Susan's Place Transgender Resources

My friend had her SRS surgery in CHX on Monday and started her dialating routine yesterday.  She said afterwards how horribly painful it was and I just called her now and she said she is now refusing to do it.  I said over and over "you have to do it, you have to do it, you can't go through all this and let it close up" but she simply wont listen.  She said she has discussed it with her boyfriend and he is happy to just have anal sex if it's hurting that bad.

I feel awful that she is just going to give up after everything she has been through, but she said as long as it looks OK and she can go the toilet out of it that's all she cares about.  She asked if I would find out what would happen if she didn't dialate, would she still be able to use it to go the toilet and would it still look OK on the outside?

Any advice is much appreciated!

It's very important at this stage to dilate.

She should discuss this with her surgeon about the size of the dilator, the regimen
and if more pain medication is required.

If she does change her mind later and if no bad complications occurred,
she will either have to work at remedial dilation or even a colonoplasty.

It is far better that she bite the bullet and dilate now even if she never
plans to have penetrative sex.

Goodness

It closes and you lose all depth and infection later on that will cause serious compliccations.  it is tough yes we all been through it but you must must dilate. Get pain relief learn how to relax create a peaceful atmosphere but never stop or it was all for nothing.

The truth is as a woman you learn to suck it up and get on with it, dilations a perfect example

Pls get you friend to keep at it

Id say it is a pita but...
It may lead to complications later down the line if not dialated correctly. Tissue shrinkage etc.

Sigmoid colon surgery is no treat (I had that done) but... You still have to dialate

*dilate

Yes, post-operative MTFs should dilate for the rest of their life.  However, the frequency at which you dilate may need not be more than a couple times a week after you get, say, beyond a year after surgery.  It should also be noted that if you are frequently being penetrated by a cock (real or manufactured) then that can take the place of dilating yourself with the dildos given to you by your surgeon.

The amount of penile tissue that was used for surgery has nothing to do with the need to dilate.

I believe Dr Brassards nurses stated that the first weeks after that it will close up in about 48 hours. There was a girl in the residence that didn't dilate and it happened too, she had the surgery for nothing.

Dilating very frequently in the first weeks, even couple of months, right after surgery are indeed most important.  This is the time at which the new parts need to be dilated in order to establish the permanency of its inside size and to absolutely keep it open and clean.

I am 20 days out from surgery and near two weeks of dilating.  While the parts feel a little sore as I initially insert the dilator, it doesn't hurt and feels just fine once it's inside.  (My surgeon was McGinn).

But if she didn't dilate, would she be able to pee out of her vagina, or would this restrict her from doing this also? Would it still look the same from the outside and would she be able to live a normal life?

Because the urethra is located outside the neo-vaginal canal, urination should technically still be possible.  The problem is that failing to perform dilation invites complications from infection and abscess, potentially leading to tissue necrosis and infection and/or loss of the urethra.  It's not simply a matter of it closing up, it's all the complications from healing closed incorrectly.  The neo-vagina is not designed to heal closed, it's designed to heal and remain open.  Dilating is necessary to assure this.

Non dilation could in extreme cases even become life threatening.

The neo vagina will close over and then may form a deep abscess, this could then burst internally causing septicemia and rapid death. That is admittedly a worst case scenario, but it COULD happen, and as the result would likely be fatal it really isn't a risk worth taking.

Besides which the number of people who later regret not having done their dilation properly and thus having inadequate depth for a relationship is VAST. My own partner is one such person.

Please do everything you possibly can to ensure that she re-starts immediately - I gather it can be painful for some people but giving up is neither a sensible option, nor a safe one. Sadly I have no knowledge of what the pain is like as I never had any, so I cant really comment, but I imagine that there are pain killers that can be taken.

One way or another she really MUST restart immediately.

Wow you must try and convince her to keep up the dilations.  Take more pain killers if needed.  The complications that may come about through not dilating could be very serious. 

She also needs to realise that her current relationship may not last and she may then regret her current decision. 

I can't see her having trouble with urinating by not dilating but that's not to say she won't. 

She must keep dilating now, it is so very important, for so many reasons.

It would be a real shame after going through the process of having the surgery to not follow through with dilation. She really would regret it later. The initial period after surgery is a challenging time, but perseverance is definitely worth it in the end. Dilation is just part of being post op & from someone that neglected a regular dilation routine I can tell you to lose depth isn't a good thing, you can gain some of it back, but it really is much harder, than establishing a good on going dilation routine & maintaining the depth you get at the time of your surgery.

Ok, I watched this show about different sex problems or whatever.

There was a genetic female that was born without a vagina, in her twenties she had surgery done to create a neo vagina (yea thats what they called it) after surgery she was told to leave the dilator in for at least 6 months, she didn't and it closed up. Years later she got married and went in again for the operation, she left the dilator in this time and now she has a perfectly functioning vagina.

