Hope I don't offend anyone by posting this. I have found that alot of MTF's are attracted to women, and alot of FTM's are attracted to men. For myself, being FTM, I have always found myself attracted to MTF's. Even more so than biological women. For myself, being with someone who is MTF, works. I don't have to explain myself...they don't have to explain themselves. We have the struggle in common. We can go from there and see if we are compatible or not. Just wondering if anyone else feels this way?
I am attracted to women, I can't say I am more or less attracted to MTFs than to cisgender women. I could see though, how having something that is such a big part of one's life in common could be really nice. I don't really know though, if it would really be any easier, having never dated another transwoman. I could see where it may be however.
If I were into men though, I think it would be a bit less scary to be with an FTM than cisgender guy, at least you know that when you tell them you are trans, they won't flip out and hurt or kill you....but I have always had an easier time disclosing things to women, and I am attracted to women, so that might be a bit of bias.
Since my personal dream is to pass as female to the point that most people would not guess (or at least I hope to be attractive as a whole to the point the no one who figured it out would really care), I do have to say thatnI want nothing to do with Trans culture when I finally succeed at transitioning (beyond silently donating to certain Trans causes.) I personally just am not Trans to fit into a Trans culture, I generally dislike the whole thing; I feel like a girl trapped in a boy's body and face, I don't feel like a 'Trans'.
Beyond that, I'm only attracted to good old fashioned high standard fit confident straight ethnic men. How often do you find a FTM who fits that description? :P
I mean at the end of the day, I understand the human mind extraordinarily and a MTF being emotionally or even physically attracted to FTM's is highly logical and even natural. If you're lucky enough to find this relationship, it's sure to be one where both people are on the same emotional level, able to experience the old fashioned giddy, simple romance. It's really a seemingly great viewpoint to have in searching for a partner, I say you're really lucky to feel the way you do.
I'm sort of bound by seemingly animalistic preferences myself, I knew I was a girl very early on (and I was always very confident in that realization, I've never considered myself strange) so naturally, I seemed to develope a sexuality where I'm only attracted to the type of guy I describe above, else I'm entirely strongly asexual. Really sucks. It makes my transition so nessicary even beyond how badly I want it myself too.
I haven't really been all too attracted to anybody for several years and the last person I thought might progress beyond "just friends" died on 9/11
I think I've been alone for too long now and I'm the true love/hopeless romantic type... It would really surprise me if I ever met someone
I'm not attracted to a particular category of people... It's all about the individual and how we relate one to one
Quote from: V M on July 23, 2011, 04:42:29 PM
I'm not attracted to a particular category of people... It's all about the individual and how we relate one to one
So you'd say that you think you'd love a blind, mute, morbidly obese autistic person in a wheelchair just as commonly as you would a handsome, dreamy individual who could experience life on your level? I have a mute, autistic, morbidly obese cousin in a wheelchair myself, so it sort of bugs me when people don't own up to the fact that
everyone has some type of natural preference when it comes to a partner, even if vague and medically-orientated :P.
Love is about relating, but meeting someone is about guessing how you will relate before wasting your time. Obviously, we'd all say "there's no way I'd date a blind, mute, morbidly obese person in a wheelchair, there's just no way it'd work out, so I'm not going to put myself through the attempt of trying."; if there's anyone who'd think otherwise, I'd gladly hook ya'll up with my cousin, he's quite lonely - he's not even able to communicate to other special needs peoples.
Having spent very little of my life as an individual life form, I tend to think myself in some kind of family unit outside of the family I was born into. I have been a family animal and not a social animal so my attractions are to the person I develop a sexual relationship with. In the abstract I can be attracted to any gender, but when it comes to socializing, I mostly socialize with women and so the relationships I develop are with them. I have pretty much tied up in two different relationships since 1972, so I am out of it.
I find that as a transgender female that thinking in the terms of
"Marriage is between a man and a woman." leads to all kinds of confusions. If I were a computer my processors would be tied into knots and I would crash.
My only way out is to define one term that is legal concerns their biological relationship to each other and that is their biological relationship does not make the marriage illegal.
Marriage is between two consenting legal adults. One in this context say that sex is between any two or more legal consenting individuals.
Besides one being the loneliest number most of my sexual interactions have been within relationships.
Since I have only to this point have had sex with women that would make me at least a lesbian in my thinking. But society may be just considering the sexual organs involved would call it heterosexual sex. But I would call it heterosexual sex from my point view if I had sex with a man. To the heterosexual world I would be gay.
Or bi because of my past relationships. Me I opt out of this discussion, because I am what I am and life is what it is. Labeling just confuses things.
