Sooo... I have a stuffed bunny (https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi246.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fgg89%2Floriklorik%2Fphoto.jpg&hash=68754c78948591446c449da907b2809dc247bccb)
I have had stuffed animals for my entire life, but I have never been able to actually sleep touching them. It is the same thing when sleeping next to people, I simply can't have anything touching me while I'm trying to sleep (except my cover).
But, lately I have noticed I am becoming a lot more "cuddly" (in that I don't mind if things are touching me). I can even sleep hugging my bunny now (or it sitting on top of me...or whatever).
I can only assume this is because of the hormones? Maybe doing something to my skin so I can tolerate it?
Just a random shift that I noticed recently (completely out of the blue). Anyone else run into something like this? Is it the hormones? Or is something else going on? (not very likely it is something else, because, well, I have been like this for forever :P I have always loved stuffed animals around, just didn't like touching them overly much or for too long).
Previously I couldn't stand stuffed animals in the bedroom, but that has changed since I have started HRT, and the switch in my brain flipped to "Girly".
I have moved interstate and rescued a number of cute stuffed animals from my daughter's discard pile prior to moving. All I need now is a proper bed to put them on. Doesn't look right on a mattress on the floor. They deserve better. :D
Karen.
That's kinda interesting to think about. I had always taken static from my father about liking stuffed animals and stuff. Even to the point where if he'd find me sleeping with one I would get a lot of gruff from him about it (was always worried I'd end up gay). It got to the point where I would use my pillow to cuddle with instead of a stuffed animal because I just liked having something with me in bed.
Much to my SO's delight I should add. She's an even bigger cuddle bug.
omg I loooovveeee stuffed animals. Kind of always have, I just never really expressed it as much as I do now.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi56.tinypic.com%2F11lrdpw.jpg&hash=d076e11bf3a05a6127f26c372636517e8de8e197)
Here's Rover, my newest addition. I just got him Thursday. He's big and fluffy and cuddly.
Hormones can make you more sensitive to touch; but maybe you just enjoy it more because you're letting yourself open up to these feelings and desires of cuddles.
Cuddles are great, fantastic, wonderful!!!! I have a chronic cuddle deficiency. The doctor (doctor teddy bear) has recommended at least 5-10 supplemental cuddles per week.
Quote from: Samantharz on August 28, 2011, 10:00:01 AM
but maybe you just enjoy it more because you're letting yourself open up to these feelings and desires of cuddles.
Ohhh nope, I've never tried to repress "girly" feelings :P I have always done / played how I wanted and told anyone who objected to deal with it :P
That is why any changes that happen I can pretty much say are hormones... I don't really look at myself differently than I always have (I'm the same person, just now I am softer and smell better hahaha).
I've always had at least one stuffed animal in my bedroom (currently I have an echidna - he's from Australia), and grew up with tons of them, and slept holding them and everything... but then so did all my guy friends - many had collections bigger than mine. Actually, my echidna was a gift from a guy friend when I was 12. And my best friend still sleeps with his teddy bears.
I've never thought of stuffed animals as particularly girly. Don't most girls have dolls instead? Or maybe my guy friends have always just been rather feminine for blokes.
I sleep curled around a pillow sometimes now. I never used to do that. I think mainly I get colder now, so I can like things like that.
I think when you get older males tend to shy away from stuffed animals. When your a child it's ok, but a lot of time males can be insecure about being attached to something so "childish", so girls are pretty much the only ones that stick with it. And because of that it seems to be viewed as girly, and that gives even more reason for guys to shy away from them.
I've always had lots of stuffed animals on my bed. I've always liked the unusual ones, I have an octopus, a hermit crab (which doubles as a puppet), a clam, a few sting rays, a sunfish and a stuffed lego man.
i had 53 plushiz ! then my mom sad your a boy your 10 its time i throw them away :'( :'( and i still can't get them :( i miss my lil animals i end up cuddling my pillow to sleep :( boo :) haha yea hrt made me cuddle a pillow :
Quote from: Samantharz on August 28, 2011, 10:00:01 AM
omg I loooovveeee stuffed animals. Kind of always have, I just never really expressed it as much as I do now.
