Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Female to male transsexual talk (FTM) => Topic started by: Da Monkey on August 04, 2011, 12:45:11 PM

Title: Advice from those who are post-op...
Post by: Da Monkey on August 04, 2011, 12:45:11 PM
I am going to a water park for the first time since surgery. This will also be my first time out in a big public place topless.

I am having a hard time finding swim trunks that don't make the top of me look really short and stocky. And am now wondering if my nipple grafts were done too low maybe? I guess I keep looking at good looking guys and still comparing myself to them.

How ridiculous does this look? Am I wearing them at the waist right? I am nervous because it's not going to be where I am stealth. It's in one of my hometowns where odds are I will run into someone I know (ugghhh) the thought of running into someone there while being post-op and still looking 'odd/trans' is horrifying. I can't get the scenario out of my head. Plus when I use the pool at my apartment I get a lot of stares and I just feel like I still look funny.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fa4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-ak-snc6%2F284530_2251330530647_1469783177_2591151_4999582_n.jpg&hash=2bb9b0eebf5ed40aac25c26c0ccbb0495dd35cd6)

Title: Re: Advice from those who are post-op...
Post by: KamTheMan on August 04, 2011, 12:51:35 PM
I usually wear mens speedo shorts under my board shorts so I can sag them. Even though I'm pre-op so I have to wear a sports bra or bathing suit top I prefer the effect of my shorts hanging low because it takes some of the attention away from my hips. Some male swimmers do this because they're just used to being "secure." And it'd be a good reason for why your junk wouldn't be bouncing around.
Title: Re: Advice from those who are post-op...
Post by: Da Monkey on August 04, 2011, 12:55:44 PM
That's a good idea, I worry a lot about my hips and was trying to lose some weight but due to some crappy medical reasons I have to wait a while before I can work out again. It's been almost 2 months since I've worked out and I've gained a lot since it sucks.
Title: Re: Advice from those who are post-op...
Post by: Sunnynight on August 04, 2011, 01:11:26 PM
I'm not post-op, I'm not even FtM, but I'll say that I think you look perfectly fine, nipples and all. :)
Title: Re: Advice from those who are post-op...
Post by: KamTheMan on August 04, 2011, 01:22:55 PM
That blows man. I hate to say it cause I know board shorts aren't always cheap, but maybe try a size bigger until you can start working out again. And yea it does look like you're wearing them a little high to begin with. Let me know if it works!
Title: Re: Advice from those who are post-op...
Post by: VeryGnawty on August 04, 2011, 01:41:16 PM
Quote from: Da Monkey on August 04, 2011, 12:45:11 PMI am nervous because it's not going to be where I am stealth. It's in one of my hometowns where odds are I will run into someone I know (ugghhh) the thought of running into someone there while being post-op and still looking 'odd/trans' is horrifying. I can't get the scenario out of my head. Plus when I use the pool at my apartment I get a lot of stares and I just feel like I still look funny.

Dude, the scars are completely begging the question.  If you want to get less stares, you should really wear a shirt or something.  You could also try finding some kind of swimsuit/wetsuit which covers the torso.
Title: Re: Advice from those who are post-op...
Post by: sneakersjay on August 04, 2011, 02:09:27 PM
You have chest hair.  I am so jealous.
Title: Re: Advice from those who are post-op...
Post by: Da Monkey on August 04, 2011, 07:29:14 PM
Thanks everyone for your honesty and responses.

I just didn't get a $7000 surgery just to put a shirt on hahah even if I am a fatass.

I have regular swim trunks that I will dig up but the good thing is I can wear those ones with shirts and it looks fine. I always seem to wear shorts or pants higher than usual it seems oh well.

Also I think maybe chest hair helps. It's a lot darker than in the pictures since those are crappy webcam pics with bad lighting.
Title: Re: Advice from those who are post-op...
Post by: Da Monkey on August 04, 2011, 07:43:02 PM
Is this better? Or Worse? I also tried wearing them lower.

