I am happily married to my husband. We have been together for 9 years and married for 6 years. We have a lot of respect for one another and great communication skills. I fully accepted his transition (of course took me at least 4 years to do so) He told me when we were married for 2 years and at first my WHOLE world crashed right before my very eyes. I was still really insecure and could not understand what he was telling me "that he wanted to be a woman" BUT we have had tons of conversations, tears, and heartache. But we found each other not only emotional, physically, and spiritually, but we are strong enough to be two wonderful mommies!!! I am 9 weeks along!! Very Exited!! He has not told his family or friends yet but will when he is ready and he is seeing a MTF counselor and marriage counselor. He feels really comfortable talking with her. He wants to stay with me forever even after he transitions and I am content with that. I have researched transgendered and my heart really and truly goes out to the people who conquer this journey. I want nothing more then to my husband to feel wonderful about himself and he needs to do what it takes to do so!! He just started his hormones about 2 days ago and I asked him if he could plz freeze his sperm (just incase) because I have ALWAYS wanted to be a mommy :) Does anyone know of any parenting books for transgendered couples? This is probably jumbled but I had a lot to say!! Thank you for your time and continue on your awesome journey!!!
I am not familiar with any such books. Perhaps someone else may though...
By all means look into freezing sperm. Not a bad plan.
If your husband is on hormones and is transitioning from male to female then the proper way to refer to your spouse here on Susans would be to use female pronouns and terms; wife, she, her, hers, ect. It will help too avoid confusion and avoid any hurt feelings.
I think it great that you two, soon to be three are taking this journey together :) Wishing you all the best for happiness and a healthy child
Hugs
- Virginia
i agree, you should really start trying to use female pronouns, I'm sure she minds when you call her your "husband" he, his, him, all that.
congrats though :)
As for pronouns, I'd say go with what your partner prefers. I suspect most people in your partner's situation want to be referred to as female, but everyone is different and your partner's wishes need to be respect. If your partner says "he", then use that. If your partner says "she", use that.
Thank you everyone!! I understand what everyone means. I will start considering these pronouns. She told me yesterday, that I made her feel really beautiful with all of my compliments and actions towards her!! :D She told me if she felt disrespected by me she would tell me. I believe we have the tools to make this a successful marriage. I know not very many can make it through, but I feel we can. My whole goal on this journey is to stay with her tell "death do us part" and have positive emotion towards when she fully transitions!
Pluto.
I really understand how you feel and your need for a guide book.
May I suggest you stick to these pages? Read some books, by all means, but the realty is that any advice you get from books will be so specific.
Here you have a lot of people in varying stages of transision. Best of all, a few married couples. Even better, quite a few parents. First hand advice, from people you know, (or soon will) and who know you.
We really do need to sort out some terminology protocalls. But your partner in marriage, (not bad, but doesn't exactly roll off the tongue), really needs to get that sperm freezing sorted out now.
You could try googling for places in your area that will store it for you. But when you've found a place, do check it, perhaps ask your GP.
Also, you might want to google to see if there are any transgender support groups in your area. By the sounds of it, you don't need anything intense. But some place which might act as a central repositry for local information, support and advice.