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi56.tinypic.com%2F11lrdpw.jpg&hash=d076e11bf3a05a6127f26c372636517e8de8e197)
Here's Rover, my newest addition. I just got him Thursday. He's big and fluffy and cuddly.
Hormones can make you more sensitive to touch; but maybe you just enjoy it more because you're letting yourself open up to these feelings and desires of cuddles.
Cuddles are great, fantastic, wonderful!!!! I have a chronic cuddle deficiency. The doctor (doctor teddy bear) has recommended at least 5-10 supplemental cuddles per week.
I haven't seen a doctor but I think I too may be suffering from chronic cuddle deficiency and could use some supplementary cuddles!
I'm 27 and have always slept with lots of stuffed animal friends. My Mum subtly asked if perhaps I was too old for them (at about 18). When I calmly and matter of factly said no she decided she'd continue to be supportive, buying me more when she'd see someone who she thought I'd like and continuing to play along with all the stories that went on. I loved my Mum so much.
i always loved to cuddle, stuffed or living, at least the stuffed stay :'(
Oh, it goes beyond stuffed animals! Since starting HRT, I've felt the need to have a connection to the beautiful side of life at all times. That means being out with friends, that means hearts and hugs, that means words of love and support. I long to cuddle and to be near people. The entire pulse of the loving universe flows through me and nothing makes me more miserable than when I feel I've lost that connection.
Before HRT, I made every excuse to disconnect. That way of living sounds so poisonous now.
Zoe you are absolutely 100% right. I smile all the time now, when I certainly didn't before. This is much better.
Karen.
Quote from: Zoë Natasha on August 28, 2011, 08:23:13 PM
Oh, it goes beyond stuffed animals! Since starting HRT, I've felt the need to have a connection to the beautiful side of life at all times. That means being out with friends, that means hearts and hugs, that means words of love and support. I long to cuddle and to be near people. The entire pulse of the loving universe flows through me and nothing makes me more miserable than when I feel I've lost that connection.
Before HRT, I made every excuse to disconnect. That way of living sounds so poisonous now.
exactly my next step ;) i am about to let go of my need to shut down completely and survive on the bare essentials [food&shelter] and the perverse sense of security and control it gave me. However, its harder than i thought.
Quote from: Zoë Natasha on August 28, 2011, 08:23:13 PM
That means being out with friends,
Oooo i also became more social. I had friends before... but didn't go out with them often. I just would rather sit alone working or playing a game than go out with people before (simply because I enjoyed it more). But, after hormones I found myself actually liking getting out of the house and going to movies or out to dinner... so I have been doing a LOT of that with friends the last couple months.
The thing is, I know this isn't stemming from "finally being able to be myself" or anything like that. I have always felt very free to be who I was (expecially at home and with friends / some family members).
So, very interesting to discover new likes / dislikes for things (like REALLY loving spicey food now, or the being able to sleep touching things haha).
Hormones are definitely an interesting trip :)
Sorry to bother you girls, but I just wanted to say your stuffed animals are so cute! ;D
I don't really like cuddling things all that much, but after reading this topic I have a cuddle-craving. :laugh:
I have this froggy that I found at a yard sale and fell in love with;
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1080.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj326%2FxGenkaku%2FStuff%2FSDC19735.jpg&hash=3a615858d44b00cfd1c8276394735c11849d5691)
So yeah, I just kind of felt the need to share that for some reason... lol
Quote from: .Alexander on August 29, 2011, 06:56:29 AM
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi1080.photobucket.com%2Falbums%2Fj326%2FxGenkaku%2FStuff%2FSDC19735.jpg&hash=3a615858d44b00cfd1c8276394735c11849d5691)
Adorable!
Quote from: Zoë Natasha on August 28, 2011, 08:23:13 PM
Oh, it goes beyond stuffed animals! Since starting HRT, I've felt the need to have a connection to the beautiful side of life at all times. That means being out with friends, that means hearts and hugs, that means words of love and support. I long to cuddle and to be near people. The entire pulse of the loving universe flows through me and nothing makes me more miserable than when I feel I've lost that connection.
Before HRT, I made every excuse to disconnect. That way of living sounds so poisonous now.
