Susan's Place Transgender Resources

It's that time of year again-- it's warm enough to wear my nice, comfortable shorts outside the house.  And, like every year at this time, I'm choosing not to because I really don't want to shave my legs.  I like my hairy legs.  I like how they look and feel and how low maintenance they are.  I've always hated shaving my legs-- it's time consuming and gross and annoying and usually painful.  But I've been doing it in the summer since some random 7th grader made a comment about my hairy legs (and my Vans shoes) while I was peacefully trying to pee in the school bathroom one day my first month of middle school.  Every year I put off wearing shorts because I don't want to shave until I finally give in and shave my legs so I can wear them.  And here I am again.

I know that when I'm passing full time it won't be an issue-- I just won't shave them.  But even though I pass to strangers here, people I know still know me as female and the last thing I need is running into one of my student's parents in WalMart and them getting all uppity about a woman who doesn't shave her legs teaching her child.  It's dumb that I need to worry about that, but I do.  I guess this is more a rant than asking for advice.  The risk of that happening outweighs my wish to wear shorts with hairy legs.  I'll probably just wear pants until I go back home for the summer (I'm going to try to go full time as male this summer) and then I'll let my legs in all their hairy glory stand out for the world to see (as long as my bosses at my summer job don't make a big deal out of it).

I just wish this wasn't an issue and it's so stupid that it is.

Quote from: Devin87 on April 30, 2011, 03:30:12 PMthe last thing I need is running into one of my student's parents in WalMart and them getting all uppity about a woman who doesn't shave her legs teaching her child.

Has that happened to you?

I can understand how you feel.  Even with me being on T, I won't be able to wear shorts all the time because I have not come out at work (and don't plan to since I won't be at the job but about a year).  I will be wearing long pants all summer when I am around work or functions with co-workers.

It's so easy to say who cares what others think, but sometimes it can affect your job.  Last thing I want is to draw attention to me and have people start trying to pick out other things not the norm.  If nobody knew me and I was a new face it would be different.   Good luck with trying to find a happy middle ground, I know it can be a pain.

I'm having the same issue/thoughts about wearing shorts. It's quite a conundrum, I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm so uncomfortable with looking at my legs when they're shaved, but it's probably what I'm going to have to do if I don't want to start explaining myself to people.. I hope you figure out a way to make it work for you, whatever you choose to do.

Yeah, I'm having the same issue.  I'm probably just going to stick to pants through the summer, but that might be harder if you live in a hot area.

i have the very same problem....people on campus hear my female name when names are called out....and i'm too scared to sit there with my (albeit light blond) furry legs on display. but i'd just feel ridiculous to shave them and also i want to pass as male, and will run around in shorts outside the university setting.....so i pretty much decided to stick with pants, maybe switch to linen pants, for school, and wear shorts when i'm not at school. it's so weird when you're supposed to fit into two different sets of expectations.
at school i'll be expected to use the ladies room by those who know me but will be expected to use the mens room by those who don't know me...confusing as hell.

Before I identified as "not female" (a chunk of time as genderqueer and some as male) I wouldn't shave my legs. I wear shorts, I never passed and never really cared about my legs. Lots of people don't shave their legs, I don't really see the issue is.

I'd be inclined to think that a parent so shallow as to judge a "female" teacher for having hairy legs is not going to hold a trans-male teacher in high regard, either. For that reason, I'm not sure full-time passing is going to be any easier for you where judgemental people are concerned. At that stage, a student may tell a parent that their teacher "used to be a woman" and you may get confronted about it. There are always going to be some who knew you pre-transition, so even if you look 100% male, information about your past is always accessible, even if only through rumours.

I'm not saying any of this to be discouraging. On the contrary, I'm offering an alternative perspective to consider that is actually intended to encourage you to just go ahead and be yourself and not worry about the hairy legs. It's possible you may be allowing your fear to hold you back. Yes, someone may say something that you fear will place your job in jeopardy. However, someone may just as easily say something later on in your transition that may do the same. Should you hold back because of it? Basically, this is all a matter of deciding when and where to draw the line. You, of course, are the only one that can decide what's best for you.

