I know it's a strange question... but sometimes (like now), I just feel like my hormones are making me crazy. I find myself obsessing over these minutiae details sometimes that I can't seem to get past... things like my weight, or the tiny bump remaining of my adam's apple after I had it shaved, parts of my body and so on. Some of you may remember that I did a thread about wanting to detransition a few months back because I was having these same issues. It's not that I want to be a guy, it's just that I didn't obsess like I do now... or feel so crazy at times... so sometimes the idea of going backwards can sound appealing.
Does anyone else feel like this at times? Sorry if I dampened anybodies day with this thread =)
I'm certifiable!!! ;)
* Does anyone else feel like this at times? Sorry if I dampened anybodies day with this thread =)
*
YEEEEEEEES! We all do, nothing new in this zoo :-)
But in the end, girls are thougher then you know --- and so we pull through, sooner or later.
I went nuts about sooooo, many different things, oh my.
Ask me now? --- Different stuff yet again. That's why we girls need girl friends.
Hormones are a bitch at times.
Hang in there babe, it's par for the course :-)
Love,
Axelle
Oooo oo me me :D
Things are definitely mentally different... and it can be a bit unsettling. From emotional responses to what would typically be non-issues, to just how I generally feel (sometimes, it feels like I am TOO calm). And then, add in the stress from transition and all the fears in general combined with just general stress of life... and it can feel like a lot.
I thought about stopping a couple times (only 4 months into hormones), but each time it is a fleeting thought (because, really, the effects are just so great P:
I just tell myself that I need to get used to things. That emotional unpredictability will mellow out after a couple years... and that after transition social issues will be taken care of...
A little craziness at least makes things interesting :)
That would be me. I had a reaction to he lortab and prednisone they gave me for my back. I broke out in hives ALL over. Jeez louise I got depressed after seeing all the little bumps all over me.
I dont think its the hormones as much as it is my desire to look stunning. The thing is, everyone could say I look stunning, and I could still find flaw after flaw, so go figure....
Actually... No.
HRT has had quite the opposite effect for me at least. I'm much happier and comfortable with my physical appearance and metal/emotional state. Definitely all positive stuff in my book.
I think we tend to be over-critical of ourselves, which is the nature of things. Sometimes you just can't always worry over the details. :-\
Seems to me like you're feeling how girls feel all the time haha. You know how females are, they worry about appearance, weight, etc.... Maybe not all women are this way but it just sounds to me like you are just worrying about things that any other female worries about. Since you are on hormones then things can feel more overwhelming than usual- i did not figure this out until i hit puberty cuz frankly i didnt pay too much attention to those things until i experienced them, i may not take hormones but trust me i know it! It might be the hormones but it seems to me that ur just being a normal woman :laugh:
Quote from: Sarah7 on July 30, 2011, 09:04:33 AM
I know we're all supposed to go crazy and emotional and whatever, but me... I feel like I'm actually in control of my emotions for the first time since I hit puberty. I don't feel half-dead anymore. I don't have random bursts of anger or irritation or get upset for no reason. I don't feel like I'm half an inch from slipping back into depression. I actually try to eat properly. I haven't even thought about cutting in months.
I'm glad that I'm alive now. Obsessing over my appearance is just a side effect of giving a damn about anything. The idea of going backwards... ugg, I'd rather die.
Besides, without a little crazy, we'd be so boring. ;)
Sounds like the perfect answer for me as well :D :D
Well, I assume this is what all women have to put up with... hence I say it's the hormones that are making me crazy =)
It's just that I've known different before, since I wasn't always a girl... and that thought seems to make the crazy feeling more profound... knowing that I am choosing to take hormones knowing that they make me feel crazy at times. You can't miss what you never had, but I've had a much more calm sense of mind when being as a guy... I was just unhappy because I wanted to be a girl. Now, as a girl, I find myself obsessing over tiny things in my appearance... and I pass completely. I think these would be more valid concerns if I didn't pass, but since I pass 100% then it makes me feel like I'm crazy to have these obsessions. I've been on hormones for over 2 years and to me it seems like the crazy feelings are getting more profound as time progresses. However, as time progresses, I am considering srs and ba... and maybe it's the thought of "there is no turning back after these" that is causing my mind to go so berserk at times.
I almost dislike being a girl as much as I did being a guy... but at least as a girl I can express myself how I truly feel.
