I'm going back to school in two weeks, and I'm not out at all, either to my parents or the school, both think that I'm lesbian. I can cope with being called 'Zoe', I can cope with having to live and get changed with the girls, but having to wear the girls uniform... that kills me. Last night when I was thinking about having to wear the uniform I ended up setting fire to a school skirt, only to realise that I was getting black smoke in my face and that it was my old skirt that no longer fits. I'm terrified of when I actually have to put that thing back on. There's no chance of getting to wear trousers without coming out, I've been trying to convince the school to let me for the past 4 years since I've been there, and it's always been refused. My school uniform, if you can make it out in the poor quality photo, is this (I only wear navy tights with it now to hide my unshaven legs):
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1200.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fbb327%2FAdamLukeH%2FDSCF5030.jpg&hash=33bbd673c7533ef1226c11d3424e287c06f564e0)
When I'm at work I have to wear female clothes (trousers) which caused me a lot of issues for a long time, but since wearing boxers underneath I've been able to cope a lot better. I won't be able to wear boxers under the skirt because of the tights/getting changed for games lessons. I was wondering if anyone had any other ways/ideas of dealing with having to wear female clothes? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
I feel so bad for you, bro. I experienced something similar when I had to wear a uniform and skirts in highschool. Fortunately, the "girls" were also allowed to wear pants. Do you have to wear certain shoes too? Could you possibly masculinize your upper half and wear a tie or something?
i think if it kills you that much you should try to come out. or wear the boxers anyway.
We don't have to wear any specific shoe, and for the first three years there I wore boys shoes, but when I needed to buy new shoes I tried to fit in and brought pump type shoes, which I managed to wear for half a day before my feet started bleeding. I'm now wearing girls shoes just because I couldn't be bothered with the hassle of convincing my mum otherwise or what people would say at school, with the skirt it's pretty obvious that they're guys shoes. Theres no chance of being able to wear a tie either, we're not even allowed to wear proper shirts, only blouses.
I can't imagine boxers and tights are going to go well together somehow...
Coming out could be hard seeing as I have just two weeks and my headmaster is homophobic.
what kind of school do you go to?
and i know it may be hard to come out but if it hurts you that much maybe you should come out to your parents and see what happens from there.
and tights and boxers dont go well together but if it helps you cope try it
Quote from: Dylan :) on August 22, 2011, 12:18:00 PM
what kind of school do you go to? I go to a mildly religious school in England, with seemingly no leeway to let girls wear skirts. The headmasters new and came from a much stricter and religious school.
and i know it may be hard to come out but if it hurts you that much maybe you should come out to your parents and see what happens from there. If I can face doing it in the next two weeks I will, but I don't know if that would leave me enough time to talk to the school or even get the time to do it inbetween work.
and tights and boxers dont go well together but if it helps you cope try it I might try, but I really can't see it working without hellish amounts of the boxer legs riding up/going lumpy ect.
Quote from: Logan Bann on August 22, 2011, 12:35:32 PM
ooh, that sucks, man. I used to wear a pair of baseball sliding shorts (yeah I know) underneath when I had to wear something I didn't like. They had a big cup pocket that made me feel like I was packing. Made me feel badass. They were tight, so they didn't bunch or anything. I dunno if this helps you, though. If it's any consolation, in that picture my first impression was of a guy in a kilt and a funny blouse.
pretend its a klit! haha
and what about boxer briefs?
Well, kiddo, you are pretty much stuck. I honestly believe that you are going to have to deal with this on your own. Take all advice from anyone here with a grain of salt. You are wearing those shoes, not us. You are also a minor. I think that if you have a good relationship with your parents, they do deserve an honest conversation with you. But that is MY opinion, not advice. I truly wish that I had told my parents from the very moment I knew my dark little secret. My life as a child would have been hellish. But, I'm sure I would not have wasted so much of my life pursuing those destructive paths once I left the nest.
