Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I will never understand.

http://ben-girl-notesfromthetside.blogspot.com/2011/04/i-will-never-understand.html (http://ben-girl-notesfromthetside.blogspot.com/2011/04/i-will-never-understand.html)
4/13/11
By Elizabeth

I will never understand late transitioners.

I will never understand how someone that is a Type V transsexual or a woman trapped in a man's body can marry and father children if they are a woman?

I will never understand why some late transitioning man can suddenly believe he understands all things female just because he is transitioning.

I will never understand why late transitioners actually believe they are role models and want to be out in front representing transsexuals. In my opinion you are the entire perception problem transsexuals have.  Kim Petras can be a role model. Ashley Prince can be a positive role model. Late transitioners cannot be role models.

Send her my way. Sounds like the brat needs a spanking

Ah, ageism dressed up as trans politics (but not passing). Pfui.

 ::) Admittedly part of me is alittle confused, When I look back at my own past and I think that hell only went on for 11 years.

And I struggle to think how could that have gone on for 22, 33 or 44 years? Wouldn't anyone be dead? But then it's only a matter of thinking carefully. I barely made 6 my self harm and depression was that extreme.
But I didn't die, I lasted that long because there was no way out I couldn't kill myself and I took it because there wasn't any other option, and it's the same for the later transition. And as much as I bitch about my situation sucking it must be so much worse for those who didn't escape when I did.

Sounds like another example of , "If you want to know anything, ask  a teenager. They know everything."   I don't think the people I went through High School would have been at all accepting if I had transitioned in my teens.   
There was NO understanding of GID where I was, and no-one to ask for help. So it just wasn't possible. I will never understand -how some people don't get that. 

I can't understand it either.  Why wait 30, 40, 50, or 60 years if you're "female" as you say you are.  Why get married?  why have children?  why use that disgusting thing of yours if you "can't stand it" as you say.  Most of them actually are.  I know because I've met them.   I know because I've talked to them. 

I sometimes read the posts here: "oh poor me, poor me, I can't have GRS, I don't have the money for it, I can't stand what I've got between my legs, I'm so depressed"  and 10 posts before that, they're talking about their ex-wives & four children.  Who are they trying to fool?  If you can't stand "it", why have 4 children, why get married? why transition when you're 50 &  mess up the lives of your wife & kids to satisfy a fetish.  That's pretty damn selfish.

Quote from: Pia on April 15, 2011, 09:18:36 AM
I sometimes read the posts here: "oh poor me, poor me, I can't have GRS, I don't have the money for it, I can't stand what I've got between my legs, I'm so depressed"  and 10 posts before that, they're talking about their ex-wives & four children.  Who are they trying to fool?  If you can't stand "it", why have 4 children, why get married? why transition when you're 50 &  mess up the lives of your wife & kids to satisfy a fetish.  That's pretty damn selfish.

Walk a mile in my shoes before you pretend to know me.

Quote from: Valeriedances on April 15, 2011, 09:35:29 AM
Not everyone has or had the ability to get help. Many were abused, many were subverted, many were forcibly made to conform, many tried their best to survive.

And/or had illness steal decades of our lives.

As one of the older generation who always knew "something" was wrong, I have to reply.

Help was not always available, when I was first questioning I didn't have the internet to turn to.  I didn't have books I even knew how to find, my family doctor "pooh poohed" the idea, the school shrik wanted to have me committed.

I was born in the 40's, started questioning but was beaten into retreat.  We learned through force that it was not ok to question our gender.  We grew up hiding our true feelings, being told that if we will just marry everything will be ok.

Quess what, we did as we were told, married had kids and everything wasn't just fine.  The problems grew and now there was something else in the mix, young children.

Many of us were convinced to put things on hold until our kids reached the age of majority.  Then persue our feelings.

Try to give the older generation the benefit of doubt, it is usually the right thing to do.