I'm almost certain your dysphoria would return, if you quit the estrogen. You would probably have done earlier on, if it didn't give you anything.
Hormones aren't making me crazy, but sure have put a smile on my face.
Quote from: Tracy Stevens on July 30, 2011, 04:27:58 PM
Hormones aren't making me crazy, but sure have put a smile on my face.
The best people in the world are crazy (from Johnny Depp's "Alice In Wonderland")
So Get Used To It!Definition of crazy? I'm
Right (it's the rest of the world that's
so WRONG,WRONG WRONG!)
(dosing info inserted here)
Quote from: VannaSiamese on July 30, 2011, 01:44:12 AM
I know it's a strange question... but sometimes (like now), I just feel like my hormones are making me crazy. I find myself obsessing over these minutiae details sometimes that I can't seem to get past... things like my weight, or the tiny bump remaining of my adam's apple after I had it shaved, parts of my body and so on. Some of you may remember that I did a thread about wanting to detransition a few months back because I was having these same issues. It's not that I want to be a guy, it's just that I didn't obsess like I do now... or feel so crazy at times... so sometimes the idea of going backwards can sound appealing.
Does anyone else feel like this at times? Sorry if I dampened anybodies day with this thread =)
Yhese things have othing to do with the hormones, they have to do with you having GID
Kate D
I was crazy to begin with :P
Sometimes I get a little PMS'ey but I can't say that I've experienced what you've described. Hormones helped me feel like less of an emotional zombie.
Quote from: VannaSiamese on July 30, 2011, 12:11:56 PM
Well, I assume this is what all women have to put up with... hence I say it's the hormones that are making me crazy =)
It's just that I've known different before, since I wasn't always a girl... and that thought seems to make the crazy feeling more profound... knowing that I am choosing to take hormones knowing that they make me feel crazy at times. You can't miss what you never had, but I've had a much more calm sense of mind when being as a guy... I was just unhappy because I wanted to be a girl. Now, as a girl, I find myself obsessing over tiny things in my appearance... and I pass completely. I think these would be more valid concerns if I didn't pass, but since I pass 100% then it makes me feel like I'm crazy to have these obsessions. I've been on hormones for over 2 years and to me it seems like the crazy feelings are getting more profound as time progresses. However, as time progresses, I am considering srs and ba... and maybe it's the thought of "there is no turning back after these" that is causing my mind to go so berserk at times.
I almost dislike being a girl as much as I did being a guy... but at least as a girl I can express myself how I truly feel.
Well at the end of the day, you have to live with yourself, and for yourself. Hormones or not. You have to be happy and content with you. Not with or for anyone else. I never personally had that same sense of calm as guy. Totally the opposite for me. It felt like I was putting on an act all the time, like I was on-stage 24/7 looking around to see if anyone noticed if anything that I said or did that was for lack of a better phrase "un-manly". I just wasn't confident enough to express who I really was at that point.
Also, passing at the end of the day has little to do with how you deal and feel about yourself. You have to do it for you, not anyone else. I passed without HRT for years... HRT has little to do with passing IMHO. They are not as closely related as so many like to connect the two. There's soooooo much more to it. If you couldn't "pass" pre-HRT chances are those little magic pills aren't going to change you a whole bunch without some extra work. Diet, exercise, and other lifestyle changes are far more potent. HRT is more like icing on the cake... but you have to like the cake to begin with.
;)
Quote from: JennX on July 30, 2011, 07:34:45 PM
Well at the end of the day, you have to live with yourself, and for yourself. Hormones or not. You have to be happy and content with you. Not with or for anyone else. I never personally had that same sense of calm as guy. Totally the opposite for me. It felt like I was putting on an act all the time, like I was on-stage 24/7 looking around to see if anyone noticed if anything that I said or did that was for lack of a better phrase "un-manly". I just wasn't confident enough to express who I really was at that point.
Also, passing at the end of the day has little to do with how you deal and feel about yourself. You have to do it for you, not anyone else. I passed without HRT for years... HRT has little to do with passing IMHO. They are not as closely related as so many like to connect the two. There's soooooo much more to it. If you couldn't "pass" pre-HRT chances are those little magic pills aren't going to change you a whole bunch without some extra work. Diet, exercise, and other lifestyle changes are far more potent. HRT is more like icing on the cake... but you have to like the cake to begin with.
