Susan's Place Transgender Resources

is there such a thing as kissing like a boy? i think i do, i'm gentle but firm and very passionate...i asked my m2f girlfreind since we had sex with a strap on for the first time the other night if i was like the real thing and sadly she said no.*is disappointed in self* something about too much grinding and not enough thrusting?? i dont know...it was my first time...i suck....anyways is there a way to project a more male energy in public? she says its as if i hesitate. half the time i'm very male and half the time i'm scared to be???...something like that....i need advice. i dont feel so great.

I have a slight hesitation in public, but it more becouse my gf isnt keen on public affection. she has gotten really better tho. But as far as me, I find that if i feel confedent in how i look or if its a good day in general i come off as male. when we first started dating she told me that i needed more confidence in myself, in regards to just about everything. Down to the way i walk. Turns out instead of walking with her I just kinda followed her. Its becouse i idolized her as the cool kid when i was younger and felt i didnt deserve to be with her. I was a pretty self hateing person, still am sometimes. but its all about the small steps.   As far as kissing like a boy... um Ive only kissed during dares and with my gf. I however constantly feel like im too slopy but she says im a great kisser. first times with anyone is gonna be a little odd. but dont be afraid of getting to know ur partner, ask them what they like, show them what u like. take turns if need be so no one feels singled out.

I dont know if it helped or not but maybe somethin in there made  sense.

thanks brandon.:D

yeah no prob, hope you feel a bit better today

Do you mean how to project male presence in general or at times when you're being affectionate with your girlfriend in public? I don't have much advice on the former, I was never much good at it, but the latter - well, you have one of my ex's to thank for this. She actually told me to be more assertive and more spontaneous (well, what she actually said was "Jesus, you're more of a girl than I am!"). I asked what she meant and she said that the guys she'd been out wth (except for me, lol) were very spontaneous, like... they'd be walking down the street and he'd just pull her close and kiss her, out of the blue. Or put his arm around her and draw her closer. I was usually just passive, and let her do all that. Not because I wasn't interested or anything, it just somehow didn't feel right to take the lead, as it were.

Not sure how much of that is a purely masculine thing and how much a confidence thing, as Brandon says, but yeah.

I don't know if this helps ... but talking with my therapist she said she has noticed I have become more male like the more I have come to terms with being trans & the more I have let people know.  My wife has said that I have seem to come into myself & I am more confident and assured about myself.  I have also noticed I am called sir much more in public.  So, my opinion on things the more you come to accept yourself for who you are the more you will act like the person you are meant to be.   As my therapist said -- most guys go through puberty in high school and look to other males for how to behave ... that I am just going through it later so to not beat myself up over it.  Just be myself.

Let me tell you something.  First time sex is Awful for everybody.  Sexual performance is a skill, not an instinct.  The more you do it, the better you will become.  Just tune into your girlfriend.  Listen to the sounds she is making and the way she is reacting.  Let that guide you in what you do and the way you do it.

In public, if you know you are male, then others will see you as male.  A few months ago I used to be nervous when I bought anything.  I would wonder if the clerk saw me as male or not and I was nervous about hearing pronouns.  Half the time they would get it wrong.  Now that I'm more confident they get it right basically every time.   I know I am a guy and there is no reason to suspect anyone sees me any differently than that. 

thanks guys.

Yeah im with them, act like you are the best male in the world and people will see you as male, just watch for being over cocky ;D    the rest will follow.

i was told the other night i just come off as a common lesbian and although there is nothing wrong with being a lesbian thats not the image i want to project.as far as kissing like a boy they said the rest of me is totally genderqueer....*sigh*

Quote from: Squirrel698 on May 16, 2011, 03:52:20 PM
In public, if you know you are male, then others will see you as male.  A few months ago I used to be nervous when I bought anything.  I would wonder if the clerk saw me as male or not and I was nervous about hearing pronouns.  Half the time they would get it wrong.  Now that I'm more confident they get it right basically every time.   I know I am a guy and there is no reason to suspect anyone sees me any differently than that.

This, infinitely. I passed 100% a few months ago when I was dropping off a painting at the post office, even though I had to use my bank card with my legal name on it.