A reminder about Rule 10   :police:

Quote10. Bashing or flaming of any individuals or groups is not acceptable behavior on this web site and will not be tolerated in the slightest for any reason.  This includes but is not limited to:

    Advocating the separation or exclusion of one or more group from under the Transgender umbrella term
    Suggesting or claiming that one segment or sub-segment of our community is more legitimate, deserving, or more real than any others

Pia is privileged more than 'late transitioners' because of pioneers and trailblazers before her. Today's late transvestites (as you call us) didn't have the same acceptance or even the education about what this is all about. Some were lucky...some killed themselves..some tried to cure themselves..there are a lot of reasons that would make someone transition later in life. Unlike where you are at in the timeline of society acceptance we come from a more dangerous and hostile time. It is incredibly offensive for you to misgender us.

Quote from: Valeriedances on April 15, 2011, 09:35:29 AM

A teenager today can ask you that same question, what took you so long to complete your GRS at 25?

^^
This.

Everyone is late to transition.  Some are just later than others.  I knew I wanted to be female when I was about ten years old.  Every day after that day has been late.  I'm still too late.

Lol. That was funny, especially Pia's response. Thanks for that. It's the internet, where people are free to claim they are the most female of female and that they have a life that is enviable to all. I'm sure these people look like Megan Fox and have voices as sweet as nectar and ooze femininity. Boys can't get too close to them because they turn into girls. Yikes!

Try to keep it in perspective. Some girl no longer feels relevant so she throws out a post about how she hates how xyz type of person isn't as abc as her. Check out her blog, she uses a picture from 1971. Craziness! It's like when you are in a car accident and usually the person yelling the loudest is usually the one lying. Usually people who feel the need to say that they are something that makes them different from you are, in reality, very similar to you and that scares the bejesus out of them. "I'm not like THIS person, heavens no! I'm like THESE people over here!" Don't imagine it too long, you might get sucked into the vortex and not be able to get out.

People sometimes feel the need to state why they are so different from others and there's an implied hierarchy in their mind. It happens all the time. It happens here sometimes, usually by the same people over and over. It's their MO. Don't let it get you worked up :) Imagine what it would be like to live with that much negativity in your life. Imagine what it would be like to be that bitter that you actually let what other people do bother you that much that you need to make a post about it. As people get older and their belief system is challenged by people coming after them, they'll fight back. Echos of "it wasn't like that in my day!" can be heard. "You young whippersnappers wish you were like me!" Just let them fade away into obscurity. It's better that way ;) Be well, smile, and, most importantly, don't let the negativity get to you! Meghan

Dear Pia and Elizabeth,

By the time I was a teenager I was living in a place where there was no SRS, HRT, or any counseling or information. TG/TS people where locked in houses for the "insane." were beaten wherever they may show up, become social pariahs, and more painfully, they were disavow by family and friends. With no source of income and socially rejected most of them suicide or ended working as prostitutes in the worst part of town where they live a life of total abuse.

Confronted with that reality I choose to get an education that will provided me with independence and with the ability to move to greener pastures. I took ten years and 6000 miles but I ended in the good USA. So now I am in my late 20's contemplating a self-administer orchi. pretty desperate uh!. The girls on my support group and few friends in the "know" talked me out of it. All along I have dated girls, and was quiet popular with them. Everybody I date will be informed of my condition (female ad lesbian born with defective genitalia). To my surprise my lovers could be divided into 2 groups the one that supported me, and the ones who tolerated me.

I knew I will never married because which woman would married me knowing that I was a TS and that my end goal was to align my body to my brain? Well, what you know I met a woman who wanted me to married me and have kids, despise who I am. Transition will come when the kids go to college  we told ourselves.

Fast forward to the present, I am older but the goal remains the same. Would I do thing differently? No, I would not give my kids for anything, even for a gold lined vagina!

Whether I was in combat, athletic or racing competition, earning a living, changing a diaper, or making love, I was -and always will be- a female.  It is not difficult to be a father and a husband and a lover. Love, love, and love. I have nothing to apologize for my life. I have conducted myself with the utmost integrity and honesty. I have contributed to the life of many and to the good of the Nation and Human kind at large, and guess what? I am not the only one.

