im 46 . and just now gaining the courage to realize whats wrong , sigh .. im worryed about age and pretty much everything that could go wrong can . my finances are garbage because of a lack of self worth i guess .. ive never felt "right" or correct .. and find myself at war with my self ive dabbled in CD and feel very comfy in womens clothing - oddly enough it doesnt cause a "omg" fetish reaction .. it just feels "better" i know the path im choosing is difficult and expensive , im worryed about medical issues . costs ect ect so far ive told a very few close friends and they have been positive .. my ex of 10 years was saying .. "ok.. why didnt you do it sooner .. im lucky in regards to looking my age i look younger .. im hoping to "pass:" i know i shouldnt expect miracles but im hoping to find people in my area that can help me .. im kinda lost on what to do first ( located in phx/tempe .. Arizona )any help or advice would be appreceated and apologys if this isnt in the right area ..
46? Wish I had started at 46. I am 57 and have been on HRT for three months, and full time for about 6 weeks.
There are lots of girls and guys here older than you, so don't worry about being the odd one out here.
It's great that your ex is understanding, and your friends are on board. I had to start out alone, so if you have female friends who can help with appearance and body language tips you are well ahead of the game. I have had to watch the pennies too, so like a lot of the girls here, I started shopping in charity shops. Nothing wrong with it at all, in fact it has become trendy here of late.
The best advice I can give is to get good laser facial hair removal started as soon as you can. My laser place was owned by a Dr, so could use a high powered medical laser which took about 6 sessions to remove virtually all the dark hair. The grey ones left don't show after shaving. If you decide transition is not for you, well you just don't have to ever buy razor blades again!
When I was unable to afford things, or was feeling uncertain, I would simply "people-watch" in the local shopping malls etc, to pick up female behaviour. If you are making slow progress it is still progress.
Karen.
I came out publicly just after my 46th birthday, and your finances couldn't possibly be worse than mine. You said - "in your area" - generally speaking, what area is that?
money is a large concern - and thank you for the support :) im glad i found this site - ive been playing rpgs for years and online games ( always as a female ) so i have a lot of the "launguage" down . i even have a somewhat decent female voice..unless i get annoyed or irritated then it drops right back to a lower range my area is the tempe pheonix area of Arizona USA, my ex whos supportive is now in cali, and cant really assist much and the other gal thats positive .. umm well i know more about clothing and makeup than she does .. my best friend ( male and totally straght ) said he wants me to be happy and to make D*m sure i know what im doing out of concen for my health mental and physical and thats cool , i want to make connections locally to find out what i need to do , im pretty comfy with the idea of hormones ( although im terrified of needles ) and yeah good will is a idea i already had , online payless shoes is a awesome shop and i fit a small 10 womens nicely sadly my female wardrobe consists currently of 2 battered tops 2 skirts ( one of witch my lady friend gave me because it was just a hair too large for her my hair is still very male and thankfully my hair has a thin spot , and i really hope that can be fixed , the idea of surgery scares the hell out of me i made the mistake of going online and typing in "neo-vagina" and hitting images .... after feeling sick for 5 min ( talk about a dose of ice water ) i decided that yes .. i still want to do this even if i stay non-op i have always wanted / dreamed of being female as long as i can remember and ive made a practice of coming home from work changing clothing and staying dressed the way i prefer at home , im just a wee bit . ok a LOT confused on how to start making things happen .. what to do first as far as find a theripist .. doctor .. ect ect and then start on the path to "fix" my self .. i find i still dont really want to have sex with men and find women very attractive not sure if hormones will change that.. ive actually never had my testoserone levels checked so have no clue , but i can go almost 2 days without shaving my face and several days almost a week without shaving the rest of me ( i cant stand body hair ) and yes lasering off my face .. um beard is in the plans , im just glad i wasnt cursed with massive hair on my body , again thank you for the kind words it gives me courage , and yeah the age thing was really bugging me ( curses and wishes i had done this at 20 or younger ) i think its kinda ironic when my relitives would make fun of me playing with "action figures or dolls " and he would just grin and say "well at least hes not going out and getting arrested or drinking and Wh**ing around like yours... mind you he was well in his 60s and very old school .. its too bad he passed away at 79 when i was 21 somehow i think he might have been able to handle it , hopfully when im living full time as myself .. i can look back on this as a rite of passage ...