I realize you aren't asking for advice, so feel free to completely disregard this entire post. I have no way of knowing whether or not my opinion is at all relevant, since I'm not the one living under your circumstances and I don't have all the facts.

I don't shave mine. I've worn shorts around friends and the haven't said anything about it. I don't have that much hair on my legs bu still. I'm worried about my parents noticing though. We have pool parties at our house so I may end up shaving them unless I come out in May which is the goal I've set.

I'm having the same issue, too. I guess I don't pass as well as I thought I did. I do usually get taken as male, because a lot of people in this small town automatically think short hair = male and long hair = female so that's all there is to it. But I guess more people can tell than I had thought, and I wondered if I should shave my legs. I don't know why I have had fear of or had been offended by people calling me or thinking of me as a dyke. I mean if I were a lesbian, what's so wrong with that? Absolutely nothing at all. But there's still a part of me that doesn't want that assumption made about me. Then again, this is a small town, and the mindset here is like a town of 100 in 1800. So to them, there is only male and female, gay and straight. Gender roles are rigid and old fashioned, and I'll just never pass for a not-lesbian woman 'round these parts. (redneck joke there) So, every day, I ultimately decide not to shave. I don't have much hair on my legs at all. I can see it under very bright sunlight, but otherwise, my legs don't appear unshaven. And I do kind of wish there was more hair and that it was darker.

I worried about this for a while, but I finally got a point where I just didn't care anymore. No one has ever said anything to me about my leg hair, and they're rather fuzzy with dark hair on my calves. I'm not out to people at school and still. Nothing. Honestly, I'm not sure people will care much. If you get confronted, just use the "I'm a hippy" excuse. Other guys have used that and said it worked. Good luck dude!

I'm out to everyone now but even before that I didn't shave my legs. Gods I don't think I've shaved my legs since I was 14? Either way the most I get are people looking at them but I rarely even get that. I see lots of people who don't shave their legs. -shrug- I've never thought it was an issue.

QuoteI don't know why I have had fear of or had been offended by people calling me or thinking of me as a dyke. I mean if I were a lesbian, what's so wrong with that? Absolutely nothing at all. But there's still a part of me that doesn't want that assumption made about me.

this. except that for me, the category just seems way out of place...after all i'm a bisexual/asexual/but leaning towards gay guy, and as a guy who likes guys and sometimes girls to be mistaken for a girl who only likes girls...that just upsets me. but then again, even if my legs were clean shaven, those who know me as female and don't know i'm trans may still jump to that conclusion, after all there's the haircut and clothing :D i don't know, where i live there's usually a very unkempt , "i don't care what i look like" attitude and appearance connected to girls with leg hair. maybe that's what makes me feel awkward?

I had this same problem and I was really worried about shaving before I went to FL a couple weeks ago for vacation.  I didn't shave no one said a thing.  My mom noticed but she didn't make any comments (and she hates the fact I'm trans) and no one else said anything either.  I think people just don't want to bring it up, like they're more embarrassed than you.

Quote from: coyote on April 30, 2011, 05:29:15 PM
I'd be inclined to think that a parent so shallow as to judge a "female" teacher for having hairy legs is not going to hold a trans-male teacher in high regard, either. For that reason, I'm not sure full-time passing is going to be any easier for you where judgemental people are concerned. At that stage, a student may tell a parent that their teacher "used to be a woman" and you may get confronted about it. There are always going to be some who knew you pre-transition, so even if you look 100% male, information about your past is always accessible, even if only through rumours.

I'm not saying any of this to be discouraging. On the contrary, I'm offering an alternative perspective to consider that is actually intended to encourage you to just go ahead and be yourself and not worry about the hairy legs. It's possible you may be allowing your fear to hold you back. Yes, someone may say something that you fear will place your job in jeopardy. However, someone may just as easily say something later on in your transition that may do the same. Should you hold back because of it? Basically, this is all a matter of deciding when and where to draw the line. You, of course, are the only one that can decide what's best for you.