So here I am sharing my story with you hoping it will help you being less self righteous and more compassionate
Kate

Stuff like this is another of the reasons I ditched the whole TG community 13 years ago. I just got tired of it all. Back in 1998 on soc.support.transgendered and alt.support.transgendered it got really nasty and was one giant catfight all the time, with flamers like the infamous Laura Blake and her bunch stirring the pot constantly. I didn't come here for a repeat of that scene.

Can't we all just get along?

Seems there will always be something to fight about if you want to go there. I'd really rather not.

Amy

Quote from: Pia on April 15, 2011, 09:18:36 AMI sometimes read the posts here: "oh poor me, poor me, I can't have GRS, I don't have the money for it, I can't stand what I've got between my legs, I'm so depressed"  and 10 posts before that, they're talking about their ex-wives & four children.  Who are they trying to fool?  If you can't stand "it", why have 4 children, why get married? why transition when you're 50 &  mess up the lives of your wife & kids to satisfy a fetish.  That's pretty damn selfish.

Maybe such people are just stronger than others and can hang on for years and years without killing themselves. Maybe they find comfort and emotional support in their wife and four kids. Maybe they didn't know what was wrong for all those years. Maybe, when they figured it out, they thought they were mentally ill because that's what the book said, and they didn't want to be mentally ill and just told themselves lies until they almost believed them.

Maybe their path is just freaking different from yours. Did you ever consider that?

Quote from: MeghanAndrews on April 17, 2011, 08:56:09 AM
Lol. That was funny, especially Pia's response. Thanks for that. It's the internet, where people are free to claim they are the most female of female and that they have a life that is enviable to all. I'm sure these people look like Megan Fox and have voices as sweet as nectar and ooze femininity. Boys can't get too close to them because they turn into girls. Yikes!

Try to keep it in perspective. Some girl no longer feels relevant so she throws out a post about how she hates how xyz type of person isn't as abc as her. Check out her blog, she uses a picture from 1971. Craziness! It's like when you are in a car accident and usually the person yelling the loudest is usually the one lying. Usually people who feel the need to say that they are something that makes them different from you are, in reality, very similar to you and that scares the bejesus out of them. "I'm not like THIS person, heavens no! I'm like THESE people over here!" Don't imagine it too long, you might get sucked into the vortex and not be able to get out.

People sometimes feel the need to state why they are so different from others and there's an implied hierarchy in their mind. It happens all the time. It happens here sometimes, usually by the same people over and over. It's their MO. Don't let it get you worked up :) Imagine what it would be like to live with that much negativity in your life. Imagine what it would be like to be that bitter that you actually let what other people do bother you that much that you need to make a post about it. As people get older and their belief system is challenged by people coming after them, they'll fight back. Echos of "it wasn't like that in my day!" can be heard. "You young whippersnappers wish you were like me!" Just let them fade away into obscurity. It's better that way ;) Be well, smile, and, most importantly, don't let the negativity get to you! Meghan

Where is her blog at?

Or like me that is made to believe that what is wrong with me is sinful. If I dont change I will never get close to knowing God. years spent believing lies is not good any way you look at it. Many of us enslaved ourselves with lies conforming to others imaginations making what they believed even stronger, yet now their imaginations have been shaken by what they see in me. I know that God has exepted me in the beloved. The words that they spoke to me bringing me into mental slavery have now become their prison. I am not in that mess anymore by the grace of God. I know who I am and noone can change that about me. even though they try. love each other, give respect where respect is do. Do nothing to cause others to be reenslaved to those old things of the past.

Quote from: Pia on April 15, 2011, 09:18:36 AM
I can't understand it either.  Why wait 30, 40, 50, or 60 years if you're "female" as you say you are.  Why get married?  why have children?  why use that disgusting thing of yours if you "can't stand it" as you say.  Most of them actually are.  I know because I've met them.   I know because I've talked to them. 

