I think there might've been a thread here before and I've seen it mentioned on a few youtube videos, but what do you guys think about the idea of a "trend" or people "jumping on the trans* bandwagon"? Do you think there even is a trend and how do you think this effects FTM's?
If it is a trend, which is possible, I don't really know for sure, but why exactly would you want to be trans? I don't mean to offend anyone but seriously. How is that trendy?
More FTMs open on youtube, with their channel = trend.
Being FTM = not a trend.
Quote from: Ratchet on July 29, 2011, 04:32:49 PM
If it is a trend, which is possible, I don't really know for sure, but why exactly would you want to be trans? I don't mean to offend anyone but seriously. How is that trendy?
I don't mean to offend you with the topic, I'm just saying some people are talking about a "trend". Maybe it's a youtube thing like Nezhi said.
Quote from: Nezhi on July 29, 2011, 04:35:27 PM
More FTMs open on youtube, with their channel = trend.
Being FTM = not a trend.
My thoughts as well. I just think that the internet is seeming to explode with trans stuff right now because the internet is exploding in general. Especially with the younger generation who have grown up using computers and the internet.
Quote from: Adio on July 29, 2011, 04:40:50 PM
My thoughts as well. I just think that the internet is seeming to explode with trans stuff right now because the internet is exploding in general. Especially with the younger generation who have grown up using computers and the internet.
people are talking about every little *beep* they do on the internet, so i think it's quite natural that they are talking about being trans too... it's not more of a trend as people distributing their sleep cycle or what brand of soda they had today.
I can see how it could be a trend or a phase.
A kid is different at school, they get picked on because they are a tomboy, they don't fit in and and get depressed or just think guys have a better life and are cooler. They see the way out of this as being a boy because they have so much in common with the boys.
Another item... a young girl gets sexually abused and is mentally scared. She thinks, this would have never happened if I was a boy.
A phase or trend can be the result of positive or negative influences. Unfortunately, it happens and I have heard people talk about it a bit more recently then in past years.
At the same time, maybe it just seems like it is because there are more freedoms to express yourself without fear. Society is more accepting and there is more avenues for information and getting your own message out.
i think the trend of ftms on youtube is pretty easy to explain:
1. who do you talk to about trans matters? teenagers who can't share their problems with their peers may be looking for support on the internet
2. videos in general give you an interesting outside perspective of yourself, which a lot of people appreciate but of course it's especially interesting for someone who is probing their "new" male personality, so to speak.
3. youtube is also a "safe" space where you can look and act as male as you like without being bullied by your peers (because everything is basically happening in your room, although they are eventually sharing it with the world)
is there an ftm trend? i don't know. but times change. there was no surgery or hormone therapy around less than a century ago, and hence no one physically going through the transition process. so there have always been people who may have been ftm but didn't transition. the number of those who actually transition has increased, with greater media coverage of the issue, with the improved surgery options, with a change in parents' attitudes, with society changing, etc. ....trying to say it got easier for ftms to put their finger on what was going on with them; and transitioning in itsself got "easier" with parents, schools, society in general becoming more supportive and informed
and then of course there's always the claim that young girls want to find male privilege and thus decide they want to be boys. i don't really believe in that concept though. may be a cultural thing, but i see "female privilege" everywhere and it's more out there and "rewarding" than male privilege. My own dad even talked to me about how he wished to be a girl as a kid because of all the things girls were allowed to do and guys weren't (he mentioned how girls at the time could wear pants or dresses and could have long or short hair; nowadays many guys avoid things that might be considered "gay", "unmanly" etc.)
I have heard (mostly secondhand) about some young people who are sort of politically trans...anti-binary, I guess. A few apparently identified as genderqueer/gender->-bleeped-<- and seemed to see that as more of a political position than a gender identity.
I saw a couple of YouTube videos from such people back before I transitioned (at least one person was taking T as some kind of sociopolitical statement), and I was kind of appalled because I sure as heck didn't choose to be a transsexual, and I'm not transitioning as a political statement. But I figure that other people can do what they want, as long as they are adults.
Could this be the sort of trend you mean? I don't know how widespread it is. Probably just a small handful of individuals.
I suppose it's possible for anything to be a "trend" to a person if someone they want to emulate does it, but it seems really stupid to assume there are a lot of people going through something that's as much of a pain in the ass as transitioning just for a trend.
Quote from: Darrin on July 29, 2011, 04:23:55 PM
I think there might've been a thread here before and I've seen it mentioned on a few youtube videos, but what do you guys think about the idea of a "trend" or people "jumping on the trans* bandwagon"? Do you think there even is a trend and how do you think this effects FTM's?
well I dont think Trend is the right word for it, but people got a place to be out of sharing experience and getting there own words out to people around. its kinda a comunety like here and other place. (im also on youtube however not in any videos LOL)
I personally feel its great I love to look videoblogs if im bored, and I also feel its good for people who dosent know so much about transgender people to see so many diffrent people talking about these topics..
