Since looking into Transmen and Transwomen on here, Youtube ect. I've seen that a lot of pre-op and pre-T people use a name that's correct to their transitional gender instead of their physical one (duh...) , and I was wondering how you would go about choosing one. Was it one you've always called yourself, or did you pick a name that was similar to your name and chose the male/female option of it?
As you can probably guess, I don't have one yet, and so any suggestions on how i'd go about choosing a name that i'm both comfortable with and yet is a change from my Female name (ie. I don't like the idea of identifying as Joe, since it's too close to my Female name).
I'd love to hear your experiences in choosing a trans-name, i'm really stuck on this one xD
Listen to your dreams/heart.
Some choose the opposite-sex variant of their birth names, some pick other names that have meaning to them, some go into uncharted territory. It's all very personal! ;D
In my own experience, I ran across the name Zoë when I was 7 and that's what I called myself in my head ever since. A friend of mine swears I let that slip once while we were in high school, but I don't remember... as far as I know, it wasn't anything I told anyone until I came out in February. I saw the name while my mom and I were on vacation in California, just a week after I nearly drowned in the ocean and after three blissful weeks away from my dad's house (and my severely abusive stepmother).
The name Natasha came a couple years later when (believe it or not) I first saw Rocky and Bullwinkle on cable TV. :laugh: Natasha was that refined, dark, and slightly twisted woman I imagined myself growing up to be.
Like Zoë said, it is entirely up to you how you choose your name. Just make sure it is something that you will be happy to live with for the rest of your life.
When I chose my name I wanted something that started with the letter A because my male name also did. I always admired the character Abbey Sciuto from NCIS for her style and that is what partially drove me to my name. I chose to spell it Abbey because I liked how it was different and as a homage to The Beatles. I still haven't chosen a middle name but I have been thinking about Cass.
Here is the tsroadmap guide to names, one important thing it points out is to try and pick something that will somewhat fit in, in particular avoid stripper names like Candy, Luscious and all those other ridiculous names.
http://www.tsroadmap.com/reality/nameindex.html (http://www.tsroadmap.com/reality/nameindex.html)
A very rough rule of thumb. Choose a name appropriate for your birth age. Choose a name that is relatively common, otherwise you stand out and get silly questions.
I have called myself Cindy since I was nine, named after a rival doll to Barbie, called----Cindy. My sister had one and I kept stealing it.
Also something easy to pronounce and spell. If your surname is Head, don't call yourself Richard.
Common sense :laugh:
Cindy
I've always gone by Donnie, but its only a nickname. I changed my first name to the female version of my birth one. But choose the middle and last ones sort of randomly. Just names that I liked, I poured over baby name sites for ages. I'm not committed to the middle name I have chosen, and you could say I am sort of testing it out to see how it fits. I've seen other people go to their parents and ask what they would have been named if they were born the opposite sex, and allow their parents to name them again.
Remember, don't commit too early because you want something for someone to call you that better fits your identity. I've seen many trans people regretting the name they choose, but felt it was too late to change it because people were already calling them by their new name.
You can name yourself anything you want. The only real warning I would give is this, It's easy to get a legal name change done once. the second time they put you through the wringer because they assume you are up to no good. (At least in the U.S. that's the way it works) So choose something you are going to okay with having in all walks of life and for the rest of your life.
I always liked the name my parents would have given me so I didn't really think about it much at the beginning. I never really looked for other names, there were other names I liked but I wasn't sure at that time. A few years ago somebody was looking for a coworker and she started shouting her name(one of the names I liked), and I almost replied to her instinctively, but I realized what I'm doing and just pretended that I didn't say anything. From that moment that name is my middle name :)
I made a suggestions which came from my dad... my friends hated it and I asked them for a list of names they'd suggest.
A few names came up repeatedly using my power of veto to pick the one I liked the most that came up on alot of peoples lists I picked Alice. Apparently it fits me.
Mine came from a movie of all things. I love The Rocky Horror Picture Show and Susan Sarandon. SO I took Janet from her character in that movie.
Later I found out it is a feminine version of my old <male name>.
Actually had looked at baby name sites lol. I knew wanted to keep my intials and was thinking an irish first name. Aiden had popped out at me almost immediately, it was of irish origin but a more modern varient of Aodh/Aodhan the name meaning to being little fire was almost fitting in a way to lol. I later spoke to my mother and old her the name and she claimed that was what she thought about calling me if had been a boy. (of course I am but I get what she means, and not an easy thing for any parent to handle I imagine). The middle name though I had picked one liked but wasn't entirely satisfied for how it sounded with the first and last name. I kept looking over the past year or so and just recently settled on one, of course interestingly my mother helped again there. She still has hard time calling me by Aiden but feel lucky she still tries to be supportive even if she don;t understand it entirely.