I sometimes read the posts here: "oh poor me, poor me, I can't have GRS, I don't have the money for it, I can't stand what I've got between my legs, I'm so depressed"  and 10 posts before that, they're talking about their ex-wives & four children.  Who are they trying to fool?  If you can't stand "it", why have 4 children, why get married? why transition when you're 50 &  mess up the lives of your wife & kids to satisfy a fetish.  That's pretty damn selfish.

Well darlin,

Us older people have loads of reasons as to why we couldn't transition earlier in life. Mostly for me it was pressure to conform to societies norms which I tried to do for 35 years, I tried to put it out of my mind and run with it but in the end you have to give in to what you know you are. I wasn't happy about my situation but i struggled on with what I had. I am now happy in my correct role. I don't regret waiting but I do wish I had done it earlier

I am guessing that you are young and have no knowledge of what it was like for people who did manage to transition in the 70's, 80's and 90's. You really have no idea what people went through to make your path much easier than it has been. So before you start criticising have a thought for others and show a bit of gratitude for what they have done for you.

As to your last paragraph, How dare you judge anyone. Everyone is different and they have to play the hand that is dealt to them. Just because you are so perfect it is no reason to criticise others.

To answer some of Elizabeth's questions from my perspective:

"I will never understand late transitioners".
Well, ask us!

"I will never understand why some late transitioning man can suddenly believe he understands all things female just because he is transitioning."
Oh, Really!  Having more experience doesn't mean that we understand all things female, I'm just realizing it now.

"I will never understand why late transitioners actually believe they are role models and want to be out in front representing transsexuals. In my opinion you are the entire perception problem transsexuals have.  Kim Petras can be a role model. Ashley Prince can be a positive role model. Late transitioners cannot be role models. Nobody believes their reasoning whether it is actually truthful or not.  It is just so odd."
What kind of role model do you want?  Role modeling comes from reputation and that takes time!

"I will never understand why MTF late transsexuals are hurt because the wife takes the kids and walks out. What do you expect them to to do? I guess they should jump for joy that they can now have a perceived lesbian relationship with the man they once loved."
Cannot answer, some of us never married. 

"I will never understand why someone posts as Anonymous and believes they have credibility but then they are obviously fearful of letting anyone know who they really are".
We live in interesting times.  Some should remain anonymous, however, they will have to come out sometimes.  I do respond to those that are less anonymous though.

"I will never understand how a parent abandons their children".
Good question, no answer.  I don't see why they do either.

"I will never understand how any late transitioner can rationalize that transitioning in front of their children is not harmful or painful to a child. They never should have married in the first place".
Some married because of their dysphoria and they think marriage will cure this, it does in some cases.

  Joelene

I think that people should concern themselves with their own transition and forget all about issuing the 'Ten Commandments of Transsexuality.'

Quote from: Princess of Cups on April 17, 2011, 08:46:41 PM
I think that people should concern themselves with their own transition and forget all about issuing the 'Ten Commandments of Transsexuality.'

lol. I liked that :laugh:

I'll never understand the "More Trans Than Thou" types  :laugh:

Now that I've had time to clam down and I'm in a much better mood in general I want to respond to a few things.

Why wait? There are reasons why I am transitioning later in life. The biggest reason is one that even I take for granted and that is there was no Internet when I was going up. If I wanted to know something that wasn't on TV I had to go to the library. The town I lived in had no public library so the only option was the High School library. Certain books were banned from our school library and there was nothing related to LBGT anything. In this town here were no gay bars or drag shows or anything like that. After High School I went to a conservative religious university so not much changed. The only exposure I had to anything even close was watching actors on TV like Milton Berle and Flip Wilson dress in drag for laughs. The utter lack of information was amazing. My first exposure to anything transgender was In college when people made derogatory jokes about sex change operations. The Internet has totally changed the game. Not only is the information easily available but so is the support. I really is a different world. In fact one of the reasons that I started looking at my gender issues when I did was that I had seen what facial feminization surgery could do. Seeing those before and after pictures on the Internet gave me hope that even an middle aged guy like me might be able to look alright. There are many more reasons but this is sufficient.

