Hi everyone I am new to the forum. I dont identify with being an androgyne on the inside but on the outside, people are always asking "is that a man or a woman?" This has caused great depression and social anxiety. I am not trying to look like a man, I just have very strong and sharp facial features and as I mentioned in another thread Im suspecting I have some kind of genetic disorder as I am very unhealthy. I am experiencing great social anxiety. I was wondering if anyone else here can relate to this. Also I was hoping I could send some photos to anyone willing to help and evaluate what I can do to make me look more feminine. Any one know of any good ffs surgeons?
The androgyn section is aimed at folks who *want* to be somewhere in between. So...such comments by others might well be pleasing to those who identify as androgyn (or third gender, two-spirit, what have you)
I'm very sorry to hear that this causes you anxiety and upset :( That's never a good feeling at all.
I suspect the MtF section would have plenty of great suggestions regarding FFS. I can't say I've heard anyone in this section ask about that surgery (or...anything within that group of surgeries, more accuratly)
After you've posted I think something like 15 posts you'd be able to share pictures and then people will be able to make comments on the pictures you'd share. Of course, if you don't desire to post pictures publiclly there is a "Just for us" section that I'm sure you'd find fits you, and then only people within that section would be able to see.
Hi! Thank-you very much for your advice. I guess I didn't think about it that way, I wish I could switch with an androgynous person who looks very femme and then we would both be happy! Lol
Oh man...if such a transformation was possible!!! :laugh:
Not everyone wants to be somewhere in the middle but I'm fairly certain most everyone can relate to the social anxiety you're talking about at one time in their life. It sucks.
Quote from: espo on July 16, 2011, 12:34:50 AM
Not everyone wants to be somewhere in the middle but I'm fairly certain most everyone can relate to the social anxiety you're talking about at one time in their life. It sucks.
Yes thank-you it makes life very miserable. What is worse is friends/family will not admit it is a problem and think it is a mental problem with me. Maybe that is because they see me as a woman because they know I am. It is very hard.
I can relate to your problem what to do. Strugging every day to fit a role that I feel is not really mind is hard to live with
My long post just vanished. I'll give you the short version: Don't listen to friends or family
If no one else has offered to help, let me know and I'll pm you my email addy. I'm not much for makeup but I will honestly try my best to help.
Quote from: espo on July 16, 2011, 02:52:49 PM
If no one else has offered to help, let me know and I'll pm you my email addy. I'm not much for makeup but I will honestly try my best to help.
Hi espo, I posted my photos in the "Do I Pass?" thread, pg 93. If you could take a look it would be great
My first impression was 'Wow, she's pretty' but after taking a lengthy examination at each photo ( which I would never do to any one in r/l ) I think its your jaw line that could be causing the andro confusion. BUT I'm totally surprised people would be so vocal or adamant about you looking like a man.
Quote from: espo on July 16, 2011, 05:46:09 PM
My first impression was 'Wow, she's pretty' but after taking a lengthy examination at each photo ( which I would never do to any one in r/l ) I think its your jaw line that could be causing the andro confusion. BUT I'm totally surprised people would be so vocal or adamant about you looking like a man.
It happens, some days more than others maybe my hormone fluctuations really affect my appearance! What do you think I should do? I want to get some surgery or something to fix this. So do you agree I look more andro or masculine than the average woman? Would you peg me as a possible mtf if you saw me on the street? Honest opinion please.
Honest opinion is I wouldn't do anything because thats exactly the path I'm taking with myself. I don't believe I would think anything other then 'she's pretty' if I ran into you on the street but if you came into Susans and said you were a MtF I would believe you and think Damn!! awesome transformation but I could say that with many many people I see in my own neighbourhood.
Is your voice feminine ?
And no, you don't look masculine at all. I would say a slight andro edge to your looks.
Quote from: espo on July 16, 2011, 06:26:59 PM
Honest opinion is I wouldn't do anything because thats exactly the path I'm taking with myself. I don't believe I would think anything other then 'she's pretty' if I ran into you on the street but if you came into Susans and said you were a MtF I would believe you and think Damn!! awesome transformation but I could say that with many many people I see in my own neighbourhood.
