Susan's Place Transgender Resources

This is a serious question.

On rare occasions, I wake up and have no dysphoria. I find it really weird, seeing as how most of the time, I have really bad dysphoria. I've woken up some mornings without dysphoria and even sometimes feel somewhat female (this is also extremely rare for me), but it fades and I'll get more dysphoric throughout the day.

I don't understand this. It's really weird. My dysphoria does tend to do this though, where for a few weeks it'll be severe and extremely bad and I can't leave my room, and then I'll have slight dysphoria, and then no dysphoria, then it kicks back up again (not necessarily in that order or time period.)

For me, the only time that I get extreme dysphoria is when I shower or go swimming. I have a pool in my backyard and can wear what I want in it, but I just dislike the whole concept of both the pool and shower. It brings out, shows off, all the things I can simply ignore when I have clothes on. It's gotten to the point that I see myself as me when I look in the mirror after a year or two of T, that is with clothes on anyway. So I'm happy, for the most part. I'm comfortable being me, there are times were the dysphoria will come on and I will start to think about how people would react at work if they knew, as I've been working there solely as a male for 2 years now. Or just the limitations and imperfections that I will always have.

There is no magic word, or magic, or genies, or even a good enough surgery for us to really complete our change. Even then, we can't have kids because we just aren't hardwired to be so. I always wonder what it'd be like to see through the eyes of the biomale, but at the same time. I like me, for the most part. I've grown to accept me, for my quirks and problems and imperfections. I think that's the biggest key in getting over our fluctuating dysphoria.

I have from time to time a few days when everything looks fine and I have doubts if want to do all this hard steps to be who I am inside. But then it strikes again much stronger and I know I must to do it.

When I'm alone, topless in my own bedroom. That's when nothing really bothers me.

I've noticed my dysphoria gets worse as the day goes on too.  And it comes and goes depending on what's going on.  I wouldn't worry about it.   :)

Mine also gets worse as the day goes on.   

When I'm home with my best friends, or most of my family. They're getting better about pronouns so it's like they're saying, indirectly, "Those big things on your chest don't matter anymore, I see through them" and that means a hell of a lot.

Kind of odd, but I don't feel dysphoric at ALL during sex, at least with Ben. I'm just too happy to be with him to even be thinking, and he's so good about not touching my chest or anything, it's nice. It's really effing nice.

I've had days like Alex and jmax's, but it's totally sporadic. I've gotten to the point now where most of the time, I can look in the mirror and not want to break it anymore. I stopped seeing myself as anything but a guy a while ago, and it's helped so damn much. The times that are the absolute worst, for me, are trying to get ready to go out somewhere, even if it's just the grocery store. I watch Ben run into his closet and run back out dressed, comfortable as hell, and then it takes me 20 minutes to get into two binders and layer up, just to throw a hoodie over it. That's when it's the absolute worst.

Usually I'm not dysphoric until I have to go out in public. Otherwise nothing really bothers me too much. I never bind around my family members, and can be naked in my room or the shower without it being a big deal. It's just when I have to actually pay attention to my body that it gets bad. So yeah, usually that means any time I go out, or just if I think about it too hard and start comparing myself to cis men, which does occasionally happen in the comfort of my own room.

My dysphoria waxes and wanes depending on context and other factors, so there are times I feel fine. I really like the mirror in my dorm room, it cuts off just above my chest, and it's a good place for me to work on being okay with the image I see pre transition.

I feel great after sprinting a few 50 m fly's. I feel powerful and masculine, and I can focus on my muscles rather than aspects that normally cause me dysphoria. When I shower after a good swimming set, I feel the best about my body unclothed. I can even frame my chest in a masculine/male way at those times.

My dysphoria increases depending on the degree to which I am forced into feminine behavior. My parents used to force me to wear female clothes/ 'stop acting male' (walking, talking, ext) when we went to any significant event or family gathering. Also, I could not opt not to go. These were the periods in which my dysphoria was intense and unbearable.

I love to be shirtless, I'm just that kinda guy. Once I get top surgery, people will have to catch me like a lil kid if they want me to put one back on XD but I like sitting around in my binder. I still have the dysphoria, but it is lessened immensely by when people regard me as male and ignore my obvious flaws when doing so. When I'm alone... well, I'm used to myself so I don't really think about it too much.

Quote from: James-Allen on May 23, 2011, 11:48:04 PM
I love to be shirtless, I'm just that kinda guy. Once I get top surgery, people will have to catch me like a lil kid if they want me to put one back on XD

Oh, man, I hear ya on that!  I can't wait to run around shirtless!

Short answer- no.  The dysphoria never completely goes away.

When I'm with my friends, who all use male pronouns and my preferred name, then the dysphoria lessens. When I sleep, it also lessens, but then it comes back to hit me in the morning, extra hard.

Periods and when my exes tried to touch me as a female are the only thing that make me dysphoric. Some things piss me off but don't make me feel dysphoric.

Usually I have no dysphoria. I daydream about transitioning, but no dysphoria.

At times I just stress out, like today.

When I'm distracted, I don't feel the dysphoria. So I like to stay busy, and I can now because I can actually focus. There was a time, just a couple of years ago, when I literally could not focus on grading or prep or reading or even a movie for more than a few minutes at a time. Even when I went out to the movies with my ex, I would find my attention drifting, and I had an outrageously strong desire to get up and pace, right there in the theater.

I have less dysphoria overall than I used to feel, but once I started "passing," I began to have lots of bottom dysphoria. But it doesn't rule my life. When I'm not distracted, there are times now when I feel pretty philosophical about my bottom parts and am less dysphoric than other times. So the dysphoria waxes and wanes. It always comes back, though.

So I guess it's getting better. I'm grateful for my top surgery and for the changes that T has worked on my voice, my body, and my mind. But I am still mourning the loss of the bottom parts I used to have in my imagination.

i take a long while to fall asleep no matter how tired i am because of my chest being RIGHT THERE under my face. or i turn to my side and my arms are on them. i never think about my actual body when at work, whether busy or not, just hate constantly being called the wrong pronouns and name there. and home. I'll tell you when I'm NOT dysphoric like you asked...uh....can't say whenever changing or showering that's when it's the worst. i guess if I'm busy or distracted enough whether at work, or home, drawing, painting, playing video games that's when I'm not.

before i fall asleep like Noah said, and when its hot and i really REALLY wanna take my shirt off....other than that i'm a very logical person so i see no point in getting upset....i get depressed instead. :(

When I stay busy I am fine, so that is what I try to do.  My dysphoria is the worst for about 2 days each month, when I get those lower belly pain continously for a day and then have to change  tampons every 2-4 hrs for a day.  How can you have this happening to you and have dysphoria.  I shower and get dress quickly so not usually a problem.  Once and while when I pull down my jeans and sit to pee, I get that way as thinking if I had the right parts I could stand and pee.

When, despite completely looking like a woman, I am still treated as and seen as a man. Then I don't have dysphoria.