I went to WorldCon this weekend, and I had two experiences that were touching, uplifting, and made me feel validated. I wanted to share them with you, and I'd love to hear any similar stories you might have. We all get pounded down, day after day, by people who do not recognize us for who we are. It's refreshing when, out of the blue, someone takes the time to grant us the respect and validation we crave.
I'll preface this by saying I spent the entire con cosplaying Simon Tam from Firefly (so basically dapper Old West men's clothing with a few sci-fi and Asian touches). I was binding and had my hair in a men's style, but I'm pre-everything, so I didn't pass at all.
The first incident, I was sitting at a table and struck up a conversation with an older gentleman that rapidly became an argument (he thought Michelle Bachmann was a genius. I'm a dyed-in-the-wool liberal who can't back down. Need I say more?). I was trying to explain something calmly and rationally, but he just was not listening. Suddenly the woman sitting nearby, who'd been working on her laptop, chimed in, "Didn't you hear what he said?" and proceeded to back me up, with the right pronouns, for the rest of the discussion. It was awesome and I thanked her afterward. She shrugged, like it was nothing unusual, and explained she'd seen the male name on my conbadge.
The second time, I was at one of the vendor's booths, poring over one of those "where have you been all my life?" type books (it was about men's shoes, and I'm trying to learn how to make shoes for costumes). The shopkeeper, who was the most adorable elderly gentleman in suspenders and a bow tie, came over and said "Excuse me sir." When I looked up, he asked, concerned, "Now, did I make a mistake with 'sir?'" I smiled and shook my head. He smiled back, and said, "Oh, good. There are people dressed so many different ways here that I've been having gender trouble." He proceeded to tell me everything was 20% off. I bought the book, and he let me keep the change. As I was leaving, I overheard him talking to his equally adorable elderly wife, saying "Oh, he bought the book on shoes," and she replied "Oh, good!" or something like that. I was really happy to have supported his business. It's Amber Unicorn Books in Las Vegas, NV if anyone wants to check it out.
So, tell me your stories. What did someone do that totally made your day?
For the past five weeks, I've been going to an LGBTQ support group that meets once a week.
At one point during my fourth meeting, I made some comment about something my mother had said about therapy. Someone was confused and asked what she meant by that, so I responded with, "I'm transgender." Everyone was startled. Apparently, they had all just seen me as a cisgender gay man all along and hadn't realized that I am trans. Why this is significant: I'm pre-everything. ;D
Today (fifth meeting), after leaving the building, a man holding a gas can shouted "Excuse me sir" and ran up to me to ask me the time, and apologizing frequently for bothering me/ wasting my time (even though I wasn't bothered at all). The whole time he was talking to me, he kept saying 'Sir'. I felt awesome.
On Saturday morning I had the carpets steam cleaned, and while I was talking to the cleaner about selling the house and moving, he commented about going back to study.
He said, "at what 30,40 years of age. I admire your determination." I was rapt seeing I am 57!! The makeup and HRT must be working better than I thought. :D
Karen.
Just this past weekend, I went to a party full of people I didn't know (I'm friends with the two people I went with and had met the hostess once before). About 3/4 of the people there were early-20s college girls, which made sense considering it was a going-away party for the hostess, as she was leaving for veterinary grad school in St. Thomas this week.
Well, toward the end of the night, all these girls I didn't know called me over for a picture that was just all the girls. ;D Damn, that felt good!
Last New Year's Eve, I was stopped on Market Street in SF and asked, "Excuse me ma'am, what time is it?" This was 6 months before I started HRT.
About a month before HRT I was waiting for the bus. Unlike NYE, this was broad daylight. When the bus arrived, a man at the stop gestured broadly to me and said, "Ladies first."
Leaving a restaurant this past Sunday with 3 women (2 natal and 1 post-op transwoman) and one girl, the owner said, "Thank you, ladies."
I get called sir all the time in public --- and addressed as he most times. Infact this past week I went to get my tires balanced on the car and when they looked up the account it was under my wife's name -- he read the name and said - I assume that's your wife? I said ya , and he said so what's your name. I said Robert and he was okay.
Now, if I could only get the folks in my everyday life to be more affirming!
Wolf, I'm thrilled for ya dear !!!!!!! I think it's wonderful when we as Transgendered individuals can go out in public and be recognized for whom we wish to present to the world as . In some ways , I think we have all passed an invisible " Bar " so to speak . When the "Straight " world recognizes us for whom we are , we have gone well beyond our first hurdle . ellen
Hmmm... I must say I haven't come across a stranger that I know for sure recognized me as a transsexual and then proceeded to treat me "correctly" with right pronouns and so on. I mean, they may treat me just like anyone else, but I would have no way of knowing if it's because I pass or because I don't pass but they don't think it matters. So far, no stranger has talked to me in such a way that says they know I'm transsexual but they will still treat me normally and "correctly".
Quote from: Logan Bann on August 24, 2011, 02:59:55 PM
Move-in day for college was on Friday and when I went to the desk to get registered, the lady looked at my name and said, 'Are you ____'s sister?' I kind of muttered, 'No, I'm his brother...' and she went, 'Oh. Okay.' And a few seconds later she asked if I would like to be called <male version of birth name>.
That just made my day, she got it that fast. I told her my name is Logan, and even though god-knows-how-many students have poured in, she saw me yesterday and remembered my name is Logan. Is that awesome or what?
Yes, that is awesome! :D
Quote from: Zoë Natasha on August 24, 2011, 09:48:06 AM
Well, toward the end of the night, all these girls I didn't know called me over for a picture that was just all the girls. ;D Damn, that felt good!
Shouldn't surprise you at all hun...you be gorgeous.
I liked the fact I was talking to the woman I met tonight for a drink about all my insecurities I've had as a trans woman and I was just a woman talking about her insecurities