For about 6-7 months I've had short hair, at average only a few inches. But about a week ago I was forced to buzz it off after I screwed up trimming it. I normally don't screw up and cut my hair well. But this time was different. It actually had to come all off even though it was already short. But in recent months I've come to terms with my gender identity and decided all along I was gender-queer. I was born biologically a male but on the inside I'm a combination of masculine and famine and sometimes I feel more masculine then feminine and more feminine than masculine. But mostly I feel more feminine when it comes to my androgyny. Recently I've had to deal with my short hair. It's depressing, I feel like an important part of me is missing but I've been blind to this and didn't really care my hair was short until I've discovered I'm gender-queer. But anyway I've been wearing makeup for months, I've recently been wearing more feminine and unisex clothing. But recently after buying a skirt a few days ago that was bondage style (has straps and chains on it) I finally found a top that matches it and I decided to look in the mirror to see how it looked. And I came to the conclusion. I didn't look like I was an androgynous gender-queer, I looked like a guy with a buzz cut wearing makeup in a skirt. After that I cried for an hour, I actually just stopped crying. I just really miss my hair, I want it back so badly, even if it was down to my shoulders i would be happy. I have a wig though but it looks completely fake and it's more of a halloween/cosplay wig, and even when I wear it I can't wash it, I can't dye it, I can't style it and I know that it's fake. I've been really impatient and until I can get my hair to grow back to the length I want it I'm going to feel completely hollow inside. And it doesn't help that my dad is completely opposed to the way I dress and the makeup I wear and the way I act. My mom knows and she's supportive though, but still...
When I was a kid people said I had hair women should be jealous of... so of course my hairline receeded to the top of my head by the time I was 21 and kept going. I shaved it off.
I don't look androgynous, but I am androgyne.
Unlike mine, your hair will grow back. But maybe use this opportunity to try different styles, or at least as a lesson that you are not your hair, and your hair is not your gender identity...
Quote from: foosnark on September 12, 2011, 11:07:05 AM
When I was a kid people said I had hair women should be jealous of... so of course my hairline receeded to the top of my head by the time I was 21 and kept going. I shaved it off.
I don't look androgynous, but I am androgyne.
Unlike mine, your hair will grow back. But maybe use this opportunity to try different styles, or at least as a lesson that you are not your hair, and your hair is not your gender identity...
Yeah I know my hair isn't my gender identity but It's a big part of me and my gender-expression which coincides with my gender-identity.
So your hair's short -shrug- it'll grow.
At first my reaction to this thread was akin to Pica's. Then I realized and remembered that hair is quite important. I used to have very long hair and my spouse likes me with long hair but I can't stand it. I keep my hair short and it's really the only "visibly male" thing about me (though apparently I've been told it only comes off as dykish/butch...eh.) and as such, is really important to me.
So in that...I do understand where you're at regarding hair. If you would like to feel like you're doing something more actively to get your hair to grow you could take a good B vitamin supplement and/or some biotin. Not sure if it will exactually expedite the process...but both are really awesome for hair, skin and nails so the worst that could happen is when it doesgrow back it will be more luxurious. ;)
Luxurious Androgyn
Ativan
At least your hair doesn't look like @ivan's avatar.
There is a silver lining in everything.
OK....Now whats wrong with my hair????? :laugh:
Ativan
Quote from: @ivan on September 12, 2011, 07:37:34 PM
OK....Now whats wrong with my hair????? :laugh:
Yeah!! I used to do something similar to that in high school! ;D
(That's actually true, not sarcasm.)
Quote from: Zoë Natasha on September 12, 2011, 07:42:16 PM
Yeah!! I used to do something similar to that in high school! ;D
I used to be into the whole anime spiky hair thing. I used gel on it once, but usually I could just use water and then spike it up. My hair would get really stiff when it dried, so that it would mostly stay that way.
Quote from: VeryGnawty on September 12, 2011, 07:51:35 PM
I used to be into the whole anime spiky hair thing. I used gel on it once, but usually I could just use water and then spike it up. My hair would get really stiff when it dried, so that it would mostly stay that way.
