So frustrated, now mid 50's, I've always been a girl since chillhood, always dressed normal as a girl/woman all my life, always just wanted/needed to be a normal happy pretty girl/woman. I tried so many times with some HRT & to live full time/normal but my beard & body hair always just killed my emotions. I so want to come out full time to all as a normal nice woman but just too much hair, beard, body hair, etc. Every time I try full time the hair just kills me, stops me cold. I'm quite passable & nice for a short period of time & feel great for a while until all this ugly hair/beard comes back. What can I do? How can I finally move forward with one life?
Electrostatics the word or laser if you have black hair. Simply remove your hair permanently and your good to go!
I'm mid 50's had laser no facial or boob hair. Have my back waxed feel good. I'm on spiro which cuts down T so you get less hairy anyway, plus the effects of E and P.
Hang in Sis. if you need specifics pm me.
Cindy
Thanks, so frustrated & trapped. Know it takes time to change but so much ugly hair everywhere in the wrong places. I hate it.
Quote from: Francis Ann Burgett on July 21, 2011, 04:24:39 AM
So frustrated, now mid 50's, I've always been a girl since chillhood, always dressed normal as a girl/woman all my life, always just wanted/needed to be a normal happy pretty girl/woman. I tried so many times with some HRT & to live full time/normal but my beard & body hair always just killed my emotions. I so want to come out full time to all as a normal nice woman but just too much hair, beard, body hair, etc. Every time I try full time the hair just kills me, stops me cold. I'm quite passable & nice for a short period of time & feel great for a while until all this ugly hair/beard comes back. What can I do? How can I finally move forward with one life?
Just keep having lots of laser on a regular basis! maybe every two or three months at a time!
Hi Hun
No idea where you are on the trip.
Try doing feminine things. Do nail polish, hands and feet a manicure and a pedicure, get your eyebrows shaped. The beauticians don't care, they are all for it. I get my eyes done every fortnight and have a booking. I'm often there in male clothing for personal reasons. I'm still referred to as Cindy and no bats an eye lid ( a bad pun :laugh:).
I had about 8 laser sessions to get rid of the beard. I need to go back every now and again especially for the upper lip. There was no hesitation and no problems having laser. In fact they are very loving woman who have been very positive in helping me.
Keep going it does get easier.
Cindy
If your hair is dark, laser will work better than if it is fair. I have no dark facial hair now, but do have all the grey and white ones. At least a shave keeps them hidden fairly easily.
I had mine done at a place that was able to use a higher powered medical laser, and it took 6 sessions at 6 week intervals to get it all. The hair has a 6 week growth cycle, so the treatment needs to be done at the same interval, otherwise some of them can be stumulated into growing again.
I didn't notice much change after the first two sessions, but a lot after that. It is less painful if you shave closely, as there is less hair to absorb the light and convert it to heat. Aloe Vera gel and icepacks can help relieve the discomfort and redness afterwards.
The girls I saw were great, and very supportive. They had dealt with the occaissional trans woman before so no problems at all. Lots of girl talk during the session too.
Karen.
Thanks girl friends, just so frustrated I could cry. I look & feel so normal as Francis, truly love being a woman, always have, then this ugly hair always grows out over & over again. Guess just part of life.
Calm down.
Enjoy being you rather than being revolted by not being you.
It takes time.
Take the time and enjoy the road trip. Even if it is a hard one.
Cindy
I had a girlfriend a couple of years ago who had a fair bit of facial hair. Although she was self-conscious about it, it didn't bother me at all. In fact I didn't even see it unless she happened to point it out. So don't beat yourself up over it.
I was the same about my thinning scalp hair until I saw my Gender Therapist for my regular session last Friday. He pointed out that with my hairpiece nobody could see it, and even without it I couldn't unless I looked in a mirror. I figure he is right so I should just get on with living.
Best avoid mirrors as much as posssible by doing more interesting things. :-*
Karen.
