Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I've had a couple of conversations with people I'm out to, where the topic of having sexual relations comes up.  The questions that were asked were on the order of, "you really want to experience sex as a woman that bad?"

I've explained that, although I want to be sexually capable and enjoy relations (whatever my orientation may be,) I'm not doing this for that.  Having sex as a woman is icing on the cake, I'd probably do this if I could never enjoy sex ever again.

So, with that, what is your deal-breaker?  Would you transition even if you were incapable of orgasm or even of enjoying it to the degree 'average people' (including post-ops) are capable of?

Karen

I chose option C, but only because orgasm is no longer the be all end all that it once was.... while it would be a loss to no longer have that, suffice it to say it's possible to have a good time without it.

Now if your question were what if I couldn't enjoy any kind of sexual intimacy post transition, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaggghhh don't make me choose.... well I couldn't go back so I guess I'd still have to keep going, but wouldn't be too happy with the results. :P (Maybe that's because I'm still young?)

Do I need to answer your question, Karen?  don't my other posts speak for themselves?

Orgasm?  what is that?  you know that I don't give a flying fly about sexual feelings, I never did and I never will. :)

OPTION C ALL THE WAY!!!!!


tinkerbell :icon_chick:

Option C for me.  I almost never have orgasms because I almost never think about sex anymore.  It's honestly not something I really miss all that much as it is now.

Melissa

  I couldn't care less about sex.  While the "urge" does occasionally show itself it's basically a minor annoyance.  I haven't been 'sexual' in 5 years and I don't miss it all. 

I chose C twenty years ago.  I didn't care about that.  It never crossed my mind that it would ever be an issue... and I've been lucky.  It isn't.

Cindi

Heh. The results are quite amusing.
0
0
12
Yep, we are SO in it for the sex.
^*snicker*

I actually find that concept funny as I am far more interested in romance than sex in the first place :P

I chose B, only because there wasnt an actual answer for me....

Pre HRT, pre transition, sex wasnt fun... it was an act, and it didnt last all that long either.....

Post HRt, sex became fantastic... I dont know it it was part of me or something my ex helped ingrane in me... but I finaly learned to enjoy and actualy want it....  Post HRT orgasms... <not necicarily from "IT"> became beyond fantastic.....  Theres way more than one way to skin a cat and she knew every button to press to get me to that point.....

Id be willing to loose alittle in the post opritive area, but only because I realize that theres allot more to sex than stimulation of one specific area.....

PS  Multiples are fun......  specialy if your partner is good enough to make you roll over and BEG not to be touched....    gods I miss those days....  :(

I voted C, but then it's kinda mute now.  I am looking to try it out though :)

Steph

C), I mean geez.. I haven't experienced that in... a year and a half perhaps? And even then, few and far between. I don't miss it.

STILL, part of the problem was not having a physicality I felt comfortable with sexually, or more accurately: sensually. My desires and needs seem to be evolving as I move along, so I'm open to the possibility that my need to explore my sensuality will continue to grow over time.

Kate

Jeez.... I have lost no Sexual function.

BUT it wouldn't have bothered me If I had, transition was about me being a woman and had nothing to do with sex.

OK,wheres the Rampant Rabbit.... :-\

Buffy

Option C, no questions.

Sarah L.

My choice is a no brainer. I opted for C as I'm liveing it. I don't remember how long it has been since I had sex with another person, at least 5-6 years now. I only have my toys that I play with when I'm dilating. I don't miss having sex as a man as much as having intimacy with my wife. I do miss my intimacy with her very much. I think that is what gets me into my depression a lot of the time. I have no one to talk to about this, unless I pay for services. I have no friends.
Sheila

i'll stick with the third option;

QuoteIf I were unable to ever orgasm again, I'd still transition.

Option c, no doubt.

Orgasm? What's that?  :D

Sex is so NOT a part of my life that I really don't care one way or the other.

For a long time, while I was still under the pernicious influence of the testosterone poisoning I would have been agahst at the thought of losing orgasms.

Not any more!

I think the plumbing still works if I wanted it to, somewhat anyway, but why bother?  Orgasms last how long?  And the rest of life lasts how much longer??

Who needs 'em.

Post SRS - if I ever get there?  Who would want an old broad like me anyway? :D

hugs & smiles
helen

I love sex. I loved sex before transition, and I will love sex after GRS. I had to give it up for a while, sure. But this doesn't make me assexual.

I don't know. Transition has made me finally comfortable with my sexual identity. I have a sexuality, and I am not afraid to use it. I find sexual attention from men intoxicating, and I can't wait to have the capacity to act on it.

I am sure that after GRS I will enjoy sex with that magical person I will fall in love with, marry and eventually divorce bitterly.

Bri

Quote from: Brianna on February 02, 2007, 05:15:37 PM
I love sex. I loved sex before transition, and I will love sex after GRS. I had to give it up for a while, sure. But this doesn't make me assexual.

