You'll have to forgive the 'tone flat' tenor of this posting and intro, given what I have...recently passed through.
But I will be OK.
I am a 50 year old intensely transsexual woman (my sisters who know me describe me to the effect that I am the definitive "Type 6" woman. The sordid and gory history solidly attests to this), 185 lbs, athletic build, very lithe, very strong for a girl, 165 IQ, very psychologically intense, serious natured, presently work as a federally certificated aircraft technician (current assignment, as an aircraft electrician), 23 years Air Force, etc.
I am a 'late transitioner", a function of not having a bloody clue as to who or what I was until one day in May of 2005, when everything finally became manifest and known.
And I have been both in transition and on an aggressive HRT regimen since roughly that point in time; much has changed, much has been survived.
A good friend of mine in AU described me as follows,
"You have a ferociously keen intellect, but nobody who has suffered as long as you have, at the level of GID that you have, could have possibly avoided acquiring secondary cognitive and emotional problems throughout her life."
She's absolutely correct on this and the resolution of these multiplied secondary cognitive problems, while they are indeed healing on a parallel track with my GID resolution, are what has made MY OWN transition nothing less than a living hell.
It seems apparent that in my case with the initiation of the healing process of my GID, these multiple secondary cognitive and emotional issues ALSO began to heal and precisely because all of this healing and accelerated maturational 'catch-up' is happening concurrently, my transition has proven to be very traumatic in itself.
Odd, I never expected to pass through all of this when I first began my journey towards the true. But it cannot be attributed to rank naivete.
How could I have possibly have known what I would have to pass through?
And satiate my curiosity, someone: Am I the only girl who has had to pass through a 'transitional and cognitive battlefield" like this?
I don't know. Ostensibly, this appears so.
I have had multiple surgeries since the onset in 2005: bilateral orchiectomy, radical penectomy, tracheal shave, minor facial plastic surgery.
Do not mistake the tone of what I have said here as being representative of who I really am; that's actually not the case and in reality, I seem to be loved and fairly popular.
I currently reside in Michigan, but this will change in the future.
Welcome Rhonda. Please take the time to familiarize yourself with the policies and rules here at Susan's.
Your introduction is appreciated. But it seems you are very hard on yourself. To think you are the only one who has suffered greatly means you haven't known many of us. We all carry a lot of pain but we get along well enough.
There's a quote from Eckhart Tolle I'd like to share with you:
"All the misery on the planet arises due to a personalized sense of "me" or "us." That covers up the essence of who you are. When you are unaware of that inner essence, in the end you always create misery. It's as simple as that. When you don't know who you are, you create a mind-made self as a substitute for your beautiful divine being and cling to that fearful and needy self.
Protecting and enhancing that false sense of self then becomes your primary motivating force."
From your post it seems you are intelligent enough to understand what he is saying.
Julie
Welcome,friend! I can identify with a lot that you say, and much of your experiences. Am still trying to clear all the overlay away, or at least peek at what's underneath. Not so easy. Many here will understand your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. I look forward to reading your thoughts and input here.
Hi Rhonda. Welcome to Susans. We know each other pretty well already. :)
Melissa
BIG smile, here!!!!
Hey you!!! It's good to see you again, hon.
I can't seem to cease from smiling--YOU are HERE!!!
THAT is just too cool!
Love ya girl,
Rhonda
Thanks Rhonda. I'm a moderator here too. :)
Melissa
(very solemnly)
It has been quite a run, girl.
Hi Rohynda, Nice to meet you , just wanted to say my hellos and welcome,
We all have a story to tell and experiences to share with the others. I hope you get the awnsers youe looking for. May be you allready have them and want to share.
Any way
Welcome to susans place.
Hi Rhonda,
I'm from Michigan too just short drive from Detroit.
Please read the site rules if you haven't at:
https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html (https://www.susans.org/forums/index.php/topic,2.0.html) if you haven't already.
Then check out the Wiki, with ton of info on the gender topics. Oh and check out our chat and links section too. Have a great read.
Welcome to Susan's.
Jillieann
It would be a blessing indeed to meet with you sometime, Jillieann.
In fact, I work at Selfridge.