Susan's Place Transgender Resources

Community Conversation => Transsexual talk => Male to female transsexual talk (MTF) => Topic started by: mechakitty on September 08, 2011, 12:05:12 PM

Title: Kind of in a State of Mini-Panic, Bleh
Post by: mechakitty on September 08, 2011, 12:05:12 PM
So, my dad took me out to dinner last night for a chat about things, where I was going, what's going on with my transition, and his thoughts on the matter. For a background, I'm about 3.5 months on HRT, not full-time until early next year, and my dad knows about my transition already. My parents are also divorced.

Anyway, we were having a talk to discuss financial assistance from my family for therapy. I found a great therapist at a gender center in Southern California, and my appointment is on Monday. I haven't been regularly seeing a therapist, and the one I have seen doesn't really know much about trans-issues. Long story short, my dad, in his words, is keeping an open mind, and knows I'm on a highly personal journey of mine and he can see my conviction and my happiness already, but he is not yet convinced this is the right thing for me to do, but he is open to that changing. Until then, he can't, within his conscience, financially support any of my transition as of yet. I said that was fine, but my mother had already said that they would help finance things related to my therapy, and I have an appointment scheduled for Monday. He's still not "ready" to contribute.

And that's fine, I told him. I didn't want to explain that if he thinks that I might be confused or going down the wrong path, that therapy would be a way to figure that out...I especially didn't want to say that because I know I'm going down the right path, even if he doesn't believe it yet. I've been going down this path my whole life; it's only recently that I decided to run instead of crawl.

That said, I still need money for my therapy. I'm going to ask my mother again, so we'll see how that goes. Otherwise, I'll have to postpone seeing this therapist, and I know it's highly recommended to see a good therapist during these parts of my transition. I just can't afford it at the moment.

Speaking of financial woes, my insurance expires when I turn 26 in November. I'm going through my dad's insurance right now, and my work only offers insurance to full-time employees. That leaves me with the options of finding other work, trying to get full-time, or paying out of pocket for insurance, all of which must be fit around my school schedule. I also need to think about moving out from the family that I live with, because they are ultra-conservative, and they are going to notice something eventually about me. Plus, it's just not healthy for me to continually be someone I am not in the place that I live. How am I going to afford living on my own? Beats me. I have a few potential roommates willing to possibly find a place, but in any case, money is going to be ridiculously tight. And I didn't even mention my hair removal appointments! I guess those are less of a priority.

Transitioning. Is. Expensive. Well, not for everyone. Maybe just me, I guess.  :D

I dunno, I guess I just needed to vent a lit'l. Any advice is welcome, of course. Love ya guys.
Title: Re: Kind of in a State of Mini-Panic, Bleh
Post by: jamiejo on September 08, 2011, 12:25:55 PM
Rule #1 - Education must come first! 

Ask the new therapist if she has a reduced rate due to low-income?  Or if they need their car washed?

Transition is very expensive, time consuming and painful.  One year in - $65K out of pocket, insurance covers nothing for me.  That number does not cover clothing, make-up, jewelry.

This is why I work three jobs to pay for transition and I will for a long time!!!

Set up a Trans-Plan (Schedule) and Budget for each item.  Therapy, Voice Therapy, HRT, Electrolysis, FFS, BA, SRS/GRS.

Money/Debt - Blah Blah Blah - Living a happy life is what transition is about!!!

Rule #2: Refer to Rule #1!!!
Title: Re: Kind of in a State of Mini-Panic, Bleh
Post by: Jayne on September 08, 2011, 12:46:49 PM
I'm fortunate enough to live in the UK so my transition is being payed for by the NHS (or i'm just getting back a tiny bit of 20yrs of taxes!).

Even with this help the cost of transtioning is making my eyes water!!!
Hair removal & travel to London are bad enough but then I look at all the clothes I need to get & the cost goes through the roof, then I look at all the clothes I dont need but fall in love with as soon as I lay eyes on them (lets not discuss shoes, lol) & realise that I need to win the lottery.
I've investigated going private but there's no way I can see to afford that route.

The only advice I can give from this side of the big pond is to concentrate on your education whilst you have the chance, I screwed mine up & that's why the financial strain is hitting me so hard.

I admire every person who goes through this without a healthcare system or comprehensive insurance & wish you all the best
Title: Re: Kind of in a State of Mini-Panic, Bleh
Post by: Bird on September 08, 2011, 01:26:19 PM
If you work hard, you can train your voice without voice therapy. Sadly, everything else is still expensive.

I have no insurance at all and I self-med, so things are expensive for me. I'm lucky to be able to afford it.
Title: Re: Kind of in a State of Mini-Panic, Bleh
Post by: Forever21Chic on September 08, 2011, 04:44:41 PM


   Try looking into public welfare till you get on your feet, since you only work part-time you should qualify for most of their programs (cash assistance, foodstamps, energy assistance etc). There are tons of free government programs out there just waiting for people to apply, there is no shame in it that's what they're there for the thing is YOU have to apply for them. Hope that helps you some  :P 
Title: Re: Kind of in a State of Mini-Panic, Bleh
Post by: Torn1990 on September 08, 2011, 05:29:21 PM
 
It is definitely a privilege to be able to transition physically. It  can be really expensive! I appreciated your story as well I hope things work out :/ i just moved away from southern california! The LGBT Center in santa ana has really inexpensive therapy. I would check them out.  If needed, they can go as low as 5 bucks I believe. I was paying 20 though which is still quite inexpensive. most of the therapists there are trainees, but they all deal with gender issues and I really liked my therapist, my partner enjoyed his as well.
Title: Re: Kind of in a State of Mini-Panic, Bleh
Post by: gantz on September 08, 2011, 08:32:12 PM
good luck on your transition mechakitty and be as pretty as can be!!!

nice youre in socal, i think there are good doctors here
Title: Re: Kind of in a State of Mini-Panic, Bleh
Post by: mechakitty on September 17, 2011, 03:18:21 AM
Thanks for the replies everyone. I guess I just needed some nice words and encouragement.

I'm doing a lot better now. I acquired full-time at work, which means benefits, and those kick in right when my old insurance expires. So, I'm set. I get to keep transitioning. Plus, my therapist accepted a post-dated check. My parents (Mom included this time) reiterated that they can't help me on this one, which is fine. I'm fully prepared to do this on my own. I always said I'll find a way.

So, onward and upward.

Thanks again, friends.  ;)
Title: Re: Kind of in a State of Mini-Panic, Bleh
Post by: Bird on September 17, 2011, 05:37:05 PM
Congratulations !!!!! *hugs*
Title: Re: Kind of in a State of Mini-Panic, Bleh
Post by: Jennifer on September 17, 2011, 07:02:00 PM
That's awesome mechakitty! You are an inspiration to us all. :)

Jennifer
Title: Re: Kind of in a State of Mini-Panic, Bleh
Post by: SiobhanB on September 18, 2011, 08:11:53 AM
Well done mechakitty!  Always nice to see someone's situation turn around and get a little bit better! (Even if it is only a tiny bit).  It's always hard to read all the posts on here, we're all generally struggling so much, both internally and externally it can make for unhappy reading :(

I wish you all the best in your transition, we all need that.

Kind regards,

Siobhan.