Hi guys, I'm starting college in a year, while it might not be a 4 year college, I'm still concerned.
If you live in a dorm room, do they only have public showers? I plan on starting hormones soon after high school, and while I actually wouldn't mind having a guy as a roommate, showering by a bunch of them is completely out of the question. Do they have like personal bathrooms in the dorms? Or do they have like single dorms that have personal bathrooms? Whatever would work.
It all depends on the school and the dorm. The first year I was in college, admittedly circa 1985, I was in a dorm that had private bathrooms that were shared by two rooms, with locking doors to ensure that modicum of privacy. The only reason I was in the dorm in the first place though was that it was covered by the scholarship...in retrospect, if I had that semester to do all over again, I would simply have leased an apartment close to campus.
Obv I went to university in the UK. However it was pretty much as Ann says. Depends on the place your studying at and the dorm your staying in.
I had my own tiny little en suite bathroom in the dorms I was at, friends on other dorms didn't. Second year I moved into a house off campus.
I went to a private university and we had 7 dorms. 4 were co-ed, separated by floors, even floors girls, odd floors boys - two single sex dorms and one super huge co-ed by alternating rooms one called (and I think most colleges have a similar dorm) The Zoo - not just 'a zoo' mind you, THE zoo, and we did out best to live up to it. Men's showers there, and in about 99.9% of the places I've ever been in, are communal, while women's showers have some sort of privacy deal, curtains or partitions. Also, guys tend to revert to about jr. high in communal bathrooms by the way, doing all sorts of stupid ->-bleeped-<-.
But it goes by colleges, with the larger/state schools tending to less of the luxury that Ann described, to small private ones that have dorms nicer than anyplace those people are going to live once they get out of school. Because the more showers you build, the more expensive not only the building, but the water (it's proven that people in communal showers use less water, because they get in and get out, while you can zone out in a private one) and the maintenance costs all go up.
In all of the Universities that I've attended, there are two options. You can have the less expensive dorms, where you share the showers with the "community" or you can go for the more expensive dorms and have a bathroom IN your dorm room.
However, in the community showers, there are curtains or doors and a wall dividing each individual shower. It won't be like a locker room, where all the dudes shower together and all the chicks shower together (most high schools don't have these anymore either lol).
ANOTHER thing you can do, is actually come out to the school. Most schools have LBGT communities, so there will be no hate coming to you, and if there is - they can get in some major ->-bleeped-<- for it. If you come out, and you have to use a community shower, then you may be able to shower in the area that you deem more comfortable, or other facilities may be available to you. Sometimes they can even give you a roommate in your preferred gender, or again - you can make another option and swing for a single. However, you said you didn't mind sharing with a male, so I doubt you'd opt for a single.
I think what you should do is look into it, and see if there are any dorms with a bathroom, and if there are, then you can see if the price is appropriate. If it is not, and it is out of the question, then I would suggest talking to your school about it and getting in touch with the LBGT community at the school to see what they suggest. There may also be some sort of co-ed bathroom as well. There are some campuses that have those.
I mean, if you pass pretty well, I would just sort of keep it hidden - and maybe let my school know. Merely wear a robe into and out of the shower(which you would do anyway lol) and bring everything you need in order to pass while under the robe as well.
I moved off campus last year(thank god), but I was in a single dorm, with a bathroom to myself. I was on the girls floor though. It was awkward, but most (except my RAs) assumed that I was just going to see my girlfriend or something.
I wish you luck <3
When I was in college, I spent my first couple years in a dorm that had communal showers. It sucked! *shudder*
I knew some other people who were living in "apartment-style" housing on campus and I always envied them for it.
As soon as I could afford to rent a place off campus, I did.
Every college and every campus is different, of course.
I went to a private university, and all four years my dorms had communal showers, but they all had separate stalls. I'm a very private person, so I'd share your disdain for public showers. However, my solution was to shower very late at night, close to midnight. Only maybe a half-dozen times in four years did anyone else shower when I did. Plus, and this is gross, but guys don't shower as much as you'd think, so your chances of running into someone else isn't as high as you'd think.
My daughter just started her first year at a state college and she lives in a high rise dorm. They share a bathroom with an adjacent dorm room so there are only 4 girls sharing the shower and there is privacy. The boys living in that dorm have the same arrangement.
Years ago when i attended a state university we had the communal deal. Just like high school after football practice.
Visit colleges that you are interested in and tour the dorms and see what the arrangements are (assuming that you are going to live on campus).
First dorm I lived in was situated in a way that every two rooms shared a bathroom that was in between them. Total privacy since only one person could be in at once.
Second dorm had moderate privacy: it was a public bathroom that had two partitioned showers. The problem with them was that the towel racks weren't exactly near the showers and the shower partitions were WAY too small to take your towels in without them getting drenched. Stupidest design I'd ever seen.
I'm going to college now at a small liberal arts college. Some of our bathrooms are entirely coed; my particular hall has a men's and women's side, each with three separate showers, side by side, but with doors and partitions. Just keep whatever covered you need and you should honestly be fine.
It all depends. Do your research, if it's still ambiguous, send emails to housing. At my university, they offer communals as well as private bathrooms to be shared by a quad, triplet, double, or even single. You could even get a room in an apartment, so you'd share with like three people. I sent a bunch of emails and made a lot of phone calls to people and got housing to room me with a male with our own private bathroom. If you've got the money to spend or a particularly generous school, you can use your gender almost as a crutch in order to get perks. (Hey, not glorifying the idea but it's nice having your own bathroom.)
When I went to college I took one look at dorm living and the price they wanted for it and went and got my own apartment and roommate. I get that some scholarships have room and board included, which of course people wouldn't want to pay if they didn't have to. I didn't have one of those, I only had a tuition-only scholarship and at the time, they wanted $900 - $2400 for dorm living (obviously the price went up based on the type of accommodations but $900 for the 10x8 "jail cell" room with 1 communal bathroom for floor was a tad bit ridiculous to me). I ended up sharing an apartment that I paid $980 for - so really it was only half of that. Granted this was back in the 90's. If you have a job or could afford to come up with rent you might look around for cheaper apartments instead of dorms.
Usually you can go in and look at the dorms before you finalize things with the school. Since it's a year away, try to go to an open house. They do tours of dorms and all that.
"jail cell" room
That's no joke, the guys who designed the dorm I lived in previously had remodeled Attica. It turned out to be good practice for all the people who'd find themselves in jail sometime later in life. "Oh yeah, I know this layout, it's just like my dorm."