okay this is a kinda hard question I think and I dont even seam to know the answer myself, and I think it depends from person to person.
my question for you ladies and gentlemen are "How much do you feel you should take?"
i'm refering this as in all ignorance you get, specially if your trans you tend to get alot of *** during the days.
some are clearly discrimination but there also alot of case where you feel some situations are slightly ofensive
but not enough for you to feel you wanna react. or situation where you dont wanna look like a b*** and then you end up doing nothing.
I will give some exempels;
a persom came over to me here some days ago,she where friend of one of mine and gave me a hug but said "I can never accept you as a guy only a girl trying to be a guy" it where for me both friendly but also I stilt felt hurt so what should I feel on that point?
or situations where a person generally are pointing out alot of things you find very offensive/discriminating
but say afterward the person just "wasnt thinking." or anything like that.. would you forgive the person or not?
im sure you can get up alot more exempels,
but whats your limit on these points?
do you tend to overeact, or do you take too much?
what do you feel is best to do?
Is there really no one having an opinion on this?
Quote from: Natkat on August 04, 2011, 12:11:04 PM
Is there really no one having an opinion on this?
Not everyone has experienced what you are describing.
Very few people KNOW my medical background...so I am more or less immune to discussions that trigger the feelings you describe. Even with my involvement in a recent high-profile case in Harris County, I caught no grief in the office nor did the client (who was the source of the media attention and who actually had a decent amount of sympathy from the others in the office over the civil matter in another County).
I typically catch no flack from those around me for being out as a lesbian. And when I *HAVE* had issues at a poker table, I tend not to escalate matters, choosing instead to just make the offender a target from whom I will make money through the better display of skills...
Quote from: Ann Onymous on August 04, 2011, 12:16:26 PM
Not everyone has experienced what you are describing.
Very few people KNOW my medical background...so I am more or less immune to discussions that trigger the feelings you describe. Even with my involvement in a recent high-profile case in Harris County, I caught no grief in the office nor did the client (who was the source of the media attention and who actually had a decent amount of sympathy from the others in the office over the civil matter in another County).
I typically catch no flack from those around me for being out as a lesbian. And when I *HAVE* had issues at a poker table, I tend not to escalate matters, choosing instead to just make the offender a target from whom I will make money through the better display of skills...
no not everyone have experience the same as me but I think most people on this site have tried to feel there been to easy or to hard-going.
I had this topic up with few other trans people who been wondering when you could accept something and when you couldnt?.
if a person called you by your wrong pronouce then how much could this person get away with it without or with you being annoyed? ex.
that the think I wanna have an opinion on, sorry if its messy..
Quote from: Natkat on August 07, 2011, 01:38:20 PM
if a person called you by your wrong pronouce then how much could this person get away with it without or with you being annoyed? ex.
It depends on whether I feel like correcting them or not. I am not obligated to correct someone else's error, but of course I can point it out if I want to. This is usually with someone I don't know though. Those I consider friend or family all live far from here, and they all either don't know or don't really talk about it, at least not to me.
i had never let a bad experience get to me. I haven't had the encounter where someone told me they could never accept me as a girl but if I did, it would be their problem and something they need to figure out. I am in the mindset that I am me and I do not feel I need to prove my gender to anyone.
Not that way for some of us. Yes strong mindset helps, but that's for you. How much BS should one take? Depends, depends, depends on what it is, what you can prove and does it really matter. EEO, yes the words are there, but can you prove someone discriminated against you, have it black and white, in blood practically?
I lived with reverse discrimination for the past 15 years in what I do for a living, and where I live... has nothing to do with transition, being Transgendered, etc.
When I first came out it was to my first and only BF, he was Gay, really nice and decent, but he couldn't accept me as the Woman I saw myself as. Love your friend and move on, sounds hard but you know who you are, go from there. Some of us will achieve the acceptance we are looking, what about those that don't? I don't know, I'm not there yet.
I've had people stare, make derogatory comments, or shake their heads. I just keep doing what I'm doing. If I feel threatened by one person then I' ll make my stand. Gennee
I have to admit that I no longer give a damn. If someone came to me and said I'll always think of you as a boy trying to me a girl and would tell them that are are a moron and I never want to see them again.
It is the same as a comment I got from an ex-friend, my wife is severely disabled and has to live in a nursing home. O love and visit her and bring her home whenever I can. This creep asked how she was, I told him, and he replied, I would have given up and found someone new by now.
I was speechless. He was standing next to his wife as well. I'm sure she felt loved and secure.
But these are the jackasses we share the world with. Ignore them
Cindy
:o How much is enough you say....?
Listen to me carfully, "THE VERY FIRST TIME IT HAPPENS TO YOU" !!!!!
No one should feel they have to be something/ or some-one they were NOT meant to be...
I was discriminated against, but not because of my gender, but rather because of "socially" what I was NOT!!!
Racism for me, was a very big part of my child-hood...growing up neither afro-american nor white ['cause that seemed to be the only choices then], ig-nor-ance was unaware of other racial cultures in the world...
I never let it get to me...because I always knew that I was much better than ig-nor-ance...!
I am currently attempting to have a Novel published that I feel most TG's and non-TG's will appreciate...and I implore ALL to read the synopsis when the web-page is up and running next week...I believe ALL will find delight in this TG novel... ;D
I have aspergers syndrome so people dont really declare their ignorance openly to me.
How much to take depends a lot on the individual.
I take any ignorance my best friend at the moment (a GG) lets slip because she's accepting enough. She treats me the way she would any other girl even though she still uses male pronouns and thinks of me as "wanting to be a girl". To be fair, I haven't ever presented as female to her, and I don't want to start a needless argument over semantics.
On the other hand, I don't know how to handle her boyfriend. He doesn't discriminate against me per se, but he treats me like a man. The times we've tried to talk about it he made it clear that he thinks things like this come as a result of environment rather than one's own mind (i.e. caused by single mother households, ultra feminist views, rebellion, etc.) and can be "cured" through shaping your self image and body image.
I can see where you're coming from, as people like him mean well and aren't trying to be negative or offensive. Personally, I try to explain it, but I forgive any misconceptions if a person hasn't treated me negatively because of it, even if certain views piss me off on the inside. Perhaps I tolerate more than I should, but if a bridge is rough and has a few potholes here and there, is that a reason to burn it?
With a lot of people I just gently correct them and try to get them to understand enough to treat me with respect. If they repeatedly act like this, I stop speaking to them.