Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Tonight I was standing a block away from the center, talking to a couple of guys from my men's group, when two tall, scary-looking dudes sauntered past. Everything about them screamed "predators!" to me: clothes, body language, walk, facial expressions. I think they were looking for an easy mark. They walked up the street I was planning to take on my way home.

A minute later, my friends and I went our separate ways, and I started walking home. Slowly. I didn't want to pass the scary-looking guys. I thought about taking off my rainbow bracelet, just in case. Then I decided to keep it on, f*** them. And maybe I was being an alarmist?

I crossed to the other side of the street and continued on to the street where I would normally take a right turn into a neighborhood that isn't well lit for a block or two. I was nearly there when I realized that the would-be predators were crossing to my side of the street. As they came up the crosswalk, they started to fan out, as if to trap me. There was no way I was going into the dark neighborhood when I didn't know what those guys were going to do, so I decided to go straight. I knew that if I stopped for the crossing signal, the guys would catch up to me. So I sped up a little, adopted a bit more swagger, and crossed the street against the signal, something I rarely do.

They were behind me for a few blocks, but I was passing businesses now. A market, a hookah parlor, stuff like that. I finally turned onto a major street where there were quite a few open businesses. As I turned the corner, I snuck a look back and didn't see the guys. So I took the long way home and made it safely. I don't often get the alarm bells in my head, but I did tonight. I think those guys were looking for trouble, and I think I barely escaped it.

Two things: there was a woman walking alone a bit ahead of me. As she turned into the market parking lot, I wanted to warn her not to walk around at night by herself. Then I thought how silly it would sound...a strange guy walking up to a woman at night and telling her she should be careful? Riiight. She's a woman. She already knows.

And for a minute or two as I walked behind the scary guys, I was only worried that they would know I was gay and beat me up for it. For that brief period, I completely forgot I was trans.

Scary stuff Arch.

I think you did the total right thing. Trying to find out if they wanted to bash you is never a good option :laugh:. Hi Mr Thug you wanna bash me?

Glad you are safe
Cindy

I'm glad you're alright. You were absolutely right in trusting your instincts and you kept a your wits about you through the whole thing. It's always better to err on the side of caution. It sounds like your bracelet wouldn't have made a difference anyway, if they were looking for trouble they would have made it regardless.

Could be that they just like to swagger around and intimidate people. I've seen guys who really get off on that. But I think the scariest thing was the one guy's face. I saw it as he passed me and my friends. Not a bad-looking guy, but he had a flat, dead expression. No affect. No nothing. Brrr.

When I was in college myself and two friends went downtown during the day and were walking around a mostly industrial area that wasn't the best part of town. We were walking along an open area with no one in sight and all three of us stopped at the same time turned to each other and said that we needed to get out of here. The hair was standing up on the back of my neck and we all took off running. After a few blocks we slowed to a walking pace. All three of us had the same overwhelming feeling of being in danger. I will never know what would have happened if we had stayed. Ever since then I trust those feelings that tell me something is not right.

You will never know what could have happened but if I was in the same place you had been I would have done the same thing. You should be proud of yourself for taking care of yourself like that.

Those kinda moments are scary. One time I was walking home and somehow attracted a group of guys who started following me. It was so obvious they were after me that someone actually pulled up and asked me if I needed a ride. I declined and made my way into a near by store. I was able to watch where the group went from there and sneak down a side street.

After awhile you kinda get use to looking at everyone as a possible threat and dealing with those close calls. Sucks that we live in a world where we have to do that.

I'm glad you are safe Arch and it sounds like you did the right thing. There is a creepy guy in my neighborhood who wanders around at night with the dead expression looking terrifying and it's hard to find the balance it seems, of pretending like he doesn't scare me and yet keeping a safe distance. It was probably nice to forget you were trans but I hope one day you can forget in another way and those guys don't come across you again.

I see your in southern Calif. They have all types there unlike here in the country in central pa where we have amish and mennonites and a few others who are hard working farmers. But we do have a few country boys who like to get drunk but it seems they fight their GF's and i read about them getting arrested and thrown in the county prison. I use to have a RV and traveled the USA and i picked up practically every hitchhiker. I did pick up some who wanted to rape and rob me but after i told them about god and the spirits above they started saying they were sorry and wanted to get dropped off at a salvation army in the next town. I had 3 mexicans who wanted to also rob me but i picked up 2 more and they all fought with each other saying who and when they would get to rob me. I then dropped them all off at a rest stop and they were shocked and got out as there were lots of people there.
I found out that if your scared it shows to people but as i was in my RV wishing to die i had no fear and really didn't have to worry. However, there are just some neighborhoods where if your not suicidal / seeking to die you can be killed pretty quick.

