Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transitioning => Coming out of the closet => Topic started by: xXRebeccaXx on July 10, 2011, 12:26:48 AM

Title: Im not coming out to my friends, im too scared.
Post by: xXRebeccaXx on July 10, 2011, 12:26:48 AM
They're all extremely homo/transpohic and I couldn't stand the thought of them rejecting me, im just going to leave town and go live with my aunt. Is this the right thing to do?
Title: Re: Im not coming out to my friends, im too scared.
Post by: spacial on July 10, 2011, 02:57:17 AM
Not sure. But for what it's worth, it's probably what I would do.

Title: Re: Im not coming out to my friends, im too scared.
Post by: Cindy on July 10, 2011, 03:04:15 AM
It is your life.

You walk the walk and talk the talk.

To an extent running away from your friends can liberate you, if they are douche bags. But be careful, are they or are you running away.

Your call either way.

Cindy
Title: Re: Im not coming out to my friends, im too scared.
Post by: justmeinoz on July 10, 2011, 05:09:48 AM
Starting afresh somewhere else can be a good move, no history, no need to explain to people you rarely see, and the chance to surround yourself with a network of the sort of friends you need now.  It sounds like your old friends have stayed the same while you have grown, so it's probably time to seek new ones.

I was talking to a lesbian couple I know well, this afternoon, and one of them said the same thing to me about my impending move interstate. If you are only associating with the sort of friends you prefer, obviously they will just want to see you happy.  End result, little need to worry what the outside world thinks.

Hope your move goes well.
Karen.
Title: Re: Im not coming out to my friends, im too scared.
Post by: RhinoP on July 10, 2011, 04:21:52 PM
Well, even beyond the gender transition, you have to ask if these current friends are really friends that you're even interested in; friendship is so much more than 'not feeling lonely'. Do these friends make you laugh? Do they do nice things for you? Do they treat you respectful as it is? If they are homophobic, it really sounds as though they'd be masculine douchebags, which are usually never great friends. However, it's a different story if you're attracted to these guys, where we often give up our own feelings in sake of being around someone who makes us experience a bit of sexual euphoria and warmth. That type of situation can make it even harder to let go.  :(
Title: Re: Im not coming out to my friends, im too scared.
Post by: xXRebeccaXx on July 10, 2011, 07:01:40 PM
Quote from: Cindy James on July 10, 2011, 03:04:15 AM
It is your life.

You walk the walk and talk the talk.

To an extent running away from your friends can liberate you, if they are douche bags. But be careful, are they or are you running away.

Your call either way.

Cindy

Im not running away, im moving :), besides im like the daughter my aunt always wanted(she has one she just likes me better)
Title: Re: Im not coming out to my friends, im too scared.
Post by: Xanetia on July 14, 2011, 10:48:07 AM
I wish you luck, leaving people behind that you care about is a hard thing to do. Sometimes people just don't understand, no matter how much we might like them to. But your Aunt sounds like a good woman, I hope your life will be more joyful and the new friends that you will make will accept you just as you are.
Title: Re: Im not coming out to my friends, im too scared.
Post by: hilah.hayley on July 15, 2011, 10:40:38 AM
Quote from: xxJuliaxx on July 10, 2011, 07:01:40 PM
(she has one she just likes me better)

LOL!!! <3 that! :)
Title: Re: Im not coming out to my friends, im too scared.
Post by: LilKittyCatZoey on July 17, 2011, 05:15:37 AM
Quote from: xxJuliaxx on July 10, 2011, 07:01:40 PM
Im not running away, im moving :), besides im like the daughter my aunt always wanted(she has one she just likes me better)

HEHE i would do that if i could!  :D :D :D :D