Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: _Jack_ on July 28, 2011, 04:56:56 PM

Title: Help me pass, please! :)
Post by: _Jack_ on July 28, 2011, 04:56:56 PM
Hey guys,

I'm desparately looking for advice on what to do with my hair to pass better as it's the biggest giveaway...I think! I'm still currently presenting as female but hoping to change this soon enough. So any general tips/advice/pointers would be much appreciated. Is there anything other than my hair which is causing me to look 'girly'.

PS: This is my first time posting a pic, so apologies for the failed attempts! :S

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1090.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fi363%2FJackAndAmnesia%2FIMG_0244.jpg&hash=498f717ad3d8b3f9ee6e0707d5614c23fcd84cb2)

Thanks guys :)
Title: Re: Help me pass, please! :)
Post by: Sharky on July 28, 2011, 06:04:05 PM
I think it's just the hair.
Title: Re: Help me pass, please! :)
Post by: JohnAlex on July 28, 2011, 06:19:41 PM
Actually, I think you pass pretty well.  Your body and clothes look totally male.   I don't even think the hair is that bad.  If you like long hair and want to keep it, I think you totally could do so and still pass.
If you want to have short hair, I think almost any male hair cut would work for you.
Title: Re: Help me pass, please! :)
Post by: Randi on July 28, 2011, 06:29:24 PM
Frankly, I don't see a female there. It's all about the attitude.  If your hair is what bothers you, go get a buzz, flat-top, or some other very short style like at a regular barber shop. Nice Epi behind you too-I like that finish for a LP. I use an old strat body epi for my 1st backup and also have an old 60's casino with 1 p90-love it!
Title: Re: Help me pass, please! :)
Post by: Wolf on July 28, 2011, 07:03:13 PM
I think you have a really good stance and clothes style in that pic, but shorter hair can be a big deal breaker. Maybe something short but scruffy- are you curly or straight haired?

Edit: Forgot to say that is a beautiful guitar you have thar /drool
Title: Re: Help me pass, please! :)
Post by: Jigsaw on July 28, 2011, 07:11:50 PM
I don't think you look like a girl there either.  I know plenty of guys who have long hair and keep it back like you have in the pic.  I have to agree with Randi.
Title: Re: Help me pass, please! :)
Post by: RyGuy on July 28, 2011, 07:31:32 PM
i think you will do pretty well with just about any man's cut. your clothes and body really don't look feminine, but if i had to pick something, the cut of your shirt pulls apart at the bottom, showing that you have some hip. this happens to plenty of cis-guys with button downs though so don't like run out and get all new shirts.
Title: Re: Help me pass, please! :)
Post by: anibioman on July 29, 2011, 08:55:35 AM
you have a feminine hair line and your shirt in the picture is a bit tight in the chest and hips so i would get one a size bigger.
Title: Re: Help me pass, please! :)
Post by: regan on July 29, 2011, 09:24:47 AM
A looser fitting shirt and a haircut are all I would change...
Title: Re: Help me pass, please! :)
Post by: mm on July 29, 2011, 10:10:16 AM
Jack, you look like a regular guy with long hair.  If you would like you could get a shorter guy's haircut, go to a men's barbershop for the best men's cut.  Your shirt looks fine to me, your chest for how is shows in this pic look good to me and it does a good job on covering your hips.
Title: Re: Help me pass, please! :)
Post by: insideontheoutside on July 29, 2011, 02:14:39 PM
Quote from: _Jack_ on July 28, 2011, 04:56:56 PM
Hey guys,

I'm desparately looking for advice on what to do with my hair to pass better as it's the biggest giveaway...I think! I'm still currently presenting as female but hoping to change this soon enough. So any general tips/advice/pointers would be much appreciated. Is there anything other than my hair which is causing me to look 'girly'.

PS: This is my first time posting a pic, so apologies for the failed attempts! :S

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1090.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fi363%2FJackAndAmnesia%2FIMG_0244.jpg&hash=498f717ad3d8b3f9ee6e0707d5614c23fcd84cb2)

Thanks guys :)

I think you totally look like a dude with long hair. It could be the way you walk or talk or something like that. I'm actually dealing with a similar kind of scenario. I've always looked fairly male but there's something people pick up that says female (could be because I'm short - so some people just assume if you're not tall or "average" height you're a chick lol).