Why get married? I'm attracted to women not men, I fell in love and got married. I told my wife when I met her about my gender issues, at least as much as I knew at the time. We work hard on our marriage and have always striven to be our genuine selves with each other. We have to let each other grow and it's not always pleasant.

Having kids? I don't know, i didn't have any.

Using that disgusting thing? I was convinced by others at a very early age that I could not be female so I tried my best to be male. Sex has always been difficult, something wasn't right. Even so I still want to please my partner and be close to her in that way.

The fetish comment really got me. If you're talking about a sexual fetish you're way off base. Hormones have killed my sex drive and I'm thrilled! What I'm obsessed with is getting my transition over and living my life.


I tell you what I don't understand, the young transitioners.

I can't imagine what it is like to be under 18, dependent on your parents and trying to get counseling and hormones. My parents would never had allowed it.

I can't imagine what it would be like trying to transition in high school or even before that. High school was hell for me without trying to transition.

I can't imagine getting forced out of my parents home, trying to live on my own and pay for transition much less just surviving.

I can't imagine all the struggles unique to being young and trans. Just like you can't imagine being older and trans.

I admire the courage it takes to transition young. Even if I had been born 30 year later than I was I'm not sure I would have had to courage and confidence to transition as a teen.

Heck I'll never even understand men, much less worrying about when somebody else decides to transition. (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cosgan.de%2Fimages%2Fmidi%2Fkonfus%2Fk030.gif&hash=d6ae95c0f14a0e3e8b9f71cc1b1ecb49080beab3)

I rarely see such bald-faced hatred. It sounds like a late transitioner killed Elizabeth's parents!

I don't understand how it's possible to wait that long, either. Heck, I don't understand how it's possible to wait as long as I have, and I'm 22! I don't understand how it's possible to be a man, or to be Christian, or a Republican. Doesn't mean I'll accuse all men of secretly being women, all Christians of secretly beings atheists, or all Republicans of deep down agreeing with the Democrats.

One of the things I've learned in life is to tolerate those people I don't understand. It is a shame that I, at age 22, seem to have more life experience than this woman has in her 60s.

It sounds like a late transitioner killed Elizabeth's parents!

Yes, and they were delicious  >:-)

not everyone can come out of the womb and start transitioning. i didn't end up living full time as female until just about last year, and there's still more ways i want to express myself. i came to terms with my gender when i was about 13, and i accepted i was transgender. it didn't matter that i had short hair, wore plain tshirts and pants, and was not on female hormones. most here would say i'm doing this young, but it took many steps to get here. i had to finish high school and keep my life as unisex as i could, and then i also had issues with my mom and what she allowed me to do. since i had a mix of aspergers and bad depression, i just couldn't stand up for myself, because i thought i wasn't worth anything, and that some people just had to aim lower. i got through it and i improved, but being hostile about when and where someone transitions in their life is just going to add more discrimination and segregation that we are trying to rid ourselves of.

so.................I'm guessing Pia & Elezy both transitioned before the age of 12???

I can not even attempt to respond to this unbelievable BS without exploding. 

Just read what Meghan wrote.

What a hoot!

Quote from: MeghanAndrews on April 17, 2011, 08:56:09 AM
Lol. That was funny, especially Pia's response. Thanks for that. It's the internet, where people are free to claim they are the most female of female and that they have a life that is enviable to all. I'm sure these people look like Megan Fox and have voices as sweet as nectar and ooze femininity. Boys can't get too close to them because they turn into girls. Yikes!

Try to keep it in perspective. Some girl no longer feels relevant so she throws out a post about how she hates how xyz type of person isn't as abc as her. Check out her blog, she uses a picture from 1971. Craziness! It's like when you are in a car accident and usually the person yelling the loudest is usually the one lying. Usually people who feel the need to say that they are something that makes them different from you are, in reality, very similar to you and that scares the bejesus out of them. "I'm not like THIS person, heavens no! I'm like THESE people over here!" Don't imagine it too long, you might get sucked into the vortex and not be able to get out.