--
now we talk about trans and trend,
I am a big comics freak and as you might figure out (from my avatar) I like manga^^ yeah
there also seam to me a couple transgender people in the manga-culture, probebly because it pretty openminded in general,
and my mtf friend who are pretty big yugioh fan said its nice in the manga culture because theres teams like cosplaying (dressing up as a character) who make it easy to wear anything.. from men to women clotheing without getting strange comments.
the theam "crossplay" (someone crossdressing a character) is often there as well so people dont really mind the gender clothing that much (of corse there always someone.. but compared to the real world its to deal with..).
however we been talking about if the fact being trans where specially popular or trendy in the mangaculture once..
gay couples ex are pretty trendy because there the thing called "yaoi" wich is 2 guys together and many fangirls think thats hot (and fanboys too)
at the same time there where a period where everyone tend to dress up as the opposite sex, and many got out as being transgendeed,
my friend asked if it where a trend, I think part of it where, the dressing up where diffently a trend but since the comunety also was pretty openminded about people wearing whatever they liked and so it where probebly also more easy for transgender people to get out of the closet, and i felt thats been the caise.
It depends on your environment. On the Internet people with common interests easily find each other. With so many people with GD finding each other to them it might seem that everyone has gender issues. Instead everyone that has the same issue is just gathering in one place.
If you take a step back you realize that is only one part of the Internet. One part of the world at large because the vast majority have no concept of what we are going through. When I don't come on her it sometimes feels like I am the only trans person on the entire earth. Almost none of my friends have a clue. There are intelligent educated people and this whole issue is completely unknown to them.
The reason people gather is because they have a commonality. There is no trend. The homosexual population makes up 3 to 4 percent of the overall population. The transgender / gender variant population is even a smaller percentage of that.
Actually internet has exposed multi generations to information that was not available prior to internet. Due to internet I personally know several TS friends. In fact first TS friend I met was due to internet. With internet we get to explore and discuss our feelings.
Maybe it is trendy if you are young but it destroys much if you are old.
I was 25 before I even knew word Transsexual.
Increase in numbers is due to people coming out of closet. Trans people have existed for thousands of years. Now we have technology to help us. That is amazing to me. We actually have a possibility to get our body and mind in harmony! Is that not freaking amazing to you?
As trans people become more accepted we will become more open. As we become more open we will appear to grow in numbers. We were just silent and closeted. We were always there.
MTF numbers are also growing and represent about four times as many trans people as FTM. Surgery is not trendy but rather an amazing medical achievement.
Quote from: CB on July 29, 2011, 10:11:16 PM
...I think most people who really jump through all the hoops and get to this point aren't going through some trend or phase.
I agree. It's not like anyone can just go to the drugstore and pick up some testosterone. Many doctors seem loathe to even want to prescribe to those of us who have letters, RLE, and the lot. Getting antidepressants and other psychoactive drugs seem more "trend" to me.
getting T is the easy part. It is easily available.
Quote from: LordKAT on July 30, 2011, 01:26:20 AM
getting T is the easy part. It is easily available.
well I'd like to know where. I'm currently trying to figure out how to get some, and who to see first.
If you follow the usual route, therapist and then and endo, it can take a couple months but is still easy. You can find informed consent clinics to skip the therapist, some cities you can go to planned parenthood, some docs will do it as damage control if you say or have gotten it without a script before and of course there is always the unsafe method of internet purchase.
I don't know where you live so I can't begin to say where to try and begin.
Anyone who dares bring it up gets flamed for it, but yes, I think it's become trendy. It's still a lot more socially acceptable for a girl to dress and present as male, particularly teenagers. And when I browse Youtube or Tumblr blogs, the younger users are often the same type of kid - badly dyed hair, ugly piercings, ear plugs, baggy clothes and everything in their life is so random LOL. The same sort of kids as when I was fifteen, were saying they were gay, and blogging about being bisexual. Now that they're in their twenties, they quietly shut up about how gay they so were. Maybe it's just the types of channels and blogs I've visited, but most young teenage trans people are FTM. MTF is still taboo in a lot of places ie, not as trendy. It's too different. I can't work out why there are so many more alleged FTMs than MTFs online, when statistics indicate the balance is with a big MTF majority in the real world.
Of course it's not true for everything. Just like there are young people who are genuinely trans, genuinely homosexual, genuinely socialist, genuinely into metal, genuinely have addiction problems, there are many more who jump on the bandwagon, because it's always been cool to have something 'wrong' with you, and be outside the norm.
Maybe I'm being ->-bleeped-<-r-than-thou, but I just can't take a sixteen year old whose biggest problem is 'omg, my mom won't let me cut my hair short', and only posts about how awesome and/or 'beautiful' their friends are on Formspring, while not seeking any kind of community support or professional help, entirely seriously.
