Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Hi,

Currently 9 weeks post op so i appreciate a lot of dilation to go however, down to 2x a day at present and the smallest needs a bit of easing in as i imagine its opening things up between sessions.

Would this become easier over time? Reason i'm wondering is that if i were to be having intercourse would i have to dilate first or would arousal sort out entry?  I cant image a guy easing himself in, not very spontaneous but if i have to dilate first then thats even worse!  I expect lube to be required but this thought about initial entry or expansion is making me wonder, i imagine this improves with time as i dont recall reading too much about this before but thought i best ask.

Ta

Nat

Just keep on dilating.  it WILL get easier.  i dont dilate prior to and i didnt when i was 6 weeks post which is when i had my first sexual encounter.  depending on your body  but i dont NEED lube actually prior to sexual intercourse IF and only IF the man is gifted orally and there is a lot of foreplay but to just walk up to you and start penetrating, that probably wont get you naturally lubed.  i DO sometimes just shoot the lube into my vagina with an applicator and they just think you will be super wet.  but i DO actually squirt during good sex and again it depend on you and your body and the person you are with.  but keep dilating and you wont have a problem  trust me u wont.  i have only dilated ONCE since october and i havent loss any depth nor width, but i have sex regularly˙  i am 10 mths post now.

I'll add that a man is a bit more flexible and conforming than a hard plastic dilator (well, at least for the purposes of this conversation, perhaps not when it comes to things like ego and relationships!).  So that should help.

Also, there should be plenty of ways to explain things to a man - "I'm fairly tight and don't want to get hurt, so go easy" should do it...if they can't listen at least a little bit to your desires, they probably aren't very decent of a guy.  I'd also say that, as a guy, if a woman tells me what makes her feel good, and things I can do to accommodate her, I appreciate it.  We don't naturally know what feels good to any given woman, and we're a bit dense, so sometimes a little help is nice.  :)

You might also do things the first time on top, so you have more control over things until you know how things are working for you.  You can make it a game - get the guy all worked up and then tell him, "Okay, I'll keep making you feel nice, unless you move - you've got to be still! The minute you move, we're done. We'll see if you can handle me!"  :)

It's the same for me. It takes a good while to get the small dilator in and I'm almost 6 months post-op.

I tried sex recently, I used lube and dilated first and even then it took over two hours of trying for him to get inside me (and he only managed to get maybe 3 inches in).

I think dilation is getting easier very slowly but I can't ever envisage a time where a man will be able to enter me easily and naturally.

2 hours?!

Blimey, what did he use? Splints heh heh

Now THATS patience!

6 months gone and still like that tho, I hope that isnt the norm.  Not that i wanna turn into some kinda sexual predator but you know, would be nice to not have to think SO far in advance that i have to dilate first.

Nat

Lol, well it was two hours of, erm... fun  ;)

I'm sure it gets easier. I would imagine it helps a lot of you have a regular partner. Although where you find one of those is anybody's guess!