I found Miami Fl to be a real bad town if your not spanish. Its like in some areas or at certain times they rule and can even scare the cops. I had some at a beach offer me some pot which turned out to be some kind of drug that i could barely drive or think and the beach was closing and they waited for the parking lot to empty and i forced myself to drive. They followed me onto the freeway thinking i couldn't drive and i barely could but i did finally get away after a hour. They drove next to me and yelled etc etc but i kept going.

I once went down an alley in tijuina mexico looking for pot  (back in 1968) and a old mexican opened a door and offered me herion while two of his buddies came out with large knives which i pretended i didn't see and they eventually hid them after i offered more. I told him i gave my last 5.00 to some kid for pot and i said i had a friend out on the street who had 1,000.00 and we wanted pot. I said i wanted a sample and so he decided not to kill me and rob me thinking i would be dumb enough to bring back my friend with the 1,000.00 so he even gave me some pot. I never did go back.

Its good to always act dumb and say something about your friend (even if you don't have one) who has 1,000.00 which gets these crooks too stop attacking or thinking about it in hopes you will lead them to your freind. then when you get in a safe place you can tell them where to go..

Anyway i have been thru a lot in my life and found these things to be true and found that God wants me alive for some reason so i have always gotten out safe.

Yes be safe and watch the time and neighborhood and even a large parking lot etc etc because it happens in so many ways. i now even watch who is behind me when i drive home just to be sure. Its good to be safe especially if your a good person because we need more good people alive in this world.

I was involved in a minor gay-bashing incident a little while back. Nobody was really hurt, and I wasn't hit at all, but it took me a couple of weeks to stop getting nervous when I saw the same kind of car that the attackers were in. I've always been fairly observant around the LGBT center, just in case, but after that attack, I've been even more vigilant.

Maybe I should try a different route home when I'm on foot. I can take all major streets up to two blocks from home. But I like the route I've been taking.

One thing I've noticed: before transition, I was much more likely to shrug stuff off and feel that I was overreacting. I think it was a combination of lots of things: my gendered upbringing (although I resisted a lot of it), my living as a woman, and the fact that I wasn't fully in tune with my body and my instincts, so I didn't really trust myself. Also, I was afraid to look silly if I was wrong.

A lot has changed in the past couple of years.

Glad you're safe Arch.
.
You could always get some pepper spray if it continues to
seem dangerous.  (that's what I carry when I have to walk
alone in dark sparcely populated areas at night.  Better
safe than sorry.  :)  )

That is really frightening. I'm glad you got through it alright.

Hi Arch

You're allright, you did the right thing, avoiding trouble with these guys.
There are always such people, everywhere in the world.
On their own, just being alone they are not that brave but, while in a group they can hurt people very badly.

I think you've had a narrow escape but you've made it.
And it doesn't look silly to avoid problems, just wise to stay healthy.

hug
Annette

Sadly we live in a world where drug addicted losers will steal handbags from 80+ yr old pensioners and push them to the ground, and worse. You can never be too cautious in my opinion. I also know that some guys, even if they are not into gangs, get kudos by bashing someone just for the hell of it.

Increasingly in Australia and the UK drunken violence has gone epidemic. I'm not sure if heavy drinking is such a past time in the USA but we have 24 hr pubs and 18yr olds are allowed to drink (legally), nothing quite like T, booze  and being young to prime a bashing. Increasingly the person bashed is just a random victim.

Cindy

Quote from: CindyJames on April 14, 2011, 04:06:00 AM
Increasingly in Australia and the UK drunken violence has gone epidemic. I'm not sure if heavy drinking is such a past time in the USA but we have 24 hr pubs and 18yr olds are allowed to drink (legally), nothing quite like T, booze  and being young to prime a bashing. Increasingly the person bashed is just a random victim.

Must have something to do with the Americanization of the world, because this sounds a lot like small-town America or certain parts of the South.

Yeah. Heavy drinking is a pretty popular pastime here in the U.S. Thankfully Tulsa doesn't have a lot of pedestrians in most areas. On the occasion that I am out walking at night, I can totally relate to why so many women are nervous. Certain parts of town have a lot of thugs & gang bangers. I'd say consider getting something like pepper spray like another person here mentioned, or go my route & get a conceal & carry permit if you're comfortable with guns. In my case, it's something I've had since well before I started my transition, but I'm less likely to just forget it at home or in my car these days.

glad your safe!