How do you all feel about this? I get terrified to spend time in public as girl - I think having FFS will force me to be girl because im too much of a wimp to do it myself.
Sometimes I feel like still having to work as a boy makes me feel insecure about being a girl? Does that makes senses?
Yes when you transition you want to just go all the way. Jumping back and forth is hell. Oh you don't seem to need FFS anyway.
I felt exactly the same way. I talked with HR 3 months beforehand, set a date with the surgeon, confirmed it with HR, and then made the switch when I returned to work. People always told me I was passable, but my own insecurities made the FFS a necessity. If you feel you need it, then go for it. I'm sure you'll be gorgeous afterward because you seem to have a better starting point than I did.
Quote from: AmySmiles on September 09, 2011, 05:49:29 PM
I felt exactly the same way. I talked with HR 3 months beforehand, set a date with the surgeon, confirmed it with HR, and then made the switch when I returned to work. People always told me I was passable, but my own insecurities made the FFS a necessity. If you feel you need it, then go for it. I'm sure you'll be gorgeous afterward because you seem to have a better starting point than I did.
NEATO!! Same boat :) I just talked with HR this week finally - now I'm on the figuring out dates step and its super stressing me out :(
The safest bet would be to find out how much time HR needs, then schedule surgery close to or past that point and inform them of the decision. What stressed me out the most was figuring out how to tell all my (older, conservative, religious) coworkers. They ended up holding an all-hands meeting for my program while I was away. It was ... maybe not the best way to go about it, but it did work out in the end. All my coworkers voluntarily switched pronouns without me even having to ask and only slip up occasionally.
Quote from: AmySmiles on September 09, 2011, 06:00:34 PM
The safest bet would be to find out how much time HR needs, then schedule surgery close to or past that point and inform them of the decision.
HR lady basically told me all the choices are up to me, didn't really give me any structure - kinda annoyed me. I told her I would email her with a tentative plan but it really seemed like I'm on my own with telling co-workers and junk like that :( grrrr
In that case, it's probably ok to schedule for a couple months out. Or sooner, if you can get a surgery date that soon. Wish I had some good advice for you on the coworkers bit... I was a big chicken and may not have been able to do it myself if I had to.
@rylie
We hardly ever look as masculine as we think we do. I thought I would need FFS for sure and did a post here about it, I was advised (rightfully so) by the girls of the forum to wait for HRT. Starting 6 months HRT tommorow, I can't pass as a guy these days, without FFS. With this said, the best thing you will ever do is fill yourself with courage and dare to be yourself. Face people and smile.
The first few days will be hard. I remember getting anxious even to have lunch out, and anyone staring at me had me self-counscious. Then I realized that the majority of the men who looked at me, did so because they were finding me pretty. My classmates were staring at me not because I was looking like a guy in girls clothes.
It was because their old classmate was looking totally like a girl, and a well dressed one at that.
So there is a process where you must adapt, and even with FFS, chances are you will feel a bit self-conscious just because of the amount of attention that will be placed on you. The people around you will slowly adapt, so you will you, you won't feel anxious anymore, your friends will be your friends, and you will be glad you did it.
After you have faced this, you will be stronger for it, will be a woman with more strength of personality and will be better able to access what are the flaws of your face that should be corrected.
I used FFS as a tool to allow me to go full-time. Best decision I've made in my life.
I returned to working two weeks after surgery. Looked like ->-bleeped-<-, and felt like ->-bleeped-<-, but didn't stop me from working.
I guess what I want is the 'inability' to be a boy - i feel like i still easily pass as a boy and it bothers me when people give me 'sir' or any other gender specific remark insinuating me a male.
It's all a big dance of priorities and priorities are quite personal when it comes to transition. Personally, having only seen female pictures of you, I can't imagine how anyone would ever mis-gender you after you go full time. But if you feel that FFS is more important than any other surgery you can save up for, then that's between you and yourself. :)
With no money for surgeries, I simply went full time after about 2.5 months of HRT. My face was undergoing immense changes from the hormones alone, and I haven't heard a male pronoun used in my direction since day 1 of full time (except from family, who still stumble on occasion). SRS is my #1 priority. Besides, I've had four people make me promise never to let a surgeon near my face, including the girl who's done the majority of my laser and electrolysis. ;D She works for a beauty spa, so her opinion meant a lot to me!
I decided to use FFS as the starting point of going fulltime. Well I went fulltime five days prior to surgery, which included traveling to Boston. I did have all of my documentation, gender marker, etc. changed and updated, so it wasn't a big deal. I took 6 weeks off work (paid disability) and then returned to work as female....made it much easier on the rest of the employees!!!
Good luck,
Jamie