Hi,
firstly I've just turned 65! Am since 1 1/2 years on RLE, HRT, and done my one year stint with a "gate-keeper" shrink idjet. But got my "letter" and ... on goes the show. Planning for GRS.
Honey, to make an omelette you gotta break some eggs, hey :-)
So you are some sort of spring chicken. The idea of having transitioned much earlier is most appealing but then WHO KNOWS what would be for you now. Also don't for get: What is, IS.
Life moves forward don't look back and get too much wrapped up in what should have been, move forward is my best advise.
As for what and what NOT to do, look up some of the relevant web info see:
World Professional Association for Transgender
http://www.debradavis.org/gecpage/benjamin.html (http://www.debradavis.org/gecpage/benjamin.html) or
http://www.wpath.org/Documents2/socv6.pdf (http://www.wpath.org/Documents2/socv6.pdf)
Or Google "So you want to be a tgirl" all about the purgatory your in right now with a lot of "us"
http://giftorlando.webatu.com/pdf-files/So%20You%20Want%20to%20be%20a%20T-Girl%202.pdf (http://giftorlando.webatu.com/pdf-files/So%20You%20Want%20to%20be%20a%20T-Girl%202.pdf)
there is LOTS and lots to fill you in, then ask question on how to go about it, if it's not so clear.
My best advise hon.
Axelle
The Wiki here has a ton of info.
I'm sure a city that size has an LGBT center that can probably direct you to some local resources - maybe even some low cost ones. if you want to start with a therapist but have low income, check with the closest university, if they have a Psych Dept they may very well do a sliding scale appointment - you'll get a soon-to-graduate student, but s/he will be under the supervision of a doctor.
I have at least one facebook friend (a F2M) that I believe lives in Phoenix and he might give me some tips to pass along about the trans community in the area.
that would be cool , i have a facebook page but im keeping it in deep stealth mode atm - but i would love to get in touch with people that understand and can help me figure this out .. i read the doc ." so you want to be a T girl " ouch.. i say again .. ouch.. that hits hard, i well i didnt choose this because it was easy.. and its gonna get worse before it smooths out .. all helpful advice and thank you Axelle , that gives me hope the age thing :)
send me a PM - just a placeholder to remind me to message my friend because I'll forget.
Edit: Wait, you might not be able to do that yet (not sure if there's a minimum post requirement.
anyway, if someone replies to this thread it will bump up on the "new replies" list and that will do it.
A quick bump and hello.
I'm 58 been on 'mones for 18 months. I was ready at 13 but life has its toll on me.
Hugs
Cindy
thats awesome, the more i read and think about this the more sure i become, i realize that might sound stereotypical but what the heck its how i feel , have you had any medical issues with the treatments ? i seen lots and lots of horror storys im assuming that there are a lot of risks, hopfully explosive chemical reaction and being blown to bits isnt one of them *smiles* anywhos glad to meet you gals , and looking forward to keeping in touch and learning all i can ,..
I was really a late bloomer, began seeing a therapist full time just before I turned 70. Better late than never. My spouse is extremely understanding. Started hormones about 6 months after therapy. Spouse and daughter love the "new" me.
Never to late for a new beginning
im a bit worryed about the medical side effects .. how common are heart and liver issues , i smoke..( i know bad girl ) .. !! i have a small middle age spread at the waist (damn it .. ) was just wondering ( yes i know it effects everyone diffrently .. also know any good excuses to tell people if im wearing black nail polish other than EMO ( im not ) perhaps goth .. hmm maybe dye my hair black , its natually kinda brownish
Nice to know I'm not the only one, and at 53 I'm telling myself its only a number!. So far I've started Laser Hair Removal of my face and neck, looking for a therapist. I smoke also, planning to "step off" shortly. As to HRT, that will come in due time.
i guess my first step is to find a decent hair removal place ,that takes payments :P
Quote from: Centcomm01 on July 04, 2011, 12:33:22 PM
im a bit worryed about the medical side effects .. how common are heart and liver issues , i smoke..( i know bad girl ) .. !! i have a small middle age spread at the waist (damn it .. ) was just wondering ( yes i know it effects everyone diffrently .. also know any good excuses to tell people if im wearing black nail polish other than EMO ( im not ) perhaps goth .. hmm maybe dye my hair black , its natually kinda brownish
I've always heard that smoking and HRT was a bad combination. as for the liver, there are ways around that.
