;D ;D ;D ;D
lol....i think
lol +1 for creativity
Thank you
I must have been a bad girl, I only got a tiny gift for chestmass.
Fortunately, the holiday is celebrated more than once. Isn't it?
Quote from: VeryGnawty on August 11, 2011, 11:27:19 PM
I must have been a bad girl, I only got a tiny gift for chestmass.
Fortunately, the holiday is celebrated more than once. Isn't it?
I guess that makes 2 of us :'(
Enlarged nipples that hurt at the slightest touch.
Just what I asked for!!! ;D ;D ;D
Not really. I have stopped at a B, which is about average for Transwomen. I would like a C or D. Just want cleavage. Thank the gods for VS.
Quote from: Irish Janet on August 11, 2011, 11:45:55 PM
Not really. I have stopped at a B, which is about average for Transwomen. I would like a C or D. Just want cleavage. Thank the gods for VS.
A B cup is all I really need.
B cup is all I really want too, so that I can start buying cute bras instead of everything being too big. But in 7.5 months of HRT, I only got two months of growth and that ended two months ago. I've totally stopped at half an A cup and fearing that my breasts won't start growing again. :(
A bicycle tube get chest wok out. Strrretch
Quote from: Zoë Natasha on August 11, 2011, 11:54:06 PM
B cup is all I really want too, so that I can start buying cute bras instead of everything being too big. But in 7.5 months of HRT, I only got two months of growth and that ended two months ago. I've totally stopped at half an A cup and fearing that my breasts won't start growing again. :(
Well if it makes you feel better I find girls with small breasts VERY attractive.
Quote from: xxJuliaxx on August 12, 2011, 12:01:37 AM
Well if it makes you feel better I find girls with small breasts VERY attractive.
No... I like guys and guys don't generally like non-existent breasts. I also wish I could bra shop with my girlfriends without having to sulk about all the cute stuff they find while nothing fits me. Bra shopping is incredibly dull if you have a band size of 36 (or higher) and don't have B cups.
Quote from: Zoë Natasha on August 12, 2011, 12:05:05 AM
No... I like guys and guys don't generally like non-existent breasts. I also wish I could bra shop with my girlfriends without having to sulk about all the cute stuff they find while nothing fits me. Bra shopping is incredibly dull if you have a band size of 36 (or higher) and don't have B cups.
If it helps you gals I like small breasts too. My GF is a B cup. -couldn't help but check out this thread after seeing the title xP-
38A cup juuust, after 15 month HRT.
Though when I wear my padded 38A (La Senza), in many outfits I do not feel it looks right. A bit like early BA results, too projecting - and that something "only" resembling a ~ 38B.
On an older female it looks more natural if it does not project so much, more "spread" being a more natural look. How about a "stealth" D cup? :-)
I'd like THAT,
Axelle
Oh I get it now.
A sub B, but when I wake up now there is actually something there!
Joelene
Quote from: Zoë Natasha on August 11, 2011, 11:54:06 PM
B cup is all I really want too, so that I can start buying cute bras instead of everything being too big. But in 7.5 months of HRT, I only got two months of growth and that ended two months ago. I've totally stopped at half an A cup and fearing that my breasts won't start growing again. :(
I've seen quite a few posts from girls on here that say their developments start and stop, n start n stop... so don't give up hope :)
A left that is bigger than the right at 4 months. Oh, and made them hurt a fair bit of the time. I know it is supposed to be a sign that something is happening, but I could do without the pain and sensitivity.
I agree that finding a bra that fits properly is a bit difficult. I need a 22A. No such thing by the look of it.
Karen.
Quote from: xxJuliaxx on August 11, 2011, 11:29:11 PM
I guess that makes 2 of us :'(
Maybe I just had a delayed chestmass. This morning I had itchy areolas and some pain in the breasts.
You see, this is why I don't like reality. You often have to experience the pain before the pleasure. Things often get worse before they get better. I need to track down this "God" fellow who supposedly created the universe, because I so want to give him a piece of my mind.
I haven't seen any sign of the conical shape they are supposed to have at an early stage.
Karen.
34B... and growing... after 12 months of HRT. I"m happy. :) :icon_woowoo: :icon_geekdance:
Quote from: Alainaluvsu on August 12, 2011, 01:51:21 AM
I've seen quite a few posts from girls on here that say their developments start and stop, n start n stop... so don't give up hope :)
And it CAN occur even many years post-op...it all depends on how the body reacts to the various forms of E and P.