But, whatever. Maybe I'm wrong. I grew up in a small English town largely devoid of anything or anyone LGBT-related. Maybe that's how kids cope these days. But if it was (and is? I don't know) acceptable to say being outside the sexual norm was trendy, why is it so insensitive and ignorant to say that being outside the gender norm could be too?
That's just my opinion. It's not like I'm going around telling people that they're not trans enough, or thinking that they're lying. Teenage years are confusing. Is it offensive? I dunno. It's not directed at anyone here on Susan's, and I don't spend enough time in the blogosphere to think of any examples in particular. But it's something that grates on me from time to time, and I'm glad I'm not the only one to consider it.
Quote from: Solobear on July 30, 2011, 03:50:35 AM
but most young teenage trans people are FTM. MTF is still taboo in a lot of places ie, not as trendy. It's too different. I can't work out why there are so many more alleged FTMs than MTFs online, when statistics indicate the balance is with a big MTF majority in the real world.
Transgender is an umbrella term that encompasses transsexuals, cross dressers, and androgynes. Males dressing as females is ridiculed in U.S.; however, females dressing as males is ignored in U.S. This past week I saw a young girl model dressed in a male necktie. Do you realize most males hate neckties? They tend to wear them because they are expected to wear them to church and work and weddings, etc. Now women can wear a male necktie and be "trendy".
Yes I can agree women can be trendy and try to identify as a trans person. However it is not clothes that make you trans but how you feel inside. I have no problem if males want to wear female clothes but if male does it because it feels nice then it is a fetish not trans. Now if a female dresses in male clothes because she identifies as male then she is trans.
It is not trendy for a female to take T. It is not trendy for a female to remove her breasts. It is not trendy for GRS!
I do agree that females dressing like males is trendy. I do not think it cool. I wonder if females that call themselves trans go shopping for a bunch of girly stuff.
Now bisexuality is far more common than being "gay". My goodness at least 10% of population only wants sex with same gender. Bisexuality is much higher and is not accepted in society but it is also easier to hide bisexuality than being gay.
Crossdressing is trendy for girls but not boys.
Transsexualism is neither trendy for boys nor girls.
Interesting thread.
Well, I think it's how you look at it. I've been dressing as a male for as long as I can remember and way before I knew of trends. I also lived my life as female. I'd caution anyone on making assumptions about anyone (even women) who dress "male" merely for the trend. Some of them really do feel uncomfortable with the gender they were assigned at birth, but may not feel SO uncomfortable that they need to completely transition.
I don't think it's so much of a trend more than people are using it for attention.
I think people will do things like surgery and go on T just for attention. Some people are so f**ked up they will do anything for it.
Just look at Ashley Kirilow... she faked CANCER just for attention. CANCERRR. She shaved her head and plucked every single eyelash and eyebrow out. She even created a fake fundraiser and got money for it. Can you believe that?
And yes I remember when everyone was bisexual. Notice how those bisexual women never showed an interest at all in women BUT EVERYONE HAD TO BE AWARE THEY WERE BISEXUAL.
And for me to get T I just needed a referral from my family doctor and didn't need anything for my surgery.
I think if anyone is dumb enough to do those type of things and pay for them for attention just let them be stupid and ignore it.
funny enough i had this girl friend she told everyone she was gonna be a boy and call herself (insert boy name) and everyone went thats nice, didnt really give her attention about it. so about 1 month later she was (girl name again) and Denys ever saying she wanted to be a boy.......... Sad that some people use a curse to get attention.
Quote from: LilKittyCatZoey on July 30, 2011, 02:57:40 PM
funny enough i had this girl friend she told everyone she was gonna be a boy and call herself (insert boy name) and everyone went thats nice, didnt really give her attention about it. so about 1 month later she was (girl name again) and Denys ever saying she wanted to be a boy.......... Sad that some people use a curse to get attention.
Yeah I know exactly what you mean.
It pisses me off because being trans, this is serious, this is real life. I'm not playing dress up or some ->-bleeped-<-.
Quote from: Da Monkey on July 30, 2011, 03:08:15 PM
Yeah I know exactly what you mean.
It pisses me off because being trans, this is serious, this is real life. I'm not playing dress up or some ->-bleeped-<-.
Exactly!!!
Quote from: Solobear on July 30, 2011, 03:50:35 AM
Anyone who dares bring it up gets flamed for it, but yes, I think it's become trendy. It's still a lot more socially acceptable for a girl to dress and present as male, particularly teenagers. And when I browse Youtube or Tumblr blogs, the younger users are often the same type of kid - badly dyed hair, ugly piercings, ear plugs, baggy clothes and everything in their life is so random LOL. The same sort of kids as when I was fifteen, were saying they were gay, and blogging about being bisexual. Now that they're in their twenties, they quietly shut up about how gay they so were. Maybe it's just the types of channels and blogs I've visited, but most young teenage trans people are FTM. MTF is still taboo in a lot of places ie, not as trendy. It's too different. I can't work out why there are so many more alleged FTMs than MTFs online, when statistics indicate the balance is with a big MTF majority in the real world.