Messaged my friend.
awesome , thank you tam . appreceate it .. what ways ? right now im info hungry for more than what websites and docs can give .
Quote from: Centcomm01 on July 04, 2011, 04:31:44 PM
awesome , thank you tam . appreceate it .. what ways ? right now im info hungry for more than what websites and docs can give .
If you take E by mouth, put it under the tongue and let it "absorb" instead of swallowing. of course, injections and patches also avoid the liver but they are higher.
My friend recommended the name - Antonia Elle D'orsay. she's apparently the front line high-profile M2F in the Phoenix area and would know all the resources. she can be found on FB if you want to go that route but there are probably other ways.
He said to mention his name - Lance Jayden - when you contact Toni.
got it .. now just to locate and contact .. im trying to aviod facebook if i can , due to some people on it might not understand yet
Quote from: Centcomm01 on July 04, 2011, 05:36:02 PM
got it .. now just to locate and contact .. im trying to aviod facebook if i can , due to some people on it might not understand yet
Just FYI - you can send a PM on Facebook without being "friends."
i didnt now that . most of the time i send a PM on facebook it winds up where everyone can see it .. AGH!
just told another friend tonight , he reacted very positively .. also he knows a post-op gal that has already been though this from back in 2002 , we are setting up a get togather so we can get a plan of action on this , .. and yet again another of my friends " isnt the least bit surprised " ok how did i miss this and they didnt ... ???
likely you are just posting to their wall. - in the upper right there's a button specifically for private messages
Centcomm1, if you're looking for a place to do Laser Hair Removal (LHR) consider this...if ya live in a large city that has a Medical School either call or go online and check with their Dermatology Clinic. I leave in a large city with 2 medical schools, one has a Laser Clinic with the latest and greatest lasers (Luminis Lightshear Duet), and prices better than a Med-Spa. Also its pay as you go, none of this package deal stuff, plus its done by an RN (and one that has worked there for years).
Or... you can checkout a private school that teaches Laser Hair Removal. If you go that route please be aware that you will not always have the same technician. I see you live in the Phoenix area, be advised that IMAJ Institute in Scottsdale does this, but...they do not advocate the use of anesthetic cream (LMX 4 or 5%), their policy. Even with LMX cream it still smarts! I have found that out even with the Luminis Duet which has a suction device that will help decrease the pain on other parts of the body except the face and neck! And if that wasn't enough...in Phoenix you get tanned even if you're inside, LOL, so you will have to bathe in 30 SPF SUNBLOCK before and after treatments. Will probably need 4-6 treatments every 6-8 weeks. If you have Blonde, Grey or White facial hair it will not work, Red depends on the Laser available. I have some white hairs so off to Electrolysis I go after the LHR is done.
found a decent place to do LHR - so price is decent ( hope im not reposting this ) but im wondering untill i get real breasts .. or good silcone ones whats the best way to DIY your own ive kinda used surgical gloves and plastic baggies but not happy with this ... ideas ?
I'm 51 have been living 24/7 as a woman for 3-4 years (and was living VERY fem androgynous for 10 years prior) and have had no surgery, electrolysis and just started HRT a few months ago. I guess I'm lucky I have almost no beard shadow? Makeup is really all I need. Some people might HAVE to do something else about that? I had a nasty reaction to electrolysis so had to skip that part :(
It does take some money to build up a wardrobe, thrift stores and on line sales can save a ton on that expense. As far as boobs, look up "Pals breast forms", they are awesome! WAY better that anything else I have seen or tried. I honestly don't really care if HRT works great or not, these do the job for me. I found Jon Renau wigs to be very reasonably priced, look nice, are comfortable and last for a couple of months of daily wear.