;)
Hehe that's an interesting analogy about HRT =) Thank you!
I was trying to make the point that my obsessions don't seem logical, because they aren't about passing or not... they are about this little tiny details that seem insignificant. I clearly have some sort of body issues, but I feel like hormones have really amplified these issues. As a guy my body obsessions were mild and healthy to a certain extent... like I would exercise everyday, eat right and such. But I never felt like I shouldn't leave my house because of my appearance... and I feel like that some times now.
Most days I am fine, but it seems like every month or two I have an episode where I just sorta lose it inside my head, and I think the severity of these episodes are related to my hormones. Somebody said earlier that this is related to my GID, and they may be right... but I think it goes beyond that.
Like, I have a tiny bump where my adam's apple was shaved, and for some reason I obsess over it. You can see it in some of my pictures and it bothers me like crazy. I think the majority of my issues are related to my weight, I'm so underweight and I can't help it. If I just put on 10-20 lbs then my neck wouldn't be so skinny... you can see all the different cartilages and things in my neck and it grosses me out.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi51.tinypic.com%2Fvsfjmw.jpg&hash=42a8b393dc5cfd310718a9093927bc9415e35898) (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi53.tinypic.com%2F2q158ch.jpg&hash=66796c9945639ed9e7c3e36cab9a3ea261ee2908)
These are pics I've posted in another thread, and I can't look at them without getting past my neck.
I know I sound crazy but I'm really pretty normal and stable if you were to meet me, I just have these episodes where I sorta flip out =( So I made this thread because I wanted to see if anyone else was having this problem
Quote from: VannaSiamese on July 30, 2011, 08:10:27 PM
Hehe that's an interesting analogy about HRT =) Thank you!
I was trying to make the point that my obsessions don't seem logical, because they aren't about passing or not... they are about this little tiny details that seem insignificant. I clearly have some sort of body issues, but I feel like hormones have really amplified these issues. As a guy my body obsessions were mild and healthy to a certain extent... like I would exercise everyday, eat right and such. But I never felt like I shouldn't leave my house because of my appearance... and I feel like that some times now.
Most days I am fine, but it seems like every month or two I have an episode where I just sorta lose it inside my head, and I think the severity of these episodes are related to my hormones. Somebody said earlier that this is related to my GID, and they may be right... but I think it goes beyond that.
Like, I have a tiny bump where my adam's apple was shaved, and for some reason I obsess over it. You can see it in some of my pictures and it bothers me like crazy. I think the majority of my issues are related to my weight, I'm so underweight and I can't help it. If I just put on 10-20 lbs then my neck wouldn't be so skinny... you can see all the different cartilages and things in my neck and it grosses me out.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi51.tinypic.com%2Fvsfjmw.jpg&hash=42a8b393dc5cfd310718a9093927bc9415e35898) (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi53.tinypic.com%2F2q158ch.jpg&hash=66796c9945639ed9e7c3e36cab9a3ea261ee2908)
These are pics I've posted in another thread, and I can't look at them without getting past my neck.
I know I sound crazy but I'm really pretty normal and stable if you were to meet me, I just have these episodes where I sorta flip out =( So I made this thread because I wanted to see if anyone else was having this problem
Welcome! ;D
I'm also pretty tall and have a longer neck than some I suppose, which is maybe why I wear my hair down a lot. :-\
Anywho, based on your pics, you look like a beautiful girl. Period. I don't see or read anything beyond that. I live in a city with a large MTF population. I run into more MTFs on my way to Starbucks, than most people do in their lifetime, and trust me, based on looks, you're in the top 10%. ;) Don't sweat it. Really. I do agree that GID in general makes us more aware and particular about our appearance in general. It turns many of us into perfectionists I guess you could say. We are always struggling to attain that picture of ideal perfection we have in our head. In years past, I pretty much wouldn't leave the house without spending 2 hours on my make-up, in order to get it just right. Literally. This is a pain especially when you have to get up 2 hours extra early in the morning... every morning. :-\ Lucklily, I've been able to get it down to about 1 hour now though. :D
Vanna, honey, HRT isn't comparable to the natural oestrogen/testosterone that genetic females/males have. Big Pharma has dreadfully mislead us with HRT. Which don't forget isn't designed for people like us. It is designed for 40 something genetic women who want to maintain a relatively youthful appearance and a moist vagina. These women are NOT looking for breast development, their breasts developed 25-30 years ago. The same goes for Spiro, if you got your information here at Susan's about Spiro then you could well be forgiven for thinking that Spiro is an anti-androgen with blood pressure lowering as a secondary function. The terrible truth is that Spiro is first-and-foremost a drug used to lower blood pressure, and claims that it lowers significantly androgens circulating in the male body is anecdotal at best. I don't want my fellow transsexuals/transgender to get their hopes up that hrt is a wonder drug that will give you normal size breasts for your chest size if only you will hang in there long enough. Do I need to say it again? Hrt isn't designed for us. It is designed for middle-aged genetic women. You are taking something that isn't designed for a male body. Something that will never give you anything beyond poached eggs sized breasts and will damage your liver long-term. How sensible is that?