People sometimes feel the need to state why they are so different from others and there's an implied hierarchy in their mind. It happens all the time. It happens here sometimes, usually by the same people over and over. It's their MO. Don't let it get you worked up :) Imagine what it would be like to live with that much negativity in your life. Imagine what it would be like to be that bitter that you actually let what other people do bother you that much that you need to make a post about it. As people get older and their belief system is challenged by people coming after them, they'll fight back. Echos of "it wasn't like that in my day!" can be heard. "You young whippersnappers wish you were like me!" Just let them fade away into obscurity. It's better that way ;) Be well, smile, and, most importantly, don't let the negativity get to you! Meghan

Yeeah what Meghan wrote.       and what Hannah_Irene wrote sound alot like what I wanted to write.

Quote from: Pia on April 15, 2011, 09:18:36 AM
I can't understand it either.  Why wait 30, 40, 50, or 60 years if you're "female" as you say you are.  Why get married?  why have children?  why use that disgusting thing of yours if you "can't stand it" as you say.  Most of them actually are.  I know because I've met them.   I know because I've talked to them. 

I sometimes read the posts here: "oh poor me, poor me, I can't have GRS, I don't have the money for it, I can't stand what I've got between my legs, I'm so depressed"  and 10 posts before that, they're talking about their ex-wives & four children.  Who are they trying to fool?  If you can't stand "it", why have 4 children, why get married? why transition when you're 50 &  mess up the lives of your wife & kids to satisfy a fetish.  That's pretty damn selfish.

Possibly for the same reasons that you waited until now to display your ignorance.

(Being patronised sucks, doesn't it, sweetcakes?)

I am not a very politically correct person. I usually (at least I think I am) rather reasonable though and easy to get along with. However, I will tell it like I know it. Anyway, I posted a comment to her yesterday. Wow! what a response she offered back! So, I just spent a little time in firing a rebuttal to her. This supposed "privilege" thing just eats me up when it's thrown in my face! Rather than wasting space here right now, I'll wait a bit to see if she allows it through.


Dawn

Dawn - why bother? she will never listen or see your point of view. She is to full of herself and narrow minded. It is not worth it.

I will never understand trans women.

However, what I will do is refrain from making long, offensive, self-centered blog posts about things I don't understand just for the purpose of stroking my own ego.

Ok it is what is, but I will say ,, Pia and her have a right to thier opinion,, right or wrong,,. Discussion does not hurt ( although reading her blog, touched some senstive spots with me,  especially because I am twice married  and have 2 kids) but if this kind of thinking is real within our inner circle we should talk about it, not attack from either side. God knows our cross is heavier than most and he has chosen us to be stronger than others.. So we need to take the high road and keep the dialog open

Quote from: Staci3336 on April 19, 2011, 10:11:56 PM
Ok it is what is, but I will say ,, Pia and her have a right to thier opinion,, right or wrong,,. Discussion does not hurt ( although reading her blog, touched some senstive spots with me,  especially because I am twice married  and have 2 kids) but if this kind of thinking is real within our inner circle we should talk about it, not attack from either side. God knows our cross is heavier than most and he has chosen us to be stronger than others.. So we need to take the high road and keep the dialog open

Sorry I disagree. Trans people are a vulnerable group. When someone like her judges us and basically condemns us, she needs to keep those views to herself.

Debate is fine but she is not asking why some people present late she is basically saying we are not 'properly transgendered'.

I personally find her views offensive but I am willing to explain to her what caused me to try and live a lie for so long, and that doesnt make me any less trans than anyone else.

Good point Catherine,, and I love the

Quote'properly transgendered'

LOL just think the heyday a therpist could have with that term!!  ;D

Quote from: Natasha on April 15, 2011, 01:50:39 AM
I will never understand.

http://ben-girl-notesfromthetside.blogspot.com/2011/04/i-will-never-understand.html (http://ben-girl-notesfromthetside.blogspot.com/2011/04/i-will-never-understand.html)
4/13/11
By Elizabeth

I will never understand late transitioners.

