So, my entire family has been ridiculously supportive of me, of which I am grateful. However, I have five young cousins who are curious, and I don't want to confuse them. They've accepted that I'm "a boy now," but they still have questions. I've seen them twice so far since coming out... I'm kind of a novelty to them and they like playing around with the idea that I'm male but still female-bodied, which is fine by me, because I know this is all an entirely new concept for them. I had to stop the youngest one from thinking it was okay to use female terms to make me uncomfortable/angry, but I don't take it too personally--kids will be kids, and anyway she's got a reputation for being a bit of a brat. :p
The others are more kind about it. I last saw them on Father's Day, and the second youngest asked me, "Why don't you want to be a girl anymore?" I answered, "I never was one," which is the truth, but she didn't accept that answer. And I know someone that young might not understand that having a particular body is not indicative of having a synchronous identity. My oldest cousin, the only boy, and twelve years old, understood me immediately. Maybe it's harder for the girls to get it? Either way, I would really like to give them an explanation that they could make sense of. A simple one. As I really don't think it's necessary to get into a huge discussion.
Anyone have experience with this? What can I tell them?
Just say a boy heart and a girl body. Kids can be suprisingly accepting once they understand it.
I have two small children who were 2 and 4 when I came out... They're 5 and 7 now.
Since then, I've learned that the simplest explanation is best when it comes to pre-teens... "I was born a boy but always felt that I should have been a girl
so I went to the doctor and she helped me become one."
I know that's a huge oversimplification of transsexuality but it works. Even when my daughter has introduced me to friends, she's said, "This is Jess...
She used to be a boy," they'd give me a look, shrug their shoulders and were off to play. Otherwise, you're a novelty that they'll talk about when you're not
looking but then just move on... Funny thing, though, how easily kids seem to understand; I offered a very brief and simple description
about the reason I would be in Thailand for a month. My daughter explained the whole thing to her therapist...in detail :o .... she had just figured it out on her own.
Teens, however, will try to figure you out.. I have a niece, for example, that stares at me with this puzzled look, constantly whenever I'm around..
She calls me Aunt, which is really cool, but it's like she can't reconcile who I was with who I am now. I offer as much explanation as is owed someone
and is very specifically tailored to the amount of respect they show me. If your cousins are all over 12, I would offer to sit down with them and be absolutely
honest and open about things... answer their questions tactfully but honestly. Transsexuality isn't an "adult" subject but they'll see it as such if you try to
dance around the reality.