I was wondering, for those of you who are in a long-term relationship, where you met.
Awhile back I tried a few of the TG dating sites but found mostly men and all of them ->-bleeped-<-s; I resolved myself to being
alone until after SRS, until I felt right with myself. Now that it's done I'd like to start dating again but I have to admit I
really have no idea where to look. Any suggestions? :)
I met my wife at a roller rink, way back in 1964.
perfume counter at the local dept store....he turned out to be a dud! :)
I met my SO on Match. Granted it was as a man. But, we are opening the doors to our relationship, to make sure both of our needs are met. So, I too will kind of be in this with you. I am currently looking for places to meet open minded non-->-bleeped-<-s... It is a very daunting prospect; especially after being monogamous for so long.
Met my best friend in '82 going to grad school at night. (That is 1882.) ;)
I prefer to meet people where I visit. Great places are school, grocery stores, libraries, Costco, Home Depot, and other places you enjoy. I never enjoyed going to a bar to pick up someone.
I have a number of friends that enjoy walking their dog with me. It is a great way to talk.
It is easy to make friends. Let romantic thing happen if it happens. Of course I have not had sex with anyone this current century but we still have 88 years left in this century! I'm an optimist!
I just met someone a few weeks ago at a trans support group meeting. I'm also a part of a lesbian social group that has a few possibilities if things don't work out with my current girl.
I met my partner on the internet. She lives so far away from me, but I don't mind. Everyday I feel her close in my heart. :)
I met Sevan and hir exwife (wife back then) in a public park.
Hir exwife and I hit it off in seconds. Sevan didn't like me, at all. Then one day the two came too visit me and the exwife made Sevan share a bottle of Crown Royal with me that Sevan didn't want to share. The ex then started playing video games as Sev' and I got sloshed. We bonded over that bottle of Crown Royal and have been fast friends ever since.
The ex turned out to be a bad person and I had no issues taking Sevan from her.
2 years latter Sevan and I got married.
:)
I meet my wife at Girl Scout summer camp --- I was the camp director and she was one of my volunteers.
My wife and I met in highschool, but we were'nt a couple until a few years afterward.
Jessica, I also joined a TG dating website a while back as a pre op TS woman seeking a straight man. There were SO MANY local area men after me I was suprised. There were so many I had to cancel for a while, it was a job just reading all their emails. Some looked like very sincere men just wanting/needing a woman.
I was playing guitar on stage for a play, mood music, I had to wear large boots, since I was sitting they gave me the biggest pair that didn't fit anyone else. They kept slipping off :laugh: :laugh:.
A girl came up me after the play and said she loved the boots. Twenty nine years next Sunday. She is now totally disabled and cannot live with me. . I love her as more now as the day we met.
Cindy
Partner, hey...
the many (mostly very temporary) ones I met are gone by now.
There is none of late. Old girl's situation?
Yet being still pre-op, in any case put a plug into that notion.
I'd have HUGE apprehensions to deal with that, much as I may dream. OK, never say never.
As for what internet dating goes... really Francis?!
Sounds like ONE job to filter through what you experienced.
I wouldn't know were to start.
Years back after my divorce I tried a dating agency (pre internet) and what a lot of BS info that brought about.
Pulling the plug on that one was not easy since money was involved. Every nut and her auntie was a sex-bomb.
Quite awful, never forgot that yet. The mortified women, the learning how to best get rid of them once you new it was no good, the awfulness of having hurt someone's feelings, one sad roadshow that was. Mercy ->-bleeped-<-s, that lot. Do I sound damaged? I guess...
So, maybe it be worth a different thread "How to screen internet dating offers?"
Axelle
PS: I'd so ironic if I'd get all the above handed right back, including mercy-->-bleeped-<-s the lot.
To horrid to contemplate. So much for blind dating... OUCH!!!!
This is one of the things that concerns me about transition.
Once I am postoperative I fear it will be difficult to find a straight man that accepts me for me.
As I'm 27 and would love to eventually start a family I fear that transition will prevent me from doing this.