Is your voice feminine ?
And no, you don't look masculine at all. I would say a slight andro edge to your looks.
Hi espo, as far as I know I have a femme voice, people always call me "ma'am" on the phone.
Ive always equated andro as being masculine for a women, interesting some people see it as different
Thanks so much for your input espo!
Quote from: laurad on July 16, 2011, 06:46:10 PM
Ive always equated andro as being masculine for a women, interesting some people see it as different
Okay that was kinda dumb for me to say that but what I meant was you don't look like a man, a little boyish maybe but def not a man.
Laurad, you could gain some weight. Your "masculine" looks are actually the bones.
On the other hand, you could take this "andro"thang, and run with it.
For example, you could wear a tuxedo to some party! That would throw so many people off, I can imagine their reactions!
Funny.
And then you could do all sorts of gender mixing, like, some days extremely femenine and other days extemely masculine and in between and you could train your voice to sound like a guy at will so that when people say "ma'am" you tell them "I'm A Sir!" and when they do call you sir, you tell them "I'm a lady~" and then if people ask your gender just throw a coin and say "heads, today I'm guy!" and then you'll laugh at them poor people victims of their own ignorance.
*Breathes*
...Or you could not. Whatever, it's your life.
Oh, another thing, if people give you trouble about you looking like a man, punch them in the nose. And then tell them "how's that for a girl!?" Or whatever oneliner you can throw there. Just make it cool.
Or...
You could not worry about it; enjoy yourself, seek every opportunity for a good time, a shining memory and human connection and let anyone who actually cared figure out what you intended by it all.
but where's the blood in that ?
Quote from: espo on July 16, 2011, 07:30:15 PM
Okay that was kinda dumb for me to say that but what I meant was you don't look like a man, a little boyish maybe but def not a man.
Ok thanks. I usually dont see a lot of "boyish" girls out there.... well maybe I do ...lol
i had a look at the pictures. your face looks really feminine except from the front, where "something" makes you look a bit more masculine. but even from this angle your face in itself is still beautiful. i would suggest that you experiment with makeup. find a way to soften up your facial features, use natural colors, and do something about your eyebrows and hair to frame your face in a better way. i really think a natural sweet smile will do a lot more than any surgery would for you
and do take pride in your own womanhood if you want people to stop misgendering you. tell people off like only a woman could whenever they call you a man. if you don't know how, ask a feminist, they have quite a few opinions on degrading a woman like that
Quote from: Taka on July 17, 2011, 06:32:02 PM
i had a look at the pictures. your face looks really feminine except from the front, where "something" makes you look a bit more masculine. but even from this angle your face in itself is still beautiful. i would suggest that you experiment with makeup. find a way to soften up your facial features, use natural colors, and do something about your eyebrows and hair to frame your face in a better way. i really think a natural sweet smile will do a lot more than any surgery would for you
and do take pride in your own womanhood if you want people to stop misgendering you. tell people off like only a woman could whenever they call you a man. if you don't know how, ask a feminist, they have quite a few opinions on degrading a woman like that
Hi Taka, thanks for your advice! I was just wondering if you personally would see me as a man or would know I was a woman even with a more masculine look to the front of my face.
i personally saw a woman. i'd only see a 'possibly man' if i started over-thinking things and looking very closely (doing that usually takes me to the wrong conclusions), but the all important gut feeling said woman at first. so just straighten your back and walk with confidence. we can all see that you're a woman, and those who can't see that must have been blinded by your beauty
Hi Laura,
I looked at your pics and you definitely look like a woman, a very attractive one too. :) Your greatest asset I think, are your beautiful high cheekbones. There is a slight masculinity there, maybe the chin area I would say.
If this area is a problem, you could have a consultation with a plastic surgeon. A good one will tell you what can and cannot be achieved by surgery.
I'm really flabbergasted by the hide of some people who have mis-gendered you. They must have poor eyesight or are just being bitches.
Anywho, I hope you can achieve what you're looking for and find happiness. I have noticed that as woman age, even the most feminine, can start looking slightly masculine if they have a strong bone structure. :-\