My name change took some money but I guess you could do that on your own too. That step was a big one and the one that "sealed my fate" so to speak. I had been living full time about a year when that finally went through so REALLY felt good to get an ID with a picture and name that fit my new gender. Wish I could get a F on it too but.... For now that's not possible.
You can always find an excuse to not do this. Money is a good one but the MAIN thing is the courage to JUST DO IT. If you insist on passing 100% before you start living 24/7 you likely never will. I pass most of the time it seems, maybe people are just being nice/respectful or just give me the benefit of the doubt? Whatever the reason, I am treated like a woman by most people which is ALL that matters to me. I did this in place and there are some difficulties involved in that. A few slow people I had to have a talk with them and say "Look, I am NOT a guy anymore (duh), my name is NOT _______ so please respect the changes I have made in my life."
On the meds, I had a bad reaction to estrogen (long story) but tolerate Spiro fine. Just removing the T from your system does wonders and that part of the HRT doesn't stress your system nearly as much as the other parts do. That said HRT is NOT required to start living 24/7, actually nothing other that just gaining the courage to do it is :)
Good point Steph, COURAGE! Reminds me of the Cowardly Lion's Speech from the Wizard of OZ..."what makes a king outta a slave...what makes the flag on the mast to wave...what puts the ape in apricot"... That's what you got.
Quote from: Centcomm01 on July 03, 2011, 10:37:47 PM
im 46 . and just now gaining the courage to realize whats wrong , sigh .. im worryed about age and pretty much everything that could go wrong can . my finances are garbage because of a lack of self worth i guess .. ive never felt "right" or correct .. and find myself at war with my self ive dabbled in CD and feel very comfy in womens clothing - oddly enough it doesnt cause a "omg" fetish reaction .. it just feels "better" i know the path im choosing is difficult and expensive , im worryed about medical issues . costs ect ect so far ive told a very few close friends and they have been positive .. my ex of 10 years was saying .. "ok.. why didnt you do it sooner .. im lucky in regards to looking my age i look younger .. im hoping to "pass:" i know i shouldnt expect miracles but im hoping to find people in my area that can help me .. im kinda lost on what to do first ( located in phx/tempe .. Arizona )any help or advice would be appreceated and apologys if this isnt in the right area ..
I'm 54 & should have changed in junior or high school, knew early I was a girl. But I did/could not.
Look at your self honestly, can your body be changed into a normal womans body? i.e, beard, frame, face, hair, height, voice. If you are close to female go for it full speed if you are going to do it. Do not wait! If your body does not have a chance to change not sure????
Just told the last of my friends today .. and all reactions are positive YAY! ;D apperntly most of them are the "um so what, we knew this " and are being very supportive made a rash of errands today got a dress .. DAMN it its too small but might fit me later if my waist ever gets smaller stupid man belly .. needs to GO AWAY
- i look slightly preggers >_< got a pair of new shoes ( and yesh goodwill rocks ) only paid 4.99 for the dress and 4.99 for a nice black top shoes .. 21.00 at payless told the confused clerk "its for my girlfriend " that silenced any negitive i apperenently have NO idea how womens sizes work the size was P-10 whatever that means the top was a large... shoes are easy im a 10 standard still looking for the head doctor , but im plotting my first laser treatment asap , now one of my friends has two young boys and she asked "please dont confuse them" they are both functioning autistic so im guessing staying "unisex" for them is easyer , anyone else had requests like that? i dont want to be the cause of copnfusion for them and they may not fully understand why .. the guy is suddenly wearing girl clothing .. so i figure unisex is best for when im around them
Quote from: Centcomm01 on July 06, 2011, 01:05:46 PM
found a decent place to do LHR - so price is decent ( hope im not reposting this ) but im wondering untill i get real breasts .. or good silcone ones whats the best way to DIY your own ive kinda used surgical gloves and plastic baggies but not happy with this ... ideas ?
Here's what i do - it's not perfect because they are too heavy and solid to the touch, but I've had more than one tell me they assumed they were real.