Of course it's not true for everything. Just like there are young people who are genuinely trans, genuinely homosexual, genuinely socialist, genuinely into metal, genuinely have addiction problems, there are many more who jump on the bandwagon, because it's always been cool to have something 'wrong' with you, and be outside the norm.
Maybe I'm being ->-bleeped-<-r-than-thou, but I just can't take a sixteen year old whose biggest problem is 'omg, my mom won't let me cut my hair short', and only posts about how awesome and/or 'beautiful' their friends are on Formspring, while not seeking any kind of community support or professional help, entirely seriously.
But, whatever. Maybe I'm wrong. I grew up in a small English town largely devoid of anything or anyone LGBT-related. Maybe that's how kids cope these days. But if it was (and is? I don't know) acceptable to say being outside the sexual norm was trendy, why is it so insensitive and ignorant to say that being outside the gender norm could be too?
That's just my opinion. It's not like I'm going around telling people that they're not trans enough, or thinking that they're lying. Teenage years are confusing. Is it offensive? I dunno. It's not directed at anyone here on Susan's, and I don't spend enough time in the blogosphere to think of any examples in particular. But it's something that grates on me from time to time, and I'm glad I'm not the only one to consider it.
I couldn't have said it better. I live in a small town on the east coast and every middle school/early high school aged kid here acts like this.
Quote from: Solobear on July 30, 2011, 03:50:35 AM
Anyone who dares bring it up gets flamed for it, but yes, I think it's become trendy. It's still a lot more socially acceptable for a girl to dress and present as male, particularly teenagers.
Bottom Line Here? Anything "male" is trendy and anything "feminine",
no matter who practices it . . . IS DEAD!
ie: "Sexy" Is Not Feminine - how did telka put it? It's the result of the
Hollywood Satin Worshipers, worse than homosexuals (
effeminate, nurturing males?)
Quote from: Da Monkey on July 30, 2011, 02:08:10 PM
I don't think it's so much of a trend more than people are using it for attention.
I think people will do things like surgery and go on T just for attention. Some people are so f**ked up they will do anything for it.
Just look at Ashley Kirilow... she faked CANCER just for attention. CANCERRR. She shaved her head and plucked every single eyelash and eyebrow out. She even created a fake fundraiser and got money for it. Can you believe that?
And yes I remember when everyone was bisexual. Notice how those bisexual women never showed an interest at all in women BUT EVERYONE HAD TO BE AWARE THEY WERE BISEXUAL.
And for me to get T I just needed a referral from my family doctor and didn't need anything for my surgery.
I think if anyone is dumb enough to do those type of things and pay for them for attention just let them be stupid and ignore it.
Quote from: LilKittyCatZoey on July 30, 2011, 02:57:40 PM
funny enough i had this girl friend she told everyone she was gonna be a boy and call herself (insert boy name) and everyone went thats nice, didnt really give her attention about it. so about 1 month later she was (girl name again) and Denys ever saying she wanted to be a boy.......... Sad that some people use a curse to get attention.
Hahaha oh god.
A girl I went to high school with (and unfortunately shared a bedroom with for a few months) pulled the cancer bs on a smaller scale and told me she had brain cancer while she was in a hysterical fit after getting into a fight with our other roommates. Needless to say I, nor anyone else, heard any more of it.
She was also the type of person to go on about being bisexual, and even lesbian, and then immediately sleep with and date several men.
It's annoying, but it definitely happens in the trans community too. Some people have attention problems. I believe there is a personality disorder, called Histrionic PD (I think), that involved just that sort of drastic attention-seeking behavior, that often causes a shifting, complicated sense of identity, sexual orientation, and gender identity.
Anyway. I do believe that the majority of those who identify as trans* are trans*. Like the counterargument to the argument of homosexuality ("Why are there so many f**s these days?"), it's because this generation is pushing social change. People feel safer to come out, regardless as to what they are coming out. A lot of young people see their peers and think, "Well coming out solved their problems, which sound a lot like mine. Maybe that's what I should do."
Hell, even before I came out I occasionally joked (to myself), "Man, now so-and-so's trans, and so-and-so is trans. Who's gonna be next, me??"
Lol.
There might be some people identifying as androgynous, 'bois', genderqueer, etc. because it's trendy. I'm open to that possibility. Genderqueer in particular seems to be adopted by some people as a political label.
I seriously doubt any but a small handful actually end up transitioning, and those probably don't go very far (maybe top surgery?). If you're not transsexual, physically transitioning will make you transsexual - and having endured cross-sex hormones for 15 long years, I can be pretty much assured from firsthand experience that it would be immediately obvious how wrong it is. My brain doesn't function on E...in fact, it tried to kill me quite a few times.
(Just in case, for anyone reading this who's having doubts about your transition: if hormone treatment is making you feel worse, stop. Now.)
Quote from: Ryan J on July 30, 2011, 04:32:52 PM
Hahaha oh god.