I will never understand how someone that is a Type V transsexual or a woman trapped in a man's body can marry and father children if they are a woman?

I will never understand why some late transitioning man can suddenly believe he understands all things female just because he is transitioning.

I will never understand why late transitioners actually believe they are role models and want to be out in front representing transsexuals. In my opinion you are the entire perception problem transsexuals have.  Kim Petras can be a role model. Ashley Prince can be a positive role model. Late transitioners cannot be role models.

This doesn't even make sense.

I'm a late transitioner, 37 in a couple of months.  But I have no children, never been married because of dysphoria/euphoria.  She might have a point about late transitioners suddenly thinking they know all things female because they have female hormones in their system.  Logics and reasonings (notice the use of the plural in both of these) that should have developed over a person's lifetime regardless bloody hormones.  It's more drop the male and allow what is there to flourish.

Tell me why automatically late transitioner can't be a rolemodels Elizabeth?  Or that someone of 18 can't marry and have children?  Damn she's a fookin douchebag.

Fortunately it doesn't really matter if you don't understand the motivations of others. Your lack of understanding - and more, your lack of a desire to understand - doesn't invalidate the life of the people whom you refuse to understand - not even in the slightest.

As dear old Willy said: "There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy..."

Hatred of something doesn't preclude one from continuing to 'try and make do' with what one has. I hate my crappy, beaten up car, but I make do with it because it is the only car I have, and I can't afford to buy a new one. Sometimes I even learn to like my junker of a car - it's ugly, but it's MINE - but deep inside I know I really can't stand that car and would exchange it in a heartbeat if I had the right resources.

Late transitioners make do with the male body they have for a multitude of reasons, mainly due to fear and lack of information. It wasn't until the past ten years, with the explosion of the internet, that many of us have come to the realization that we can indeed transition, and that there are many others out there like us. I sincerely believe that if you had been born just fifteen years earlier, you wouldn't be so glib.

Information gives you the power to make informed decisions. When I was a teen in the nineties, the only information I had about transsexualism was gleaned from various 20/20 shows, Jerry Springer, and Silence of the Lambs. Needless to say, with those kinds of influences, I though I was an absolute freak. Teenagers today have all the information in the world available to them at the click of a mouse, and because this is all they have never known, many take it for granted. The ability to access information on demand is so very powerful. Late transitioners never had that power, until recently.

I could go on, but I'd end up turning this into some kind of academic sociological treatise (indeed, it would make an interesting topic for one).

Excellent post Andream... Very relative

If I would have had the information and resources available I definitely would have transitioned at a much younger age and saved myself the headaches and crap I had to deal with for a large portion of my life

I also wish I could do something about my crap car as well  :laugh:

Quote from: Pia on April 15, 2011, 09:18:36 AM
why have 4 children, why get married? why transition when you're 50 &  mess up the lives of your wife & kids to satisfy a fetish.  That's pretty damn selfish.

"...to satisfy a fetish." I find so hard to believe that any TS/TG person would you this quote. "Fetish" is used by people who hate TS?TG people to denigrate and dehumanize us, to steal our integrity, to attempt to strip us of our morality. I have seen used by lawyers when attempting to take parental rights from  a TS/TG parent.

Pia: if transitioning at 50 is satisfying a fetishism, then so it s at 20, or 26, right?

do you get more points for transitioning early?

Oh please deep down, you old transitioners, know you are fetishistic transvestites.  If you used to masturbate wearing women clothes prior to transition, you're no more than that, a fetishistic transvestite...and that's not "hate speech", that's the truth;  hell it's even listed on the DSM & ICD.  Of course, if you were not like that, there's no reason to feel offended, right?    You can hide all you want, you can claim you're a "true transsexual" , you can call me an ignorant bigot if you want, you can even have boobs & be post-op but deep down, you know damn well what you are.  A glorified fetishistic transvestite who sacrificed his wife & kids to satisfy a sexual fetish.  Now with regards to "female to male transsexuals".  Dr. Harry Benjamin didn't believe in you and neither do I.  especially the "gay FTM's...haha.  What I damn joke!    Once the DSM-5 is approved, the fetishistic transvestites, the non-ops, the "female to male" ->-bleeped-<-s will be labelled "sick in the head" for good  & guess what?  no government is going to pass legislation in favor of a bunch of freaks.  Again, that's a fact.  Whose fault is that?  Yours!!  You did it all yourself.