Get some knee-highs and some rice (or bird seed, but rice doesn't have a distinctive smell and lasts longer) - put about a half cup of rice in each (you will have to add more to personalize the size but it's easier to add to taste than to remove if you have too much) and experiment. when you have the right size, tie them off and cut away the excess. usually I'll twist them and then "rebag" by doubling over again so a run doesn't give you a leak - then tie.
Be very careful to measure how much you add so that they come out the same size.
OH good idea .. hey i saw that in a web comic !!! venus envy i think , excellent idea will put that into action thank you ( is saving pennys now ) ;D
Started transitioned 1/27/06, at the age of 40.
I do not reget transitioning, only the way in which I have gone about it.
Do not take the "plunge" until you are sure of the depth of the pool you are "plunging" into.
You owe it to your future and your sanity to make sure you have the support of
a competent, DIPLOMA'ED therapist, experienced in gender issues
who will help you map out a definative path for your transition.
Quote from: heatherrose on July 07, 2011, 03:29:17 AM
Started transitioned 1/27/06, at the age of 40.
I do not reget transitioning, only the way in which I have gone about it.
Do not take the "plunge" until you are sure of the depth of the pool you are "plunging" into.
You owe it to your future and your sanity to make sure you have the support of
a competent, DIPLOMA'ED therapist, experienced in gender issues
who will help you map out a definative path for your transition.
I guess everyone is different on this. I have zero regrets on how I transitioned and I just -did it- with only the support of my close friends. Maybe some people need a therapists support? This is not a hard and fast rule. For someone on a very limited budget, I'm not sure I would spend the $$$$$$ on a therapist unless THEY feel they NEED one! My experience in dealing with therapists has not been very positive and before anyone says "Well they need to be experienced in gender issues" etc, I think a post OP MTF TS has a clue about gender issues wouldn't you think? :P
I am late in the game ... but I turn 40 in a couple weeks & hope to get my first shot of hormones into me prior to that!
Am over 50 and 7 months into the medical part of transition.
If I could have done this sooner, I would have.
We all got today, same as the young 'uns.
Wishing you continued success with everything.
Quote from: Stephe on July 07, 2011, 11:01:48 AM
I guess everyone is different on this. I have zero regrets on how I transitioned and I just -did it- with only the support of my close friends. Maybe some people need a therapists support? This is not a hard and fast rule. For someone on a very limited budget, I'm not sure I would spend the $$$$$$ on a therapist unless THEY feel they NEED one! My experience in dealing with therapists has not been very positive and before anyone says "Well they need to be experienced in gender issues" etc, I think a post OP MTF TS has a clue about gender issues wouldn't you think? :P
Agreed. If I'd waited until I could afford therapy, most likely it would never have happened, and I can't think of anything a therapist would have done for me that more money wouldn't have.
well i have no idea how to get hormones other than jump though the hoops , im already dreading the cost of appts
Quote from: Centcomm01 on July 08, 2011, 07:08:30 AM
well i have no idea how to get hormones other than jump though the hoops , im already dreading the cost of appts
Unfortunately as long as the TG community supports the whole WPATH standards of care, many people will be forced to go through expensive, totally unnecessary for them therapy. Of course some people need therapy and there is nothing stopping them for doing that under informed consent. A doctor can ALWAYS refuse to treat a patient if they thing something is screwy.
The people who needed therapy to deal with their gender issues are the ones here supporting the whole WPATH nonsense because it fit their needs perfectly and wasn't a problem. For people like me who had resolved their gender issues already (I was already living full time) and just wanted to start HRT, it was insulting to have to go through all that. I'm just glad I could afford it, some people can't afford the shrinkso they get NO HELP whatsoever because of this. Or are forced to DIY.
I did not start seeing someone until two years after I started transition.
The pool which I wish I had sounded, for it's depth, was Suicidal Depression, after I lost
EVERYTHING that I had busted my butt for, over a period of a few decades.
I wish I had had an objective someone to talk to, face to face,
that understood what I was and would be continuing to go through.