I don't know. Transition has made me finally comfortable with my sexual identity. I have a sexuality, and I am not afraid to use it. I find sexual attention from men intoxicating, and I can't wait to have the capacity to act on it.

I am sure that after GRS I will enjoy sex with that magical person I will fall in love with, marry and eventually divorce bitterly.

Bri

That tells me that you are NOT..........................................




.......................................................................................kidding! >:D


tinkerbell :icon_chick:

I don't really know. I never really had much of an interest in sex, but if I could experience it in the right body, it might actually feel right. As it is, I think that male sex is overrated, and I don't think I'd miss it at all.

Kind of my point to my questioners -- it ain't about sex, it's about being your true gender (or being true to your gender...)

For those who haven't voted, keep voting.  ;D

Karen

I would say yes. I would transition even if I could never enjoy sex normally as a woman. I dont really enjoy sex now. I think I am at a lull in terms of sex drive. It's dropped off sharply in the past year. It doesnt matter to me its more of being the gender I want to be in. I certainly would want to have the capability but it's not a priority. So option c for me..

Linda Ann

Love being female :angel:

Quote from: HelenW on February 02, 2007, 05:05:23 PMOrgasms last how long?  And the rest of life lasts how much longer??

Good point right there! :)

  I would transition even if the only result were having to keep male genitalia or having non-existant genitalia.  If transition were a 'Jetsons' style booth that you entered one side as your birth sex and exited the other side physically matched to your true gender but without genitalia then I would still gladly do it. 

  It was never about the sex and SRS is simply, as someone else mentioned, icing on the cake.  Do I look forward to sex after SRS? Yes but much like I look forward to someday seeing the whales in Alaska or taking a cruise.  I look forward to the 'experience' of these things because they are new to me and I feel like I would enjoy them.  If I never get to see the whales or take a cruise it doesn't affect the other aspects of my life although I may hold a little sadness for not getting to experience such things. 

 

I think there was a time when I was much younger and still trying to understand myself, that sexual function and satisfaction may have been a concern. As I've gotten older and learned more about myself, I've known for many years now that there is no question remaining that I would choose C, without regret. I enjoy sex very much, but it's not nearly as important as my identity.

Steph

Honestly, I'm caught between A and B, and frankly baffled that no one else has this issue. Sex was never anything to me... and yet, now it is. I have a wife, and sex is enjoyable as well as the best way to get physically closer to her. No, orgasms are not everything. However, they're a good perk, and if you don't have an orgasm, do you know you're even experiencing enough sensation to be satisfied at all by sex? I may be in an entirely different realm from others, being that I am FtM and SRS is considerably less successful; however, I know that my genitals do not make me a man; who I am does. If I have to reconcile myself to not having a natural bulge in my pants in exchange for physical pleasure with the girl I love most, I'm game.

Dean

I voted option 3 as well.

I definitely would be disappointed if after surgery I never get to experience an orgasm as a woman, but it's not enough of an issue to make me stop and think about whether or not it's something I really want. I want to be comfortable with the body that I have, and I want to be legally recognised as female. Both are much more important to me than being able to reach orgasm.

That being said, GRS is still a long way off for me, so how I feel may change over time. Considering how much of a non-issue for me it is at the moment though, I can't se that hapening any time soon.

Option 3.  No question, no hesitation.  As others have said, this is about being true to yourself, not orgasms. 

Not being true to myself very nearly killed me.  Being true to myself is more important than physical feeling.

-Sandy

I did choose option C. I do love sex, and fortuantly I'm able to get orgasm, but even if I could'nt get them, I would still have taken C, and still love sex. It feels good to me just to be with a man, the orgasm is just an added bonus, if it happens, but its not at all nesscary for me to feel satsified and fullfilled.

-pass-

 If I were unable to ever orgasm again, I'd still transition.

Quote from: Hazumu on February 01, 2007, 11:11:17 PM
I've had a couple of conversations with people I'm out to, where the topic of having sexual relations comes up.  The questions that were asked were on the order of, "you really want to experience sex as a woman that bad?"

I've explained that, although I want to be sexually capable and enjoy relations (whatever my orientation may be,) I'm not doing this for that.  Having sex as a woman is icing on the cake, I'd probably do this if I could never enjoy sex ever again.

So, with that, what is your deal-breaker?  Would you transition even if you were incapable of orgasm or even of enjoying it to the degree 'average people' (including post-ops) are capable of?

Karen

I wouldnt transition as in a body fact, if I would be unable to orgasm.
one of the reasons I dont want bottom surgery are cause im unsure on that point,
however I do claim my own image to be more important than sexual plesure.
I did get top surgery even thou I might lose some sensation in my nippels, which had been some really sensetive spots of me,
so you could say I already had sacrificed alittle of myself sexually for that, but I wouldnt do it fully cause.... well i'm a pervert