Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: A_Dresden_Doll on May 04, 2011, 04:50:45 PM Return to Full Version
Title: Came out to my father.
Post by: A_Dresden_Doll on May 04, 2011, 04:50:45 PM
Post by: A_Dresden_Doll on May 04, 2011, 04:50:45 PM
Needless to say, coming out to my family has been one of hardest things I have ever had to resort myself to do. I haven't told all of them, but I just came out to my dad an hour ago.
And he was perfectly fine with it. He says I have his support 100 percent. He said that he has been around the block a few times, and that this wasn't exactly the first time he had dealt with a trans person. He has had friends whose children are transgender. He said that he loves me, and only wants me to live to my fullest potential. I was barely able to talk from how hard I was crying. I had been soo afraid of loosing my family because of this, and loosing him especially. After our conversation ended, I collapsed crying. I have never felt that so right in doing something. I have never believed in myself, and it is finally happening. With my dad's support, even if everyone else in family abandons me, I know I can do this. I can finally live my life the right way.
And he was perfectly fine with it. He says I have his support 100 percent. He said that he has been around the block a few times, and that this wasn't exactly the first time he had dealt with a trans person. He has had friends whose children are transgender. He said that he loves me, and only wants me to live to my fullest potential. I was barely able to talk from how hard I was crying. I had been soo afraid of loosing my family because of this, and loosing him especially. After our conversation ended, I collapsed crying. I have never felt that so right in doing something. I have never believed in myself, and it is finally happening. With my dad's support, even if everyone else in family abandons me, I know I can do this. I can finally live my life the right way.
Title: Re: Came out to my father.
Post by: JungianZoe on May 04, 2011, 07:55:46 PM
Post by: JungianZoe on May 04, 2011, 07:55:46 PM
Wow... congratulations! What a fantastic response you got. ;D
And I perfectly understand what you're feeling right now. I know my own dad is going to abandon me for this, so when I came out to my stepdad, it was with the nervousness that without him, I'd have no father. So I told him, and he simply smiled and told me that he loved all of his kids, no matter what we are or what we do. Then I asked if I could take his last name and he gave me his blessing to do so. I cried that night too.
And I perfectly understand what you're feeling right now. I know my own dad is going to abandon me for this, so when I came out to my stepdad, it was with the nervousness that without him, I'd have no father. So I told him, and he simply smiled and told me that he loved all of his kids, no matter what we are or what we do. Then I asked if I could take his last name and he gave me his blessing to do so. I cried that night too.
Title: Re: Came out to my father.
Post by: Gabby on May 04, 2011, 08:35:38 PM
Post by: Gabby on May 04, 2011, 08:35:38 PM
I'm really happy for you, what a great Dad you have :)
Title: Re: Came out to my father.
Post by: A_Dresden_Doll on May 04, 2011, 08:50:26 PM
Post by: A_Dresden_Doll on May 04, 2011, 08:50:26 PM
I am sorry to hear about your biological father. And I am glad that your step-dad acted more like the genuine article.
This is really big for me. I don't have to hide anymore. I am separating from my wife, and staying with my family, while not ideal, is something that I really need. Now that I don't have to hide from them, it won't feel like hell living with them. Well, not a special hell, just a normal, living-with-family hell. It also means I can afford to take care of transition, catch up on bills, and most importantly, take care of my daughter while doing the other two. It also means I can afford to jump back into school full time come fall.
I can simply start going out and find myself, be myself, and be the best parent for my child. My dad may never know what a huge kindness he paid me. Funny how such a small, silly thing as acceptance can free others around you.
This is really big for me. I don't have to hide anymore. I am separating from my wife, and staying with my family, while not ideal, is something that I really need. Now that I don't have to hide from them, it won't feel like hell living with them. Well, not a special hell, just a normal, living-with-family hell. It also means I can afford to take care of transition, catch up on bills, and most importantly, take care of my daughter while doing the other two. It also means I can afford to jump back into school full time come fall.
I can simply start going out and find myself, be myself, and be the best parent for my child. My dad may never know what a huge kindness he paid me. Funny how such a small, silly thing as acceptance can free others around you.
Title: Re: Came out to my father.
Post by: Janet_Girl on May 04, 2011, 09:15:30 PM
Post by: Janet_Girl on May 04, 2011, 09:15:30 PM
Awesome news. It is always great when family stands in our corner.
Title: Re: Came out to my father.
Post by: hkgurl1480 on May 05, 2011, 06:11:48 AM
Post by: hkgurl1480 on May 05, 2011, 06:11:48 AM
Heres to an awesome dad!!! :P
Title: Re: Came out to my father.
Post by: Cindy on May 05, 2011, 06:38:17 AM
Post by: Cindy on May 05, 2011, 06:38:17 AM
Just lovely, just be a fantastic daughter for him. You both deserve it.
BTW you are a very cute looking lady. How do you pretend to be a guy?
Hugs
Cindy
BTW you are a very cute looking lady. How do you pretend to be a guy?
Hugs
Cindy
Title: Re: Came out to my father.
Post by: A_Dresden_Doll on May 05, 2011, 10:34:25 AM
Post by: A_Dresden_Doll on May 05, 2011, 10:34:25 AM
Quote from: CindyJames on May 05, 2011, 06:38:17 AM
Just lovely, just be a fantastic daughter for him. You both deserve it.
BTW you are a very cute looking lady. How do you pretend to be a guy?
Ha! For a couple good reasons. For one, I am pre-everything. Also, I 6'2, and still weigh 230lbs. My body is in about the most complete dissasociation with my ad it could be. My men would kill for my size and build. I could break necks like twigs, but I'd much rather hug them. So it goes.
And thanks again to everyone for the kind words. If anyone has a positive story about coming out to family, please share it!
Hugs
Cindy
Title: Re: Came out to my father.
Post by: cynthialee on May 05, 2011, 12:15:24 PM
Post by: cynthialee on May 05, 2011, 12:15:24 PM
That is wonderful!
Having your father behind you will be a big boon to your transition.
Also by living at home you can more easily learn the expected gender roles and the intricacies of how they work in your family.
Having your father behind you will be a big boon to your transition.
Also by living at home you can more easily learn the expected gender roles and the intricacies of how they work in your family.