I realize you aren't asking for advice, so feel free to completely disregard this entire post. I have no way of knowing whether or not my opinion is at all relevant, since I'm not the one living under your circumstances and I don't have all the facts.

Well I currently live in a part of the country I only plan on being in for two years (I'm just finishing up my first year).  I'm going back to the other side of the country for the summer and want to try to pass for the summer there, but I'll come back here in August as a female for my second year.  After that I plan on switching career tracks slightly (become more specialized and maybe not work in a school setting), but I don't plan on ever coming back out to where I am now (it's the middle of the desert-- not my favorite place).  So right now I'm going for more of a masculine-looking female here for the next year.

Quote from: skakid on April 30, 2011, 09:28:13 PM
I think people just don't want to bring it up, like they're more embarrassed than you.

LOLz cause, you know; no body wants to be with the "chick" who doesn't shave.
I donno why I just found this so funny. Something is probably wrong with me.

Quote from: Silver on April 30, 2011, 03:36:15 PM
Has that happened to you?

No, I've never gone out in public with unshaved legs.  Unless most female-bodied people, I take after my father in the hair department.  I might even be considered slightly hairy for a man.  And this is pre-T.

I hope you don't mind a little help from the "other side"

Last year was the first time I went out in public with shaved legs, yes I got a few looks but very few, and NO ONE said anything.

I know to you this may not seem the same, sure there are guys that shave there legs, but how many of these guys are starting to look like a female!

Its kind of the same, there are woman that don't shave and still look feminine.

I think the big question, is do you possibly want to be outed. I think this was more my worry when I thought about it more. I hope I can give you some insight of how an MTF feels, its not much different ;)

Shelly

I had this problem a few years back.  After about 2 summers of being on T, my family got used to it, and it's just not an issue anymore.  Patience is key! 

Now my legs are brushable, and only my grandmother still says, "My god did your legs get hairy."  She says this everytime I don't have long pants on tho.  It's kind of funny. 

I do actually trim mine though.  Otherwise it just looks messy.  Keep things tidy and "real."  I have to admit the leg hair creeping own onto the top of my foot is gross.  Zip that right off. 

Last summer I did have ONE awkward incident.  I was browsing in a Dollar Tree and ran into a close Art teacher of mine from HS.  She was unaware of my transition as I didn't tell her; I didn't think she'd be jive.  Luckily she was, and she was also shocked.  She looked at my legs like, "OH MY GOD," but then snapped out of it.  Kinda funny moment. 

Don't let your anxiety get super high on this.  =)  I think of things as "just do it now and get it over with..." people can't get used to think (or, the revised you) if you don't expose some things.  Y'know? 

It's nice to read that some people here simply "don't care" what others think of their harry legs or if people stare. 

Where I come from it's like HORRIBLE for a woman to not shave her legs.  it's like the most disturbing and ugly thing in the world.  And since right now I think most people think I look like a lesbian, I couldn't bear to go out in public without shaved legs and have people staring at me because of what I think that they'll be thinking. 

I really wish I didn't grow up with that view of women with unshaved legs, because I would really like to not care what other people think either.  But since I didn't grow up with a bad view of men with shaved legs, I think I'll just have to stick with shaving my legs until I feel like I pass the majority of the time.

I'm wondering about this my self. I'm out to everyone and stealth mostly at work but for those few who know I don't want them to see me as a furry female plus a lot of the guys at my work shave their legs. If I work outside of my current location though (out of air conditioning) I've decided I don't care and I'm wearing shorts because it is wayyy to hot not to and with anything outside of work I wear shorts with no cares.

I've never shaved my legs in my life, and never plan to. There are lots of bio women who don't shave, and I really don't think every person who's opinion you give a damn about is going to be scrutinizing the length your leg hair. Besides, if you get a tan and don't have jet-black hair, it won't show up anyways.