Quote from: Centcomm01 on July 08, 2011, 07:08:30 AM
well i have no idea how to get hormones other than jump though the hoops , im already dreading the cost of appts
there are "informed consent" providers which don't demand the therapist letter, but they are not common and I'm not sure how close one might be to you.
Quote from: Tammy Hope on July 09, 2011, 05:57:42 PM
"A defective piece can have more value because of it's uniqueness." - NCIS Los Angeles
This quote disturbs me more that what you actually say. If you feel you are "defective", obviously you are going to fight depression for the rest of your life.
Clearly transitioning is going to radically change our lives and we will lose things in the process. I think anyone who goes into this process thinking things will basically stay the same is delusional and hasn't thought this through. Again, some people clearly need to seek therapy to get though this and probably other things in their life as well, but that isn't something that should be a requirement or assume everyone needs it.
You became suicidal, I am happier than I have ever been in my life. I don't think lack of therapy explains both does it?
im a bit annoyed i will have to go to a head doctor just to do what i want, one i made the desicision i felt like a huuuge wieght was lifted off me , now i ive told all my friends and trying to arrange things ( only being constrained by cash flow ) do i NEED a head doctor proably not . but i dont mind going once or twice but i dont feel down about my decision
Ya, I was pretty annoyed with having to go to a counselor .... however, I am glad I did. I mainly went without reluctance b/c my wife was so overwhelmed by it all -- she helped us work through that and my wife adjust to the man I am. On my second private apt with my counselor she said - do you want me to write the letter -- I totally think your ready and able to do it and I only request that you see me a couple times after your surgery with your wife to make sure you have the support you need. So if you get the right person then you don't have to do a ton of counseling. One benefit I found from being older is that I have good health insurance and my transitioning has cost me nothing thus far.
AUGH! im so green .. my so called health insurance at work costs 200 plus a check for one person and covers almost nothing but emergency stuff - ie practicaly nothing so i didnt bother with it and yes i plan on going , i am still looking for a good one with hopfully a sliding scale
Quote from: Centcomm01 on July 03, 2011, 10:37:47 PM
im 46 . and just now gaining the courage to realize whats wrong , sigh .. im worryed about age and pretty much everything that could go wrong can . my finances are garbage because of a lack of self worth i guess .. ive never felt "right" or correct .. and find myself at war with my self ive dabbled in CD and feel very comfy in womens clothing - oddly enough it doesnt cause a "omg" fetish reaction .. it just feels "better" i know the path im choosing is difficult and expensive , im worryed about medical issues . costs ect ect so far ive told a very few close friends and they have been positive .. my ex of 10 years was saying .. "ok.. why didnt you do it sooner .. im lucky in regards to looking my age i look younger .. im hoping to "pass:" i know i shouldnt expect miracles but im hoping to find people in my area that can help me .. im kinda lost on what to do first ( located in phx/tempe .. Arizona )any help or advice would be appreceated and apologys if this isnt in the right area ..
CENTCOMM01
I just popped in and saw this, so I guess just a wee bit late (3 pages late), but I thought I would make a comment or two. While I was reading your post I was wondering if maybe you copied my story - only subtracted two years from mine. The lightbulb came on for me at 48 (2 years ago) and I realized that my biggest problem all of these years was that I was transsexual and found this haven, where I spent the better part of several months glued to reading thousands of posts. I was also quite reluctant in the beginning, being 48 and wondering if I missed the transitioning train a couple decades ago. Well, after two years of therapy, 10 1/2 months on spironolactone and now 5 weeks on estrogen (also 10 1/2 months of anti-depressants) I am a totally different woman. I had gone from severely and painfully introverted and terrified about going out dressed, to being out in public just about every day as me. I'm not quite yet able to go full time, because of my living situation, but am looking to move in the next couple of months - at which time I will be going full time and never looking back. Once I got started on the spiro and the anti-depressants my confidence level soared. I starting going out a lot more, I felt so much more alive than I had ever felt before, for the first time in my life I felt comfortable (mostly) with myself. I really don't pass in public and get sired more than m'amed regardless of how I'm dressed (but I get the female pronouns enough that it makes me happy). The point is that now I am finally feeling like I'm who I was supposed to have been all of these decades and I honestly don't care what others say - because for the most part people are understanding and supportive - they just don't know enough about how to respond/address and when they screw it up it is most often out of ignorance as opposed to be cruel.
