6 times in rehab and here i am a 7th time of trying to get clean but not in rehab. Something changed this time. Its different.
Too much time in juvie, too close to jail now. Too much time in the hosp, too close to death now.
24 days clean. Doesnt feel like an accomplishment. But i know it is. It continues to be as i said no today.
I want a recovery necklace, jus the AA pendant.
Good work! Make sure you say no tomorrow, too! Hugs, Tracey
Congrats on the 24 days, Kal. I know it doesn't seem like long, but every long journey begins with a small step forward (cliched, but true).
I'm assuming your drug of choice is alcohol, but I suppose it doesn't matter. Just wondering... have you thought about taking up some athletic activity to keep your mind off using? I bought a heavy bag a few years back and spent 30 minutes a day battering it... helped immensely when I was trying to quit smoking. (Of course, my "loving" mother decided to give it away a few months later, and back to the cigarettes I went). Just a suggestion.
Thanks tracey and sebastien!
My choice has been many things over the years.
This time it was xanax, oxy, and alcohol then i did other things recreationally not as every day.
I love basketball and i like to work out but i have limited access to everything. My mother would be same way altho im sorry to hear it.
I'm sure you've already tried this, but I know there are a lot of public parks that have basketball courts. I'm a massive basketball fan, too, and I always make sure I know where public courts are wherever I am.
It is easy. And hard at the same time. One day at a time. All it takes it that one thing, to get you going and keep you going.
Congratulations on choosing freedom over slavery to a chemical.
Karen.
You can do this bro, stay clean... We love you
Hugs
- Virginia
Thanks everybody i really appreciate it. 26 days today. Cant wait for the month mark!! All my effort is in basketball now and i love it.
Good to hear you're still fighting the good fight! I made it one more day today, too, and I'm thankful for it.
Progress report?
1 month as of yesterday! AND i got that AA recovery pendant that i wanted so i am wearing that around my neck and never takin it off haha (it was like $6 so its cheap as hell but means a lot so who cares). I got my cell # changed too to sever some ties and keep me straight. Thats what im dealin wit lately...losin the "friends" i had and knowin theyre bad news i gotta stay away from em. Thats the reason i couldnt get clean all the other times...i never burned those bridges (i thought i could handle it) and i also wasnt sober for myself wasnt doin it for ME.
Great work! I know how you feel, I only have one old friend that I feel comfortable around, he also quit drinking around the same time I did. The rest of my friends and family I had to walk away from and leave behind. You will be OK, you understand that it's for you, no one else. Hugs, Tracey
Awesome, Kal! I am currently living with a friend of mine who's been sober for over 200 days now, and she says that even though she did every drug in the book for years and drank daily, she has never been happier than she has since she's been sober. Losing the friends is tough, but reach out to other people in recovery! That's what my friend has done, and she is now surrounded by friends who help keep her in check, and vice-versa. Also, let me know if you ever make a trip to New Mexico--- you'll have to come beat me at a game of hoops!
It's been a few days, how are you doing?
I went on a Penn State leadership conference (best 4days of my life!) and I was definitely tempted. It's a leadership conference so we are all student leaders from our campuses and representative of that so you wouldn't think there'd be any drinking/drugs (since we're leaders and all and we're WIT our actual staff leaders) but then again, it IS Penn State and students from about 5 campuses or so. I was tempted beyond belief, I was around marijuana and adderall (which I've been addicted to) and the people using these. I even smelled the weed and I had the strength to walk away, to say no and walk away and tell them I'd hang out with them later. I am 45 days, I think. I'd have to go check on my calendar but it's somewhere in 44-46.
Quote from: Kal(eb) on August 11, 2011, 03:58:01 PM
I went on a Penn State leadership conference (best 4days of my life!) and I was definitely tempted. It's a leadership conference so we are all student leaders from our campuses and representative of that so you wouldn't think there'd be any drinking/drugs (since we're leaders and all and we're WIT our actual staff leaders) but then again, it IS Penn State and students from about 5 campuses or so. I was tempted beyond belief, I was around marijuana and adderall (which I've been addicted to) and the people using these. I even smelled the weed and I had the strength to walk away, to say no and walk away and tell them I'd hang out with them later. I am 45 days, I think. I'd have to go check on my calendar but it's somewhere in 44-46.
well done for resisting, man :police:
Great news! I thought you would be around the six week mark. I found that time will make the tempation from other people diminish, but for now seperation is your safest option. Good work, and I'm proud of you! Keep it up, hugs, Tracey
Good for you. Changing playmates and playgrounds is a wise choice.