I've had these kind of obsessive feelings for many, many years before ever starting HRT.
Vanna, my post above wasn't aimed solely at you. I have seen your photos Vanna and you are beautiful and completely passable.
I've felt like I was going crazy, like literally going to end up in the asylum or something.
For me it has taken time for my body to get used to the hormone changes, and it's been bumpy at times for me. One big thing I noticed once I went full time (and started HRT) was that I became hyper aware of my body. I mean, for the first time in my life I really wanted to be in my body. I became hyper careful about wearing my seat belt, and driving carefully for example. But I also noticed other things, like when my body would twitch for example it would freak me out like something might be wrong, or if I got a headache I might think I had a brain tumor or something. I'd lie awake in bed at night freaking out that I had gone through all this stress of dealing with being trans and accepting this path only to die from some disease. Multiple times this has gone into full on panic attacks, and I've even lost sleep over it (which I always make up eventually, but still).
What's weird is that most days I feel totally normal and just like an average girl. I'm so content and happy and people around me even comment about how much more content and happy I seem compared to my old self. I think that my body must be going through stages of fighting the HRT or something sometimes because there are some days I just feel really off. Much more susceptible to anxiety and self doubt and fear.
One day about a month ago after a couple rough nights with anxiety and doubt I awoke to just find myself in a funk. Around noon I finally relented and just gave up. I thought maybe I was just crashing from transition and something was wrong. So I got out some boy clothes and just told myself I'd be a boy for the day. I got completely dressed in boy clothes, thinking that at least I'd find a little relief for a few hours while I sorted stuff out.
It did nothing. I still felt just as messed up as before. Being a boy didn't help. I still felt the same. Which actually cheered me up. :) Boy mode wasn't the cure for me.
Anyway, I've been much better lately. I still have moments of panic and anxiety. I think I'm still getting used to this new body, and certainly getting used to caring about it and wanting it to be healthy. I don't actually go crazy, I just feel like I am sometimes.
I am crazy from NOT being on any meds. When I first got on E my moodiness and mental distress disappeared and I could function very well.
Princess, when I began taking Spiro my sexual function began to decrease and seminal discharge became increasingly clear fluid only and my testicles shrank drastically in a very short amount of time-they went from say bigger than a silver dollar to being the size of a nickel and my sexual function was gone. I am not sure that qualifies as ancedotal-I'm just saying it worked for me as an anti-androgen. When I included Estrogen injections with that my secondary characteristics started to develop also very quickly so I am satisfied with the result and am looking forward to going on hrt again soon.
Randi
Quote from: Princess of Hearts on July 30, 2011, 09:43:37 PM
Vanna, my post above wasn't aimed solely at you. I have seen your photos Vanna and you are beautiful and completely passable.
Thank you, you're post was very insightful =)
My breasts are going to be a different story though. I have Pectus Excavatum, which gives me a slight dip in my chest. Even if I did grow bigger boobs, they still would look a little off because my chest caves in. They can correct it a lot when doing BA though, by how they arrange the implants. I will need to go to somebody who specializes in breasts though for them to correct it...
Madelyn, I tried this same thing with guy cloths about 2 months ago. All it did was divert my attention from my problems to trying to be a guy... but soon the diversion wore off and I somehow fell back into being a girl. I just get these feelings that i'll never be satisfied, and that's what drives me crazy. However, some days I'm on top of the world... it just comes and goes. About 80% of the time I'm as happy and confident as can be, and then for about a week straight I'll get really anxious and upset about unimportant details on my body. I am doing better though, just posting it and not keeping it bottled up has helped a lot. I try to hide my periodic crazy obsessions from others, much like I tried to hide my femininity years ago... =)
From the other posts seems I'm not the only one that goes back & forth, up & down, in & out. Big doses of E were the only things that calmed me down. Hot flashes were scary but I got used to them. Since relocating I'm having a struggle to resume HRT & a new doc. I'll be so gald when all is back to normal. I'm a little/lot crazy without them.
