Susan's Place Transgender Resources

I totally screwed my back up and got sent home on comp today.  The throes of painkiller sprees tend to cause the biggest leaps forward in my life, (a bike wreck and a ton of Oxycontin caused me to begin my transition - best thing that ever happened to me) so naturally I decided to compose my coming out letter to HR this evening.  Opinions, praise, and criticism all very welcome.  Thanks in advance for taking the time to read and respond.  :-)

To Whom It May Concern:

After over a decade of soul searching, I've finally made a very difficult decision.  Luckily, the decision was made much easier by the hard-earned success of several prominent individuals who have also made the same leap including Senior Technical Advisor to the Department of Commerce Amanda Simpson, Houston municipal court judge Phyllis Frye, co-creator of The Matrix trilogy Lana Wachowski, police officers in the cities of Richardson, Dallas, and Fort Worth, and at least one employee of Dallas Area Rapid Transit just to name a few.

My earliest memory of feeling different came about at the age of seven.  It's taken quite some time to come to terms with myself and my condition, but I'm finally prepared to make it right.  In the pursuit of transitioning from male to female, I've attended a multitude of sessions with a gender therapist to confirm the legitimacy of my feelings, I've spent quite a bit of money on permanent beard removal, and I have been on cross-gender hormone therapy since April of 2010.  I'll be having my first round of surgery in December of this year, after which it'll likely be impossible to pass myself off as Patrick anymore, thus necessitating this "coming out" correspondence.  Since September of 2010, I've been known as Jessica, Jess, or Jessie to my friends and loved ones, only assuming the role of Patrick in the scope of my employment.  I've begun the process of legally changing my name as of April 25th.

In support of my transition, I'd like to mention the observation of Traffic/Transportation Supervisor Robby Ortiz.  We had a lengthy discussion about my dramatically improved attitude and general wellbeing during my last performance evaluation he oversaw in October of 2010 before his retirement.  (As an aside, my lifelong battle with suicidal depression suddenly ended when I began this process.)  Granted, Robby was unaware of the specific reason behind my newfound exuberance with life, but it was clearly palpable.  The physical changes initiated by hormone therapy were a concern initially, but I've managed to maintain and even improve my job performance in spite of an overall reduction in muscle mass through a "work smarter, not harder" methodology.  My co-workers will surely vouch for my reliability and dependability as an employee of the city.  I arrive early every day, minimize my off time, and gladly accept every opportunity to work overtime.  If anything, my gender transition has been a positive influence on my employment with the municipality so far.

In my personal life, my relationship with my girlfriend of five years is flourishing.  My brother replied to the news with the comical question, "So that's what's been wrong with you all this time?"  He asserts that I'm a much more pleasant person than I used to be.  I've been graciously accepted by my friends, including more than a few rough and tumble bikers, much to my surprise.  Socializing is much easier and feels far more natural than it ever has before.

I'm very open about my experience with one person on my crew and another has managed to deduce what I'm doing, but for the most part, I believe the remainder of the people I work with on a daily basis simply think I'm gay.  I'm treated with the same degree of respect as anyone else in my department and it hasn't presented an issue at all.  My hope is that this remains the case after my condition and the associated treatment become common knowledge at work.  I hope to enlist the assistance of human resources in streamlining my on-the-job transition and resolving any issues or conflicts that may arise.

I require very little in terms of clerical adjustments.  A new employee ID will need to be issued.  My name will need to be changed and the gender marker updated in my employment records and on associated documents.  TMRS will need to be notified, and my beneficiaries should probably be updated.

My primary concern is appropriate bathroom usage.  The building that houses our operations has one community restroom and no single-use restroom that I'm aware of.  The community restroom is frequented almost exclusively by men and one of our sign fabricators took it upon himself to post "MEN'S BATHROOM" on the only access from our side of the building last year.  In my opinion, the restroom's configuration provides more than adequate privacy for usage by anyone, but the proper solution to this issue would most likely weigh the feelings of other employees who use this restroom as well.  What I'm doing is bound to challenge some people's sensibilities, so it's very important to me to avoid making anyone more uncomfortable than necessary.

Outside of that, existing policies adequately cover any interpersonal difficulties that may arise on the job.  Respect is a hallmark of the leadership model and existing harassment prevention training is broad enough to imply protection of gender identity.  I enjoy being a productive member of the city's workforce and desire nothing more than to continue to do so without the burden of portraying myself as something I'm not.  I would be thrilled to assist human resources in any way with ensuring this process happens as smoothly as possible, and I'll be extremely grateful for their assistance in doing so.

Thank You,

Me!

I think that there is much, too much detail there.

I think that the minimal points that need to be made:

• That you are a male-to-female transsexual
• That your name has legally been changed
• That you will be dressing as a woman, consistent with company policy
• That you are willing to discuss present or future problems

I would avoid bringing up the bathroom issue at this point.

Thanks for the reality check, ladies.  I think I got carried away with trying to express the necessity of my transition and how much better off I am for it.  I also wanted to touch base on everything that seemed relevant as briefly as possible to avoid having to discuss it too much in person.  Regardless of how I feel about it, when it comes to openly discussing transition with human resources, I'm almost certainly going to be a tongue tied bundle of nerves.  No amount of preparation will change that.

I don't know that I kept any copies of what was distributed through the agency I worked for at the time(or more importantly, I have no idea where I might have put them), but I did not go into anywhere near that level of detail.  I outlined some rough sketches, gave some timelines and left it as a matter where, for a period of time, I was open to answering reasonable questions about certain components of my medical condition. 

In retrospect, the one thing I would have done differently is to have discretely numbered them so that I knew who leaked the memo to the press (I know it went to a couple of papers, one of whom I did grant an interview to after I was back in the office for about a month).  And no, that interview is not online anywhere to the best of my knowledge because it was in the age before the interwebz and Googles took over... ;)

Well, it sounds like you were/are more important than I've ever managed to be.  I've allowed myself to languish on the bottom rung of underemployment because the job market hasn't looked good in years.  I suppose the perk there is that there's very limited public interest in a trans girl whose most important decision on any given day is whether to have Red Bull or Rockstar with breakfast.

The common thread in these responses is a suggestion to be very short and concise.  I'll work on that.  It looks like another start from scratch is in order.