There is also the fact it is extremely rude to point out if you can notice a girls little bit of facial hair so Karen is perfectly correct :D
I'm feeling better, ordered Tria laser system to try on facial hair. Plan meet with therapist next week, start back on HRT full speed. Also feel great about orchiectomy to just remove 2 things & leave the skin to help with a normal depth vagina when I have GRS. Nice day of shopping, love thrift stores, you can really find some nice clothes shoes etc. if you shop slow. Made new friends with women there that operate the store. Went pretty close as Francis, wig makeup, but real plain dull clothes. It was fun.
two things will help you, 1. dont try not to act like a male
2. dont try to act like female
just be you, because no one else can
oh yeah i fiorgot, you have to pay your dues just like anyone else. Those of us further along in our transition have been through it. I will get a LOT better. Im italiana, and my facial hair was terrible. I have done 7 treatments and now all i have are a couople greys. Its HARD but you can get through it. If I can do it, literally anyone can
I know your pain; I'm fighting the great hair battle myself. I'll give myself what I call a "makeup shave" (once with the grain, once against it, then side to side anywhere that still needs a touchup) and I still have a five o'clock shadow. I'm saving up for laser, but it's been a slow road. I've tried the Tria and had basically no results. It may work great for other girls, but it did nothing for me. If I could just get it to migrate to my head instead....
Oddly enough, I don't mind the body hair. Shaving it in the shower feels oddly therapeutic...almost like meditation.
Hang in there, trust that life will bring you what you need eventually. :)
I know how you feel :-(
I want to be full time so bad, but my courage has sank.
Ive been rejected by people I love
My expectations of people whom I thought would be allies havent been met.
People who were my friends who said they would accept me, now talk down to me as if they are somehow more superior.
My 5' oclock shadow will not stay off my face. Had my first laser treatment 3 weeks ago, so Im hoping in time...
I have pock marks that make foundation look like a butt turd, I am having the derma roller done this friday though
My shoulders and biceps and triceps and forearms look like I could hurt someone. Im working on it though.
Thats my list of things that stand out to ME.
This weekend I decided to hide in the house.
My courage from last week must of been in the water that the spiro makes you pee out :-(
Had a little fun shopping at Walmart this morning, I looked pretty nice, bought some nice things, the girl clerk could tell I was kinda male, I did not dress up much or shave much. I told her first thing I was enjoying being a woman, she was very nice, she said I looked OK, I was real nice to her & we talked for quite a while, there were very few people in the store. I really enjoy being myself to all but such a long way to go.
Way early in life I would go to gay type bars, dressed nice. Owners always wanted me to join the show on stage but it was not my cup of tea. I did not date anyone even though all men hit on me, maybe i should have????. I just enjoyed dressing & being myself feminine among a lot of people. That type bar is a good place to use to try out & see if you pass any real life test.
All girl friends please have a nice Sunday.
Thanks for comments on damn hair, it's tough no doubt.
why are you tripping so hard? if thats you in your avatar pic, then your more of a perfectionist than i am
Quote from: jillian on July 24, 2011, 06:07:57 AM
I know how you feel :-(
I want to be full time so bad, but my courage has sank.
Ive been rejected by people I love
My expectations of people whom I thought would be allies havent been met.
People who were my friends who said they would accept me, now talk down to me as if they are somehow more superior.
My 5' oclock shadow will not stay off my face. Had my first laser treatment 3 weeks ago, so Im hoping in time...
I have pock marks that make foundation look like a butt turd, I am having the derma roller done this friday though
My shoulders and biceps and triceps and forearms look like I could hurt someone. Im working on it though.
Thats my list of things that stand out to ME.
This weekend I decided to hide in the house.
My courage from last week must of been in the water that the spiro makes you pee out :-(
my heart goes out to you. I can relate, the same happen ed to me many years ago.
Super Kitty, You look great, nice & thin & pretty. I'm so glad for you. I only wish I were thin, I'm not fat but I sure look male. I'm trying but there may not be hope for me to be as pretty as you.
That is not my picture in avatar, I may post one soon, but just not pretty enough to post almost.
Appointment tomorrow morning to start back on HRT. So many times I've started & stopped. This time I hope to slow down & not expect too much too quick. Before I always got frustrated that change was not quick enough & stopped.
Thanks for all contacts on Susan's Place. All of you have helped me a lot.
Good luck to you on our inprovements to life.
Quote from: Cindy James on July 21, 2011, 05:46:13 AM
get your eyebrows shaped. The beauticians don't care, they are all for it. I get my eyes done every fortnight and have a booking.