This is exactly how I have felt the past few months too. :)
Ive got a few stuffed animals I have kept from childhood.
one, "Fluffy" a little white dog that looks like a sheep
A little beanie baby sized bean dog with a santa hat
and a big classic teddy bear that used to be my brothers, but he gave it to me when I was little and had a stepmother who would yell at me. My cat has really taken to the teddy bear, he kneeds on it and bites its fur out lol
I think stuffed animals are fun and cute, but I would probably hide them if I had guy friends over
I was having trouble getting to sleep last night and felt I needed a cuddle, so got up and got the big teddybear out of the spare room. Having in bed next to me did actually feel good. He's the only male getting into my bed, but I have to say I did sleep better.
Karen, the sook.
Maybe someone should start an " Official Cuddly Companions Thread "
Quote from: caitlin_adams on August 28, 2011, 05:48:03 PM
I haven't seen a doctor but I think I too may be suffering from chronic cuddle deficiency and could use some supplementary cuddles!
gezzz.. something else I'll have to hassle the doctor about ;)
Yeah I always have my wolf and my Ryo-ohki on my bed. Ryo-ohki is more than 10 years old now though so I don't touch her alot because I don't want her to fall apart... I also have an octopus, a manatee, a sea turtle, a hammerhead shark. Now that I think about it I don't know why so many are sea creatures.
There was a bear that my mother had last year. I don't know how my mom ended up with it other than that it was just some thing she had acquired, or what happened to it since.
I was up visiting my parents for a couple weeks and that was right when I had a major breakdown. At one point, my long-buried trans feelings had bubbled up to the surface. I felt hopeless, and lost, because here was this beautiful thing I could hold. Just hold. It was so soft. It had long, thick fur and just perfectly understuffed. I was overcome by the urge to touch it.
I remember thinking that stuffed animals were the greatest thing ever created because they were so simple. I remember thinking how ridiculous it would seem to anyone else that all I wanted to do was hold that bear. But I was alone, so I picked it up and held it in my arms. It was such a beautiful, honest moment: all I wanted was to hold it, and feel how soft it was, and I was doing it. So I cried.
I wished so much that I could have had that moment of holding that bear without shame, or fear of being seen with it, or the need to justify having it. I wanted to be someone who didn't have to wait they were an adult home on vacation, at a moment when no one was in the house, to clutch a teddy bear and cry. I wanted to have had a childhood filled with them without being looked at strangely, or teased.
Thoughts of transition and all that never entered my mind; that was something I still looked on so disdainfully due to society's images that I couldn't even imagine it. Instead, all I could do was cry about that life I didn't have. The life I couldn't have.
Oddly enough, I cherished that moment. In a life that was so numb, moments like that made me feel alive. They made me feel like a real person because I had actual feelings; silly, uncontrollable, beautiful feelings.
This was far more difficult to write than I anticipated, but something about this thread made me need to say it.
I really want that bear back now.
Always had the need to hug cushions... a must when a bit 'low' or watching TV, etc.
But PLEASE, how could this 'guy' have stuffed teddies on and next to his bed?!?!
So cushions it was, until my transition and teddies they are now --- with one favoured one. The other are either too small, or too big.
The need to hug my favoured teddy helped me getting through some GID when all this 'baby stuff' was getting really bad. It has some to do with HRT, I'm sure. Must be.
Yet we DO 'grow up' 1 year + into HRT.
Leaving puberty behind and one heck of a pace...
Seeming to catch up to my 'boy-age' more often these days?
Bit sad, but life moves forward --- not back, um.
Axelle
Quote from: LifeInNeon on August 30, 2011, 12:54:48 AM
There was a bear that my mother had last year. I don't know how my mom ended up with it other than that it was just some thing she had acquired, or what happened to it since.
I was up visiting my parents for a couple weeks and that was right when I had a major breakdown. At one point, my long-buried trans feelings had bubbled up to the surface. I felt hopeless, and lost, because here was this beautiful thing I could hold. Just hold. It was so soft. It had long, thick fur and just perfectly understuffed. I was overcome by the urge to touch it.
...
I really want that bear back now.
Neon, you deserve a soft, cuddly teddy bear. We really shouldn't have to hide our feelings. Eventually we get to the point where we don't have to.
You are on your way!!!
Robyn
Aww. :) Thank you
I love to cuddle and not just with stuffed animals ;) I can't sleep unless I'm cuddling at least a pillow :-)