Of course fact we live several states away from each other probably helps in keeping the name thing from being much an issue in public.
I guess I was lucky because I heard a name when I was 4 or 5 that I thought was the prettiest girl's name ever so I took it as mine. That's 57 years ago now LOL!
When my birth mother told me what she was going to name me, I told her I was glad she put me up for adoption because I HATED that name! ;)
Quote from: Jo on June 12, 2011, 10:39:02 AM
Was it one you've always called yourself, or did you pick a name that was similar to your name and chose the male/female option of it?
I just didn't like being called "Oi you!" :P
The reasons behind my chosen name are twofold: a public reason, which is that I've always liked it, and variations of it... and I love signing it with a really swirly 'L' at the start... but also a private reason that... I keep to myself.
Quote from: Donnie on June 13, 2011, 03:51:43 AM
I've always gone by Donnie, but its only a nickname. I changed my first name to the female version of my birth one. But choose the middle and last ones sort of randomly. Just names that I liked, I poured over baby name sites for ages. I'm not committed to the middle name I have chosen, and you could say I am sort of testing it out to see how it fits. I've seen other people go to their parents and ask what they would have been named if they were born the opposite sex, and allow their parents to name them again.
Remember, don't commit too early because you want something for someone to call you that better fits your identity. I've seen many trans people regretting the name they choose, but felt it was too late to change it because people were already calling them by their new name.
:0
well i was kimball when i was still male, so as i decided on my new name my mom tot shortening it to kim was feminine enough, and i liked the idea of people calling me kimmie too. however, since the shortened version of "kimball" is "kim" too, i tot it more appropriate to have a proper female name. i settled for kimberly, after all my dad did say i would have been kimberly if i was born a girl back then. my middle name was changed frm alan to anne, which was my grandmother's name.
for my family and me, we wanted smtg that everyone at home would have no problem adjusting to. i suppose i was pretty lucky since "kimball" was an easy switch to "kimberly", and the folks at home still refer to me as "kim" and sometimes "kimmie".
I chose mine due to a (cool) coincidence. I was trying to decide on a name and I had a few in mind, but i decided to try out "Jade". I asked my parents about it and apparently it was the name they'd have given me if i had been born as a girl. I found that funny and decided to keep it. I also decided to keep the same last name
Some how someone misspelled my name when I was a small kid one Christmas. The y was an i. I was a little embarrased and never knew who did it. Maybe they found me out? Inside I was Billi from my earliest memories. A lifetime of knowing my inside and outside were not a match. still a struggle to which one will win out. But after over 6 years on hormones the inside is slowly making known to all. Billi lives
My given name, Kendall, is gender neutral. I know other "Kendall"s who are female, and no males (directly - I've heard of them). At this point I plan on keeping the same name - my self-awareness is changing, but who I am is not; if that makes sense? (Well my body is changing, but it is not me). I sometimes think it is permission from the universe to transition my public presentation to fit my experience of my self. There is change within continuity. I do not hate my name or for that matter my mistaken gender assignment. The assignment as male was incorrect, but the name seems fine.
I sometimes wonder if I am missing out on something not changing, but I feel comfortable as a female Kendall.
Kendall
Well my name Taylor is gender neutral, actually my whole name is. But I also like the name Silver. I randomly had a dream where my name was Silver and I liked it. I'm stuck between my super common name and Silver. I still have time to decide :)
For the heck of it, try this: http://www.ssa.gov/oact/babynames/ (http://www.ssa.gov/oact/babynames/)
Just put your birth year, how many results you want, and you will get a list of names that were popular when you were born. I checked my first name against a list like this one before I decided on it. I also considered Jenifer, Nicole, Kathryn, and Deanne. While you can of course come up with a name as different and unique as you want, I am of the mindset that if you are 35 you don't want to choose a name that only came into existence 5 years ago; however, some don't care about that and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
Ultimately, it's YOUR name. You will live with it for the rest of your life. You can also go to a bookstore and browse through baby name books. I have one, and it not only gives tons of names but variations on spelling for each.
My first name, Christopher, is a male version of my unisex given name. I chose it mostly because it was close enough for comfort, and far enough not to make me gag like my given name does. (My mom always fusses because she says I should be okay with my given name, since it's not just for girls... despite only girls having it in my town XD)
I was going to try keeping my initials (CLB), but the middle name "Louis" never seemed to really fit. It was the only "L" name I could find that I liked, really. I don't remember where Silas came from, I think maybe from this conversation:
My friend: "Hey, Uncle! This is my friend, [given name]."