A girl I went to high school with (and unfortunately shared a bedroom with for a few months) pulled the cancer bs on a smaller scale and told me she had brain cancer while she was in a hysterical fit after getting into a fight with our other roommates. Needless to say I, nor anyone else, heard any more of it.
She was also the type of person to go on about being bisexual, and even lesbian, and then immediately sleep with and date several men.
It's annoying, but it definitely happens in the trans community too. Some people have attention problems. I believe there is a personality disorder, called Histrionic PD (I think), that involved just that sort of drastic attention-seeking behavior, that often causes a shifting, complicated sense of identity, sexual orientation, and gender identity.
Anyway. I do believe that the majority of those who identify as trans* are trans*. Like the counterargument to the argument of homosexuality ("Why are there so many f**s these days?"), it's because this generation is pushing social change. People feel safer to come out, regardless as to what they are coming out. A lot of young people see their peers and think, "Well coming out solved their problems, which sound a lot like mine. Maybe that's what I should do."
Hell, even before I came out I occasionally joked (to myself), "Man, now so-and-so's trans, and so-and-so is trans. Who's gonna be next, me??"
Lol.
Its is so sad they couldnt even begin to know how we really feel because they so self obsessed in begin the centre of attention they will fake anything!! I have had people tell me their sisters were the charlies angels and stupid thing like that its sad when people seek attention through lying. All it will do is cause the "cried wolf to many times" effect.
Quote from: emil on July 29, 2011, 05:50:06 PMthen of course there's always the claim that young girls want to find male privilege and thus decide they want to be boys.
I have a lesbian friend who claims transitioning was sweeping through her social circles in S.F. She also claims they're seeking male privilege. Apparently she was presumptuously asked on more than one occasion when she was planning to start transitioning and had to explain that she didn't have any such plans. I think that might have been what set her off onto a somewhat negative viewpoint and feeling like it was trendy. She's pretty admittedly on the butch side of lesbian with a short haircut, being a carpenter, starting bar brawls for fun, (Just kidding about that last part. That's my now-deceased aunt, God rest her soul.) but says she very much likes being female.
Quote from: Nezhi on July 29, 2011, 04:35:27 PM
More FTMs open on youtube, with their channel = trend.
Being FTM = not a trend.
I think this does relate to a question that was frequently discussed on Susans several years ago. "If there are supposed to be as many FtMs as there are MtFs, why don't we seen them posting anywhere?" Fast forward to today and the answer is that they are here and they are posting.
Quote from: Ryan J on July 30, 2011, 04:32:52 PM
A lot of young people see their peers and think, "Well coming out solved their problems, which sound a lot like mine. Maybe that's what I should do."
Hell, even before I came out I occasionally joked (to myself), "Man, now so-and-so's trans, and so-and-so is trans. Who's gonna be next, me??"
Lol.
Actually trans people suffer same health issues as rest of society. After you transition you still have all life issues. E makes me feel better than T but my clothing is rather in between. You are trans by your feelings inside not by your clothes. Clothes are just an outward expression and also change with times.
I would love for males to just wear pretty things and it be cool. I like positive attention but not negative attention.
I would be interested in FTM's opinion of wearing "pretty" clothes. Do you think it is cool and wear them or just "not male" so that you will not do that?
Quote from: LilKittyCatZoey on July 30, 2011, 02:57:40 PM
funny enough i had this girl friend she told everyone she was gonna be a boy and call herself (insert boy name) and everyone went thats nice, didnt really give her attention about it. so about 1 month later she was (girl name again) and Denys ever saying she wanted to be a boy.......... Sad that some people use a curse to get attention.
well I do sometimes put lies on me who cause attention but it manly because I don't like to tell the trust.
ex I have told people I got a illness with my lungs but the trust is I been binding since I where a teen
and that's why there so damaged. generally I don't like to tell people so I just say I got a "illness." I know i'm so bad.. hehe
---------
im sorry if this gonna be a little of topic I just write whats on my mind.
I have a couple of people who said they wanted to be a guy/girl not nessesarry as being trans.
it can annoy me endless in some cases,
I love people who are open about themself, as being manly femenine, trans, crossdresser, genderqueer or whatever,
but people should do it because of them self and not just to be cool.. (its also annoy me before getting out I where like
"wow your so cool because your so boyish" and now there like "your so girly I don't want to be with you" )
in the end I think someone who put up with this only for other people gonna pay the hardest prize because its really not easy to be diffrent specially not in your gender.
