Hi,
Today it was the third or fourth day I was identified as a female by a mother of a friend of mine. Over 80 and quite strongly affected by Alzheimer's, she recurrently identifies me as female, even still having some beard, and not having a long hair (growing, however). Children also were puzzled, even when wearing masculine clothing. Normal people never had identified me as a female (and I REALLY don't pass).
Did anyone ever experience something like that?
PS: I am on HRT, so I am not exactly all that masculine too.
I've kind of had that experience. I've met two mentally handicapped children whom the parents say with not approach a male. Both times, they have come up to me and hugged me. It made me wonder if these children can see or sense something that other humans cannot. But I will never forget those moments. Once is lucky. Twice though?
It didn't really happen to me with people, but happened all the time with animals. I can't even count the number of times over the years I heard "Trixie usually hates guys, but she loooooves you!" I know animals usually tell sex by scent, so it might have had to do with my soft, high voice and slight frame. My body was always very feminine, even before transition.
Hmm.... Reminds me of an old lady i met during my non military service. She was high in her 80s, senile, hated men and became quite violent when thing were not going her way. So, my male collegues got hit, scratched, yelled and spat at and generally had a miserable time with her. I was greeted with a big fat smile. Dont know if it meant anything, tough. Could as well have been the quite funny style mismatch of the ambulance service uniform and my mohawk for all i know...........
Oh, i also get quite a lot attention from children lately. ;D Me in jeans, tshirt, no makeup or anything else out of the ordinary waiting at the bread counter obviuosly is very interesting for little girls, as i have learned today.
I have had many kids stare at me like there very puzzled because when in guy mode and not dressed as myself, it's like they can sense I'm not what i look like, like they can see the inner gurl but they see male appearance and it's not just 1 kid it's every kid under 10 I come in contact with, and i have had a few people being confused by my appearance when in male mode say is that a gurl or a guy, I can't explain it but as time goes on I think I'm outputting a stronger feminine vibe each day and I have yet to start hormones so I can't explain it.
Quote from: Keaira on August 22, 2011, 04:14:23 AM
I've kind of had that experience. I've met two mentally handicapped children whom the parents say with not approach a male. Both times, they have come up to me and hugged me. It made me wonder if these children can see or sense something that other humans cannot. But I will never forget those moments. Once is lucky. Twice though?
Keaira, it seems we're lucky. Children, special as they are, give me a sensation that my soul is bright. I don't know if I can explain that as well, but they sometimes stare so sincerely at me that I feel that everything is all right!
Quote from: Zoë Natasha on August 22, 2011, 12:44:19 PM
It didn't really happen to me with people, but happened all the time with animals. I can't even count the number of times over the years I heard "Trixie usually hates guys, but she loooooves you!" I know animals usually tell sex by scent, so it might have had to do with my soft, high voice and slight frame. My body was always very feminine, even before transition.
Zoë, cats mostly. That same friend of mine has a cat and usually he bites males. Do they feel it, then? I've never had a masculine scent, even when not taking HRT, and those cats were always receptive. How's it, then, even when not taking hormones? Is there any marker for that, did you research?
Quote from: versuchsanordnung on August 22, 2011, 02:50:36 PM
Hmm.... Reminds me of an old lady i met during my non military service. She was high in her 80s, senile, hated men and became quite violent when thing were not going her way. So, my male collegues got hit, scratched, yelled and spat at and generally had a miserable time with her. I was greeted with a big fat smile. Dont know if it meant anything, tough. Could as well have been the quite funny style mismatch of the ambulance service uniform and my mohawk for all i know...........
Oh, i also get quite a lot attention from children lately. ;D Me in jeans, tshirt, no makeup or anything else out of the ordinary waiting at the bread counter obviuosly is very interesting for little girls, as i have learned today.
The same :) Jeans, t-shirt, no makeup (never used, though). Precisely plain jeans, white t-shirt, but male jeans. As children aren't as sensitive as animals (scent), but much more sensitive than adults, what do they pay attention for? Beard, body ratios, voice?
