Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Kia Ora,

::) Just out of interest how many members here are actually living 24/7 in their "affirmed" gender?  :icon_chick:  :icon_mrhappy:

What I mean by this [so as not to confuse anybody] even if you're still waiting on GRS you "no longer revert back into your old  "birth sex" mode. In other words you're so far out you'd need the hubble  telescope to find your way back to the closet... :icon_yes:

::) Well it's "D" day for me  :icon_yikes: [well evening actually] so I'll bid you all good night.....


Metta Zenda :)   

The final step was in March of '09 but in June of '08 it became pretty hard to go back into the closet.  That's when I had BA.  Kinda hard to hide.  But once I came out at work two months earlier, that sealed the deal.  I would have had to move and start a new life if I wanted to go back into the closet after that.

I have yet to take that final step.  :'(  But I have been 24/7 since Sept 13, 2008.  I had a full time job for a year and now I am in school.  No one knows my past, save a select few.

I selected "I've completed my metamorphosis" because I got hormones, got the surgery, and got the full time presenting even though I still haven't legally changed my name.  Hopefully this is not outside your intent for this answer.

Pretty much as far as I can go at this point without surgeries.  I'm full time, on hormones (almost 6 months), out to everybody I've ever known and with whom I still have contact, and am leaving in half an hour to get the legal order for my name change from the courthouse.

This means the rest of my morning will be spent in the Social Security office.  And next week, the DMV!  Oh joy... :laugh:

HRT finally obtained early 90's, birth defect corrected mid-90's...living life since then without significant incident.  All college records are in the correct name. 

Soc Sec records were actually updated circa '87...it was a much simpler era then. 

I chose other because I think it's a bit different with FtMs.  I am about as male as I can be appearance wise without hormones or surgeries, but I don't think I'd count as being very far along.  Everyone still knows me as female, so although physically I pass as male from time to time there have been no social changes.  I think that because girls are given a wider range of "socially acceptable" gender expression, FtMs can reach a greater level of comfort without other people taking interest. 

Outside of work I am Cyndi to everyone :)

Kia Ora and good morning from me,

Thanks folks for your responses so far...

::) Well I guess for some of us when we complete our metamorphosis we pop out of one cocoon and into another [out of one closet and back into one we call stealth or in my cast semi-stealth]...

Kia Ora Lee,

Yes it's true pre-everything F2Ms do have the luxury of gender expression without the public backlash...

I realise after I posted last night [Kiwi time] my "It's "D" day  :icon_yikes: !" comment  might have sounded like it was my "coming out" evening...However no, it's just what I call my post op ongoing once a week "you know what" maintenance...

Metta Zenda :)

I haven't been on hormones very long, been getting laser/electro since January, but I'm Colleen to everyone, I dress as you see in my avatar at work and everywhere.  I selected the first answer even though my ACTUAL metamorphosis is still in early stages and ongoing, but it would take an army to get me back in the closet...

Quote from: Zenda on June 10, 2011, 03:45:02 PM
::) Well I guess for some of us when we complete our metamorphosis we pop out of one cocoon and into another [out of one closet and back into one we call stealth or in my cast semi-stealth]...

Stealth is NOT the evil thing some make it out to be.  Some of us simply chose to live our lives without labels attached to us beyond those we CHOOSE.  In my case, I CHOOSE not to have a trans-anything label applied to me...after all, I previously had a medical condition that has been remedied.  The 'trans' label no longer describes me in an accurate manner...so stealth works in my life.

been living as my real self for over 13 months now and I wish I'd done it 30 years ago because I'm just so much more at ease with myself now I'm out, still a long way to go though as I still have the nightmare down there but at least I can face life as my honest self now and not be contantly pretending to be something I'm not, and my profile picture is taken from when I was in London as part of a march of half a million people who all saw me in my fab black dress :)

I put "most of the time."  Other than Work, and Family that I rarely see, I'm out and about as me the rest of the time...have been for 11 months now.  Coming out though?  Hrmm...still need some time for that I guess....at the very least, it's going to be...interesting. 

Quote from: Ann Onymous on June 11, 2011, 08:13:35 AM
Stealth is NOT the evil thing some make it out to be.  Some of us simply chose to live our lives without labels attached to us beyond those we CHOOSE.  In my case, I CHOOSE not to have a trans-anything label applied to me...after all, I previously had a medical condition that has been remedied.  The 'trans' label no longer describes me in an accurate manner...so stealth works in my life.