Hormones don't just have a physical effect. They also effect how the brain operates. I have certainly noticed big changes in my emotions. Don't discount their effect on the brain. Emotional swings are common as you are effectively going through a second puberty. Frustration and anxiety can also be effects especially early in transition as your body tries to fight back and restore T levels. For FTMs Testosterone can increase agreesion and give a short temper.
Quote from: Princess of Hearts on July 30, 2011, 09:41:38 PM
Vanna, honey, HRT isn't comparable to the natural oestrogen/testosterone that genetic females/males have. Big Pharma has dreadfully mislead us with HRT. Which don't forget isn't designed for people like us. It is designed for 40 something genetic women who want to maintain a relatively youthful appearance and a moist vagina. These women are NOT looking for breast development, their breasts developed 25-30 years ago. The same goes for Spiro, if you got your information here at Susan's about Spiro then you could well be forgiven for thinking that Spiro is an anti-androgen with blood pressure lowering as a secondary function. The terrible truth is that Spiro is first-and-foremost a drug used to lower blood pressure, and claims that it lowers significantly androgens circulating in the male body is anecdotal at best. I don't want my fellow transsexuals/transgender to get their hopes up that hrt is a wonder drug that will give you normal size breasts for your chest size if only you will hang in there long enough. Do I need to say it again? Hrt isn't designed for us. It is designed for middle-aged genetic women. You are taking something that isn't designed for a male body. Something that will never give you anything beyond poached eggs sized breasts and will damage your liver long-term. How sensible is that?
Sorry, but you're talking absolute non-sense. Oestrogen used for HRT is sourced in several different ways, but none of it is 'designed' for any specific usage. Certainly the primary market is post-menopausal women, but the idea that they've created a specific type of oestrogen to achieve certain effects and not others is just ridiculous, it simply doesn't work that way. The reason many MTF's do not advance fully through the Tanner stages of breast development is down primarily to the age at which they start. MTF's starting pre-puberty will almost certainly advance fully through the Tanner stages and develop normal female breasts. The lack of breast size appropriate to chest size is because of testosterone damage leading to an increased chest size, so the same sized breasts on a MTF will often look smaller than they do on a cisfemale.
Regardless of age and chest size though, it's entirely possible you will develop great breasts given time, and if not then there's always breast implants. :)
(I'm not sure about spiro as it's not used in the UK, we use Zoladex which stops your body from producing testosterone entirely.)
Jenn you have the neck of a beautiful ballerina :D
the 'mones make me more comfortable with myself even though i have to hide most of the changes (except my face seems to be a give away) no more emotional or moody than i was.
No they do not make me nuts. They do, however, make me muuuuch harder to deal with, and I find that to be perfectly okay ;)
P.S. estradiol = a potent natural estrogen responsible for feminization, and spironolactone in high doses reacts on the adrenal glands to make them produce fewer androgens. If that's what you're given them for, then that's what they will do.
Quote from: BilliTex on July 31, 2011, 08:17:45 PM
Jenn you have the neck of a beautiful ballerina
I was thinking exactly the same thing.
I can't help much since I'm going the opposite way you are...but I just wanted to pop in and say your neck looks good. And you shouldn't worry about any leftover bump you have...I'm female-bodied and have always had a bit of an Adam's apple bump from certain angles. I know I'm not the only one either. :3
@princess of hearts
The evidence that espiro has an AA effect is not anedoctal. Doctors ( or future doctors like me ) are teached about its AA effects and how to carefully use it in patients so our MALE patients don't begin developing breasts and have erectile dysfunction.
With that said, yes, it is primarily used to control high blood pressure, but the truth is that it can be used as an AA as well. The terms effect and side-effect go towards desired and undesired effects of a medication, not necessarily towards what it was designed for. There are many medications that have effects other than what was their primary design, and they end up being used primarily for things others than what they creators thought of.