Quote from: Lucy O Connell on August 22, 2011, 03:03:03 PM
I have had many kids stare at me like there very puzzled because when in guy mode and not dressed as myself, it's like they can sense I'm not what i look like, like they can see the inner gurl but they see male appearance and it's not just 1 kid it's every kid under 10 I come in contact with, and i have had a few people being confused by my appearance when in male mode say is that a gurl or a guy, I can't explain it but as time goes on I think I'm outputting a stronger feminine vibe each day and I have yet to start hormones so I can't explain it.
And you still didn't start hormones? I think that... When... You show a 'feminine aura' (your way to express yourself)? How does your body look like? Wide hips, normal ones, etc etc? I should research that :))
Quote from: soulfairer on August 23, 2011, 12:50:19 AM
And you still didn't start hormones? I think that... When... You show a 'feminine aura' (your way to express yourself)? How does your body look like? Wide hips, normal ones, etc etc? I should research that :))
i'm curently waiting to start the hormones, would be already on them if i had a choice, it's just unusual that i already give that being in a full cis male body, i wouldn't say i'm a stick but my face is soft, my hair is growing, my shoulders are pretty narrow, my fingernails and eyelashes are naturaly long, my jaw is round and ofc i've removed my sideburns and arched my eyebrows, i do live full time but it's just when i have to dress as a man i still show something that is unexplainable.
Quote from: soulfairer on August 23, 2011, 12:47:23 AM
The same :) Jeans, t-shirt, no makeup (never used, though). Precisely plain jeans, white t-shirt, but male jeans. As children aren't as sensitive as animals (scent), but much more sensitive than adults, what do they pay attention for? Beard, body ratios, voice?
i couldn't tell. Could not have been my voice, that was before placing my order. And body ratios? Tall (192 cm) and too thin for a male my age. So, nothing to write home about.......
Perhaps my "vibrations" don't match my appeareance? I like the thought....... it would show i am movimg in the right direction.
I have had similiar things happen to me when there was no chance in hell I was passing in a physical sense. I believe in the feminine aura thing and that we are women no matter how masculine our bodies look like.
It happened a lot to me when I was younger. However, I think people do pick up on it, no matter how you look. To this day guys still open the door for me etc., even though I obviously look (somewhat) masculine, heh. Also, I used to volunteer with charity organisations a lot and found children with handicaps thought of me as female. I can't tell you how many times they wanted to braid my hair. ::)
I forgot to mention the bullies.
I have no idea how they could tell but they picked up my being trans like sharks. And because I couldn't tell anyone how I felt inside, mainly because I knew nothing about transsexuality or that I wasn't the only one, Everyone thought I was gay. But there wasnt the internet back then either. So I wonder if they would have still seen me as gay if the internet was available in the 80's.
something about grocery stores, long before i started hormones, or even tried to not look so masculine, the check out ladies let out the excuse me ma'am, or i can take you here ma'am... was not offended but when i would turn and they saw the mustache i felt for them.
Quote from: Lucy O Connell on August 23, 2011, 03:38:28 AM
i'm curently waiting to start the hormones, would be already on them if i had a choice, it's just unusual that i already give that being in a full cis male body, i wouldn't say i'm a stick but my face is soft, my hair is growing, my shoulders are pretty narrow, my fingernails and eyelashes are naturaly long, my jaw is round and ofc i've removed my sideburns and arched my eyebrows, i do live full time but it's just when i have to dress as a man i still show something that is unexplainable.
So you apparently 'give' 'too much' - don't know how you are, however, then I'm just guessing. My friend thought a little, she herself being gay, and came to the conclusion that the only things different she notices are my soft face with almost no beard. Hair a little long (for a 'man'). Didn't talk about the fingernails, though my hand is becoming more feminine, but she also doesn't know I'm on hormones too.
Quote from: versuchsanordnung on August 23, 2011, 09:37:03 AM
i couldn't tell. Could not have been my voice, that was before placing my order. And body ratios? Tall (192 cm) and too thin for a male my age. So, nothing to write home about.......
Perhaps my "vibrations" don't match my appeareance? I like the thought....... it would show i am movimg in the right direction.