Maybe you can find another basketball player at a meeting. Hanging out with other people staying sober can help a lot.
Glad to hear you are sticking to it Kaleb :)
Hugs
- Virginia
Good job Kaleb, you are an inspiration!
Jennifer
How goes the battle, Kaleb?
I love how you keep checking in, haha :)
Lately my life is all about Penn State to keep me in check. After the leadership conference, I student led orientation...and classes start today. But recently im having a hard time letting my old life go. I know its not what i want but its all ive ever known. Anyway im 56 or 57 days sober now (gotta check the calendar but i know for sure its one of those). Its supposed to get easier and i believe it has and will continue to be but sometimes it seems like its getting harder. Im close to pickin up smoking again bc of it. Overall i think im doin pretty good tho.
Yeah, I am a pest! Shutting the door on your past is tough, but if those ways were going to let you defeat yourself, you need to do it. That's what addiction to anything is, in it's purest sense, beating yourself. Anyway, I'm keeping an eye on you, and celebrating your milestones with you. Even if I do have to pry it out of you! Hugs, Tracey
Great job Kal! :eusa_clap: Great!
Jennifer
Aight so.. jus an update. Im 68 days.. (tonite at midnite makin it 68). I took a few sips of a beer earlier tonite but no intention of really drinking or getting drunk or abusing it. Not sure how i feel about it tho. I know im not gonna slip from that but idk. I dont wanna think that that ruined the previous 67 days. But maybe?
No that didn't ruin it. You are still sober and so am I! :)
Jennifer
Thanks for the reassurance Jennifer, i guess youre rite.. i was sober after taking a few sips so im still 68 days sober :P glad to hear you are sober still too :) keep on keepin on.
I guess you knew I would be checking in on you today! That sounds like a minor infraction, just be careful, hon. Hugs, Tracey
Is your avatar a recent pic? If so you are looking very sharp, much better than before... Stick with it Bro
Hugs
- Virginia
I think ill be ok on the alcohol..drugs..pills.. but im startin to get in that careless feel. Not wreckless, jus uncarin, apathetic.. can feel myself bein drawn to cigs. But im tryna not let the depression or whatev get to me.. so i can fight it, theres always a reason to care. Plus got so much goin for me at penn now.. got my own club and stuff..
Yea it is a recent pic Virginia :) Im even pre-T too. Thank you
Let's see, what haven't I done lately? Oh, yeah, time to check in with Kaleb!
Haha :) !
Unfortunately (no I did not relapse!) But I am kinda in a downward spiral.. at least i can feel it happenin. Today is day 81 of sobriety i believe however i have been selling.. and ive mos def been around ecstacy and other junk. I am smokin cigs a lil off and on..
Keep out of downward spirals! You're young and building the foundation of where you'll be in the future. Make the right choices now. Or take a walk around the city and look at the people who made all the wrong choices. Behave yourself, Kaleb, hugs, Tracey
I'm still sober too! YAY for us. Hugs to you Kaleb.
Jennifer
Thanks for the support. And great jennifer :) yay for us is rite haha and i was wrong bout that being day 81. i checked my calendar and today is day 85 almost over.. onto day 86. Sidenote.. I mite go back and do some intensive outpatient..
I took my 6 month keyring yesterday! There is a reason why they give us tokens or keyrings on those days. It is so hard to reach each one of those milestones. You can make it to 90! Just keep saying no one day ata time.
Huggs
Emily
<looking at ceiling, whistling> Well?
104 days, today is 105...but lately closer and closer to relapsing and i really jus dont care.
No, don't do that, hon. Sit down and have a chat with yourself about why it was the right decision, and why it still is. And I care. Hugs, Tracey
I care too. 105 is an awesome achievement! :) I'm really proud of you. Hugs to you. We can do it, one day at a time.
Jennifer
How about an update, Kaleb? You hanging in there? Hugs, Tracey
Kaleb?