Example? Dimenhydrinate, or Dramine. Here in Brazil, it is commonly used as a medication to sleep. VERY commonly. Doctors don't prescribe it as such, but the general populace uses it for that end. It was primarily designed to stop nausea and motion sickness. So for some people the sleepiness can be seen as a side effect, but other groups see it as a desired effect.
So for US, TG girls, the AA is the effect of espiro with the possible lowering of blood pressure and the peeing being it's side effects (Unless if you somehow benefit from that due to high blood pressure!).
Quote from: BilliTex on July 31, 2011, 08:17:45 PM
Jenn you have the neck of a beautiful ballerina :D
the 'mones make me more comfortable with myself even though i have to hide most of the changes (except my face seems to be a give away) no more emotional or moody than i was.
Hehe I think that was my neck you were talking about, she was quoting me so the pic appeared under her post also... and thank you =)
I am starting to feel a little more stable since I made this post, but again I'm having thoughts of detransition. I've been depressed and crying everyday since my cat died, maybe that has something to do with my unpleasant and crazy feelings. The truth is that I love being a girl, but I just can't stand the obsessions that I have. I know my life would be worse as a guy, but at least I could free some space in my mind. I just have a lot to think about =)
Currently in can't-start-HRT-limbo and I could not imagine being crazier or more obsessive about my appearance than I am now lol :-X
Does being 10 times more of a bit** to everyone count as going crazy? i cant help it so i think it counts :D
Vanna I wouldn't worry too much about the Adam's Apple.
I can recall where I used to work, two of the more attractive women were on the other side of the lab bench one day. I noticed one of them had a quite pronounced Adam's Apple. It didn't detract from her looks at all, she was just as attractive as the other, I just had never noticed it until then.
Cindy Crawford probably felt the same about the mole on her face when she started out in modelling, but it didn't seem to affect her carreer.
Karen.
Believe it or not some cis women have visible bulge there. Mainly Asian women but women no the less so Vanna dont worry so much :D And they also look super super pretty. That bulge wont clock you
Quote from: Princess of Hearts on July 30, 2011, 09:41:38 PM
Vanna, honey, HRT isn't comparable to the natural oestrogen/testosterone that genetic females/males have. Big Pharma has dreadfully mislead us with HRT. Which don't forget isn't designed for people like us. It is designed for 40 something genetic women who want to maintain a relatively youthful appearance and a moist vagina. These women are NOT looking for breast development, their breasts developed 25-30 years ago. The same goes for Spiro, if you got your information here at Susan's about Spiro then you could well be forgiven for thinking that Spiro is an anti-androgen with blood pressure lowering as a secondary function. The terrible truth is that Spiro is first-and-foremost a drug used to lower blood pressure, and claims that it lowers significantly androgens circulating in the male body is anecdotal at best. I don't want my fellow transsexuals/transgender to get their hopes up that hrt is a wonder drug that will give you normal size breasts for your chest size if only you will hang in there long enough. Do I need to say it again? Hrt isn't designed for us. It is designed for middle-aged genetic women. You are taking something that isn't designed for a male body. Something that will never give you anything beyond poached eggs sized breasts and will damage your liver long-term. How sensible is that?
I agree. I was on Spiro for 3 years but now got symptoms of dizziness and dehydration. I'm going back to the doctor for different drugs. It's frustrating!
Quote from: parasol on August 02, 2011, 04:13:23 PM
I agree. I was on Spiro for 3 years but now got symptoms of dizziness and dehydration. I'm going back to the doctor for different drugs. It's frustrating!
I think spiro is a risky drug to begin with. They really need to get androcur stateside.
Quote from: Sunnynight on August 04, 2011, 10:57:44 AM
I think spiro is a risky drug to begin with. They really need to get androcur stateside.
Yeah I get androcur or the generic version of it oversea's. My endo knows I prefer taking it over spiro and doesn't mind at all. :D
Both Androcur and Spiro have risks, just different ones.
Androcur is hard on your liver.
Spiro is hard on your kidneys.
Quote from: Maiara on August 04, 2011, 03:11:27 PM
Both Androcur and Spiro have risks, just different ones.
Androcur is hard on your liver.
Spiro is hard on your kidneys.
At high doses.
I think spiro is dangerous because it plays with your potassium levels. I know of at least one transgirl that ended up in the ER with arrythmias from spiro.
Yep.