Thin... And about your shoulders? Do they show your bones? And the chest? I've thought about the chest (not necessarily breasts) along with the shoulders as a strong marker. Also, I appear to think less about the hip-to-waist ratio, as many genetic girls don't present high ratios. However, the hands are a big giveaway...
I also like to think about the 'vibrations'. It seems they help a lot more than we think. Even as I'm still very masculine, some males already are gentler and unconsciously give ways for me (no one actively opened a door, though, haha). And I also had a grasp with a female coworker (never had a problem with them before - very much like females complain about others, at least in my culture).
Are the 'vibrations' and 'auras' more visible than we think about?
Quote from: Keaira on August 23, 2011, 12:14:53 PM
I forgot to mention the bullies.
I have no idea how they could tell but they picked up my being trans like sharks. And because I couldn't tell anyone how I felt inside, mainly because I knew nothing about transsexuality or that I wasn't the only one, Everyone thought I was gay. But there wasnt the internet back then either. So I wonder if they would have still seen me as gay if the internet was available in the 80's.
The bullies! They seem to be pickier, even when you don't pass. I've already experienced that. But I don't know if that's because of something in the 'aura' or they simply 'think I'm gay'.
Quote from: BilliTex on August 23, 2011, 09:16:39 PM
something about grocery stores, long before i started hormones, or even tried to not look so masculine, the check out ladies let out the excuse me ma'am, or i can take you here ma'am... was not offended but when i would turn and they saw the mustache i felt for them.
So that must be something about the body ratio, as you weren't looking at them! :P (was it?)
i always was 'chesty' since i was a teen, took a lot of kidding about it but secertly loved my mini figure. when i was a kid my grandma told me i had a cute frigure too - destiny ;D
Quote from: soulfairer on August 24, 2011, 01:28:55 AM
So you apparently 'give' 'too much' - don't know how you are, however, then I'm just guessing. My friend thought a little, she herself being gay, and came to the conclusion that the only things different she notices are my soft face with almost no beard. Hair a little long (for a 'man'). Didn't talk about the fingernails, though my hand is becoming more feminine, but she also doesn't know I'm on hormones too.
well this is me when fem
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.redial.net%2FPicture0052.JPG&hash=468b84c507039928b3c45250b3895df446b94699)
and this is me in male(bit of an old pic sometime in the last year)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.redial.net%2FPicture0003.JPG&hash=a75f2923b3a0795ddef5a198f6cabc91a0519adb)
i think people have always known i was different, i was never into anything other guys were into, i guess nobody ever thought i was gay since i did date women but i could of been seen that way if i didn't, i am jealious as i wish i was on estrogen also :( lol but yeah back on subject i belive that even adults can sence the girl inside, i did get mistaked for a girl before buy a few adults, lol xx
Quote from: Keaira on August 23, 2011, 12:14:53 PM
I forgot to mention the bullies.
I have no idea how they could tell but they picked up my being trans like sharks. And because I couldn't tell anyone how I felt inside, mainly because I knew nothing about transsexuality or that I wasn't the only one, Everyone thought I was gay. But there wasnt the internet back then either. So I wonder if they would have still seen me as gay if the internet was available in the 80's.
i was bullied a lot. A LOT. I was the underdog of the underdogs, had absolutely no social or emotional support of any kind. I have probably heard every insult under the sin and then some. But no one ever called me gay or girly or anything along those lines. And no, i was not overcompensating. I was not seen as female of any kind, but definitely as non-male. I got beat up for talking funny, talking strange etc.... So, calling me gay or girly, not manly etc would have been the logic choice for any bully. But that never happened. Perhaps because it would have had the same effect on me as accusing me of having a nose? Even bullies are clever enough not to waste energy....
Quote from: BilliTex on August 24, 2011, 05:53:57 AM
i always was 'chesty' since i was a teen, took a lot of kidding about it but secertly loved my mini figure. when i was a kid my grandma told me i had a cute frigure too - destiny ;D
:D I'm fearing my chests are developing. In some places I bend my shoulders forward for the (loose, haha) t-shirt to cover them. If I stay too much on the fence, I fear having to use a binder.