Jenny
131 but def gonna relapse soon
got an intake assessment/evaluation meeting tuesday
wanna get somethin out of a program this time and actually WORK the steps
i never gave a crap before so nothing ever worked
i care now
This is so awesome Kaleb! Thanks again for sharing. You just gave me that little bit of inspiration that I needed. :)
Keep up the great work.
Jenny
Stay strong Kal. You can do this. If you ever need someone to talk to who understands addiction I'm here for you.
Keep up the good work! No relapses! You should start thinking of counting by months rather than days. Stay strong, hugs, Tracey
Dude, you've made it over 130 days? Relapse would mean starting over again.
tracey- i do count in months (as well as days)
michelle- problem i have wit that is the amount of days and all that can either empower you or pressure you. lately i feel too pressured
One dayone moment at a time.
Yes, there will be pressure, addiction doesn't want to let you go. It wants to keep you and win. You are in for a lifelong fight against this. I have felt the pressure to give in many times over the years. Be tough! Hugs, Tracey
Hi Kaleb, I hope you had a happy Thanksgiving! Holidays are a time for joy, but they can be stressful and full of temptation as well. I'm happy to say that I made it through this one without falling back on my evil ways. I am thinking of you, and hoping you made it through, too. Hugs, Tracey
Hi Kaleb,
I'm thinking of you also. I was very tempted to relapse but held strong and now I am so happy for it.
I hope you had a great Thanksgiving. Keep up the great work! :)
Jenny
How about an update, Kaleb? We all want you to do well! Hugs, Tracey
Jus finished finals. Doin ok i guess. Havent relapsed but not really hittin NA meetins like i should be. Kinda feelin like bein alone.
:icon_woowoo: :icon_flower: :icon_joy:
I am so proud of you Kaleb! Thank you for the update and congrats on your finals. :)
Jennifer
Quote from: Kal(eb) on December 13, 2011, 07:28:11 PMJus finished finals.
Now you have two things to be happy about: being clean for over a full semester, and being one semester closer to graduation. Congrats!
Thanks ladies! Hope you are well also
Good to hear from you, Kaleb! Going to meetings is up to you. I attended ten mandatory AA meetings in the Army, noon and evening for five days, and I never went to another. It just wasn't for me. I have the utmost respect for the programs, they do work. I just needed to do it my way. Sober since 3/4/86, hugs, Tracey
Well, another holiday safely behind me! How are you doing, Kaleb? Hugs, Devlyn
Kaleb, how are you doing? Treat us to a 2012 update! Hugs, Devlyn
60 days strong after New Years, now 64
Good on ya Kaleb :) Stay strong bro.
High 5, Slap back and Hugs
- Virginia
Good to hear! Happy Birthday, too! Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Kal(eb) on January 06, 2012, 09:41:40 PM
60 days strong after New Years, now 64
:icon_dance: SUPER! :icon_birthday:
Jennifer
February update, please! Hugs, Devlyn
Truthful update (well, all have been truthful but im more honest tonite wit myself for personal reasons)
I havent been counting my days at all. But im past 3months i think. Ive taken a xanax here and there (as prescribed for panic attacks never abused since i got clean this time) and a drink here and there but never drunk. I said no while in a car full of weed and didnt give in to that and havent done anything else.
2012 has not started well tho...recently lost a pretty close friend. Ill keep it at that.
And what do you guys think of the name Kaleb Alexander Nichols?
what do you guys think of the name Kaleb Alexander Nichols?
Sounds good :)
Well, it's good to hear you're doing well, Kaleb Alexander Nichols! That has a great sound to it. It will sound even better when you graduate and put some alphabet soup after it. Hugs, Devlyn
Quote from: Kal(eb) on February 12, 2012, 12:40:30 AM
And what do you guys think of the name Kaleb Alexander Nichols?
Awesome name! And awesome person! :)
Jenny
Kaleb Alexander or Kaleb Tyler?
I wanna ask you guys instead of the guys :P no real reason
1 vote for Kaleb Alexander :)
Make that 3 votes.
Quoteim past 3months i think
Triple digits now...woohoo!
I like Kaleb Alexander as well. We're out of February, March right in and update us, please! Hugs, Devlyn