It plays with your potassium because it changes how the livers work! Anyway, it is possible to use it and be fine, you just have to keep your bloodwork on check.
The problem with changes in potassium is that it leads to life threatning situations without warning, hence why we need a doctor to do our HRT.
And a good doctor. IMO a bad doctor is worse than having no doc at all.
Quote from: Maiara on August 04, 2011, 03:29:19 PM
Yep.
It plays with your potassium because it changes how the livers work! Anyway, it is possible to use it and be fine, you just have to keep your bloodwork on check.
The problem with changes in potassium is that it leads to life threatning situations without warning, hence why we need a doctor to do our HRT.
And a good doctor. IMO a bad doctor is worse than having no doc at all.
A good doctor should also be able to choose between spiro and androcur. In the US doctors can only give spiro because the FDA is ridiculous.
Also, androcur is a superior anti-androgen.
My hormones aren't making me crazy, but my AA is. Completely crazy. I'm sitting here right now on the verge of another crying fit because of it. :( All I can think about is how ugly I am and how I'll be alone forever. I feel like there's no hope whatsoever for my life.
Great. It's all going downhill again. I should just get off the forum now until it passes.
Quote from: Zoë Natasha on August 04, 2011, 04:41:53 PM
My hormones aren't making me crazy, but my AA is. Completely crazy. I'm sitting here right now on the verge of another crying fit because of it. :( All I can think about is how ugly I am and how I'll be alone forever. I feel like there's no hope whatsoever for my life.
Great. It's all going downhill again. I should just get off the forum now until it passes.
I hope you feel better. You're beautiful and a good person.
I think spironolactone is actually quite a safe medication; the potassium-depleting effects are only significant in people prone to low levels of potassium already, or people who have a nutritional absorption disorder, or people who take high doses of spiro. I don't even think it's "hard on the kidneys" at reasonable doses ("hard on the kidneys" is a very vague term :) ).
For me, it's been smooth sailing. I get "hormonal" once in a while, which basically means I have a fit for a few hours over something not worth having a fit over. But mostly, the hormones relax me, especially the spiro, which makes perfect sense as it does tend to lower blood pressure.
I can only post from my experience......
I have been taking both estradiol and spiro since March 1st this year. Very slowly and subtly I had an increased sense of calmness and wellbeing, so much so that I have twice stopped taking the meds believing that I didn't need them anymore (I know, I'm not the first one :o ) Both times my feelings of angst and utter inability to "live in the moment" returned in anger. The second time being the worst because I was travelling away form home for 10 days (had already stopped about 10 days prior to that), and I intentionally left them at home. That was one of the toughest trip I've been on. I don't need to say the first thing that I did when I walked in through the front door ;D
While I do find myself obsessing over my body, this is mainly due to looking for more signs of development etc. and reassuring myself in the mirror that one day I'll pass ok. So my experience doesn't have too much in common with the OP, but perhaps in a year or two?
Quote from: Sarah7 on August 05, 2011, 09:37:40 AM
Other way around, Spiro is potassium sparing. I.e. it is a problem if you have high potassium levels, not low.
Oh, LOL! Sorry. ;) I must've been really tired when I wrote that.
Still, I meant the same sentiment, just the other way around.
With a doctor's supervision, and reasonable doses, it's not a dangerous medication.
My doc said my testosterone levels are practically non existant and my e is high. Ive never felt better to be honest.
Its hard to explain exactly the whole perspective change, but I feel complete. Yeah my physical characteristics are still a way out, but emotionally I am begining to feel splendid
Hormones make me feel great! But sometimes they make me super bitchy like total ice queen bitchy. :laugh:
Quote from: Forever21Chic on August 05, 2011, 05:55:15 PM
Hormones make me feel great! But sometimes they make me super bitchy like total ice queen bitchy. :laugh:
QFT, that's what I meant for reals.
Quote from: Forever21Chic on August 05, 2011, 05:55:15 PM
Hormones make me feel great! But sometimes they make me super bitchy like total ice queen bitchy. :laugh:
I have a twin XD
Zoey, Forever...
that's just because we get in touch with our "inner bitch" - nothing wrong with that. Not so "rational male" as it goes --- but then SO WHAT?! :-)
Nice to spit some poison at times (like a Ringhals/Spitting Cobra), such an inner relieve, eh.
Axelle
Tried 1x E2 yesterday "swallowed" just to see what happens.