Kia Ora Ann,

::) I understand where you're coming from re the stealth thing...I don't find anything wrong with people choosing to go stealth after they have transitioned... After all that was the idea in the first place for many[including mystealth  ;) ;D ], that is to be seen and treated as ones newly acquired public identity with no trans label attached...

However it is still in a sense like popping out of one closet[telling the world "Hey this is the real me!" male/female] and then into another goes ones old birth sex identity...In some cases deep stealth is the only "safe" option for those who live in an hostile environment where their life could be at risk if their past was known...

Whatever "safely" turns one on I guess...

Metta Zenda :) 

Kia Ora,

::) And thank you to those who have selected so far...

It would seem the vast majority are out and about 24/7...Whilst others are still in the process of eating their way out of their cocoons...However, no rush, take your time, enjoy the moment !

Metta Zenda :)

Quote from: Princess Rachel on June 12, 2011, 01:29:46 AM
been living as my real self for over 13 months now and I wish I'd done it 30 years ago because I'm just so much more at ease with myself now I'm out, still a long way to go though as I still have the nightmare down there but at least I can face life as my honest self now and not be contantly pretending to be something I'm not, and my profile picture is taken from when I was in London as part of a march of half a million people who all saw me in my fab black dress :)

Kia Ora Princess Rach,

::) Cor Blimey ! You're not another bloody Cockney ar ya?  ;) ;D

Metta Zenda  :)

I'm not out at work but I think it's become coming a joke as a number of my colleagues have met me and been out with me.

But I live a complicated life :laugh: Don't we all.

Cindy

Once my name change went through there was no going back, so I came out via letter to all the people I had worked with to prevent any confusion if we met.
I had only retired a fortnight before so it all happened a bit quick.  I had been told the new Birth Cert would take about four weeks, but it only took one.  Fast bureacracy????
Karen. 

I've been living full time about a year and a half and am recently post-op.  I no longer feel any of the mental anxieties I used to constantly feel for all my life. 

     I'm far too well established and known in my town to be able to call myself "stealth".  However, I share Ann's position in that I no longer consider myself to be "trans-anything", I am a woman. 

     I don't bring up my past when I meet someone new.  I am simply Joyce, another woman out of millions in the world. 

     I have moved on and have other priorities and goals to address in my life.  I have lots to do, no more time for being trans...

     The most important thing for those either seeking or in transition to understand is that SRS doesn't represent the end of the journey, it's just another marker on the road, like HRT, RLE or seeing a GT.  You must have other goals and relationships in your life for it to have maximum meaning to you.  Otherwise, you can wake up after surgery and say to yourself, Great, I'm a girl.  Now what?

     Further, you must be ready and able to accept being discriminated against at times because of your trans status.  Don't despair, many groups get discriminated against for a lot of reasons.  For this reason, I believe it's important to be able to let it slide off when it happens and not to dwell on it.  So what?

im not sure if i can be considered to have completed my metamorphosis since i've been living as a girl for more than 2 1/2 years, though i'm still pre-op and yet to decide on whether to have surgery eventually. to most of my friends in college i'm just another girl, and my family and boyfriend sees me as a girl and nothing else. for old friends who know of my past, some of them come to terms of having a new girl friend arnd, while those who tot i was weird dont talk to me anymore and i wish they dont come bk into my life either.

i guess there's more in life to worry abt than wondering whether anyone would figure i wasn't born a girl somehow.

I really am not sure  ???
I can not tell what I am and when I am so.

Completed metamorphosis.

To be honest, I'm not sure where I fit in this journey. I present fairly neutrally... girl's clothes all the time, but while they would look feminine on a guy, my present clothes are not so removed from the male wardrobe as to be exclusively female... I pass some of the time - though I cannot accurately gauge just how often some of the time happens to be - and I don't use male things anymore, such as washrooms, dressing rooms and the like.

It's kind of like full-time, minus the legal name change, clothing I like, and the fact that I'm not working or studying at the present moment. I'm not sure what to consider it!

I'm nearing full-time, though - just as soooon as September rolls around...

I have been full time over 2 years, my name change and all documentation for 19 months and recently post op.

I work and live in the city i grew up in, i tell only those that need to know, two years ago i transitioned on 2 of my bowling leagues, no way to be stealth there since they all knew me, i guess you could say in some ways i am stealth and in others i am not.

Paula

The longer you present, the more comfortable you are doing so...

presenting as genuine a fugure as possible will help....