I came out to the women who run student housing at my college.
I felt they ought to know how I identify, so they don't improperly house someone.
Here's how the conversation went down:
"Do either of you know what a non-op transman is?"
"Oh...I do."
"Good. Because while I have not yet had surgery..."
"You plan on it."
"Right."
"So you identify as male, then."
"Yes."
"Okay."
"I thought you ought to know because I was having an issue with wording it on my room mate match request form."
"Well, is there anyone you know who'll be coming to the school that you'd like to live with?"
"No. I don't really know a lot of people."
"And what gender would you like your room mate to be?"
"Honestly? I don't care. Male, Female, trans...it does not matter one bit to me. Just as long as I can feel safe."
"Absolutely. Well, since you've brought this up, there is a box at the bottom of the form you can fill out telling more about yourself, like what your interests are, and what you need in a new room mate."
"Cool."
"Just fill out the form as you'd like, and hand it in. We'll watch out for your application and when we get it, we'll take special care to match you with someone who's sensitive to the needs of people in your position."
"Thank you so much. You've really helped me."
Speaking to them face-to-face was really hard, but I felt like it needed to be done.
And it went better than expected.
Now, if only I could feel this confident when approaching the subject of coming out to my family.
Well done you, and well done them!
Thanks, lovely!
I'm so terrified about coming out to the family.
I know I have to do it soon, as they are really the only ones who don't know yet.
And that's not fair.
I just don't want them to stop loving me.
Quote from: riccirules on July 03, 2011, 08:30:46 PM
I'm so terrified about coming out to the family.
I know I have to do it soon, as they are really the only ones who don't know yet.
And that's not fair.
I just don't want them to stop loving me.
Maybe that's exactly what you need to tell them, when you do.
That's cool that they're being helpful. It's too bad that I'm done and moving away in August, as I'm in a room in student housing with a bunch of girls at the moment. Good luck with your roommates!
isn't student housing funny how it's either a COMPLETE hit or miss? you got so lucky.. i have heard horror stories of 100% passable guys being put with a female roommate and having to out themselves. i got really lucky too. my school reserves single rooms with private bathrooms for specific scholarship winners, but when i explained my situation they gave me one of those "to avoid any potential embarrassment changing in front of a roommate or showering in a shared bathroom". i explained to them that i'm not a princess (in nicer words) and don't need special treatment, but they were happy to give it to me.
I was so thankful to know that the lgbt services at my school works with student housing for trans* students. It's as easy as emailing the lgbt resource center and telling them what you want. They found me a roommate that was active in the trans* student organizations, and she is completely amazing. I give all my props to msu for being one of the more trans* friendly campuses.
Good for you that you could go talk to them. Especially face to face, I never would have been able to do that. It shows that you can stand up for what you believe in and who you are. A quite admirable characteristic. I'm glad it worked out well for you. Good luck with coming out to the family, I'm pretty much in the same boat.
-Aiden
I am so lucky that my school has a pretty reasonable & understanding residence life staff. While transitioning last yr, I had 2 roommates. One per semester (only because my first had to move off campus). The first was trans, the other was one of my best friends who's male. At this point housing is no issue for me though, so I'm living with a good female friend of mine both semesters this coming year :)
trans is not a gender.
Quote from: Andy8715 on July 25, 2011, 08:21:20 PM
trans is not a gender.
Exactly my thought. If anything say "male or female who also has had a trans experience or is also trans"
I identify strictly as a woman. It aggravates me when people separate trans individuals from everyone else.
Quote from: cryan91 on July 25, 2011, 09:40:32 PM
Exactly my thought. If anything say "male or female who also has had a trans experience or is also trans"
I identify strictly as a woman. It aggravates me when people separate trans individuals from everyone else.
especially when they themselves are trans. You would think they would understand why not to do that.
Quote from: Andy8715 on July 25, 2011, 11:18:23 PM
especially when they themselves are trans. You would think they would understand why not to do that.
We separate trans experiences from cis experiences because cissexual people don't know what it's like to experience what we experience. You would think that YOU would understand that. I'm sorry, but no cis person knows what it is like to be born with the wrong genitalia and to be assigned the wrong sex at birth. They don't know what it is like to then have to correct that mistake or to have others try to dictate their sex for them.
That said, my university now has a "gender inclusive" residency hall. Go UO!