Uncle: "Oh, really? Neat! I have a brother named [My given name] Silas. :D"
Me: "That name is awesome. 8D"
My friend: "Uhm... you know she's a girl, right?"
Uncle & Me: "O.o What?"
I kinda just adopted it a few months later. XD And my other middle name, Ian, came from typing my given name and my last name in computer class, and the bar would only show "ian.[last name]". I hate it, but it fits.
Fitting is important. You can look through all the name books you want, try on every name you can, ask your parents and friends and other assorted loved ones, but if you don't feel like the name *fits*, I'd say don't use it. Something you're comfortable with and feels like you. ;D
I went through quite a few before I decided on mine. I picked based on names that I liked but that I also could shorten if need be. Ash is a pretty gender neutral short form so Ashlyn worked good for me.
I brainstormed alone and only thought of some names that didn't stick for a long time.
So then I brainstormed again with my girlfriend and just stopped when we hit one that just sounded and felt right for me :)
I chose Annah because it was the name of the girl I created in my mind that I always wanted to be. Gosh, I've had that gal in my thoughts since I was 4!
Most people I have known usually choose a name that closer resembles their birth given name. For some very odd reason, my enitre life, I Hated my
real name with a passion. When I bought all my girls clothes and dressed up someone asked me what is your girl name going to be
and I said, "sh** I haven't thought about it!!" I had a Myspace name which was a play on words of my real name but it was for example
the 'opposite' of my name. The example is my name was like a term that sounded like "No" so I had the name sounding like the word
"Yeah". Suddenly I decided that is what is going to be my name- and dammit I never liked that one after all anyways.
Ended up legally changing my name permanently before ever realizing I would rather have something cuter. Luckily made it my middle name
and at the time made my 1st name an androgynous name that worked at the time when I switched I had gone back into boy mode for a while.
Now I have somewhat of a boy name and although it is cute, I would rather have something more feminine than what it is which is Skyler Kay
but my whole family would kick my ass for changing it again because they were a bit annoyed when I changed it the 1st time. Probably one day I will do it anyways for now I am stuck as this ;P o well
I just picked mine because it's pretty
my grandmother agrees! :D
Quote from: EmilyElizabeth on June 22, 2011, 01:11:53 AM
I just picked mine because it's pretty
my grandmother agrees! :D
I agree too! ;D Actually, I've agreed for 17 years. My last year of high school and all through college, I dated a girl whose younger sister was named Emily Elizabeth. Even back then I thought it was a beautiful name.
I didn't like feminine versions of my male name. Joan Davina did not sit well with me since Davina was a name bullies used when I was growing up.
I used to go by Ariel Michelle, 2 names I still love. But my SO kept saying it reminded her of the Little Mermaid.
After looking though countless baby names I came across a little-used one which just really spoke to me. Keaira. Its Gaelic which honors my father for his support. And Elisabeth, which is for my mother who is also very supportive. It's the German version of Elizabeth, since my mum is German. And my Dad is Scottish.
But, Keaira also means ' little dark one', which I think was perfect since I am kind of the black sheep in the family :)
Hello everybody
I use Alex which is the shortened version of my name. It is a name that can be used by a male or female which i like.
I sort of always liked "Kimberly" as a name, and it sounds good with my last name. I wanted to be a little more unique than that without being too oddball, so I chose "Kimber" which is a somewhat common variation. Luckily, my middle name's "Lee", which is pretty gender-neutral itself. I could use "Kimber Lee" or "Kimber" if I wanted, but I tend to shorten it to "Kim" or even "Kimmie"
My advice is to play with the language a little bit without being too conspicuous. Not a lot of people have to chance to choose their name. Might as well have a little fun with it, I suppose.
I chose Alice from Alice's Adventures in Wonderland by Lewis Carroll and any and all interpretations of it since. There are so many hidden messages and meanings that anybody could tweak and make true to themselves. A few of my favorites are:
"We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad."
"I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then."
"If everybody minded their own business, the world would go around a great deal faster than it does."
and this one speaks to me a little differently,
"Why is a raven like a writing desk?".
There was no answer to this riddle, just like there are no answers to life.
That is why I chose the name Alice. It has meaning to me.
I'm lucky, my name works for both male and female. :D
I think I have the name I want, though there is a tiny bit of doubt there as one other name is really nice too, but it was the name of one of my characters from a story I wrote.
note, the name isn't Hikari, though that is a fine name too, which means "light" in Japanese. I am not Asian though so I am only looking at traditionally western names.
If it is able to do without much work I intend to changing my last name too, to gain a bit of distance between me and my family, I have never been close to them. The last name I picked is also a normal last name and starts with the same letter as my current one, just in case I can't change it in my state easily, I won't throw the initials off.