Quote from: Ann Onymous on August 12, 2011, 09:00:36 AM
And it CAN occur even many years post-op...it all depends on how the body reacts to the various forms of E and P.
I think I need a new doc... mine refuses to do P because she read something in a journal a few years back about how it doesn't work. And she won't do an E dosage that my liver won't destroy either.
I think I'm currently graduating from a large 36A to a small 36B. They started itching and hurting again 3 weeks ago. I started massaging them daily and they're still itching and hurting. I wonder if that's really helping or if it's psychosomatic. I've been getting by with a gel bra that makes them look like B's, so I'll be excited if I don't need that crutch anymore. :)
QuoteI think I need a new doc... mine refuses to do P because she read something in a journal a few years back about how it doesn't work. And she won't do an E dosage that my liver won't destroy either.
Totally you do. Giving up after a low dose of spiro, like you had said before, is ridiculous. Like you, I seem to have a body that tends to overcome medications sometimes so I needed a little higher dose. Find someone who knows what they're doing and you'll probably start growing again.
Quote from: Zoë Natasha on August 12, 2011, 09:12:08 AM
I think I need a new doc... mine refuses to do P because she read something in a journal a few years back about how it doesn't work. And she won't do an E dosage that my liver won't destroy either.
I have never understood docs who can say it wouldn't hurt anything but it also won't work, so lets not prescribe it at all even for a short period when the patient is willing to pay for the prescription...and I stand as proof that micronized P worked for me. As far as E was concerned, I had to go synthetic in order to get results. Otherwise I have to do megadoses of bio-identical even with the metabolism having slowed down over the past decade.
But yeah, as has been noted in your other threads, you need a new MD...just because someone is a known name does not mean they will have your best interests at heart. And don't be afraid to think outside of the box when finding a new provider...in this day and age, my guess is there are A LOT MORE MD's that advertise in the gay and lesbian yellow pages (which is how I found my MD in Houston many years ago and is also where I found my GYN after moving to Austin).
Are pictures allowed? We're all family here.
This is me, as of 10 minutes ago, braless in a tank top. I'm doing a tiny bit of squeezing action to make up for the lack of the bra. I'd like one more cup size, but it doesn't look like it's gonna happen.
38b/40b.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi52.tinypic.com%2Fok511v.jpg&hash=3038e44eb0ebd69cb639440f7778d29d4e5acc54)
Edit: Uploaded a higher res pic.
Quote from: Samantharz on August 12, 2011, 09:43:08 AM
Are pictures allowed? We're all family here.
This is me, as of 10 minutes ago, braless in a tank top. I'm doing a tiny bit of squeezing action to make up for the lack of the bra. I'd like one more cup size, but it doesn't look like it's gonna happen.
38b/40b.
Nice!! ;D I hope that you do get that extra cup you want!
Going to talk to my doc on the 17th. If she's remains firm about continuing down the same path as we've been going (very likely given what I've heard from other patients) or if she tells me again that I'm simply unlucky and HRT won't work on me, then I'm finding a new doc. Because I'm just not seeing results and I know HRT WILL work on me. I'm not insensitive to E, but all physical signs of progress (the itching and hurting) stopped two months ago after being around for only two months. Most troublesome of all, the sensuous feeling that I had disappeared too. My chest is a total dead zone, feeling remarkably like it did before HRT.
So I've been on HRT since September 21 of last year, but my doc says not to count my first three months since my T shot up to 650 by December. So I've had two months of development in nearly 11 months of taking hormones. Following Samantha's lead with the pictures, this is all I have to show for it:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.theforestatnight.com%2Fsusans%2F2011-08-12%252009.22.21.jpg&hash=586a493d95e7b79d1f20522bcab44ae291ff7e03) (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.theforestatnight.com%2Fsusans%2F2011-08-12%252009.23.05.jpg&hash=b92fe5ff917fb0dc9812ecf2cba950ae5f738ce3)
No cleavage, can't even fill an A cup, could still walk outside topless because they just look like moobs. Nobody would think twice. :icon_cry:
Quote from: Zoë Natasha on August 12, 2011, 10:35:29 AM
Going to talk to my doc on the 17th. If she's remains firm about continuing down the same path as we've been going (very likely given what I've heard from other patients) or if she tells me again that I'm simply unlucky and HRT won't work on me, then I'm finding a new doc.
