Ok sorry about the title but I couldn't think up a better one. So recently I've been thinking about getting a job but getting held back by my legal name. Now I can't change it unless I have money so I have to have the job but then there's the chance of getting outed. :-\ Another place would be like at a hospital. You have to get care sometimes but then you have to give out your name and generally people are like "he" at first but then at your name it's all, "she". I mean come on, is the whole world geared toward everyone fitting in little gender boxes? Does everyone HAVE to know what's in my pants? Sorry. Just had to rant.
I've been full-time for 5 years, and still can't get my name changed because of a little legal matter in California that I can't afford to take care of. However, in a lot of states now, you can get your name changed on your driver's license without having to go through much hassle. In California I was able to change my name and gender marker on my ID with a quick form filled out by my doctor, and I know for certain that Colorado, Oregon, and Washington have the same laws. You might want to check if it's possible where you live.
In most states the definition of resident is not where you physically reside, but where you intend to reside. If you rent a post office box for a physical address (from a box rental company, not the post office) plus can honestly say someday you'd like to make the state home you may well qualify. Check the state's rules though...and most of the time the websites addressing the issues don't have the residency rules so you will have to dig a little deeper.
I understand what you mean. I am in the grey area where I am going as my male name, but since my name isn't legally changed, I go back to being female in the minds of people who have to hear my legal name. It's annoying and the bureaucratic nightmare that is the provincial government is pissing me off with their slowness.