Hey, everyone.
I guess I might go by Ben around here. I'm a fairly reserved, East Coast-based FAAB person who loves choral music and is interested in researching pedagogies and educational practice with regard to gender and nationhood. I'm recently twenty-two and finished up my undergraduate degree about a month ago, and I'm living in my childhood home with my parents and siblings while I look for work and/or consider graduate school. I've browsed Susan's for a while now and have watched the guys' "Official 'Do I Pass?' Thread" with awe, and I've finally decided to be active around here in an effort to explore some questioning I've been doing these past few years.
I'm having a bit of trouble articulating my experience with gender and identity, even to myself. Though I certainly wish that my body shape would take on a more traditionally 'masculine' appearance, and though I think that the parts of me that are traditionally 'feminine' look strange on me, I don't tend to experience really crippling physical dysphoria. My discomfort, I think, is more with having been socialized as a girl and, as I transition into early adulthood, being expected to become a woman. I just don't really see it happening, and the thought of it really gets me down.
I'm not a person who's "always known something was wrong." As far as I can remember, I was a pretty happy kid who nobody would have read as anything other than a little girl. Ever since puberty began, though, I've looked at my male relatives and peers and experienced a sad kind of jealous pang. It isn't so much "But I'm a boy! I've always been a boy!" as "But that should be me... and it isn't."
I'm trying to get my life really started, but I don't quite know how. I often feel like my life, even as it slips me by, hasn't begun and can't begin until I can move through my life and through the world as a young man. But I also feel like I can't with any personal integrity make an informed choice to live as that young man until my life's really begun. So... catch-22.
I'm hoping to chat with and learn from the folks around here. Susan's seems like a great community and a great resource, and it'll be a relief to have people to talk with.
Thanks for having me!
Welcome to Susan's, Ben, it's great to have you here. We have a great bunch of folks here who would, I'm sure, be more than happy to help you figure out whatever it is you need to, so don't be afraid to just jump right in there and get amongst it all. :)
*hug*
PS, I had to google the word 'Pedagogy', lol. You learn something new every day.
Thanks a lot, Sephirah. I'm glad to have helped you learn something new today and gladder that there seem to be welcoming people like you all over this forum. :) I'm looking forward to jumping right in.
Hi Ben..welcome to Susans...I hope you meet lots of new friends and family here and feel at home..
Thanks, Taylor. I'm looking forward to getting to know the people around here. Seems like a really nice group.
Hi Ben, welcome to Susans! I didn't google that word, I'll be watching this thread to see if anyone reveals the meaning! See you around, hugs, Tracey
Thanks for the hugs, Tracey. Pedagogies, really simply, are manners and methods of teaching. I'm interested in how we learn what we know and how we pass it on to others. :) See you!