When I go back in two months to get my T levels checked, I'm going to start E. Talking about it with my doc, I asked about injectibles since I know he favors them and told him I wanted to do the injections myself, his reaction was close enough to "Duh!"; he actually said it was totally up to me how I chose to get my E, I think his actual words were you can choose whatever method you prefer.
I contrast that with your doc, becuase it sounds like he's giving me total self control/self-determination and it sounds like your doctor is rigidly sticking to a method that clearly isn't working for you. You know what you need to do, it sounds like its time to find a new doc.
Quote from: Sarah7 on August 12, 2011, 11:01:07 AM
That's pretty much how I look after 7 months of continuous sensitivity and itchiness. I'd be fine with a full A, less than that is kinda depressing though.
I wish mine was continuous! But it took 7 months to start, 2 months of tenderness (no itchiness though), and now 2 months of nothing.
Looking online for new docs and finding that none of the trans centers list any docs except the one I'm seeing. No endos either. Am I to assume that nobody else in the entire Denver metro area does HRT? Talking to other transwomen and two therapists, that's the notion I've got from everyone. Yesterday I talked to another transwoman about wanting to find another doctor and she just said "good luck with
that" (sarcastically). I'm starting to lose all hope. :(
My boobs still itch, even after nearly 18 months on HRT. And they're super sensitive. I'm fairly satisfied with my boob size, but one more cup would make it just perfect.
Lordy Lord, Zoë
that is MORE then what I have to show after 15 month on E --- quel est votre problème!?! What's to be your problem?
Golly you doing fine in my estimation, though we sure know: your mileage varies...
In my old job (productivity consultant) it was all about: setting expectations (up front)
I think you doing fine, OK you are much younger, but even so.
Congrats!
Axelle
Quote from: Gravity Girl on August 12, 2011, 11:04:58 AM
I'm scared to say how big my boobs seem to be determined to be after just over a year. You'll either declare witchcraft and burn me at the stake or form a lynch mob, kill me and rend me down for my miracle DNA and drink the resulting potion of boobage.
I'll just assume you Have a D cup...
Yeah, now show! Not just tell --- and so say all us, and so say all of us... for she's a jolly good fellow...
Axelle
Quote from: Gravity Girl on August 12, 2011, 11:04:58 AM
I'm scared to say how big my boobs seem to be determined to be after just over a year. You'll either declare witchcraft and burn me at the stake or form a lynch mob, kill me and rend me down for my miracle DNA and drink the resulting potion of boobage.
I had a roommate once that actually got stretch marks her boobs grew so fast. I suggested she might be the first MtF to need a breast reduction.
Now you too? :)
Quote from: Zoë Natasha on August 12, 2011, 11:07:14 AM
Looking online for new docs and finding that none of the trans centers list any docs except the one I'm seeing. No endos either.
This is precisely why I have tried suggesting in MULTIPLE threads that you need to look outside of the box and so some legwork, beginning with the G/L yellow pages. Too many people get hung up on sticking within the 'gender community' which is only destined to milk the savings accounts dry...same thing held true with therapists. My life finally got on track once I simply worked the system MY way and just found lesbian-friendly providers...
Quote from: Ann Onymous on August 12, 2011, 11:23:06 AM
This is precisely why I have tried suggesting in MULTIPLE threads that you need to look outside of the box and so some legwork, beginning with the G/L yellow pages. Too many people get hung up on sticking within the 'gender community' which is only destined to milk the savings accounts dry...same thing held true with therapists. My life finally got on track once I simply worked the system MY way and just found lesbian-friendly providers...
I chose my therapist becuase he's an FtM and I seem to relate to FtMs really well AND he takes my insurance, so I pay all of $20 to see him every two weeks. I use the doc he reccomended for my HRT and he's just a GP, I pay more for him becuase he's considered "out of network", but that was my choice. If nothing else, there's a doc in every city that has a reputation for prescribing what ever you ask him for. Figure out your own HRT and go see that guy, just make sure you get the blood tests you need. But yeah, there's no need to pay the transgender "markup".
Quote from: Gravity Girl on August 12, 2011, 11:21:39 AM
Zoe, if it makes you feel better mine were only tender for the first few months but they do seem to grow steadily...mainly because i feed them pizza...still no call of cathulu jelly tentacle boobs yet tho.