As far as sexual activity, I am a woman, anything that any other woman is expected to do sexually with another woman or man that does not cause pain to myself or others, I expect of myself within the bounds of my physical sexual organs and my inflexible body. Sexually I expect to be treated as a woman.
Quote from: RhinoP on July 23, 2011, 05:38:19 PM
So you'd say that you think you'd love a blind, mute, morbidly obese autistic person in a wheelchair just as commonly as you would a handsome, dreamy individual who could experience life on your level? I have a mute, autistic, morbidly obese cousin in a wheelchair myself, so it sort of bugs me when people don't own up to the fact that everyone has some type of natural preference when it comes to a partner, even if vague and medically-orientated :P.
Love is about relating, but meeting someone is about guessing how you will relate before wasting your time. Obviously, we'd all say "there's no way I'd date a blind, mute, morbidly obese person in a wheelchair, there's just no way it'd work out, so I'm not going to put myself through the attempt of trying."; if there's anyone who'd think otherwise, I'd gladly hook ya'll up with my cousin, he's quite lonely - he's not even able to communicate to other special needs peoples.
Actually, I tend to be rather unassuming and I'm sorry, but I find parts of your commentary to be rather disrespectful to people with disabilities
Have a nice day :)
I have to admit after coming out I toy with the idea of dating men, but I am definitely very sexually attracted to women, trans or not. But I have noticed a lot of FtMs online identify as gay whether they're with other transguys or bioguys. I ... don't talk to the transladies enough to have noticed a similar trend though :( I guess I tend to think, since I don't share the experiences and needs of transwomen, I should keep my nose out since I can't offer much in a conversation.
I see references to passing as a female, time and time again. I guess for me in the present context of my life passing as a female would mean is that there would be a hassle if I didn't use the women's restroom and show female preferences in the items I bought at Walmart. And also that my spouse wouldn't comment about my eye shadow when she ignores that I am wearing lipstick and a push up bra with the straps showing and carrying a purse. And I can wear a skirt instead of female slacks and shorts.
Already on public transportation when I chat with fellow passengers I am not sure if they see me as male or female. A few bus drivers have called me ma'am and been concerned about me standing in the hot sun. The old men haven't started flirting with me yet. I am not sure how I will react when they do.
This what passing means to me. Its not dating, dancing, or bar hopping for they are not a part of my life. And when I finally go to the senor center, I hang with the ladies and the old men make passes at me.
Passing as a female for me is in a vary narrow context. I also feel that I will pass when I have to check female every time I fill out a form, unless checking female will send me to jail. Well if I go to a jail full of males, I will find out how I feel about men and whatever.
Quote from: RhinoP on July 23, 2011, 05:38:19 PM
So you'd say that you think you'd love a blind, mute, morbidly obese autistic person in a wheelchair just as commonly as you would a handsome, dreamy individual who could experience life on your level? I have a mute, autistic, morbidly obese cousin in a wheelchair myself, so it sort of bugs me when people don't own up to the fact that everyone has some type of natural preference when it comes to a partner, even if vague and medically-orientated :P.
Similarly, it 'sort of bugs me' when someone 'doesn't own up to the fact' they're not interested in transsexual men - suggesting instead that finding one with the below qualities is rare.
Quote from: RhinoP on July 23, 2011, 04:01:38 PM
Beyond that, I'm only attracted to good old fashioned high standard fit confident straight ethnic men. How often do you find a FTM who fits that description? :P
I am not attracted to men or women but would rather hang out with other women.
I'm often jealousy of good looking women trans or not.
But I have to say that I have found that some men & trans-men are really cute.
Jillieann
If I wasn't happily married I could definitely see myself seeking a relationship with an FTM.
Quote from: mowdan6 on July 23, 2011, 03:12:24 PM
Hope I don't offend anyone by posting this. I have found that alot of MTF's are attracted to women, and alot of FTM's are attracted to men. For myself, being FTM, I have always found myself attracted to MTF's. Even more so than biological women. For myself, being with someone who is MTF, works. I don't have to explain myself...they don't have to explain themselves. We have the struggle in common. We can go from there and see if we are compatible or not. Just wondering if anyone else feels this way?
In my most recent sexuality course in post graduate school (I took the course this past May), the surveys they took of MTF were vastly sexually attracted to women. So your observations are correct.
In the same course, FTM were pretty much even about being sexually attracted to men or women.
Of course there were other variables such as bisexual, pan, etc etc.
I am also part of a big transgender networking site and I would say, conservatively, about 85% of the MTF identify as lesbian.
After my transition, I dated two cisgendered women, a MTF, a FTM, and several cisgendered men. The women I dated were wonderful but the spark wasn't really there. The MTF i dated was just one big headache for the both of us. In Bed we just sat there and stared at each other because we felt we needed a professional playbook from the NFL just to figure each other out.