I think a good gauge is if you can look at the surgical processes and read about the meds and the other things that we sometimes have to endure during transition and you can still say that it is worth it and it is what I always wanted at some level, then that is all that matters. In the words of Nike - Just Do It! :)
Deanna
Quote from: Centcomm01 on July 05, 2011, 01:42:41 AM
just told another friend tonight , he reacted very positively .. also he knows a post-op gal that has already been though this from back in 2002 , we are setting up a get togather so we can get a plan of action on this , .. and yet again another of my friends " isnt the least bit surprised " ok how did i miss this and they didnt ... ???
LMAO
I still shake my head when I come out to old friends and tell them that I am trans and all and they respond with "Oh, that makes sense" or " I figured it was something like that", "hmm, I thought gay and in denial, but trans fits" and other such responses. Okay, if you knew this all those years ago, why didn't you enlighten me? :)
I have gone through the why didn't I do this 20-30 years ago and I wish I did this and that for the first year. I came to realization that I didn't do it then because I wasn't ready to do it then and I can't do anything about that now, all I can do is do it now. Yes, I wish I had known and done something about it years/decades ago and would have had all these years of happiness, but then I wouldn't be who I am today. Okay a broke freelance graphic designer working out of her bedroom and scrimping and pinching pennies is not the best life, but at least I am incredibly happy and getting out and enjoying my life with all my other broke friends :)
On the broke front, if you can, find a therapist who is willing to work on a sliding scale (I think you said you are already looking), you may also find a doctor who is wiling to do likewise. I was very fortunate to find an internist who works with a lot of transsexual patients and has a lot of experience in that area and he has been so incredibly generous with his services and I would not be here if it weren't for him and my therapist. As for the prescriptions, there are ways of getting them quite cheap. A lot of pharmacies have $4 generic drugs and my doctor writes the scrips for X many Xmg pills (at $4 for 30 or $10 for 90) per day. This way I get the same dosage as the far more expensive Ymg for a fraction of the cost (does this make any sense? We are not able to post specific dosages of specific meds). In other words there are ways of doing this right for little money and no insurance, you just need to do a bit more homework.
Best of luck to you.
Deanna
thanks Deanna - and yes i understand about a doc scribing a composite of drugs to make up a higher doseage my prymary does that or uses samples to make up the same dosage as a "brand name " . im not the best at research so its kinda tough and im waiting till i have cash in hand and chomping at the bit - sighs , should i just go ahead and try to schedule anyway and ask if they will wait for payment?
Quote from: Centcomm01 on July 14, 2011, 11:24:34 AM
thanks Deanna - and yes i understand about a doc scribing a composite of drugs to make up a higher doseage my prymary does that or uses samples to make up the same dosage as a "brand name " . im not the best at research so its kinda tough and im waiting till i have cash in hand and chomping at the bit - sighs , should i just go ahead and try to schedule anyway and ask if they will wait for payment?
It would certainly do you good to at least contact a therapist and explain your situation and circumstances - especially financial - and see where that takes you. They may well have options available locally that we don't know about or they may be willing to work with you around your finances. If they are good professionals that are compassionate and understanding of the issue, then they will feel obligated/inclined to do everything they can to help you. I have learned the hard way that there is no pain in asking for help and telling your dilemmas. Waiting for cash in hand could prolong your need far longer - because there will always be something come along to take that money.
For me, starting therapy (my life has been really messed up) was the best thing that could ever happen for me. My whole outlook on life, not just mine, improved immensely. That fresh perspective has helped me to gain the confidence to go out and get work. Granted I'm not getting even remotely wealthy, but I am getting work and I am making ends meet and the calamities are fewer and further apart.
Best wishes,
Deanna
sigh waiting for cash in hand has been the most distructive part of my life .. augh .. ok looks like i need to start calling some of these also can someone explain this ? >>>>>>AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist<<<< found it in my hunt also is it against the rules to post doctors here for advice ?