Oh, I remember those! :laugh:
Funny, because that's my approximate diet too. Pizza, Ben and Jerry's (cheesecake brownie), and Powerbars. It's pretty much all I've eaten since April. Cut my diet back to about 4000 calories a day and the weight gain stopped. Beginning to think there might be something wrong with my metabolism. :P
My breasts also have a lot of volume, like I'm pretty flat-chested, but completely filled out. No pointy nipples or tubular shape or anything...
Brought me the need for a sports bra at all times. I have roughly the same amount of growth as Zoe, but mine do point. They've been sensitive for a while now too.
Quote from: Gravity Girl on August 12, 2011, 11:40:39 AM
Zoe, Have you tried going down a band size? i was wearing 36A bras for ages and wondering why the hell they didn't give any support, then i re-meaured my bamd size and i realised i was a 34 band size...and I needed a 34C!! Also mine are pretty filled out as well and I'm starting to lose the sticky out nipple, when they're all relaxed so in terms of tanner stages i'm somewhere between stages 4 and 5...4.5 maybe. hee hee.
another thing to bear in mind is where all the weight on your boobs is. To start most of my boobage was on the side of my chest...it's only now that i'm getting weight on the top of the boob...which means i'm starting to get a cleavage. If you have sideset boobies, then your normal push up bra doesn't work that well, you'd probably want to try a balconette bra as it would give you better support.
I was measured originally as a 38, but I've been wearing a 36 since the beginning. At first, 36 felt tight at the loosest clasp, but now I wear my 36 bras comfortably at the tightest clasp. I tried on a few other bras this past Tuesday, including a new one of the first bra I bought, and got definite proof that my band size has shrunk considerably. New bras fit at their tightest setting just as comfortably as my worn one. If I shrink any more, I may actually reach a 34 band size (not bad for being 5'11").
The weight of my breasts has historically been on the outside, but it's showing signs of moving inward. Just the other night I was lying on my friend's couch and noticed that, when I was on my side, one boob got pushed up and the other was hanging downward and I had cleavage! I got so excited I had to show my friend. She rolled her eyes at me, I think. :laugh: But I noticed there was significant growth toward the top that I didn't have before.
Hard to say what my tanner stage might be, because not once in my development have I had pointy nipples. Though my breasts are small, they've looked like stage 3 all along. And I somehow wound up with damn big areolae (about 1.5" to 2" depending on temperature).
(Oops... I meant stage 3, not stage 5 like I previously said) :laugh:
It's been 5 months and I haven't really noticed much growth. Just my butt got bigger. Wish some of this belly fat would move to my hips too. I mean it kind of has, but.. well, I'm posting pics. I'm about a 40 A, I think, But my belly seems to overshadow the growth. But I just bought a new bicycle so maybe that will help. I'll post those pics later though.
Quote from: Keaira on August 12, 2011, 12:10:52 PM
It's been 5 months and I haven't really noticed much growth. Just my butt got bigger. Wish some of this belly fat would move to my hips too. I mean it kind of has, but.. well, I'm posting pics. I'm about a 40 A, I think, But my belly seems to overshadow the growth. But I just bought a new bicycle so maybe that will help. I'll post those pics later though.
Well its only been 5 months. Give it time.
Quote from: Irish Janet on August 11, 2011, 11:45:55 PM
Not really. I have stopped at a B, which is about average for Transwomen. I would like a C or D. Just want cleavage. Thank the gods for VS.
B is about average for ciswomen also. 44% of women have B cups.
40B at 8 months HRT. Still pointy with the "center mass" with tanner projection so I am hoping to get some more but am happy with what I got so far. I wasn't expecting much to start with so this is nice. Another trans friend who started at the same time has gotten to C cup with about the same build as me.
One funny note, yesterday I went jogging and chose a black shirt to hide shadows. Well towards the end of my run the storms rolled in and ended up being a wet tshirt trans dash for the house race..... lol
You can't compare your self to a friend with the same build. Genetics dictate.
Quote from: chloe23 on August 12, 2011, 05:04:47 PM
You can't compare your self to a friend with the same build. Genetics dictate.
Exactly!!!!
