I know we all have family members, loved ones, etc., that refuse to accept us. And, if you are like me, I tend to focus more on getting family etc., to accept me, more than being with the handful of people that have no problem with my transition.
I was thinking about this today, and....there is this 70 year old woman, that has been a good friend for years. She had no problem with my transition and even told someone years ago that she wished I was her son. So, I called her and asked her if she would like me to come down next weekend and do some work for her around her place. She was so thankful and excited. And, that is what I am going to do. Not writing this for a pat on the back. Just thought I'd share this in case there are others, like myself, that many times, focus too much on the naysayers in our lives.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi.imgur.com%2F2YVrv.png&hash=be5d276f4a34eec89884345b9b9409158df337e2)
Hey Muffin. By your pics, I think you understand what I am going for here. Kind of a transsexual "pay it forward.' Connect with that one person that has always accepted you for you...and then call them. Let them know you appreciate their acceptance and then....oh, by the way, can I do this for you? It's an awesome feeling!
I like the way you think.
Because of my intelligence, naysayers aren't usually brave enough to say anything negative to my face (unless they're someone with a PhD or such, and then they think they can be a boss hog just because they've studied religiously-influenced textbooks from 1974...), but with that comes the fact that I really don't have any friends or family in my life. I'm too smart and realistic to manage to hold friendships with psuedo-intelligent folks who are all caught up in operating in dream rainbowland, and yet I'm too ugly and unfashionable to win the attention of the pretentious douches that I personality-wise actually get along with a lot better. I'm the worst of both worlds in the worst social position someone could have (no family, no friends, ect ect) and my health is failing rapidly so it's all like meh. I literally have no where to turn, and it doesn't matter that I'm one of the hardest working and most honest people I've ever met or heard of in my life.
So I've turned to alcoholism, which quite frankly is fun while you're drunk but horrible emotionally when it all comes down; I can have a grand old time just by myself when I'm drunk, but all day today, I just would have given anything to have had the bravery to take care of a few loose ends of my life (destroying computer and phone files, ect ect) and slit my throat for good. I've literally lost every single thing I've ever worked for in my life because of my health, and I've said before that I really am quite accomplished otherwise. I've never lost an ounce of pride in the things I've done or created in my life, but the physical side of my life is just taking it's toll; I don't even have a therapist or loved one to talk to about these things, and most medical professionals are conspiring against me literally because of the trans and male status; I've managed to afford one more appointment with my doctor tomorrow and if he denies an Acro test again, I'm giving him the boot.
However, I can give someone boots or high heels or sandals or whatever kind of kick up the rump I want to and it still doesn't solve anything. Nothing stops the days from passing, and with my health, that's what's destroying me most, is time. I just wish I was born a heck of a ton healthier, a lot prettier, and I wish that for once I had any sort of family or friend that could extend their arms to me in times of trouble; I've never once had that - I've never even had so much as a roommate, I've always had to do everything on my own, and it's incredibly expensive and most of the time downright impossible, and it's why, despite how smart, hardworking, and honest I am, I can't rub two quarters together. And because I have direct physical alienation, conspiring doctors, health problems, trauma, and an extremely profound history of abuse at the hands of my 'family', I do not have the means to pick myself up. Just not there.
I mean, I'm obviously good at surviving, I'm obviously living, but it's really the lack of happiness that takes it's toll, and no amount of therapy can fix that unless you have a loved one boosting your ego the entire time.
@Rhino: wow, I don't know what to say except that I hope you are seeing a therapist.
@mowdan6: that's a really awesome story! It is so nice to know that there are those who will accept you for you no matter what. I think we all have stories like this from time to time...an unknown or what seems to be an influential person actually speaking volumes in your life.
It is those experiences that makes life so precious! Thank you for sharing!
Well, I'm hoping to see Dr. Lisa Beavers, she's the spokesperson of the Vals of Tennessee (the officially largest resource website and group for transgenders in the northern Tennessee area). She's the closest gender therapist and she's two hours away. Every other therapist or doctor I've seen is just moronic and stuck in the 70's. A gender friendly endocrinologist is also in the same area as Dr. Beavers, hoping to see them too.
Sadly, it's almost as though I'd need to pack my bags and move to the city where these two doctors are located; it may be months before Beavers would give me a letter, and I can't afford the absolutely huge price tag of traveling all the way to the offices and back to where I live every time I turn around. I sent Dr. Beavers a informative email about my situation and I even asked her about a sliding scale payment, but she rudely replied and just said "Do you have any resources nearer to you instead?" and when I said "No, I explained in the email about my situation.", she didn't reply back. So I don't even know if she's a good choice.
Call Dr Carol Clark (if you google her she is the first thing that will pop up)
She does phone consultations if you cannot find anyone and she does sliding pay....but dont ask her like that up front....just tell her you have very little to work with
Quote from: RhinoP on July 10, 2011, 05:28:40 PM
Well, I'm hoping to see Dr. Lisa Beavers, she's the spokesperson of the Vals of Tennessee (the officially largest resource website and group for transgenders in the northern Tennessee area). She's the closest gender therapist and she's two hours away. Every other therapist or doctor I've seen is just moronic and stuck in the 70's. A gender friendly endocrinologist is also in the same area as Dr. Beavers, hoping to see them too.
Sadly, it's almost as though I'd need to pack my bags and move to the city where these two doctors are located; it may be months before Beavers would give me a letter, and I can't afford the absolutely huge price tag of traveling all the way to the offices and back to where I live every time I turn around. I sent Dr. Beavers a informative email about my situation and I even asked her about a sliding scale payment, but she rudely replied and just said "Do you have any resources nearer to you instead?" and when I said "No, I explained in the email about my situation.", she didn't reply back. So I don't even know if she's a good choice.
I was in the same boat as you, the neares therapist was over 2 hrs away amd costly at that, the nest one that was a better price is on another island so that is out of the question, so I went with dr graham peveller, he does online and telephone and even email sessions, he is only $45 per session and I got my letter in 6 sessions, I think he does help people with money problems too.
He has a lot of credentials and is good at what he does, just google him and you willl see. Aloha.
Jennie
RhinoP.
I am a/rpofessor of medicine. If you want to talk pm me. I also have a Dear Cindy column.
I'm real.
Ask.
I'm in Australia and I am alive.
And I love people so? Drink into oblivion or talk?
Cindy