Cindi
Maybe I'll think about getting a sporran to go with the whole kilt thing :p
Nah, I guess I've just got to suck it up for 9 months, or come out to my parents. I have absolutly no idea how that will turn out, I've had almost no relationship with them for as long as I can remember, yet they can still rule my life. I know it's my call to make, I was just wondering if anyone else had coping techniques for when they had to wear the wrong clothes/deliberatly not pass.
PS that photo is 5 years old but its the only one I have with me in uniform
Quote from: AdamLukeH on August 22, 2011, 10:52:37 AM
I'm going back to school in two weeks, and I'm not out at all, either to my parents or the school, both think that I'm lesbian. I can cope with being called 'Zoe', I can cope with having to live and get changed with the girls, but having to wear the girls uniform... that kills me. Last night when I was thinking about having to wear the uniform I ended up setting fire to a school skirt, only to realise that I was getting black smoke in my face and that it was my old skirt that no longer fits. I'm terrified of when I actually have to put that thing back on. There's no chance of getting to wear trousers without coming out, I've been trying to convince the school to let me for the past 4 years since I've been there, and it's always been refused. My school uniform, if you can make it out in the poor quality photo, is this (I only wear navy tights with it now to hide my unshaven legs):
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1200.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fbb327%2FAdamLukeH%2FDSCF5030.jpg&hash=33bbd673c7533ef1226c11d3424e287c06f564e0)
When I'm at work I have to wear female clothes (trousers) which caused me a lot of issues for a long time, but since wearing boxers underneath I've been able to cope a lot better. I won't be able to wear boxers under the skirt because of the tights/getting changed for games lessons. I was wondering if anyone had any other ways/ideas of dealing with having to wear female clothes? Any help would be greatly appreciated.
well if it helps you look like a boy in a skirt ::) :) but i know how you feel being at school myself and going to a school with uniforms i can't let my hair grow or do anything feminine which well sucks :) but hey don't they let you where pants in winter ? and hmmm yea that's harsh i know how much it sucks :) my heart out there for you :-* :) tho i am also in a weird place wearing a bra which shows ! haha thank goodNess for vests :) just try cope school doesn't last for ever :)
Quote from: LilKittyCatZoey on August 22, 2011, 04:23:36 PM
well if it helps you look like a boy in a skirt ::) :) but i know how you feel being at school myself and going to a school with uniforms i can't let my hair grow or do anything feminine which well sucks :) but hey don't they let you where pants in winter ? and hmmm yea that's harsh i know how much it sucks :) my heart out there for you :-* :) tho i am also in a weird place wearing a bra which shows ! haha thank goodNess for vests :) just try cope school doesn't last for ever :)
Yeh school sucks, especially for us. I'm glad you're managing to wear a bra, I know every little thing seems to help me.
Nope, the only time we're allowed in anything other than a skirt is for games lessons if you choose to wear tracksuit bottoms other than this:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1200.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fbb327%2FAdamLukeH%2F009kHockeyvNewEcclesHall047.jpg&hash=213dabc4ad0beb5ff369b28cb110c8f9ac44cc2e)
No prizes for guessing what I always tried to wear :P
Quote from: AdamLukeH on August 22, 2011, 04:37:42 PM
Yeh school sucks, especially for us. I'm glad you're managing to wear a bra, I know every little thing seems to help me.
Nope, the only time we're allowed in anything other than a skirt is for games lessons if you choose to wear tracksuit bottoms other than this:
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1200.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fbb327%2FAdamLukeH%2F009kHockeyvNewEcclesHall047.jpg&hash=213dabc4ad0beb5ff369b28cb110c8f9ac44cc2e)
No prizes for guessing what I always tried to wear :P
hmmm well i suggest try not think about it :) i mean like with my school boys hair i have the longest hair of any guy i am so close to being punished so i cut it and try not think about it . hmmm you look pretty far in hs so you will be out soon enough :) trust me its easier you follow the rules then have more put on you like they did to me for wearing earnings.. they took away my ability to wear any jewelry but hey schools the worst part of growing up :) best not to dwell ;)
I remember ROTC when I was a Freshman. They refused to let me wear the guys uniform. I hope everything works out for you.
