Last year I was ending up my therapy sessions with a wonderful doctor and we were discussing my real life experience. This was last May and I told her I was going to Seminary next fall and during the fall semester I would still be presenting male well androgynous really) and then I would transition fulltime on Christmas day.
She told me "now why in the world would you want to do that?"
I thought wasn't ready. More nervous than anything. I hadn't even done anything part time as a female and I will be going into a Seminary...not exactly the best environment to test out your gender identification!!
She then told me how confusing that would be for my classmates and professors if I were a male one semester and then a female the next.
Honestly, I really had it in my mind to transition on Christmas....having it pushed up four months really rocked my world.
"Do you have any clothing?" she asked
"Um yeah, Ive bought quite a few things" I replied
"Good. You really are ready to do this, Annah."
Heh, I thought she was SOO wrong
So I moved on campus in July and I had about a good month and a half to really think this through. The first day of classes was coming up pretty darn fast!
I remember that day like it was yesterday. I put on my make up, did my hair, my make up. Ruined three pair of pantyhose because I never put them on before (I had to youtube "how to put on pantyhose"....it was that bad lol) and I walked out to my first day of school.
We sat there during our orientation and 30 minutes later I ran into the girl's bathroom to throw up. So yeah, my first time in a girl's bathroom and it was to vomit lol.
After that, I settled back down. I realized it was my nerves and everything was on overload. I called my therapist later that day and told her what had happened. She started to chuckle and told me "oh Annah! I said be yourself the first day of class! You didn't have to wear a skirt the first day. You could have dressed androgynous with a hint of femininity. I wanted you to present yourself as Annah to the students and the Seminary...you didnt have to get mega feminine on the first day!
So after that day it got easier and easier and it got to the point where I was ready to work part time in the mall while I went to Seminary. So I applied at Jc Penney's and the only one who knows I was born a boy was my store manager and hr director.
So for all of you who are having doubts about real life experience, the tension and the nervousness of it all does subside. Trust me :)
Congratulations Sis. Pity the butterflies turned out to be the size of eagles. :(
Karen.
aww congratz.
I had originally planned for April 2010 but by February 2010, I couldn't wait any longer ;) hehe
I think we always end up starting before we plan to :D
Quote from: EmilyElizabeth on June 22, 2011, 12:46:41 PM
I think we always end up starting before we plan to :D
i agree. i found that it kind of just happens more than you
choose to do it, despite popular belief.
Congrats, Annah. As you now know, it turns out that WE are far worse on ourselves than the outside world is when we first step outside as our true selves. Yes, our inner fears are far worse than reality.
Isn't it great to finally live as you were meant to live all this time?
Quote from: EmilyElizabeth on June 22, 2011, 12:46:41 PM
I think we always end up starting before we plan to :D
isnt it amazing how that works out lol
I had this perfect roadmap and it all went away lol. Therapists are good at pushing you :P
Hey Annah,
This is great news! My goal is to go full time more than two years from now. I feel like I can't wait that long. Maybe I won't. ;D
Jennifer
Well, Jennifer, based on my experiences, you will be living your full time dream in about 13 months LOL
Quote from: Annah on June 22, 2011, 06:41:57 PM
Well, Jennifer, based on my experiences, you will be living your full time dream in about 13 months LOL
YAY! :icon_joy:
Jennifer
What a great story! I was going to wait until Oct 2011 to go full time tehehehehe. April came and I was going to be taking a few classes at school and I was like oh eff it - I'll go for it.
Been full time since my 34th birthday. In the end of March.
Oh fascinating, I just realized that I went full time on my birthday. It just so happens that was the first day of school so I wasn't even thinking about that. I was nervous too (and got a flat tire and had to call a service), but it all turned out okay.
Now to everyone at school I'm just Madelyn :)
That's awesome and inspiring Annah :)