--
but the "funny" thing is, its everywhere that people try to fit in, or look smarter than they are not just in this case.
a time ago I felt strange because I where hanging a little out with people from the alternative comunety.
you know, people who dress as they like and in many ways, cyber, punk,goth, and whatever..
my feelings of the word "alternative" is to be people who just want to be them self and not following fashion, or the pattern other want to or think is cool, (please correct me if i'm wrong but that's my view of it)
still, I felt not all got that view and underneath the blue hair they where still somehow only fitting in where they could and the only alternative with them where the alternative style but there mind where still focusing on fitting in.
its hard to explain but ex I where sitting close to one of my friends who are a virgin and
said she where proud of it in a conversation with another girl,
the other girl said she shouldn't be proud of it because she lost her virginity at the age of 14.
well
my friend are 16, and I thought there's really nothing wrong with her being a virgin and being proud about it. (its not even that abnormal in her age) but there little conversation made me feel so strange.. because, if she where really just being herself, not minding about fitting in,
then why would she mind other to fit in in her pattern? refering someone to lose there virginity because it where uncool to be a virgin when you where "that old"?
for me that sounded like someone who just wanted to fit in, and made other fit in not thinking about how she feel, or the fact shes actually happy and proud of being a virgin and its not something shes wasn't sad about at all and still she dont like it because its uncool?..
for me its not much diffrent form so many other people. whatever its a matter of alcohol, fashion, sexualety and so on, theres a presure of fitting in and be cool.
it really made me think...
I had a tumblr for a week, but it was irritating because it seemed like EVERYBODY on there was flaunting that they were genderqueer or trans - mostly FTM. I don't get it. I thought that if you were a transgender guy, you didn't want people to know you were female.
I have a "friend" who is, truthfully, only "friends" with me because I'm trans. She has 10+ "transguys" as friends, all who flaunt it to the extreme and dress as feminine as possible. I'm really trying to not sound rude, but I don't get it. If you're a transguy, I would think that you would stay away from girl clothes and whatnot, but the transguy that my "friend" is practically in love with dresses in Hollister girl clothes, skirts, pink wigs, and then gets mad when someone calls them a girl.
Then again, they hate me because they think I'm being "stereotypically" male. I'm a dude. I'm masculine. I didn't know I was trying to be a stereotype. I'm sorry I don't want to strut down a street in bright wigs and girls clothes and get stared at like you do. He LOVES attention though, apparently. Ironically.
Another transguy I know is apparently having an identity crisis, in his own words, because he doesn't know if he's transgender or genderqueer. Am I the only one who has never had an identity crisis? When I found out what being trans meant, I was all, "Holy ->-bleeped-<-, that's me." I had a difficult time trying to be a girl.
I hate when people find out that I'm trans. I don't want to be trans. Being trans sucks ass. I'm just a guy - that's all I want to be.
On another note, can someone explain the whole genderqueer thing to me?
I'm trying to understand it, but I just don't. I understand being a girl in a boy's body or vice versa due to a hormonal imbalance in the womb, but how can you feel like both or neither? Not to mention, the only time I ever see a genderqueer is on tumblr and they're female-bodied with gauges, poorly dyed hair, etc.
Edit:// I feel like I should note that I don't have a problem with transguy who are feminine.
I think its more like you feel like both, than feeling like 'neither.'
Tumblr is not exactly a good representation of the general population - I went on there *because* it seemed like that's where all the FTMs were hanging out. Maybe because it seems so much more anonymous than most other social networking sites. I think once a topic reaches a certain critical mass over there, like that or Glee or Harry Potter, it exerts its own gravitational force and sucks in more of the same.
FTMs aren't trending, information is. You haven't really arrived until you've got your own awareness ribbon! ;D
Quote from: Devyn on July 31, 2011, 02:42:15 PM
I had a tumblr for a week, but it was irritating because it seemed like EVERYBODY on there was flaunting that they were genderqueer or trans - mostly FTM. I don't get it. I thought that if you were a transgender guy, you didn't want people to know you were female.
I have a "friend" who is, truthfully, only "friends" with me because I'm trans. She has 10+ "transguys" as friends, all who flaunt it to the extreme and dress as feminine as possible. I'm really trying to not sound rude, but I don't get it. If you're a transguy, I would think that you would stay away from girl clothes and whatnot, but the transguy that my "friend" is practically in love with dresses in Hollister girl clothes, skirts, pink wigs, and then gets mad when someone calls them a girl.
Then again, they hate me because they think I'm being "stereotypically" male. I'm a dude. I'm masculine. I didn't know I was trying to be a stereotype. I'm sorry I don't want to strut down a street in bright wigs and girls clothes and get stared at like you do. He LOVES attention though, apparently. Ironically.
Another transguy I know is apparently having an identity crisis, in his own words, because he doesn't know if he's transgender or genderqueer. Am I the only one who has never had an identity crisis? When I found out what being trans meant, I was all, "Holy ->-bleeped-<-, that's me." I had a difficult time trying to be a girl.
I hate when people find out that I'm trans. I don't want to be trans. Being trans sucks ass. I'm just a guy - that's all I want to be.
On another note, can someone explain the whole genderqueer thing to me?
I'm trying to understand it, but I just don't. I understand being a girl in a boy's body or vice versa due to a hormonal imbalance in the womb, but how can you feel like both or neither? Not to mention, the only time I ever see a genderqueer is on tumblr and they're female-bodied with gauges, poorly dyed hair, etc.