I wish I could agree with this but a few weeks ago I went to the 3 beauticians in my local area, 2 claimed the person who does eyebrows was on holiday & looked dead shifty as they said it (my bs detector almost overloaded), the other place told me bluntly that they don't do men (i'm tempted to report them for discrimination)
Quote from: superkitty036 on July 24, 2011, 12:05:32 AM
two things will help you, 1. dont try not to act like a male
2. dont try to act like female
just be you, because no one else can
best... advice .. EVAR... made of win
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2F2.bp.blogspot.com%2F_FGhipZH7DII%2FS7TRM7D4hjI%2FAAAAAAAAEXA%2Fy1HaS0PoPmc%2Fs320%2Fspockwin.jpg&hash=2380c0b9375ed57d957455985945e44a669aca6b)
When things were coming to a head for me - time to ->-bleeped-<- or get off the pot - I had had about 20 hours of electro, mostly on my upper lip, which was my biggest tell. The rest of my face was virgin to the electro needle. I have never had laser. Fortunately I was 57 and many of the facial hairs had turned white. But there was still enough that made it hard to completely hide.
Work got slow and I was asked to sit home for a while or take a layoff. Work at the union hall was really bad so I opted for sitting home. I was told it would be 6-8 weeks. So I decided I would live full time while I was off work. The first two weeks I never left the house. What made me go out was I was out of food and hungry. ::) I had been out many times but to bars and restaurants, but always at night. It was daytime and time to go grocery shopping. As I walked through the grocery store I kept my eyes straight ahead, picked up what I needed and paid and left. I was there about 30 minutes.
Nothing happened except my kitchen had food in it again. Oh, and I started going out when I needed.
We have a friend who started her forays into the world wearing almost no makeup and had no enhancements. And when she got a funny look, she'd say, "I'll bet you never met anyone like me."
However we get there, we all get there as long as we try and don't quit.
I understand your feeling of frustration. I am also in my 50's and can't get rid of the body and facial hair quick enough. HRT for 10 months hasn't helped me alot. I hope you get better results. Hang in there.
Donna, 10 months & very little change to facial & body hair????? Say it ain't so please.
Quote from: Jane on July 25, 2011, 01:07:32 PM
I wish I could agree with this but a few weeks ago I went to the 3 beauticians in my local area, 2 claimed the person who does eyebrows was on holiday & looked dead shifty as they said it (my bs detector almost overloaded), the other place told me bluntly that they don't do men (i'm tempted to report them for discrimination)
Yea a lot of them gladly take our money for nothing. I hope to obtain good advise from the Clinic I'm to visit tomorrow. From what they told me this doctor treats numerous MTF. I will find out quickly, I've talked & been to numerous doctors before when located in another city.
Quote from: Julie Marie on July 25, 2011, 01:41:31 PM
When things were coming to a head for me - time to ->-bleeped-<- or get off the pot - I had had about 20 hours of electro, mostly on my upper lip, which was my biggest tell. The rest of my face was virgin to the electro needle. I have never had laser. Fortunately I was 57 and many of the facial hairs had turned white. But there was still enough that made it hard to completely hide.
Work got slow and I was asked to sit home for a while or take a layoff. Work at the union hall was really bad so I opted for sitting home. I was told it would be 6-8 weeks. So I decided I would live full time while I was off work. The first two weeks I never left the house. What made me go out was I was out of food and hungry. ::) I had been out many times but to bars and restaurants, but always at night. It was daytime and time to go grocery shopping. As I walked through the grocery store I kept my eyes straight ahead, picked up what I needed and paid and left. I was there about 30 minutes.
Nothing happened except my kitchen had food in it again. Oh, and I started going out when I needed.
We have a friend who started her forays into the world wearing almost no makeup and had no enhancements. And when she got a funny look, she'd say, "I'll bet you never met anyone like me."
However we get there, we all get there as long as we try and don't quit.
Julie you have had a tough time for sure girl. The story about food & or going out is so funny, been there, done that 100-200 times. Bought enough fingernail polish remover to float a battleship. It all seems funny for some reason right now. We might as well laugh better than crying.
Quote from: Jane on July 25, 2011, 01:07:32 PM
I wish I could agree with this but a few weeks ago I went to the 3 beauticians in my local area, 2 claimed the person who does eyebrows was on holiday & looked dead shifty as they said it (my bs detector almost overloaded), the other place told me bluntly that they don't do men (i'm tempted to report them for discrimination)
That is sad Jane. I've been to three different salons, and they have all been fine. I've settled on one called Vani-T as they do waxing as well so I get my back waxed the brows done. Is there a place that advertises that they do male waxing? If they do they may be more friendly to do your brows.