I don't shave mine normally, because the only people who see my legs are my girlfriend and the girl I have to share my room with, but I don't think she really looks. Last summer I ended up shaving them to wear with my cut-offs - the hair's dark enough to easily be seen, but too thin to look anywhere near masculine. They just look like unshaved girl legs. Pale and pasty for me it is then :D

yeah me too. I'm in the Army, and when we have to do PT in the morning I have to wear  PT shorts.. I get a lot of ->-bleeped-<-. I'm starting to just not care. A lot of people are saying crazy stuff about me and a lot of the guys sometimes wanna fight me? I don't get it, but I'm starting to just be like who cares do what makes you happy and comfortable those people have nothing to do with your everyday life sometimes and if they do just go with. I'm starting just be like ok and? whats the problem when they start ->-bleeped-<-, and I just show that I don't care what they think.. this is why the army doesn't like me very much haha

From the other side  as well,
I shaved by legs my whole life, Swimmers, cyclists, wrestlers and heaps of people do.  What's the problem?
Confidence?

Cindy

I remember when I was in middle school, I wasn't aware I was trans, and all of my female friends would comment about how disgusting my unshaved legs were. I finally gave in to peer pressure and shaved them. I HATED shaving them but I did it anyway because it made other people uncomfortable. In highschool, I met this girl, a good friend of mine now. I had come out to her as transgender and we one time brought up the issue of shaving legs. She had said to me, "I identify as female, but that doesn't mean I absolutely HAVE to shave my legs. I don't shave my legs, and it doesn't make me less of a woman for it." Made me realize that I really need to concern myself with MYSELF and not care what others think. So now I'm no longer afraid to go out in public with shorts and hairy legs.  :) But like what others have mentioned in this thread, there are girls with hairy legs, and guys with shaved legs. There really should be no need to worry about what people will think of your leg hair (or any kind of hair on your body for that matter).

I shave my whole body cause I prefer it that way,,,my face is the only place I leave for a few days to get the stubble...my issue is that this year I am not going to be able to wear my spandex shorts (not masculine....lol!) and jeans are gonna kill me.
I hate those baggy long shorts that I see guys wearing too....what to do ???!!!!

This is unrelated...but what if employers made guys shave their legs for their job or keep the hair at a certain length...just like how some make guys keep their facial hair to certain standards....it would be ridiculous.

Man, I'm glad I work where they don't care what you look like, as long as you do your job. I like to be as hairy as possible.

I forgot to add that there is a comfort factor.  I don't like to shave my legs because then they look very feminine, and that bothers me.  However, as I have rather long, coarse hair, it can feel uncomfortable when wearing rougher pants like jeans.

I've had comments on my arm hair, and the hair there is nothing compared to my legs. My mom has inspected my leg hair before. She threw a fit the last time I was wearing shorts. It was just around the house too. She had randomly showed up, I would have put pants on had I know she was coming. I generally prefer pants anyway.

I don't think I've ever shaved my legs but then again I really never had to. Hair just refuses to grow on my legs and arms. But that may change once I start T.

I'm not really sure what to do either.  I personally don't really like the feel of leg hair but I decided to stop shaving for a bit to see if I can get used to it. My friend doesn't shave but he barely has any hair so it's hardly noticeable that he doesn't shave.... He passes a loooot better than me even though he doesn't have much leg hair. If you like having shaved legs, keep shaving, if you don't, go ahead and stop.

Hahahahahha.  oh.jesus.  I haven't shaved my legs in .... wow ... FOREVER ... haha.  I wear shorts.  Even before I was telling people wtf was up in my life ... I just refuse to shave my legs ... or armpits AT ALL ... ever.  Well ... ok ... I did it once just to be an ass ... and my gf ripped me a new one.  not.allowed.apparently.  :-)

And ... I'm hairy ... I've had hairy man legs for YEARS ... and I just started T so ... yea ... hahaha

This is one of those things that's really a cultural thing. In North America the culture dictates that women are to shave damn near everything ... have long hair ... wear make up ... you know, all those things to make women look like women *eyeroll*. It's stupid really ... and everyone goes along with it because they're too afraid to be "different". I've been there myself - the too afraid to be different or to get comments because of it. Earlier in the year I was shaving my legs because I felt weird going to get a massage or acupuncture if I didn't. I hadn't been in in awhile and last week I was at my massage therapists and I jokingly said, "don't laugh, I haven't shaved my legs in months". And she was all, "oh hell I don't even do that all winter. I don't shave under my arms either." It's not just gender-benders who don't want to shave. I think a lot of women don't. If more just said f**k that then a whole lot of people would be more comfortable.