I'm not familiar with AASECT, but Certified Sex Therapist may not likely be the best choice, unless they are also familiar with transsexual issues. I would try searching for gender therapist, or transgender/transsexual therapist/counselor. I don't know anyone in your area that I could recommend. You may also want to search on this site for Tempe / Phoenix to see if there is anyone here that is from that area, or if there are any threads on therapists in your area. I don't believe there are any rules against posting doctors for advice, as long as you aren't marketing their practice or bad mouthing them without the chance to defend themselves.
Deanna
Quote from: Stephe on July 14, 2011, 09:20:38 AM
This quote disturbs me more that what you actually say. If you feel you are "defective", obviously you are going to fight depression for the rest of your life.
Clearly transitioning is going to radically change our lives and we will lose things in the process. I think anyone who goes into this process thinking things will basically stay the same is delusional and hasn't thought this through. Again, some people clearly need to seek therapy to get though this and probably other things in their life as well, but that isn't something that should be a requirement or assume everyone needs it.
You became suicidal, I am happier than I have ever been in my life. I don't think lack of therapy explains both does it?
for the record - that quote was not from my post.
found a head doctor to start the process , ill have my first appt next week any advice ? the receptionist was really cool , advised me that the doctor is concerened with making sure im making the right choice , warned me about some old school doctors that think they have to "cure" me ( sounded odd for him to say that ) and helping me learn how to pass , said they follow the "standards of care "
has 6 to 10 patients right now in various stages. she can write the "letter" as he put it - im a bit scared but looking forward to it as well
First to CentComm1, know the feeling about the therapist, I'm scheduled to see one this week. As to the "guidelines", being in healthcare its a must, HRT is not something to take lightly. I know some will say I don't know what I'm talking about, but Hormones especially, they regulate and change our bodies, good & bad. They are a drug, and as such need to be controlled, granted the provider(MD, etc) can have you over a barrel, misuse of Hormones can seriously injurer or KILL you. I don't like the idea of hoops to jump through and gate keepers to please either.
To Deana Renee, thank you for sharing your experiences! I am 53 and had asked myself the same question many times...WHY DIDN'T I DO IT EARLIER? I wasn't ready either of the three times prior that I tried or seriously wanted to.
Oh...by the way...when I first contacted the THERAPIST and told them why I called for an appointment they immediately said they don't give "LETTERS" the first session and that they follow the guidelines!Oh well, whatever...
Quote from: Centcomm01 on July 03, 2011, 10:37:47 PM
im 46 . and just now gaining the courage to realize whats wrong , sigh .. im worryed about age and pretty much everything that could go wrong can . my finances are garbage because of a lack of self worth i guess .. ive never felt "right" or correct .. and find myself at war with my self ive dabbled in CD and feel very comfy in womens clothing - oddly enough it doesnt cause a "omg" fetish reaction .. it just feels "better" i know the path im choosing is difficult and expensive , im worryed about medical issues . costs ect ect so far ive told a very few close friends and they have been positive .. my ex of 10 years was saying .. "ok.. why didnt you do it sooner .. im lucky in regards to looking my age i look younger .. im hoping to "pass:" i know i shouldnt expect miracles but im hoping to find people in my area that can help me .. im kinda lost on what to do first ( located in phx/tempe .. Arizona )any help or advice would be appreceated and apologys if this isnt in the right area ..
First 46 is OK, 46 years old for anyone is OK. It takes a while to know what you want out of life. I fought it since early teenager, dressed as a girl then/wanted always to be a girl before then, my mother knew, supported me but way in the ice ages, there was nothing anyone could do. My father a good man pushed & made me a boy I guess. I left a week after high school for colleger to get away be myself, etc........
Now mid fifities & still trying again, finally have the money & time since retired but I would trade it all to be 46 again.
Be smart, do what you can, enjoy as much of your feminine side as you can, if you have to be male for a job or money do it to make the money, plan things out, enjoy all you can of your feminine self, forget the other folks that give you a hard time