out to me weeks ago.

I was thinking of using Friday as an excuse.  My Oriental Trading calendar says it's "International Name Yourself Day", so I've been waiting for it for weeks.  I was thinking of just saying "Happy International Name Yourself Day!" and changing it.  And then maybe comment on that status with a little bit about how annoying I find my birth name and how I wish my mother had named me Devin from the beginning.  I'll see what sort of response I get and if it's good then I might just keep it.

I changed my name from an obvious girl's name to an obvious guy's name and only a couple of people asked about it. A few other people I came out to later told me they suspected something because of the facebook name change, but there was no uproar when I changed my name, just a few people messaging me to ask me why.

I keep two FB accounts because of family, but when I told my friends and then added them on the other account, I had no issues. One of them is very Christian. She had no problems.

Quote from: Jeh on April 05, 2011, 02:39:49 PM
I changed my name from an obvious girl's name to an obvious guy's name and only a couple of people asked about it. A few other people I came out to later told me they suspected something because of the facebook name change, but there was no uproar when I changed my name, just a few people messaging me to ask me why.

thats what it was like for me, a few messages, but nothing big

I had like.. 3 people ask about it, but not really serious questioning.. I wasn't ready to come out to them at the time, and it wasn't awkward.. lots of my friends change their names/genders on facebook just for fun. A few other people suspected - but that was combined with pictures and status's etc. Good portion of my friends list is 'christians'.. they didn't catch on any better thenanyone else.

If anyone gives you any crap about it mate, just say you were fraped :p

I despise facebook tbh, the pics of me and everything on there, I just can't identify with them anymore.

When I changed my name in facebook my brother, several relatives and a few friends defriended me and haven't talked to me since.  Still most people don't have my awful family so most likely you are in luck. 

Even if you do lose people it's worth changing.  Facebook is meant to represent you

Ok thanks guys. I already had changed my male name on fb. some people asked me why i do it. i had to explained to them so they understood. My friends are very supportive to me. Also i was so shocked that my mom began to call me by my male name for first time!! Amazing!! Thank God that she loves me for who i am. I dont care what people think of me.

-Alex aka Aj

Congrats AJ.
I wasn't sure what to do in this department either. Ithink I'm going to make a whole new facebook though. I hate the idea of my girl mode pictures being on there. I can't stand to look at them anymore.