Oh my god, that would piss me off to no end. and I'm a fighter. I can be a push over. but when something pisses me off, i have no restraints.
So my advice to you might be too drastic for you, but here's what I would do. I would refuse to wear a skirt. Even they don't give you uniform pants, then I would wear any pants you want. And when they kick you out of school for not wearing a skirt.... ->-bleeped-<- them... You can do to another school that will let you wear pants.
Idk what your parents' views are, but maybe you could plead your case to them. Tell them that you can't stand wearing a skirt and you will get yourself kicked out of school if you have to wear one.
You get one chance to get a good education. People will try to tell you that you can pick it up again at anytime, or one school is as good as another, but they would be wrong. And no matter how much it sucks (and I'm sure it does, I went to private school too) in the long run it's so much worth it. There are a lot of things in life that really suck, really, really suck. But a lot of them are worth the suck for the reward. Hell I had the best first year in college basically because I had already read 90% of that stuff once already. So the second reading was fast and easy, and the paper/test/whatever was far superior because of it. And having an easy - as opposed to very hard (at the end of the first semester we had 20% fewer students, 35% drop-out by the end of the year, but after that, few) - start let me really involve myself in all the other things that comprised college and made the next 3 years awesome.
So if there is no way out of it, just tell yourself your paying the price now so you can be 'boss' and not 'boy' for the rest of your life. You'll find (hopefully only by watching it happen to others) that being bossed around when your 35 (and beyond) by someone who is 22 sucks much, much worse than any school uni.
Quote from: tekla on August 24, 2011, 01:52:36 AM
You get one chance to get a good education. People will try to tell you that you can pick it up again at anytime, or one school is as good as another, but they would be wrong. And no matter how much it sucks (and I'm sure it does, I went to private school too) in the long run it's so much worth it. There are a lot of things in life that really suck, really, really suck. But a lot of them are worth the suck for the reward. Hell I had the best first year in college basically because I had already read 90% of that stuff once already. So the second reading was fast and easy, and the paper/test/whatever was far superior because of it. And having an easy - as opposed to very hard (at the end of the first semester we had 20% fewer students, 35% drop-out by the end of the year, but after that, few) - start let me really involve myself in all the other things that comprised college and made the next 3 years awesome.
So if there is no way out of it, just tell yourself your paying the price now so you can be 'boss' and not 'boy' for the rest of your life. You'll find (hopefully only by watching it happen to others) that being bossed around when your 35 (and beyond) by someone who is 22 sucks much, much worse than any school uni.
I would have to completely disagree with you.
I'm not saying one school is as good as another, clearly some schools are better than others. However, just because it's a private school doesn't mean it's the best. It doesn't even mean that it is necessarily better than a public school. We know nothing about this school, except that it's religious to the extreme and has strict views on the separate roles of males and females.
That right there, gives me enough reason to not assume it's one of the best schools out there.
If I was in the OP's position, I would probably feel so down about having to wear a skirt, that I would kill someone else or myself. And then what a great education I'd be getting then.
No, I think the best option for the OP is to find another school to go to so that he doesn't have to be stressed and upset the whole time at school and when thinking of school. That is no healthy learning environment.
And another thing, I do believe in second chances at education. Of course I don't want the OP to have to drop out of school completely. But, I was raised in such a religious environment that everything we were taught in school was centered around the religion. Anything that didn't relate to religion wasn't important. I left home at 18 and started attending a public high school. I had tested in 7th grade level, but I started in 9th grade at age 18. I'm now 20 and going to be a senior in the fall. I'm also attending college and high school at the same time.
I do believe that if you try hard enough, you can get right back on the wagon of your education.
But again, I'm not saying the OP should drop out of school. just attend a different school.