honestly.. its very inconvenient. I know top surgery is a while away, and I have a generally bold confident personality, when I am alone I am shirtless all the time, I know I have (them) but my mind easily blocks them out.
but around other people, its impossible/ very hard for me to be shirtless, how can I get myself to be more comfortable being shirtless around other people (obviously close friends etc, who wouldnt mind or feel awkward)
Get drunk first.
Um seriously though? I don't know, I mean I personally would never do it but I think the only way to get comfortable is to get really uncomfortable by just doing it and seeing that those around you don't really react strangely to it. I mean I think this is brave on it's own to even consider. I freaked out when a friend of mine would even just accidently bump their hand into my chest...while wearing a shirt. Perhaps go binderless first? Like no binder under your shirt and build your way up to it. Honestly I don't really got good advice on this since I've never done it, but good luck figuring it out, hope you find a way to get past it and feel comfortable enough.
haha im SURE getting drunk would help hahaha, ive pee'd using an stp outside over a balcony once while wasted.. O-o
i already do the binderless with a shirt thing around friends.. cause i hate being uncomfortable (dont bind if i dont have to)
and I have been around a friend shirtless with my hands covering/ pressing down the.. gross mounds
I personally can't do it drunk either xD. I can be pantsless, but not shirtless! D: I'd personally start with the person you feel most comfortable with. For me, it's my boyfriend who prefers naked sex :'P. I'm working on it. So far, it's up to half an hour of shirtless on a good day. I also wouldn't force it too much, I stop when it feels way too uncomfortable.
I worked up to it by living in a dorm with no air conditioning this past spring quarter. As in to say, only heat stroke could get me to be shirtless all the time in front of my SO. Out of necessity, I am sometimes able to mentally frame my chest as a male chest. I found that, for me, the fact that it is legally and socially taboo for me to be shirtless adds to my dysphoria. And so, me being able to be shirtless and it not be a big social deal has been good. I'm only that comfortable with my SO though, because I know she always sees me as male regardless of my chest. Of course, sometimes I hate my chest enough to wear a binder even in the dorm on a hot day, so it's hit or miss depending on the dysphoria forecast for the day. I realize that I am more okay with my chest more often than most guys though, so this is just my own experience.
So I guess my advice would be to ease into it with trusted friends you know always fully respect your identity, focus on how manly it is for it to be socially acceptable for you to be topless, and to have an "escape plan" if it's too uncomfortable. If you aren't comfortable with it though in any context, maybe you shouldn't force yourself.
Quote from: Mika on June 12, 2011, 01:08:44 AM
the fact that it is legally and socially taboo for me to be shirtless adds to my dysphoria.
yes, same here.. thats why for the most part, and due to my dissociation i am able to be shirtless when i am alone and not have it bother me.. in fact i feel more reminded of my chest when i am wearing a t shirt, a tighter one, because i can feel and see that the shirt isnt laying right
I couldn't do it pre-top surgery but have done it in my yard >1yr post top surgery. I did read an account of a guy with large ones who went topless while doing roofing work at this house. He had been on T for a while and also had a very hairy chest and was a larger guy; nobody thought much about it apparently.
Small hairless skinny guy with more F looking lumps is harder; that said my son has little moobs also (young teen, slightly husky).
You can just practice alone. I had the same issue sleeping naked. Could NOT do it pre-lower surgery, though I tried (sleep alone).
Jay
If you are around people that accept you and won't stare its easy.
I was at my friend's this weekend and we were out on the deck and so most the my friends had their shirts off. (1 guy and 1 girl) and they asked me why I didn't remove mine. They said I could if I felt comfortable with it (they know and are respectful of m being trans) so I just hung out in a sport bra. I don't really have chest dysphoria since I am small but it was akward at first but I did like it.
Quote from: Mr.Rainey on June 12, 2011, 05:18:19 PM
If you are around people that accept you and won't stare its easy.
I was at my friend's this weekend and we were out on the deck and so most the my friends had their shirts off. (1 guy and 1 girl) and they asked me why I didn't remove mine. They said I could if I felt comfortable with it (they know and are respectful of m being trans) so I just hung out in a sport bra. I don't really have chest dysphoria since I am small but it was akward at first but I did like it.
Man, I wish my mind worked like yours. I'm uncomfortable around my boyfriend being shirtless, even though he's amazing about it. I'm opposite though, it's kind of hard to avoid/hide mine because they're effing huge. I've taken to sleeping shirtless when I'm alone though, on my stomach so I don't feel them. It makes me kinda happy, even if I do wake up in the morning mildly disgusted.
for me it's not so much the look of them but the feel of them that grosses me out. Say I lean forward without a binder/bra, even with a shirt on, I can just feel them dangling and it's like eugh. Exercising, they flail around. Hell even just sitting around, they're so big that I can just feel two horrible slabs of fat sitting on my chest. I've found putting talc all over the chest area makes that a little better, so I don't get the mingy boob sweat feeling underneath them. I could never just hang out with friends shirtless though, I do around my SO on rare occasions. If they were smaller I think I might be able to deal with it better. If I was shirtless at the minute I'd feel too "porn star" :P
Maybe at first you could wear just a flesh coloured crop top? so you pretty much look shirtless but you're not going the whole hog.
I agree, Jeatyn, leaning forward with no bra/binder and feeling them gangling and moving around gets to me. Even thou they are fairly tight you can still feel them moving.
I know the feeling. I live with two girls and a guy, and I have to constantly remind myself to put on a shirt before going out of my room. It would be nice to not worry about it.
I agree with finding someone else who is cool about it and who won't make you feel awkward. The only time I have been really okay with it was when a friend who was staying with me got out of the shower and decided to do some work naked in my room. I found her like that when I got out of the shower, and she just asked if I minded her being naked because she liked to work that way. I had no objections ( :angel:), so we hung out naked for a while. Because she was so comfortable with it, it helped me not feel awkward. However, if it were just a group of guys hanging out shirtless, I don't think I would have the nerve because I get the feeling they would make me feel self-conscious about my chest.
Quote from: N.Chaos on June 13, 2011, 02:11:08 AM
Man, I wish my mind worked like yours. I'm uncomfortable around my boyfriend being shirtless, even though he's amazing about it. I'm opposite though, it's kind of hard to avoid/hide mine because they're effing huge. I've taken to sleeping shirtless when I'm alone though, on my stomach so I don't feel them. It makes me kinda happy, even if I do wake up in the morning mildly disgusted.
Just think of it as gynomastesia (sp) and also chubby dudes have moobs. I just let it go and keep my mind within that frame because they are not breasts, because women have breasts. I am not a woman. I have a chest with gynomastesia and thats the bottom line there.