(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fa1.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net%2Fhphotos-ak-snc6%2F223628_2252129270615_1469783177_2592046_7158765_n.jpg&hash=72c0fae80fe6bbcb50f89d4aab47eb4d089d9712)
Title: Re: Advice from those who are post-op...
Post by: JesseO on August 04, 2011, 07:44:55 PM
I think the last pic is MUCH better, imo.
Title: Re: Advice from those who are post-op...
Post by: Da Monkey on August 04, 2011, 07:48:47 PM
Okay good thanks hahah.

I just knew I wasn't crazy this time. I think I pull them up so high because I'm trying to hide most of my fat hahahah.
Title: Re: Advice from those who are post-op...
Post by: driven on August 04, 2011, 07:59:38 PM
Ok, I mean this as a compliment here, even though it would sound kinda rude in any other context. You look like any other chubby guy I'd see at a waterpark. I wouldn't even look twice unless I already knew you or got a close up of the scars. And even the scars aren't that bad because they look like your pec line from a distance. I had to click on the pic and look at it again to really notice 'em.

In this case, I think the extra weight might help you. It makes it look like your swimsuit is sitting high because it's a bit too tight, not because you have "girl hips." You might also be able to explain the scars as removing some extra skin after losing weight as a kid. Most people these days have seen shows like Biggest Loser where there's all that nasty skin leftover. Kind of a gross excuse, but I doubt anyone would question it and suspect you're trans instead.

I really wouldn't worry too much about it. All that chest hair is gonna make people think "male" the second they see you. Even if someone does think your chest looks odd, they're still gonna think you're just a dude with a weird body. Cisguys come in all sizes and shapes...and I've seen some with weirder nipples than most post-op FTMs.
Title: Re: Advice from those who are post-op...
Post by: Da Monkey on August 04, 2011, 08:03:02 PM
Thanks, if I can look like any other fat guy then it's good. There will be more guys a lot fatter at the park I am sure so I am fine with that as long as I don't look woman-shaped, which I still think I do.  :-\
Title: Re: Advice from those who are post-op...
Post by: El Capitan on August 04, 2011, 08:09:46 PM
I cannot even put into words how jealous I am of your body.

I wouldn't even question you tbh
Title: Re: Advice from those who are post-op...
Post by: KamTheMan on August 04, 2011, 08:55:24 PM
yea dude second pic looks good! i think that's it, you were just wearing them too high. I've always thought I had pretty pronounced hips, so I've always compensated by wearing everything really low, my parents hate it. But anyways, yea, lookin good bro!
Title: Re: Advice from those who are post-op...
Post by: RyGuy on August 04, 2011, 09:22:28 PM
seconded that I wouldn't question you despite the bit of hip chub. no "woman" has that much chest hair and a lot of people don't even know what top surgery is. you'll be fine.
Title: Re: Advice from those who are post-op...
Post by: Sharky on August 04, 2011, 09:44:59 PM
Youre being way too hard on yourself. Your body doesn't look womanly at all. The scars are placed well. If anyone asks about them I would say that my ribs were crooked or something. I don't think your pants are too high in the first pictures. I think they are way too low on the second. I also think a shorter length would look better. Find ones that show your knees so you look taller.

Also I don't think youre fat just stocky. When I buy pants I have to pick if i want to wear them over or under my gut. If I want to wear them at my waist I got to get a bigger size and wear a belt. If i want to wear them at my hips I go smaller. Generally they end up under my gut either way. Guess I need suspenders.
Title: Re: Advice from those who are post-op...
Post by: Elijah3291 on August 05, 2011, 01:45:30 AM
Quote from: VeryGnawty on August 04, 2011, 01:41:16 PM
Dude, the scars are completely begging the question.  If you want to get less stares, you should really wear a shirt or something.  You could also try finding some kind of swimsuit/wetsuit which covers the torso.

seriously?  why get surgery so that he can continue to cover up?

and dude, you look fine, yeah you have scars, people get curious about things they aren't used to, just ignore it. Or you can do what I do, when I notice someone staring at me, I stare back until they realize that they were being rude, it usually causes them to look down and walk away.  And you worry way too much about your hips, they look like any other guys extra weight
Title: Re: Advice from those who are post-op...
Post by: Cindy on August 05, 2011, 03:36:38 AM
From a girl point of view, you look fine, another dude with bad taste in board shorts :laugh:, sorry don't mean that rudely, just guys wear crap board shorts so you pass totally.