Edit:// I feel like I should note that I don't have a problem with transguy who are feminine.
I'd like to point out that not every trans* person has an "a-ha moment" about being trans. For some people it's a process and others, they've known forever. I'd be careful to pass judgement on those having an "identity crisis" as your friend puts it. Everyone's journey is there own and no less valid than any yours. I have a friend who feels like they are both, but does consider themselves transgender. I can't quite explain why since I don't think that's my place and frankly, can't explain why someone else feels that way. What I will say is I don't think it's any less valid then someone claiming to be a transman. I consider the word transgender to be an umbrella term for all gender variants anyway.
I see some judgement on this thread as to what trans is and isn't. Who is and who isn't. I guess I kind-of opened that can of worms by asking the question. I would like to see some of these tumblr kids in 10 years though.
You know what, it bother me too sometimes. I even had a facebook friend who was transgender for a month and than changed HER mind. I knew her before my transition so she knows my story. She changed her name and gender to male in her profile, cut her hair, wore male clothing and posted trans related links. Then one day she was back to her old self and refused to talk about what happened. It was really strange.
It got under my skin because it seemed she was invalidating my experience. Also I'm not sure how she regards me now, since it was so easily thrown aside for her. Worse yet, it hurts the transgender cause when outsiders see people claiming to be trans one day and than changing their mind. It really makes it all seem like a choice. You don't see people backtracking to much in homosexual circles. At least not with gay men.
Then I thought more about it and decided that she was entitled to her own experience and her own journey. The choices she makes does NOT reflect on the choices I make for myself. If other people think her choices define me, that's their problem, not mine.
There are plenty of young teens out there trying out the FTM route who will end up going back to female. I can say that with certainty because that is the way it is. That's good for them, that's fine for them. They are attempting to figure themselves and they should be allowed to do it. I will respect whatever pronoun people ask me to say and think. Even if I do think in the back of my head that it is a phase. There is a very good chance I might be wrong.
Everyone defines their own experience. It's not up to me to make up their minds for them. In the end most will find their correct path. Now, then and after they will have my support no matter what they choose. It doesn't matter because I just like people.
Quote from: Devyn on July 31, 2011, 02:42:15 PM
On another note, can someone explain the whole genderqueer thing to me?
I'm trying to understand it, but I just don't. I understand being a girl in a boy's body or vice versa due to a hormonal imbalance in the womb, but how can you feel like both or neither?
Sounds like a good question to ask the androgynes on this site.
Quote from: Alexmakenoise on July 31, 2011, 05:37:06 PM
Sounds like a good question to ask the androgynes on this site.
Perhaps I will.
Quote from: Darrin on July 31, 2011, 04:30:34 PM
I'd like to point out that not every trans* person has an "a-ha moment" about being trans. For some people it's a process and others, they've known forever. I'd be careful to pass judgement on those having an "identity crisis" as your friend puts it. Everyone's journey is there own and no less valid than any yours. I have a friend who feels like they are both, but does consider themselves transgender. I can't quite explain why since I don't think that's my place and frankly, can't explain why someone else feels that way. What I will say is I don't think it's any less valid then someone claiming to be a transman. I consider the word transgender to be an umbrella term for all gender variants anyway.
I see some judgement on this thread as to what trans is and isn't. Who is and who isn't. I guess I kind-of opened that can of worms by asking the question. I would like to see some of these tumblr kids in 10 years though.
Do know what really amazed me about transmen I met? They tended to be real nice and very sensitive.
I tend to live "between genders" and most people refer to me as "Sir". Reason thread appeals to me is that I present "male" at many of my group meetings. A number of MTF's thought me a FTM which makes me chuckle.
Last year I was having dinner with a delightful FTM that accompanied a MTF professor and after dinner nature called. I visited male restroom because I "look" male and dress in between. FTM walked in restroom and appologized to me. "He" totally passed and I told him not to apologize. Picture this: I visit male restroom looking between genders and FTM visits restroom looking male and FTM apologizes to me! Wow he was very sensitive and that impressed me. He was worried about my feelings!
Clothes do not make you transgender but you do not know how a person feels inside. Maybe is is a trend and maybe it is not. Kindness and respect will always win. Cursing is not cool and not male. It is just crude.
I noticed today that major department store was advertising dress shoes in many colors...for men! My goodness what took so long!
I love Jerry Garcia ties. Wow they are silk and very beautiful. Hey if you must wear a tie wear one of these!
You must be a bigger man than rest and show respect to everyone and all women will love you for it! A MTF that transitions is rare; a FTM that transitions is rarer indeed!
Quote from: wendy on July 31, 2011, 07:05:20 PM
Do know what really amazed me about transmen I met? They tended to be real nice and very sensitive.