Mine wasn't anime, more punk. ;)
(https://www.susans.org/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.theforestatnight.com%2Fkidpics%2F1995%2520Fuddruckers.jpg&hash=efc8041cae3e46e83fc872c867fbf7fd9d061344)
I understand what your feeling, it does dent and makes you wonder why your hair is a part of your identity. But I see it more like my eyes: many women have different sizes and shapes and the same with their hair
It's just, if you're physically (still) male it hits you hard because it often makes you so much more pronounced male to others. In my case I am -at 27, since a year- now balding aswell on the top of my head, so I am panicking like hell everyday...will my hair make it before I get HRT (Still atleast 9-12 months away) or will it be too late?
I dont enjoy these times, I'm rolling from worry into worry -.-
Short of having "Bald Chicks Rule" tattooed across your head, how about deliberately going for a OTT wig style for a while? Ultra-Goth/Emo/Punk sort of thing? If anyone asks you can tell the partial truth and that it was shaved due to a medical condition you don't want to talk about (GID).
I have been growing mine out for 18 months now from shaved, and the bald spots are actually starting to fill in a little bit. I still have to wear a side and fringe hairpiece ('bangs' to you Yanks) all the time though.
It will grow back faster than you fear sis.
Karen.
Bald is beautiful! Not that I'm biased or anything...
Point is, you can make it work.
before 'mones I was talked into cutting my hair short, manly cut.
I still regret to this day.
The hair does not make the person, the person makes the hair, and to see something you actually worked on, gone... it's pretty sad.
Some girls just don't really bother with their hair, like, it is just there and sometimes they don't like it and whatever.
For me, it is an important symbol of where I want to be and what I want to be like. I have not listened anybody's helpful advice regarding my hair since then. Not worth it.
Oh, Xxchriscsxx, I am sooo sorry...
Having just gone through something similar with my own hair, I completely understand how devastating this can be. I am bigender, clinically diagnosed to be dysphoric about my maleness to a point indicating MTF SRS. And about my femaleness to a point indicating FTM SRS. Hair, what I grow and what I shave, is amazingly important to my sense of gender and like many things, I have an agreement between my male and female self about the length of my hair. The problem wasn't so much the actual length, but my male self taking it into his own hands to cut my hair more than agreed because of his dysphoria about it looking too feminine- I wrangled over that for THREE DAYS, completely obsessed, taking pictures and trying to convince myself it looked OK. A thirty minute long conversation between my male and female self and an apology from Brotherself for violating what both halfs of me had agreed to and things slowly started to get back to normal. Communication between my male and female self is vital to controlling my GD.
It sounds as if you may have cut your hair too short to use them, but have you given any thought to clip-in hair extensions? I made my own to give me a little more fullness and length on the sides to compensate for my age 50 hairline when I present as a guy. They look fantastic, absolutely cannot tell I am wearing them but Sisterself hates them! It was a fun little project that only took a couple hours. I got everything I needed at Sally's for under $25. You should be able to find a standard hair weft that is close to the color of your natural hair. Here are a couple YouTube links that tell you all about them:
How to Put In Extensions
How to Put In Hair Extensions (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qGlpGlKJNKk#)
How to Make Extensions
How to make Clip in Hair Extensions (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YXbkhsfZnYc#)
Only ever had short hair once and that was an accident. Was living in West Africa and got talked into going to the local senegalese street barber who, bless him, had never ever cut non afro hair. As usual the electricity was out due to 'load shedding' so he fired up his generator plugged in the industrial grade clippers and hit the front like one sees in those army films. OMG! I was totally shocked and horrified and ended up with hair about 3mm long!
Was the hot season at the time and that's about 40 degrees there in the Sahel so it felt good tbh but looked awful. It grew back :)
Sorry to hear you are unhappy with your current situation, but rest assured it will grow back steadily. In the meantime, interesting hats can be awesome, also realistic wigs - though I don't exactly know where to procure said wigs. I would though... now that I think about it.