Hugs
Cindy
Quote from: Jane on July 25, 2011, 01:07:32 PM
I wish I could agree with this but a few weeks ago I went to the 3 beauticians in my local area, 2 claimed the person who does eyebrows was on holiday & looked dead shifty as they said it (my bs detector almost overloaded), the other place told me bluntly that they don't do men (i'm tempted to report them for discrimination)
Like Cindy, I've never had an issue. But we do live in the same city. Than again, I've never had an issue getting anything done at a beautician interstate either..
Quote from: Cindy James on July 26, 2011, 04:21:40 AM
That is sad Jane. I've been to three different salons, and they have all been fine. I've settled on one called Vani-T as they do waxing as well so I get my back waxed the brows done. Is there a place that advertises that they do male waxing? If they do they may be more friendly to do your brows.
Hugs
Cindy
I've put off getting my brows done at the moment, I may be moving into a bedsit soon :( in the past i've met some right wierdos & nutters in bedsits :icon_yikes: I may have to keep everything hidden until i've got things back on track, on the bright side i'll have an extra couple of hundred notes spare each month so will be able to stock up on clothes & shoes ;D (I've already got my eyes on 3 pairs of boots!)
Quote from: Jane on July 26, 2011, 12:05:56 PM
I've put off getting my brows done at the moment, I may be moving into a bedsit soon :( in the past i've met some right wierdos & nutters in bedsits :icon_yikes: I may have to keep everything hidden until i've got things back on track, on the bright side i'll have an extra couple of hundred notes spare each month so will be able to stock up on clothes & shoes ;D (I've already got my eyes on 3 pairs of boots!)
Have you considered shaping them yourself with tweezers? There a guides online for how to do it. Shaping my eyebrows made a huge difference in how I felt about my face overall.
Quote from: Sunnynight on July 26, 2011, 12:15:57 PM
Have you considered shaping them yourself with tweezers? There a guides online for how to do it. Shaping my eyebrows made a huge difference in how I felt about my face overall.
I've plucked between my eyebrows to lose the monobrow i've inherited (my god it made my eyes water :icon_cry2:), I want to have a pro do it first time to make sure the shape is both even & the best for my face.
Quote from: Jane on July 26, 2011, 12:27:17 PM
I've plucked between my eyebrows to lose the monobrow i've inherited (my god it made my eyes water :icon_cry2:), I want to have a pro do it first time to make sure the shape is both even & the best for my face.
Okay, I understand where you're coming from then.
Terrible day, in Birmingham, Alabama, fake slow therapist cost me time & $, accomplished nothing. Glad day over.
Told no decent doctor in that entire town for MTF support.
Back to looking for new physician in either Nashville or busy Atlanta. If by chance any good suggestions would appreciate a name or two. New to this rural area of the US. No idea it would be so difficult to find a new doctor to renew HRT.
Some days you win, some days you lose & some get rained out, all part off the game I guess.
Maybe today will be a good day, A new doctor in Nashville to call/visit, from Tennesse friends he sounds sincere.
Have a beautiful day, all girl friends.
Quote from: Francis Ann Burgett on July 27, 2011, 05:40:35 AM
Maybe today will be a good day, A new doctor in Nashville to call/visit, from Tennesse friends he sounds sincere.
Have a beautiful day, all girl friends.
Thats good hoPE it goes well
I just received the Tria Laser hair removal product. It seems identical to any laser hair treatment at a salon. It's east to use. For any medium to dark color hair. It's easy to use on your face. It covers 3/4 of a dimes diameter on each pulse. Maybe it works? Just FYI
Life is much better. I finally found a new physician in Atlanta, experienced for 20 years with HRT. He uses the direct injection method. I cannot wait to receive my shots & soon return to feeling normal!!!! I am more resolved/settled than ever to completely follow his instructions to finally change this body over to normal. I may after talking with him go ahead & have an orcie. It's just something I've needed to do for such a long time. I feel terrible with these things on my body. Hopefully I can also find a surgeon also there in Atlanta for the orcie. It's an easy drive for me.
Maybe just maybe I can move forward to normal. I feel good & look better.
Francis
Good to see you have found another Doctor who will do what you need. I know what you mean about the appendages, can't wait until I can wear a swimsuit.
Good luck sis.
Karen.
Karen, That's a cool name.
Thanks, I've been this close to change over 2-3 times when in my 30's. It's about time I followed thru however there is so much to do to really change a male body over as you know. It's a full time job almost with appointments, surgeries maybe, $ out, driving, etc... Living 24-7 while having facial hair, Hate that hair, etc....
Anyway thanks for kind works, good luck to you sister.
Francis
I can relate big time :|
things will get better eventually!