Quote from: Pia on April 21, 2011, 12:26:19 AM
Oh please deep down, you old transitioners, know you are fetishistic transvestites.  If you used to masturbate wearing women clothes prior to transition, you're no more than that, a fetishistic transvestite...and that's not "hate speech", that's the truth;  hell it's even listed on the DSM & ICD.  Of course, if you were not like that, there's no reason to feel offended, right?    You can hide all you want, you can claim you're a "true transsexual" , you can call me an ignorant bigot if you want, you can even have boobs & be post-op but deep down, you know damn well what you are.  A glorified fetishistic transvestite who sacrificed his wife & kids to satisfy a sexual fetish.  Now with regards to "female to male transsexuals".  Dr. Harry Benjamin didn't believe in you and neither do I.  especially the "gay FTM's...haha.  What I damn joke!    Once the DSM-5 is approved, the fetishistic transvestites, the non-ops, the "female to male" ->-bleeped-<-s will be labelled "sick in the head" for good  & guess what?  no government is going to pass legislation in favor of a bunch of freaks.  Again, that's a fact.  Whose fault is that?  Yours!!  You did it all yourself.

Pia, of course, has the right to his opinion and he has a point about how people may always assign his birth gender to him.

Pia, do you think your transition was down to how Argentinians view homosexuals?

I can never understand why people who say they don't understand write blogs acting like they do understand and getting it horribly wrong  ::)

Quote from: JohnR on April 21, 2011, 12:33:00 AM
Pia, of course, has the right to his opinion and he has a point about how people may always assign his birth gender to him.

Well, John, that's just how gay men in denial are, have to convince themselves they're normal by putting everyone else down...I kind of feel sorry for him, in a way.

:police: Pia - your views are a flagrant disregard of TOS rule 10, as indeed is this whole thread.

10. Bashing or flaming of any individuals or groups is not acceptable behavior on this web site and will not be tolerated in the slightest for any reason.  This includes but is not limited to:

• Advocating the separation or exclusion of one or more group from under the Transgender umbrella term
• Suggesting or claiming that one segment or sub-segment of our community is more legitimate, deserving, or more real than any others

I was one of those who transitioned pretty young. I started when I was 5 and had my SRS in my early 20's. I am now in my fifties - so I am still now old. You have to understand that back then it was not so easy for people to get help. I was exceptionally lucky to have the parents I did. Had I not done so things could have been very different, and I could have been an older transitioner instead of a young transitioner who has now grown old, but that would not have changed the internal reality one iota.

Others live in different circumstances. It is grossly disrespectful to judge their actions in that way and not acceptable under the terms of service.

Try showing some compassion here instead of always being so harsh on anyone who didn't have your (and my) advantages in life and you will find that instead of being one of the members that many here resent and avoid, you could become a valued part of this community. It is neither necessary or effective to constantly attack others to bolster your own ego. It just places you in line for an embarrassing public official warning like this one which far from validating you just makes you look like an intolerant fool.

I am now locking this thread to prevent further outbursts.

Thank you for your attention everyone  :police:

While Pia's sentiments are not only offensive to many of us I think her use of inflammatory and hateful rhetoric - the same kind that is used by the right wing religionist haters who defend oppressing ALL of the trans community, including Pia - is truly beyond the pale.  You should be ashamed of yourself, Pia, for using words like, "fetish" and "freaks," because you ought to know better than that.

My other concern is that, while I can understand the motivation and desire to do so, misgendering ANYONE on Susan's is crossing the line by too far.  Let's not sink down to the level of those who think trans people deserve the oppression and animosity they receive.