Quote from: Zoë Natasha on August 12, 2011, 12:05:05 AM
No... I like guys and guys don't generally like non-existent breasts. I also wish I could bra shop with my girlfriends without having to sulk about all the cute stuff they find while nothing fits me. Bra shopping is incredibly dull if you have a band size of 36 (or higher) and don't have B cups.
so true, i want Cute!!! >:(
Mine are growing a lot while I've been LOSING weight. (50 lbs in the last year) Currently 5'11" 225. 5ish Months Spiro 4ish Months E.
I was worried about cones but they feel like what I imagined normal breasts to feel like. I am still somewhat broad (wear 38b bra..but should wear 40b until I lose more weight) and have a lot to lose on my stomach so they feel kind of far apart without a bra. With bra they come together and feel right.
Most of the growth has been around the nipple but I'm starting to fill out underneath. At this point I kind of don't care anymore. My body feels very right.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimg850.imageshack.us%2Fimg850%2F533%2F73077166.jpg&hash=87fc013b04fbbffc5cad933e9ab75987b0786131) (http://imageshack.us/photo/my-images/850/73077166.jpg/)
Haha! I was told I am getting all nipply tonight. Aaah, the joys of being shunned for what amounts to progress. I didn't think you were taking E, japple. Cool.
Sorry about being short on reply lately, been surfing only with my fancy phone. Phone is the new computer. ;)
I have only been on HRT for 2.5 months, and I have some breast growth. I haven't checked my measurements yet, but they are clearly visible through my shirt already. It's mostly just the glandular tissue, but there is some fat forming behind it now as well.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1188.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fz407%2Fteeganjane%2FPicture25-1.jpg&hash=544bcf1cab3445bee43ce24bdfddf6d6a70953c3)
Is this normal for 2.5 months?
I guess I have to drop preconceptions of what is normal with HRT, 'cuz everyone is different. ;)
Quote from: Lily on August 11, 2011, 11:38:21 PM
Enlarged nipples that hurt at the slightest touch.
Just what I asked for!!! ;D ;D ;D
Hey, that's what I got, too!
top-down shot, it's what I see when I look down ;D
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi55.tinypic.com%2F29cqc91.jpg&hash=f5a8c14cac35cec2277bb00bb5eb77206003ba86)
I got a 34A. They would look freaking amazing on me if my shoulders were a wee bit smaller.
Quote from: EmmaM on August 13, 2011, 02:00:34 AM
Haha! I was told I am getting all nipply tonight. Aaah, the joys of being shunned for what amounts to progress. I didn't think you were taking E, japple. Cool.
I think we started right around the same time...
Quote from: japple on August 14, 2011, 03:17:50 AM
I think we started right around the same time...
We did, but I seem to remember Spiro having a very desirable effect upon you, and mentioning that you probably wouldn't use E. I have been all crazy for a few weeks now (from stuff other than hormones and gender)
34/B-36/A or B depending on the bra and counting! Your breasts aren't going to be finished growing for 3-5 years so be patient! Rome wasn't build in a day and neither will your chest.
Quote from: Kaelleria on August 14, 2011, 12:42:51 PM
Rome wasn't build in a day and neither will your chest.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.virtualmedicalcentre.com%2Fuploads%2FVMC%2FPageImages%2F2897_breasts_normal_pub_450_v2.jpg&hash=08dbf65632f697e3c95282ddbe7543b6f268bdeb)
Quote from: Kaelleria on August 14, 2011, 12:42:51 PM
34/B-36/A or B depending on the bra and counting! Your breasts aren't going to be finished growing for 3-5 years so be patient! Rome wasn't build in a day and neither will your chest.
Ok I'll be patient
Also note that smaller girls generally have smaller breasts than bigger girls... Some grow really fast and others not so much.
Quote from: Kaelleria on August 14, 2011, 01:47:22 PM
Also note that smaller girls generally have smaller breasts than bigger girls... Some grow really fast and others not so much.
*ahem*
From the ice age to the dole age, there is but one concern (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zH18_dZIYOE#)
;D zoë made my day *lol*
I certainly could complain about lots of things but being 44 and after 7 months of HRT my mass in the boobie department had increased from null to 36B so I suppose fairy was here after all. I leave a bowl of milk every night at my night stand just in case, perhaps she may revisit, I really want a C so my Chestmass would be C'n.
