Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I've known this man for more than thirty years.  We have shared many events, sad and happy.

I had to do it in an email because I couldn't face him to tell him.

His response was one of "Hey it's your life, you have to do what makes you happy."

I don't know if I'll ever see him again.

Or how he will take it when he sees me as who I am.

I know others of you have lost so much more when you came out.  I cannot pretend to know your pain.  Like you, I cannot stay closeted any longer, but it seems so hard to be true to yourself.

But I can do nothing else.

-Sandy

Quote from: Kassandra on January 24, 2007, 08:38:57 PM
His response was one of "Hey it's your life, you have to do what makes you happy."

I don't know if I'll ever see him again.

Thirty years! Wow... that's quite a bit of history! Do you think he ever suspected in all that time?

Was there any indication that he'll respond poorly? "Hey it's your life, you have to do what makes you happy" doesn't necessarily sound like such a bad thing. A few of my coworkers said as much to me, meaning it in the nicest of ways.

Give him time. If it WAS a shock, it make take some time to digest, especially after knowing him for SO long.

Kate

Quote from: Kassandra on January 24, 2007, 08:38:57 PM
I've known this man for more than thirty years.  We have shared many events, sad and happy.

I had to do it in an email because I couldn't face him to tell him.

His response was one of "Hey it's your life, you have to do what makes you happy."

I don't know if I'll ever see him again.

Or how he will take it when he sees me as who I am.

I know others of you have lost so much more when you came out.  I cannot pretend to know your pain.  Like you, I cannot stay closeted any longer, but it seems so hard to be true to yourself.

But I can do nothing else.

-Sandy

I don't think that you have to worry Kassandra if his response is anything to go by.  Our long time friends and companions tend to understand and stick around, after all you did say that you have shared much in the past.  Personally I would stay in touch by email and suggest a meeting so that he may meet the real you.  Of course you have to be prepared for the worst, but you are going to have to face it sooner or later hon.

Yes it's hard to be true to yourself but if you can't what's the point of it all.  You can't pretend that you don't exist, cause you do.   Given your past history it's a good bet that your friend will be OK with meeting you, he may be a little uncomfortable, but then many are.

I remember coming out to my life long army friend.  We used to be a thick as thieves, drinking and carrying on like there was no tomorrow. I was even the best man at his wedding.  Last year he met Steph for the first time, and although he was a little nervous and awkward at first,  he soon got over it.  Our relationship did change and I don't think that we can ever be as close as we were cause there are things that guys and girls do differently.

So yes expect the relationship to change somewhat, but give yourselves credit and trust your instincts.  Keep us posted hon, and take care.

Steph

Kassandra, I had two very good male friends, I lost one and the other still speaks with me but not like were best friends anymore.

To this day it still bothers me because I really had fun with both of them but what can you do besides  just be as nice as you can about it and hope for the best.

No matter what things will be different for you just switched sides!!! :-* It is a big thing for a man to deal with! For sure

Sincerely
Kristina