I've been in love with this girl for 6 years. It's a complicated story and I don't feel like telling it. We were kinda together when we were younger and now she wants nothing to do with me but she's the ONLY person I love and I've tried to find someone else but I can't love or even have feelings for someone else. I don't feel love for anyone but her and I don't even love my family. The only family member I care about is my mom. Why can't I love anyone? What's wrong with me? What cause someone to not be able to love?
As much as I feel for you in this situation, I unfortunately cannot tell you what is 'wrong' with you, none of us can. Sadly, three years of psychology is not nearly enough to be able to diagnose anything, however, I can tell you that it could be linked to something as simple as stress or your current emotional state. Or it could be something as complicated as a mental disorder like depression or something else, or by imbalanced chemicals in the brain. If you're truly worried about this, I would start seeing a therapist.
My friend thinks I'm a psychopath because she says I'm incapable of love. I looked up the symptoms and I have most of them....:/
Quote from: Kentrie on September 09, 2011, 12:54:26 PM
My friend thinks I'm a psychopath because she says I'm incapable of love. I looked up the symptoms and I have most of them....:/
look up sociopath, thats probably a better fit, everyone in the world can fit that profile at some point in their life.
I think you're experience youth imho
I'll look up sociopath. My dad is a psychopath so I thought that maybe I inherited something from him.
Obviously, I don't know you well enough to agree with you or not,
But make sure that you're not mistaking psychopath for sociopath, those two are commonly used interchangably but are drastically different from one another. ( Renise got to it first, I see, )
People under age 18 often come out of psych evals with the label psychopath, that's why that usually don't do them until you're over.
Again, the only thing that you can really do is go see a therapist or a psychiatrist who can get you on some medication. Because if you have one of these, it won't just go away, and will only get worse.
Yeah, I looked it up and I have most of the symptoms for a sociopath and a psychopath . I don't know. I just want to know why I can't love anyone.
well, I guess some people just dont bind themself the same ways as others do,
if your able to love your mom and this girl and you also have a friend then you cant be "all out of abilety to love"
I guess your just not that good at binding yourself but that dosent mean you cant love somebody.
I kinda got a more or less simular problem,
I got alot of friends and so on but I find it very hard to "Love" someone as in a deeper meaning.
If I get deep felling for someone, a close famely member or a person I fall in love with, then I often feel like rejecting the person rather than spending more time together.
I guess its because I got kinda traumatic past with being turned down by people I loved alot, so I am kinda scared for anything simular to happent.
beside that facts love dosen't come easly, as more you think about it, as less your able to get it,
a person can't really love someone until you get to know them and if it's a sex/romantic type of love, don't confuse lust with love
Quote from: Kentrie on September 09, 2011, 12:54:26 PMMy friend thinks I'm a psychopath because she says I'm incapable of love. I looked up the symptoms and I have most of them....:/
You don't love anyone in your family at all? (besides mom)
What does your family consist of? brothers/sisters?
Do they know you are trans and are they accepting?
Maybe you just don't know that you love them. If you knew they were all going to die tomorrow, how would you feel?
Love for family feels
very different than love of a boy/girl friend.
Everyone has some of the symptoms of a sociopath sometimes. Are you sure you're not just really stressed and depressed?
Depression causes sociopath-like symptoms. It's far more common, and likely, to be depressed than sociopathic.
For the majority of my life, I was clinically depressed. I felt friendly affection for my boyfriend but that was it. I told him things like "I can't love you, but I wish I could" and so forth. It wasn't until I started resolving my gender issues and beating back the depression that I was able to feel real love for him.
Could be just a hate self so I must be unlovable thing that many of us trans people go thought.
The only a mother could love someone like me and so I shut down the emotions so I don't get hurt.
But I would see a shrink if I were you.
I don't even find anyone attractive but one person. I forgot to mention that in my post.
Just try not to obsess over it.
I know that I'm attracted to men, but I've never had a crush on anyone my entire life. I've never been on a date or anything because I've never felt attracted to anyone. I'm just planning to live my life, work through my transition, and if/when I find the right person, I'll figure thigns out then. With six billion or so people in the world, odds are, you'll meet someone else eventually to whom you'll be attracted. If this girl is the right one, then just wait. It'll happen. She may just need some time, but there's also a chance that she's not the one, and obsessing over her is going to make you blind to any other possibilities.
With any sort of mental issue, clinical or perceived, it's best to just accept it's there and move on. Obsessing over it will make the problem worse, as well as raising your overall stress level, which isn't good.
Also, don't try to self-diagnose/self-evaluate based only on a list of symptoms you found online. Using those, any person can have every mental disorder at once. If you're really worried, go to your therapist, school counselor (if you're in school), or psychologist/psychiatrist. If you don't have one, get one.
[I know I used the word 'obsess,' and various forms of that word, quite a bit. I know that's probably not quite the right word for several of the sentences, but I'm kinda tired and my vocabulary's slipping. I hope you understand what I was meaning, though. :) ]
I guess attractions is a diffrent matters,
some are into guys some to girls, some dont care, some are only into people they know as in person, and some are not attactive to people at all,
Sounds more like obsession than anything else. I remember chasing after someone for about 4 years in elementary / junior high, and thinking the world revolved around either me, or them. Any attention from them = "a thing." This focus made me a little numb to other relationships. Lust, fantasy, the inexperience of youth all play into those sort of things early in life. Just keep it together and try to think about something else, like career stuff.
I'm not saying your feelings aren't real, but they have to be approached critically. (I feel so bad telling a young person this reality stuff, they're supposed to be frivolous and slightly off the cracker!)
EmmaM: Yeah, that's how I feel but my feelings are very strong and Idk I just want to be with her. I'm deciding to switch schools because of her. I chose to go to night school instead of being around her at the school I went to and in January I'm going to switch to the day school that night school takes place in. I refuse to say that it's just obsession because I really do love her. My feeling are starting to go numb so maybe once they do I won't love her anymore. Ugh, I hate my life. I had to be stupid and feel something towards her that is completely insane and not real. I feel it is but now I'm confused. Fml.
Quote from: Kentrie on September 10, 2011, 02:06:58 PMEmmaM: Yeah, that's how I feel but my feelings are very strong and Idk I just want to be with her. I'm deciding to switch schools because of her. I chose to go to night school instead of being around her at the school I went to and in January I'm going to switch to the day school that night school takes place in. I refuse to say that it's just obsession because I really do love her. My feeling are starting to go numb so maybe once they do I won't love her anymore. Ugh, I hate my life. I had to be stupid and feel something towards her that is completely insane and not real. I feel it is but now I'm confused. Fml.
Well, just be careful that you don't do anything stupid because of your love for her.
I already have....trust me. That's why I want to get as far away as possible from her.
You said you were in love with her for 6 years.
Obviously you think youre capable of love. So don't let other people make you question yourself.
@Xander: Well, I didn't know if it was love or an obsession. I have come to the conclusion that it's an obsession.
I don't love my mom. I'm not sure if I ever did. I'd be careful about making concrete assumptions about yourself based on your relationships with any particular people.
I still love a guy I was with for a few years, and he does not love me, but my theory is that he's functioning as a placeholder. I'm not up to facing the idea that I just don't love anyone and no one loves me (other than my kid; I'll always love her and vice versa). That's scary. So I hold onto love for the wrong people sometimes.