The FTM was wonderful and the cisgendered men I dated were wonderful. So, I do tend to lean towards men a lot more. But I am certainly open to other genders.
I had no sexual attraction to anyone, of any "type" until I figured out I was trans. Someone being attracted to me as a female was utterly repulsive to me. Allowing myself to say "yes I am male" let me think about having a relationship as a male, and almost immediately boys got really interesting. I will admit that I do have a type--healthy, doesn't over-do it at the gym, androgynous, nerdy, capable of cute, about my age, and cis. Yep. I'm not attracted to transmen at the mo, but I am open to the idea of attraction to anyone I can relate to. I'm into pillow talk. If we can't discuss Fauvism after, it doesn't matter how pretty he/she/ze is.
I tend to like smart, successful people who like to be highly creative in the bedroom and have superior interpersonal/communication skills. People who are Good, Giving and Game*, adventurous, who have a life of their own and don't to be constantly entertained. A real sick, twisted sense of humor is also necessary. And please don't take yourself too seriously. Gender can be worked around. Personality can not.
Oh yeah. They can't have more problems than I do. That's an Iron Law.
* - Dan Savage and his readers often use the abbreviation GGG. In his March 1, 2007 column,[10] Savage summarized: "GGG stands for 'good, giving, and game,' which is what we should all strive to be for our sex partners. Think 'good in bed,' 'giving equal time and equal pleasure,' and 'game for anything—within reason.'"
Quote from: tekla on July 24, 2011, 02:30:33 AM
I tend to like smart, successful people who like to be highly creative in the bedroom and have superior interpersonal/communication skills. People who are Good, Giving and Game*, adventurous, who have a life of their own and don't to be constantly entertained. A real sick, twisted sense of humor is also necessary. And please don't take yourself too seriously. Gender can be worked around. Personality can not.
You and I have quite a similar taste in people...
The sick sense of humor, adventurous, and intelligent top the list for me.
I'm attracted to both men and women but not evenly. Like 80% women and 20% men. Most men for lack of a better word are jerks. A ftm might make an ideal mate. Hopefully he would still retain some qualities that I find so appealing in women.
I really don't know who I am attracted to the most as I have very little experience in the dating world and only have had sex with two women in my life. No offense to the gay guys but I never felt attracted to them nor fantasized about being with them for they just seemed to weird, however I have often looked at straight guys and thought how goodlooking they were and wonder what it would be like to be the girl that is dating them. As for the ladies I can say I'm most attracted to the ones that take control of things in bed or otherwise, for the two women I have been with one of them was like that and I really got turned on by her being the dominate one and all the time I was thinking how I was the woman and her as a man in the bed. In more or less, I say I'm attracted alittle to all genders but probably more male than female and the males can't be the whimpy type or the submissive type I find unattractive to me as I want to be submissive one in the bedroom.
Quote from: mowdan6 on July 23, 2011, 03:12:24 PM
Hope I don't offend anyone by posting this. I have found that alot of MTF's are attracted to women, and alot of FTM's are attracted to men. For myself, being FTM, I have always found myself attracted to MTF's. Even more so than biological women. For myself, being with someone who is MTF, works. I don't have to explain myself...they don't have to explain themselves. We have the struggle in common. We can go from there and see if we are compatible or not. Just wondering if anyone else feels this way?
wow if only i had met you yrs ago :) a BIG DITTO HERE
Quote from: V M on July 23, 2011, 04:42:29 PM
I think I've been alone for too long now and I'm the true love/hopeless romantic type... It would really surprise me if I ever met someone
I'm not attracted to a particular category of people... It's all about the individual and how we relate one to one
I know the feeling of loss all to well (and too often) :'( - I prefer the company of women, they are soft, cuddly, and much more feeling than guys who seem to always have the testosterone button turned on... But maybe if I was "complete" then being with a guy is not out of the question, but not with that thing still attached I was cursed with since birth....
Quote from: BilliTex on July 24, 2011, 05:18:26 PM
I know the feeling of loss all to well (and too often) :'( - I prefer the company of women, they are soft, cuddly, and much more feeling than guys who seem to always have the testosterone button turned on... But maybe if I was "complete" then being with a guy is not out of the question, but not with that thing still attached I was cursed with since birth....
ehh thats kinda grouping men into one group isn't it?
Not all men have their "testosterone buttons turned on" and I've been with some men whose cuddles were so great I fell asleep in their arms.
Quote from: Annah on July 24, 2011, 01:38:50 AM
the surveys they took of MTF were vastly sexually attracted to women. about 85% of the MTF identify as lesbian.