And that is a very nice guitar!
Title: Re: Help me pass, please! :)
Post by: HarryP on July 29, 2011, 03:02:38 PM
Agree with the others- short hair would probably help, but the long hair looks cool anyway!  :)
Title: Re: Help me pass, please! :)
Post by: N.Chaos on July 29, 2011, 03:26:51 PM
Looser clothes is really I can say. If you like your hair, keep it. Personally, I think it looks lovely, especially pulled back like that. Reminds me of plenty of well-known male musicians. The wavyness helps (at least it looks wavy in the picture). I've rarely seen long haired guys who hair is pin-straight, and even rarer have I seen guys whose hair is naturally pin straight.
Title: Re: Help me pass, please! :)
Post by: _Jack_ on July 30, 2011, 05:19:14 PM
Wow, really didn't expect to pass as well as you are all saying! major confidence boost! So thank you, I think when we are so used to trying to make an effort to pass, it's easy to always see parts which are 'female', convincing ourselves that we aren't passing, etc etc, but to other people, those parts are percieved as male.

My hair is naturally frizzy/mega curly and not easily tamed lol. It's always something I am worried about hindering my passing, perhaps because it's something which has always been associated with my female self is the reason why I think it's female? I think I might try something a bit shorter, but not too short just to see how it goes - after all hair grows, right?

Also thanks for the comments about my guitar! Hehe, I love guitars and this one has to be my fave so far. I've got a similar model but in a green sunburst, and a colombus electro acoustic guitar which is a sort of blue and black sunburst. Having a passion for guitar can be bad sometimes - it's hell when I walk into a music shop as I just wanna buy loads and loads of guitars lol. :D

Again, thanks so much for all of your opinions - they really really do mean alot. These ones in particular have given me massive amounts of encouragement and support. :)

Jack xxx
Title: Re: Help me pass, please! :)
Post by: Darth_Taco on July 31, 2011, 03:00:10 AM
You pass pretty well, but your shirt is a bit of a give away to me. It puts a bit too much emphasis on your chest with the pockets. Maybe wear shirts with only one pocket or no pockets. Then there's the hair. I have very similar hair. When it was long, if you didn't use like half a bottle of anti-frizzing crap, that bitch puffed up worse than Mufasa's mane @_@. It's also curly as hell xD. When I say long, I mean long. I had almost 3 freaking feet of hair, and I'm only 5'5" XP.

Alas, no mater what I did, it made me look like a woman ;_;. So in the end, I had to cut it! D: Worst pain of my life ;_;! I donated a ton of it to Locks of Love (seriously, it weighed like a ton), and cut it somewhat short. I wasn't about to cut it too short unless I wanted to look just like my brother (that, and I don't like really short hair XP). Think Dan Radcliffe's hair during the 4th Harry Potter movie, except it actually looks good on me ;D. Oh, and much curlier xD. I have to gel my hair everyday, but at least I'm not using a bottle of shampoo to wash it and I no longer have to wait a week for it to dry :'P. It's also manageable @_@!
Title: Re: Help me pass, please! :)
Post by: Cindy on July 31, 2011, 03:06:49 AM
Hi Jack,

From my point of view, Guy.

The long hair no problems. I had to do a double take as one of the fitness instructors at my gym has the same hair style and a very similar face. He is about 6'2" and very male so you are in very good company. You aren't a gym instructor in South Australia?

Congrats

Cindy
Title: Re: Help me pass, please! :)
Post by: deejayk on July 31, 2011, 05:33:03 AM
You pass extremely well - as a hot metal singer especially. You look exactly like this metal singer I know!
And about the hair - don't cut it! It's awesome!
Title: Re: Help me pass, please! :)
Post by: Miniar on July 31, 2011, 09:34:32 AM
The only thing that is "off" about the hair, from where I'm sitting, is the hairline itself, and that'll be sorted once you're on T if you plan to, but if you aren't planning on T then tweezers in the mirror (CAREFUL! don't overpluck!) to pull the hairline up just a little to create a more square forehead would do the trick.

Also, I don't know if it's that way with you, or where you are, but for me, I feel I look "Less" feminine when I pull my hair straight "back up" from the forehead, instead of creating that dividing line over the top of the head.

And I wouldn't be to quick to cut it.
I used to think my hair was causing me trouble, cause it was very long and I perceived it as very feminine.
But while the long hair made me look a bit like a feminine bloke, the short hair made me look like a butch woman, a masculine woman.
And, well, I don't know about you, but looking like any kinda woman, however masculine, was way worse for me than looking like a feminine man.
Title: Re: Help me pass, please! :)
Post by: LilKittyCatZoey on July 31, 2011, 10:26:19 AM
I am gonna be the devil and say honestly to me you just fall on the girls side. The reason is your eyebrows and hair style i think change those and you should pass.