Even if I could pass, the inevitable 'so where'd you go to school', 'what was your first date like' questions will come up. I don't want to lie, I think that's a bad way to start a long term relationship, but telling the truth will scare off e vast majority of guys.
:( I want to transition but I don't want to miss out on having a family.
Quote from: caitlin_adams on July 31, 2011, 04:26:50 AM
:( I want to transition but I don't want to miss out on having a family.
that right there is probly the biggest thing that scares me about transition
I don't quite get it.
You want to start a family, and then transition, maybe get a divorce... etc. etc.
That's some pretty far-out thinking for me.
Note: Your GID will only get worse with age. If you know even more so.
Axelle
Quote from: Axélle on July 31, 2011, 08:24:40 AM
I don't quite get it.
You want to start a family, and then transition, maybe get a divorce... etc. etc.
I think what Cait was saying was that she was afraid transition would leave too many uneasy first date answers for her to be able to start a family AFTER transition, rather then start a family and THEN transition. I would agree with both of you (though Cait isn't as direct in saying it), the longer you wait the more of a life you establish in the wrong gender, the harder it is to integrate once you start living as the correct gender.
I've had too much of a life as a male to pretend it didn't exist, all I can do rather then run from it is to turn and face it.
Regan, I do wish you're right.
I mean, even holding back SRS in order to start a family, the way I read it, sounds just way off-the-wall to me. If SRS be on your agenda, that is.
We all do have our ideas and sharing those may make us think things over, - either which way.
I did start a family like that and it left such a lot of pain in it's wake after 12 years and a divorce.
I just didn't know then what I know today. But if you do know... OMG. All I can say.
But thanks for attempting to clarify it,
Axelle
Despite what the TOS says, I met mine right here. She was a member here and we just hit it off. She lives on the other side of the pond and I am in Oregon.
I am hoping soon I shall join her there.
Janet --- wow! Lucky girl :-)
Now--- lesson 101 and how not to get jealous, eh.
What side of the pond I'd be sitting I wonder.
In the middle of that bath tub, more by the head end.
Axelle
Hehe. She is in Cornwall. Soon to be my new home.
Still looking... I have no clue how to meet people though, but I've been single for 3.5 years and am sick of it. All my friends are with someone and keep going on double dates with people and I'm feeling more and more left out.
Past relationships were all chance encounters, but it's been six years since I've had anything resembling that.
I keep having this fear that my years of social ineptitude will result in me never learning about this part of life and being alone forever. I also recently came out of the closet that I've been into guys my entire life, but dated girls to make the feelings go away. Now I have no clue what I'm doing and not sure any straight guy will ever accept me until surgery, which is years away at my current income potential. Even then, who knows...
I met my "significant only" , I like significant only better than other because other implies there is more than one and for me there is only my one and only "SO"
Anyway we were friend since high school.
I think School and church is good places to meet people, aloha.
Jennie
Quote from: regan on July 31, 2011, 08:34:52 AM
I think what Cait was saying was that she was afraid transition would leave too many uneasy first date answers for her to be able to start a family AFTER transition, rather then start a family and THEN transition.
Exactly.
I'm not proposing to have a family and then transition, not at all. I am concerned that transition in my mid twenties leaves me with too much baggage to start a family. Frankly I'm resigning myself to the idea that for me transition means forfeiting the expectation of finding a life partner and the expectation that to have kids I will need to find an egg donor and gestational carrier and enter into a surrogacy arrangement, neither cheap nor easy.
Quote from: drkiara on July 31, 2011, 04:30:53 AM
that right there is probly the biggest thing that scares me about transition
That scares you about transition? If that scares you consider starting that family and entertwining your life with someone, only to have the GID finally put enough pressure on you that you have to transition after you have the house, cars, kids, inlaws, etc. If you think your family will give you a hard time now, wait til you have a heartbroken spouse and confused kids in the mix.
If you have GID enough in your late teens or early twenties and you are even considering transitioning, get some serious therapy and figure out NOW if you are a man or woman. If you are truely transsexual, the GID will only get worse and you will end up suicidal or miserable or transitioning at a later age causing a lot of trauma to those around you.