I suppose I could get fat if I wanted bigger boobs but that seems like a hollow victory in my opinion. The way I look at it my a good "true" sizing is how big they are when you can see some sort of abdominal definition. I can see mine and I'm at a 34A, adding fat would make my boobs bigger but the rest of me would be bigger too, so it pretty much cancels out the benefit.
Quote from: Lisbeth on August 14, 2011, 01:18:46 PM
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.virtualmedicalcentre.com%2Fuploads%2FVMC%2FPageImages%2F2897_breasts_normal_pub_450_v2.jpg&hash=08dbf65632f697e3c95282ddbe7543b6f268bdeb)
...Yea that looks complicated
Quote from: xxJuliaxx on August 14, 2011, 06:11:43 PM
...Yea that looks complicated
What's amazing is looking at your mammograms and thinking, "That's all inside my boobs!"
Quote from: Lisbeth on August 14, 2011, 06:50:22 PM
What's amazing is looking at your mammograms and thinking, "That's all inside my boobs!"
wow
Quote from: Lisbeth on August 14, 2011, 06:50:22 PM
What's amazing is looking at your mammograms and thinking, "That's all inside my boobs!"
That's the other thing... after nearly 8 months, I don't have nearly enough to be able to get a mammogram. Just have to keep hoping.
A mammogram sounds TERRIFYING. OUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
ODE TO A MAMMOGRAM
For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts,
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them,
And give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And my bra I always wore.
After 30 years of astute care,
My Doctor found a lump.
She ordered up a mammogram,
To look inside that lump.
"Stand up very close" she said.
As she got my boob in line,
"And tell me when it hurts," she said.
"Ah yes! There, that's fine."
She stepped upon a peddle.
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate pressed down and down,
My boob was in a vice!
My skin was stretched and stretched,
From way up under my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's vice-like grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!
"Take a deep breath", she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting.
"There, that was good", I heard her say
As the room was slowly swaying.
"Now let's have a go at the other one".
Lord have mercy, I was praying.
It squeezed me from up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides,
I'll bet she's never had this done,
Not to her tender little hide!
If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have popped, Ker-pow!
This machine was designed by man,
Of this I have no doubt,
I'd like to stick his balls in there.
And see how they come out!
http://www.unwind.com/jokes-funnies/doctorjokes/mammogram.shtml (http://www.unwind.com/jokes-funnies/doctorjokes/mammogram.shtml)
Quote from: Zoë Natasha on August 14, 2011, 06:59:33 PM
That's the other thing... after nearly 8 months, I don't have nearly enough to be able to get a mammogram. Just have to keep hoping.
Eight months is too soon. Wait a couple more years.
Quote from: Samantharz on August 14, 2011, 09:03:50 PM
A mammogram sounds TERRIFYING. OUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
It's not nearly as bad a people say. I've had three or four of them. No big deal. A colonoscopy is
much worse.
Quote from: Lisbeth on August 15, 2011, 01:46:30 PM
Eight months is too soon. Wait a couple more years.
It's not nearly as bad a people say. I've had three or four of them. No big deal. A colonoscopy is much worse.
My gramma said it would be like putting my...I dont think I can say it on ssans.
A colonoscopy = Vaselline + 4 feet of garden + a video camera
Quote from: regan on August 15, 2011, 10:28:00 AM
ODE TO A MAMMOGRAM
For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts,
Don't ever squeeze or bruise them,
And give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And my bra I always wore.
After 30 years of astute care,
My Doctor found a lump.
She ordered up a mammogram,
To look inside that lump.
"Stand up very close" she said.
As she got my boob in line,
"And tell me when it hurts," she said.
"Ah yes! There, that's fine."
She stepped upon a peddle.
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate pressed down and down,
My boob was in a vice!
My skin was stretched and stretched,
From way up under my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within it's vice-like grip.
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!
"Take a deep breath", she said to me,
Who does she think she's kidding?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting.
"There, that was good", I heard her say
As the room was slowly swaying.
"Now let's have a go at the other one".
Lord have mercy, I was praying.
It squeezed me from up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides,
I'll bet she's never had this done,
Not to her tender little hide!
If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have popped, Ker-pow!
This machine was designed by man,
Of this I have no doubt,
I'd like to stick his balls in there.
And see how they come out!
http://www.unwind.com/jokes-funnies/doctorjokes/mammogram.shtml (http://www.unwind.com/jokes-funnies/doctorjokes/mammogram.shtml)
Well that was...uh...