I'm completely off AA because of low T, and also in prep for SRS on the 20. Sept.
This morning I was hormonally challenged --- feeling I had it coming to me (crying fits).
Then took my morning E sublingual and I'm back to feeling really, really fine.
That's just me, because to say it again, I'm only on 1x E2 in prep to stop 2 weeks before SRS.
My question: What the heck will happen when I go to ZERO E???
Just the diff between swallowing and sub- , and I notice it! Negatively!
Then going to ZERO E --- I start to think about what Zoë is going through, nothing too look foreward to.
I think this may get ugly?
Axelle
Not starting hormones years ago through the grey market makes me feel crazy, and that's coming from a crazy person. Sure, it might have been dangerous... but so is walking out your front door. And getting out of bed. And not getting out of bed. To be paralyzed by danger and promises to people that didn't matter (ie: parents)... that's crazy to me, and yet I did it because I didn't want anything to go wrong. All the more crazy the more distant my respect for law gets from me :police:
Hope I can start on the bloody things inside of the month -_-
Quote from: Sarah7 on July 30, 2011, 09:04:33 AM
I know we're all supposed to go crazy and emotional and whatever, but me... I feel like I'm actually in control of my emotions for the first time since I hit puberty. I don't feel half-dead anymore.
It's the same with me! I cry a lot less. I am stable, so much stronger. I feel very very in control of my emotions and my perspective. I look in the mirror more but it's because I'm looking for changes and happy when I see them. I am more control of food and desire.
HRT is the greatest thing I've ever done. I feel "normal" now.
How, Vaerama....
at YOUR age hon (no more age less beauty, thank YOU!) and stating wanting to have started YEARS ago, eh!?
OK, we all at times just love to push the envelope (spell it impatience), no need to go dilly for having started LATE, though. OMG! :-)
It be cold in your place, OK, but going on E will make it some worse as your metabolism will soon tell you.
Though I'm sure we all wish you all the luck in moving forward,
Axelle
Quote from: Sarah7 on August 05, 2011, 09:37:40 AM
Other way around, Spiro is potassium sparing. I.e. it is a problem if you have high potassium levels, not low.
Yes it is Sarah7! Levels above 5.0 can interfere with your Heart Rhythm, and cause Arrhythmia's /Lethal Rhythms (i.e. Ventricular Tachycardia, Ventricular Fibrillation). The Antidote is a liquid medication called Kayexolate, it will cause you to have the runs, you'll poop out the excess K+(Potassium). Low levels can do the same, <3.5 is low, and for that the Doctor prescribes KCl (Potassium Chloride) tablets. So be sure to get your levels drawn regularly( every 3-4 mo. or whatever your provider sez).
Quote from: Axeleeat YOUR age hon (no more age less beauty, thank YOU!) and stating wanting to have started YEARS ago, eh!?
Absolutely. I wanted to start then, knowing I'd be only all the more irritated later for not doing so... but I caved under the warnings of everyone I talked to at the time. I didn't grow a real spine until 2+ years ago, where I then foolishly made a promise not to get what I wanted through the black market... and as I started seriously trying to get this done it spurred on so much needless drama with my parents. No matter how I tried, they wouldn't assist their daughter in doing this... my first act of my freedom was meeting with the recommended therapist I needed to get a letter for HRT... and she's also writing me a second opinion letter for SRS! ^_^
(I intend to get a councilor for far longer for my primary).
QuoteOK, we all at times just love to push the envelope (spell it impatience), no need to go dilly for having started LATE, though. OMG! :-)
Dallying is my least favorite thing to do :)
QuoteIt be cold in your place, OK, but going on E will make it some worse as your metabolism will soon tell you.
I'm about to leave for Texas, so I should be avoiding the infamous Arctic cold :)
OK hon,
Texas sounds good, and so still to me ZZ Top :-)
At least not freezing when going through your first HRT cold-flushes, few folks talk about.
Have my consent FWIWI, I mean battling for 2+ years already!
Axelle :-)
What are HRT cold flushes? O.o
Strong premarin E will give you hot flashes, just a strange feeling, all of a sudden you just get hot then in a little while it goes away. Never had any cold flashes???
Not yet, I am sweating more and a bit sluggish due to the spiro though. I have some depression spots, but they last no more than 4 hours. Before the HRT the depression durations lasted as much as 4 months.
Joelene