Oh also here's a related blog about the topic ... http://www.shamelessmag.com/blog/2010/01/monique-amanda-palmer-golden-globesand-hairy-legs/ (http://www.shamelessmag.com/blog/2010/01/monique-amanda-palmer-golden-globesand-hairy-legs/)

Two people I know are relatively famous and have hairy legs or don't shave and are women:
Irina Shayk who is a Sports Illustrated swimsuit cover model.
pic for proof (http://cdn.everyjoe.com/files/2011/02/irina-shayk-hairy-legs.jpg)
and Mo'Nique
proof (http://images.fox.com.au/2010/01/20/332599/mo-nique-hairy-legs-golden-globes.jpg)

Yes there is pressure for people who are read as female to shave but there are a lot of people that don't fit that mold and don't get crap for it.

I found out yesterday my legs are hairer than my friends boyfriends. Haha I aint even on T yet.

Quote from: Lee11 on May 01, 2011, 08:49:42 AM
I shave my whole body cause I prefer it that way,,,my face is the only place I leave for a few days to get the stubble...my issue is that this year I am not going to be able to wear my spandex shorts (not masculine....lol!) and jeans are gonna kill me.
I hate those baggy long shorts that I see guys wearing too....what to do ???!!!!

I see guys wearing bike shorts a lot. 

Maybe I'm one of the weird ones who do notice when men have shaved legs. Then again, in my corner of the world, men with shaved legs are usually swimmers or cyclists and I was looking at their legs before I noticed the lack of hair.  ;)

I've been fretting a bit about the same thing. Beach vacation this year. I don't really care one way or the other about shaving my legs, but I'm really freaking lazy. I'm considering buying a BodyCruze razor, so that I don't have to take the time to do it manually. Plus it'll make trimming any body hair I get on T a lot faster and easier. (I'm not a personal fan of body hair, especially in excess.) Here (yay, the South) I think people would comment if I didn't shave, in Minneapolis no one commented including the guys I lived with though I wasn't out to them.

I used to be worried about this too. The first time I flaunted my man legs was when I went to a water park for a weekend with my girlfriend's family. It felt good to wear swim trunks and be comfortable with how my legs looked (after years of swimming requiring shaving and female gendered swimwear). I was worried, because I wasn't out to them about my gender stuff, but it ended up fine and nobody said anything and nobody was weird.

Now I wear shorts all the time and haven't shaved in ages. Sometimes people in the dorms stare at me and give me nasty looks, but they are kinda jerks to start with and need to grow up and read a book on feminism.

I worry about this sometimes as I don't pass but I don't care enough to shave. I hate that it's expected of women to shave and that any woman who doesn't want to are seen as freaks.

Yeah, I hate the whole "hairy = gross" stigma. Guys shaving their legs is becoming more and more of a norm so I think there is far greater acceptance of that than females who don't shave their legs. I see more guys who shave their legs than women who don't, that is for sure.

I don't shave my legs or my armpits and it's been more than a year and a half since I've touched the hair there even remotely. The less you shave it the less you become self-conscious about, imo. Before I used to shave it off every time I knew I had to be somewhere in public with shorts on, but it just got ridiculous and I didn't feel comfortable that way. And why propagate an image of myself that I dislike? I really don't think it could damage a career, and if it does challenge those who have a problem with it.

A lot of people seem worried about being seen as a "gross" unshaven woman. The only reason society started believing/still believe women should be hairless if for the sex appeal, really. But at that point I'd just do a reality check and ask yourself why you care about that. Do you really need to be a stereotypical "physically appealing female" if you're eventually planning on coming out anyways...and even for straight ciswomen who obviously aren't, I don't think they should be worried either. It's time to break the stereotypes.