I lived with my grandma! For some years. Now she's gone, but she cheered my life up a lot. Will always thank her... :)
Quote from: Lucy O Connell on August 24, 2011, 10:29:25 AM
well this is me when fem
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.redial.net%2FPicture0052.JPG&hash=468b84c507039928b3c45250b3895df446b94699)
and this is me in male(bit of an old pic sometime in the last year)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fimages.redial.net%2FPicture0003.JPG&hash=a75f2923b3a0795ddef5a198f6cabc91a0519adb)
i think people have always known i was different, i was never into anything other guys were into, i guess nobody ever thought i was gay since i did date women but i could of been seen that way if i didn't, i am jealious as i wish i was on estrogen also :( lol but yeah back on subject i belive that even adults can sence the girl inside, i did get mistaked for a girl before buy a few adults, lol xx
I think you can, by what I can see on the photos, be both quite easily. Some people think I'm gay (moreso today because my hair is growing and I constantly caress it :) ), some don't because I date women too, and nobody close to me knows I'm on HRT. I wish it could be different, but I just can't...
Quote from: soulfairer on August 26, 2011, 02:31:49 AM
I think you can, by what I can see on the photos, be both quite easily. Some people think I'm gay (moreso today because my hair is growing and I constantly caress it :) ), some don't because I date women too, and nobody close to me knows I'm on HRT. I wish it could be different, but I just can't...
well thats gonna change once i start the hormones.
even if you were gay there is nothing wrong with that, for a long time i let that rule my life and i decided to stay in the ultimate stealth(being male) which as you can guess ended up very bad, because i would of been called gay and i honestly didn';t know who i was back then, i think you will have to tell them because using a binder is bad espicaly when your breasts are devloping it could hurt you or destroy your growth or make them mis shapen, don't tell them your on hormones but tell them your trans lets them adjust to that then once they are say your starting hormones soon and lie a little saying you devloped much more quickly than most people.
ofc your other option is to move away but i don't think u want that, but i would say to tell them because u don't want them finding out later, this will ruin your relationship with them, if you don't think you can do it to there face then try writing a letter and giving that to them, i did that and it worked enough for me. xxx
and additional question, how did you get over the fact you would become sterile once u started hormones? i want them so badly but this is scareing me and i'm not sure it should be....i guess like anyone else in this world we all want kids.
Quote from: Lucy O Connell on August 26, 2011, 03:57:03 AM
and additional question, how did you get over the fact you would become sterile once u started hormones?
I got over it by banking sperm before starting HRT. Costs something like $240 a year to keep them frozen, though the initial cost of banking was more like $600-700.
Quote from: Lucy O Connell on August 26, 2011, 03:57:03 AM
well thats gonna change once i start the hormones.
even if you were gay there is nothing wrong with that, for a long time i let that rule my life and i decided to stay in the ultimate stealth(being male) which as you can guess ended up very bad, because i would of been called gay and i honestly didn';t know who i was back then, i think you will have to tell them because using a binder is bad espicaly when your breasts are devloping it could hurt you or destroy your growth or make them mis shapen, don't tell them your on hormones but tell them your trans lets them adjust to that then once they are say your starting hormones soon and lie a little saying you devloped much more quickly than most people.
ofc your other option is to move away but i don't think u want that, but i would say to tell them because u don't want them finding out later, this will ruin your relationship with them, if you don't think you can do it to there face then try writing a letter and giving that to them, i did that and it worked enough for me. xxx
and additional question, how did you get over the fact you would become sterile once u started hormones? i want them so badly but this is scareing me and i'm not sure it should be....i guess like anyone else in this world we all want kids.
Not exactly once I start them, but I weighed everything before starting HRT... I never really wanted them sooo badly. But I'm starting, yet. I simply don't know everything, unfortunately, but I'll try to decide for the best. This year is the one :)
So far I've been on the stealth side, but two months more (I think) and something has to be decided (or postponed, whatever). It's just that I'm ageing and, for that, if I stay in the middle it's okay, but I have yet to push the boundaries to really decide. It seems I work that way, because I've thought about it many times since childhood... Now it's time to get off the fence (or stay in the forest forever)! :)