I tend to live "between genders" and most people refer to me as "Sir". Reason thread appeals to me is that I present "male" at many of my group meetings. A number of MTF's thought me a FTM which makes me chuckle.
Last year I was having dinner with a delightful FTM that accompanied a MTF professor and after dinner nature called. I visited male restroom because I "look" male and dress in between. FTM walked in restroom and appologized to me. "He" totally passed and I told him not to apologize. Picture this: I visit male restroom looking between genders and FTM visits restroom looking male and FTM apologizes to me! Wow he was very sensitive and that impressed me. He was worried about my feelings!
Clothes do not make you transgender but you do not know how a person feels inside. Maybe is is a trend and maybe it is not. Kindness and respect will always win. Cursing is not cool and not male. It is just crude.
I noticed today that major department store was advertising dress shoes in many colors...for men! My goodness what took so long!
I love Jerry Garcia ties. Wow they are silk and very beautiful. Hey if you must wear a tie wear one of these!
You must be a bigger man than rest and show respect to everyone and all women will love you for it! A MTF that transitions is rare; a FTM that transitions is rarer indeed!
I'm not quite sure how what I said relates to this, but I do try to be respectful of everyone as best as I can. It's very important to show respect no matter the gender. I don't buy into the "I'm a dude, I need to be rude/crude" junk. I'm not that old, but too old for that. I'm not changing my personality to meet some standard of "maleness". (please note, I don't think being rude/crude is "male" or that all ftms should/are like this. TOTALLY not true). But honestly, this journey is about being comfortable with myself not a trans standard.
Also, I do agree that it's not the clothes that make a person transgendered, but what they feel inside. I personally think that when we talk about trends we see a lot of young teens on tumblr/youtube etc talking about being ftm and other than what is said on the blog/vlog we're unaware of how they feel. I guess my point to make in general here is, we don't know who "really is trans" or who isn't. It's such an individual journey and I personally can't say who's "for real" and who isn't. It's none of my business anyway. What someone does in internet land doesn't effect my everyday life and people go through this journey differently. Some people arrive at transition and a lot don't. That's all I'm trying to say.
Quote from: Darrin on July 31, 2011, 07:53:17 PM
I'm not quite sure how what I said relates to this, but I do try to be respectful of everyone as best as I can. It's very important to show respect no matter the gender. I don't buy into the "I'm a dude, I need to be rude/crude" junk.
Darrin, some MTF feel it is cool to curse. My children are very respectful of people and love and respect me. They do not curse and I am proud of them!
Quote from: CB on July 31, 2011, 06:55:45 PM
At one point I identified as an FTM, in fact, a very binary transsexual type seeing as I plan to have everything done, including bottom surgery. I had a prejudice against the femme FTMs and genderqueer people, quite a fierce one. My dysphoria was terrible, and a part of me felt threatened by these people who could express parts of themselves so freely while all I wanted was to transition and not make a fuss. I'm white, middle-class, I behave in a masculine and way. Most of my values have Judeo-Christian roots. So when I transitioned, I would be the "everyman." So these people (femme and genderqueer) threatened my identity; how could anyone take me seriously when they saw all these people drawing attention to themselves and going against society's comfort zone?
CB we all start female and some of us get stuck being male so that we can repopulate world! Why would any female want to be male? I feel exactly way you feel only on opposite side. Hey I dress male because I was socialized male. Just because I do not run around in a dress does not make me invalid! I just tried to survive!
Only 10% of transsexuals will transition. Surgeries are brutal and expensive. Now let's say 10 times that number "dress for attention". That means 10% ftm "cross dressers" may never transition but truly feel a disconnect on gender. Can you pick which ones are looking for attention and which ones feel a disconnect with gender?
I hope both genders want to be more expressive in their clothes! Yes it is trendy for females to dress as a male but at end of day how many females want to cut off their breasts just as how many males prefer to have breasts? Very few... but we are special and we are more sensitive than them and one day we will be appreciated again.
FTM trend...yes. Which ones... don't know. Sensitive...Always. Why...they have their own problems!
I don't understand why pretending to be trans* has become a fad, honestly.
I seriously can not log in to tumblr anymore without seeing almost every other teen girl's blog claiming to be FTM. A couple friends and friends of friends have done it, even.
Now my friend-- we'll call her S-- went overboard with this "fad". She was a lesbian for the longest time. However, after my friend and I finally decided to come out to our friends, S decided that she was going to be FTM too. It was a "cool idea", she told us. Um, lol. Anyway, she went on calling herself "Rowan" for about 2 or 3 months. Then, she decided she was bigender and started using the "we" pronoun.. though she didn't even bother to properly look in to what being bigendered was, and tumblr is full of anons who are ready and willing to give their blunt, honest opinions. She was called out on this, then decided to be FTM again. A week or so later, she was a lesbian once more.
In the end, it turned out she was only trying to impress my friend that I had mentioned before.
I can't see why anyone would turn this into a fad, that repulses me to no end and it gives us honest transfolk a bad reputation.