Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: LilKittyCatZoey on September 06, 2011, 02:51:38 PM

Title: OMG! now h8 my body so much i punched my mirror ...
Post by: LilKittyCatZoey on September 06, 2011, 02:51:38 PM
:( :( i hate this :( :( i physically can't look at myself anymore :( :( i don't know what's up but i am going crazy :( :( any advice to try hate my body less ? :( :( and i can't ask my therapist yet he is really expensive and i only see him one the 13th :( :( i know its weird but i am really in need of some advice :( :(
Title: Re: OMG! now h8 my body so much i punched my mirror ...
Post by: Stephe on September 06, 2011, 04:15:30 PM
Are you on HRT? I don't loath mine nearly as much but then again I try to not look at my body in the mirror either. Why punish yourself? I save the mirror for when I look nice :)
Title: Re: OMG! now h8 my body so much i punched my mirror ...
Post by: Adabelle on September 06, 2011, 04:24:41 PM
I certainly feel insecure about the way I look too. But I haven't felt violence toward myself like you describe. I really hope that you are able to find a way to find peace with your body - either through transition, or through acceptance, or something. But being violent towards myself I feel would really undermine my own ability to move forward and make my life (and body) better.
Title: Re: OMG! now h8 my body so much i punched my mirror ...
Post by: MarinaM on September 06, 2011, 10:33:06 PM
You must will yourself to grow in a feminine way.

I hated my body so much that... (well, I won't give you any ideas), only now am I starting to like myself, after 5 months of HRT.
Title: Re: OMG! now h8 my body so much i punched my mirror ...
Post by: Lily on September 06, 2011, 10:45:07 PM
Every time I start to think about how much I hate my body, I try to think about all the wonderful changes that have occurred so far, and all the wonderful changes that are to come.
Title: Re: OMG! now h8 my body so much i punched my mirror ...
Post by: azSam on September 07, 2011, 02:53:21 AM
Let's count the frowny smiley faces.

One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven! Eight! Nine! Ten! Eleven! Twelve! Thirteen! Fourteen! Fourteen frowny smiley faces. ah ah ah ah

Anyway, I was just trying to cheer you up. I can understand your dysphoria. A lot of us experience something similar, but the best thing to do is to understand that it's mostly out of your control and look forward to the changes that hormones will bring.
Title: Re: OMG! now h8 my body so much i punched my mirror ...
Post by: caitlin_adams on September 07, 2011, 06:44:26 AM
Quote from: Samantharz on September 07, 2011, 02:53:21 AM
Let's count the frowny smiley faces.

One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven! Eight! Nine! Ten! Eleven! Twelve! Thirteen! Fourteen! Fourteen frowny smiley faces. ah ah ah ah

Anyway, I was just trying to cheer you up. I can understand your dysphoria. A lot of us experience something similar, but the best thing to do is to understand that it's mostly out of your control and look forward to the changes that hormones will bring.

Heh heh heh, I loved The Count from Sesame Street. I also loved Count Blah from Greg The Bunny. Now that was an under-rated show.

Zoey, I'm an atheist but I think there's a lot of wisdom in the serenity prayer. I've pasted a slightly modified version below.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference between the two.

Change what you can about your appearance and recognize there may be some things you can't change so take solace in redoubling your efforts to changing the things you can.

Title: Re: OMG! now h8 my body so much i punched my mirror ...
Post by: Torn1990 on September 07, 2011, 09:23:04 AM
Quote from: LilKittyCatZoey on September 06, 2011, 02:51:38 PM
:( :( i hate this :( :( i physically can't look at myself anymore :( :( i don't know what's up but i am going crazy :( :( any advice to try hate my body less ? :( :( and i can't ask my therapist yet he is really expensive and i only see him one the 13th :( :( i know its weird but i am really in need of some advice :( :(

Are there any LGBT centers around where you live? therapy there should be much less expensive.
Title: Re: OMG! now h8 my body so much i punched my mirror ...
Post by: Stephe on September 07, 2011, 11:39:25 AM
Quote from: caitlin_adams on September 07, 2011, 06:44:26 AM
Zoey, I'm an atheist but I think there's a lot of wisdom in the serenity prayer. I've pasted a slightly modified version below.

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference between the two.

One thing I recently learned is what I call clearing my mind prayer. Basically is a form of meditation where I think about absolutely nothing. It's not easy but really helps me with any kind of stress/problems.. Maybe sit in a room with some pretty music, candles, close your eyes and clear your mind would help?
Title: Re: OMG! now h8 my body so much i punched my mirror ...
Post by: rylielove on September 07, 2011, 12:51:14 PM
i hate mine too!!! grrrrrrrrrrr

at least you didn't have gynecomastia growing up and have liposuction in your chest to remove your 'manboob' in attempt to try to "see" a boy and feel confident that way!!  big suprise ry - it didn't work - im stupid and now my boobies don't grow :(
Title: Re: OMG! now h8 my body so much i punched my mirror ...
Post by: LilKittyCatZoey on September 07, 2011, 01:37:39 PM
saw my endo today sadly still on low doses and stuff :( i am atheist but i go to a catholic school so i know how useless prayer is for me and hrt 3 months now but hey :( i can't believe just how much i hate my body :( but hey half of my hate is because i look good for a boy so i am always told your so good looking ... i h8 the fact i am always reminded i am a boy in body .. the other half is that i have huge ugly scars from trying to be 'the man' so yea thanks for the advice but sadly didn't help sorry :(