My question is; why is it that trans have to dilate why can't they just leave it in! she had the same type  operation done she also has no overies or uterus.

Shelly

Quote from: Just Shelly on April 24, 2011, 08:54:13 PM
Ok, I watched this show about different sex problems or whatever.

There was a genetic female that was born without a vagina, in her twenties she had surgery done to create a neo vagina (yea thats what they called it) after surgery she was told to leave the dilator in for at least 6 months, she didn't and it closed up. Years later she got married and went in again for the operation, she left the dilator in this time and now she has a perfectly functioning vagina.

My question is; why is it that trans have to dilate why can't they just leave it in! she had the same type  operation done she also has no overies or uterus.

Shelly

I've wondered the same thing myself.  i assume it's pretty obvious that you couldn't leave one in full time that was at full depth, but I'd wondered about a smaller sort of "reverse strap on" device that was designed to stay in between dilation with the bigger/linger tools.

Or would that possibly "set" your new vagina in a "gaped" position?

Quote from: Jaime Jennifer on April 24, 2011, 07:53:32 AM
But if she didn't dilate, would she be able to pee out of her vagina, or would this restrict her from doing this also? Would it still look the same from the outside and would she be able to live a normal life?

As some said, urination may be possible. What I imagine is that if the neovagina closes, it will not close perfectly. Then, all kinds of bacteria and fungus will find safe shelter in its inner corners.

Indeed, nasties can grow in there.... and leak out causing stains and bad smells.

Quote from: girl_ashley on April 24, 2011, 07:03:29 AM
*  It should also be noted that if you are frequently being penetrated by a cock (real or manufactured)

Exactly, its much the same when you put it like that.
Im now frequently being penetrated by my Husband regularly and more so since we got married, you could say he's now my dialator lol my reply hasn't changed from a year ago in this thread https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,77648.msg537739.html#msg537739 (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,77648.msg537739.html#msg537739)  btw Iv a good 6inchs of depth.
Pauline

Well, long-term no dilating means losing depth, I can attest to that. I'm 16 years post-op, and for the first couple of years i dilated religiously and things were fine. I was celibate for around 10 years or so, and figured since i wasn't using it why go through the trouble of dilating right? Wrong. I've literally lost about 4 inches of depth (and I didn't have great depth to begin with, maybe 6 inches), and even though i've tried to start dilating again, the depth just isn't there anymore.

So now i'm weighing my options and will probably have to go through basically another SRS with what they're going to have to do to carve out my vagina again. Bottom line: don't stop dilating!

:'(

Quote from: Just Shelly on April 24, 2011, 08:54:13 PM
My question is; why is it that trans have to dilate why can't they just leave it in! she had the same type  operation done she also has no overies or uterus.

Shelly

After srs you have stent in for 6 days after the surgery that allows the canal to start to heal.On my 6th day the nurse was going to take my stent out and mentioned that I was probably getting sore. She said that was my body trying to actually push the stent out because it is foreign to the body.

Maybe this is part of why? The body would have a hard time properly healing with a foreign body in it? 

I had my sex change 1 month ago, i was very scared with dilatation and bleeding, i could not put the curved dilator inside me without bleeding, then in the clinic recommended me the new silicone dilators from *soul source*,  i started with number 2 (pink) wich is almost 4 inches, my surprise was when it went trough without pain, i could feel how is passing the pubic bone without pain and the best, no bleeding, now i am starting using the next one wich is 4 inches deep, will keep dilating to get more deep.

also, after some weeks of using the silicone dilator now i can put the hard curved dilator color orange much easier, for now just i can get to the first dot wich is 4 inches. these silicone dilators really work.

Isabel,

Welcome to the site.

This is a pretty old topic (2011) but thanks for sharing your experiences. There are a lot of people sharing their different dilation experiences and schedules. Can I ask who your surgeon or practice was?

I also want to share some links with you. They are mostly welcome information and the rules that govern the site. If you have not had a chance to look through them, please take a moment to:

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by  (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html)
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,54369.0.html)
  
• Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar) (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,114.0.html.)
  
• Reputation rules (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,18960.0.html)
  
• News posting & quoting guidelines (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,174951.0.html)
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,59974.msg383866.html#msg383866)
  

Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.

With warmth,

Joanna

PS I am moving this topic to Transsexual Talk:Post Op life

I dilated for 6 months after surgery (13 years ago now) and due to the immense pain I gave up on it. The pain was just too much, plus the whole bother and mess and endless infection I kept getting.
It was all a bit ridiculous really, and such a regime that you have to adhere to for the rest of your life is crazy to my mind. I wish someone clever would come up with a better way to get SRS without having such a massive downside to it.
All that happened is that I lost all my depth and width and now cannot have penetrative sex. Nothing else bad happened.
Of course I now have a male partner and bitterly regret giving up, but we make our own decisions and we have to live by them.