The big thing you need is confidence, no one seeing you is going to say; does he have a vagina or a penis? Act the guy and you are the guy.

As you know guys don't really care how they look, just do it.

Oh and Congrats, as far as I am concerned you pass
Hugs and enjoy

Cindy
Title: Re: Advice from those who are post-op...
Post by: Da Monkey on August 05, 2011, 06:37:53 AM
Hahah yeah Cindy I see what you mean. My girlfriend usually thinks my clothes are a bit on the douche-y side hahahah.

I'd feel better if I went with my sister's boyfriend because he is larger than me but oh well you're right guys don't care how they look with their shirts off usually.

Thanks everyone, I guess we will see how it goes today hahah.
Title: Re: Advice from those who are post-op...
Post by: sneakersjay on August 05, 2011, 09:18:27 AM
Dude, you may not be skinny but you sure aren't fat.  With all that hair nobody is going to question you at all; scars are well placed.  I am shorter and heavier than you, with great belly hair but NO chest hair, save a few along my now white scars.  Chest looks great, but a bit flat for my fat, if you get my drift.  Man I need to work out.  Anyway, you're a dude.  You look like a dude.  Enjoy!


Jay
Title: Re: Advice from those who are post-op...
Post by: J.T. on August 05, 2011, 10:45:46 AM
What Jay said... you look great!

Go out there and rock it.

Title: Re: Advice from those who are post-op...
Post by: Da Monkey on August 07, 2011, 06:16:49 PM
Thanks guys,

I've realized I look less short and stocky if I wear them lower, I don't know how I got in to the habit of wearing everything so high. I guess it's from having a gut hahah. I didn't even end up going to the water park because the weather network LIEDDD.

Oh well I did end up going swimming at my parents place the next day and said ->-bleeped-<- it and went topless. My mom was at the patio and seemed surprised. I said "well you didn't spend $7000 for me to put a shirt on" hahah she was like "no I spent $7000 so you would stop binding" then we laughed and I said I would tell her when I was getting out so she could look away. then my stepdad came out and jumped in and didn't say anything or seem awkward at all about it. and I noticed that he had a lot of hip and back fat too so it made me feel less self conscious about mine. When I got out I used a surf board over myself and told her I was getting out and not to look. Hahahah I was just being a smart ass but it's not like I was going topless pre op or something.

But I noticed that even though my stepdad has facial hair he has barely any body hair at all and I could tell my mom looked freaked out by mine. it was kind of funny. I am sure it's weird for her but oh well she'll get over it. I always assumed my chest and body hair was average but I guess not? my other ftm friends barely have any too.
Title: Re: Advice from those who are post-op...
Post by: Da Monkey on August 07, 2011, 06:44:58 PM
Yess, that's very true. I am very glad for that.

I've worn tank shirts at work and people have seen the scars on the side and some ask what it's from and all I say is that I got fluid drained and that's where the tubes were inserted and kept for a few days (a lie because they were taken out during the surgery). They just assume it's a lung thing.

I just worry that some people might see my hips wiiiith the scars and piece it together, but you're right not many at all are educated about it.
Title: Re: Advice from those who are post-op...
Post by: RyGuy on August 07, 2011, 08:06:09 PM
Quote from: CB on August 07, 2011, 07:57:58 PM
And even if they are, they wouldn't assume T would make you THAT masculine. I think most people assume transguys look/sound like hairy lesbians.

or lesbians without body hair lol
Title: Re: Advice from those who are post-op...
Post by: Elijah3291 on August 07, 2011, 09:28:07 PM
Quote from: CB on August 07, 2011, 07:57:58 PM
And even if they are, they wouldn't assume T would make you THAT masculine. I think most people assume transguys look/sound like hairy lesbians.

yeah, cis people are dumb, i was scrolling through tumblr with one guy, and I scrolled across a nude picture of a trans man, who had had top surgery, and was on T, and he had noticeable genital growth and his legs were spread, (it was an artistic picture) anyway, the cis guy said "well that's embarrassing"(referring to the mans small penis) to which I responded kinda pissed off "THAT is a trans man" him- "oh"