What this means in neurobiological and genetic terms is that most MTF have a XX-like gender identity center and a XY sexual orientation center, or the alternative hypothesis a XX-like gender identity and sexual orientations centers. This tow alternative hypothesis are currently being investigated.
Kate D
most MTF have a XX-like gender identity center and a XY sexual orientation center, or the alternative hypothesis a XX-like gender identity and sexual orientations centers
Weren't you the one calling bull->-bleeped-<- on Allen Watts the other day?
Quote from: kate durcal on July 24, 2011, 09:55:56 PM
What this means in neurobiological and genetic terms is that most MTF have a XX-like gender identity center and a XY sexual orientation center,
Kate D
I can't agree with that at all! Sorry!
People who think homosexuality is wrong will love that formula!
I am FTM and only attracted to women. I can see a man and think, yeah hes handsome (David Beckham!!) but that's as far as it goes, admiration for the male form and what i wish i looked like!
While I've never personally been attracted to a MTF, I could definitely see the potential of it happening. I've never really known one in person or very intimately online. I'm ashamed to say I'm pretty uneducated and awkward when it comes to MTF transitions. I really do need to look more into it.
That being said, I've found myself attracted to all other genders.
I dont think I have enough experience to really say, and because I am still at the very beginning of my path to transitioning it feels I am undecided...it might stay the same (Interested in females most of the time) or become different. I am open to all because if I become interested in men at a point well then that surely must feel good at that time; I won't say : Ewww, men, not even when I am a woman I will touch them! . It would just feel natural to me when it happens :)
About FtM's specifically...I know one currently in my support group who is a few years younger than me and while he still physically is a girl (A small, thin asian) I can already see that cute boy to be from a mile away...and it makes me nervous because I know I have a certain attraction to me that androgynous looking boys/men and some lesbians seem to like
I'm not sure if I could cope with a full fledged intimate relationship with an FtM but some do have a very big "I wanna hug you...and maybe a kiss :o" factor
Maybe one of the man reasons I wouldnt want it is that I am still mostly attracted to feminine things, and that's not something I would ever want to hurt someone with if its the opposite of what he feels. Some might feel a little girly or your typical flamboyant gay guy but I dont thin they would appreciate a compliment about that directly or in a bodily orientated way
I can honestly say that I was a fully closeted homosexual before transition, but I dated girls to make my discomfort with sex and gender issues go away. That said, I only ever dated five people, married one of those five, and only had sex six times because I just wasn't interested in that. Girls didn't turn me on.
Now that I've allowed myself to be myself, I've assessed my sexuality and can unequivocally say: Boys make me drool. ;) Boys make me giddy. Boys rock my world.
Quote from: Zoë Natasha on July 25, 2011, 04:46:24 PM
I can honestly say that I was a fully closeted homosexual before transition, but I dated girls to make my discomfort with sex and gender issues go away. That said, I only ever dated five people, married one of those five, and only had sex six times because I just wasn't interested in that. Girls didn't turn me on.
Now that I've allowed myself to be myself, I've assessed my sexuality and can unequivocally say: Boys make me drool. ;) Boys make me giddy. Boys rock my world.
you and I have the same past, girl!
When I was in Bible College (a very fundamentalist one) i would drive an hour from the school to meet up with my boyfriend. I then decided I should get married to a girl because the denomination I was involved in at the time was very conservative. BIG mistake. I just didn't find sex with a woman all that appealing.
Now that I am out and proud and affiliated with a progressive church and in public with my man, for the first time in my life I feel complete!
Quote from: Annah on July 25, 2011, 09:07:26 PM
Now that I am out and proud and affiliated with a progressive church and in public with my man, for the first time in my life I feel complete!
Didn't mean to throw all men under the bus, I alwaysed loved to cuddle (sigh) and I am so happy for you!!! Make life yours, some day I may be able to follow. :-*
I, myself am very attracted to men with feminine traits and qualities. I don't find myself attracted at all to the the "traditional looking guy" if there is such a thing. But show me a guy with make up and a skirt, and my head turns. It's the just the way I am. It hasn't made love and relationships easy for me, but it's what I like.
Ditto silvershadow. Traditional men don't do much for me. Gay men do nothing for me. A tomboyish girl would be OK but would rather them have a male body and fit that description. My current boyfriend does and we still going strong after 3 years :)
Quote from: mowdan6 on July 23, 2011, 03:12:24 PM
For myself, being FTM, I have always found myself attracted to MTF's.
How you know if one girl is transsexual?
I'm attracted to feminine women.
Lots of MFT ladies fit that description.
The main challenge would be that I'd prefer us both to be post op.