RIGHT! Jessica you put those words out there for me. Thank you!
I think the OP is badly confused in her way of presenting her case.
It is all forgivable IF YOU DO NOT KNOW (what do you pretend you don't know, eh?)... but as you say to start a family and THEN get moving, oh my.
I feel sick to my stomach.
You are there right now Jessica, I been there. Just too much pain all around...
'nough said,
Axelle
The complications arising from beginning transition after having started a family must be incredibly difficult. I can't imagine what it would be like having to explain it to your children or going through a divorce, especially if children are involved. It must really hurt.
Several months ago my partner left me. We'd been together six years and it was incredibly difficult, she was attracted to one of her co-workers. I'm lucky we didn't have kids.
That said, I'm still scared that transition will prevent me from starting a family, but as stated above I'm investing all my hope in surrogacy.
I met my wife in a local gay bar 8yers ago. She and I are trying to have a kid befor the hrt turns me starile. My wife is very supportive of my choese to change my gender. Her mother even told me should i lose everything that she would be happy to have her new daughter live with her i was so happy.
I have 2 ex's and two kids but i never really had a LTR. In my present condition i doubt i will ever find someone who wants someone like me. However, the door is always open. Oh i may soon be building my addition to my house which means a bathroom laundryroom and composting toilet. yeaaa
Quote from: caitlin_adams on August 01, 2011, 08:28:08 AM
Exactly.
I'm not proposing to have a family and then transition, not at all. I am concerned that transition in my mid twenties leaves me with too much baggage to start a family. Frankly I'm resigning myself to the idea that for me transition means forfeiting the expectation of finding a life partner and the expectation that to have kids I will need to find an egg donor and gestational carrier and enter into a surrogacy arrangement, neither cheap nor easy.
Adopting children is a fantastic gift to person that is adopted. A child is abandoned and someone else takes them into their home and loves them. That is very generous.
Divorced men with children can marry a MTF and there is instant family.
..........................
Actually I would not know how to date. I guess men still ask women out on dates. Earlier part of last century I did asking. Maybe I could buy some blue pills for an old geezer and tell him here take this blue pill and if you mix them up you will grow breasts. To which he might reply, "What did you say Sir?"
Going out with MTF's has been fun. They do not consider me a male and they like males so that that connection will not happen but we have fun. I have one MTF with absolutely great hair for an older person. We are like "Odd Couple or maybe Old Couple" when we go into building supply stores. We are a hoot!
It is awkward and uncomfortable for me. I would never expect to find a great friend as I had. She remains a best friend but really does not want to be romantic with another girl. I can understand that. She would have preferred for me to have had cancer, lost my legs, or have died. I hope she didn't really mean that.
I probably need to find "Super Geek"! ...and we can be in Geek Heaven for rest of our lives.
Hmm sounds like a best seller, "Dating Guide for MTF."
I joined a new site, that has got to be the best I've ever found! It matches people by relationship match percent, friendship percent, and enemy percent. It is inclusive of all sexuality's(though not all genders >:( m/f are the only options). And there are people on there honestly looking for personal connection above all else :o! And, the icing on the cake... ...It's FREE! ok cupid dot com ;)
PS
My wife is on there too, and we're a, match 99%, friend 85%, and enemy 4%! That is the highest I've ever heard of!
Oh, oh,
there is a load of cupit.com scam info out there... just to put one link of so many:
http://www.shamscam.com/cupidcom-scam-a2497.html (http://www.shamscam.com/cupidcom-scam-a2497.html)
To good to be true? Yeah like most always.
Axellle
Not cupid.com, but okcupid.com. It is completely free, and not many ads... The fact of the matter is that you can google, "any dating site + scam", and get results. Typically, it will be because of users and not the site it's self. This site does not hound me for money (nor really have many features that aren't free), I can contact people without paying anything, it is left to me to filter who I contact, and what information I give to them (but, that goes for the real world as well...). I have found it a very comfortable site, but to each their own.
OK...!!
kind a close to some problem site though.
Thanks,
Axelle