Im saving up for SRS and currently i have about 4,000 dollars put away for surgery. I currently live with a room mate in a apartment in Tennessee. Today as we were talking about splitting bills for this month she asked me if i would help her pay to get the some small issues in out apartment fixed. I agreed but I told her i could help her next month when i get paid as i am putting some cash aside for my surgery, approximately $100.00 per month from every check i get. She is aware that I am saving money for surgery and she brought up the suggestion that i should pull out a bit of cash for the repairs. I did not respond but told her in a hesitant voice that i would rather not, afterall the repairs can wait since they arent really anything that is an emergency. As i was thinking she said "why are you going to pay so much money to get some hole carved in your body, its not even real.....it just seems gross to have some wound open like that all the time" I felt my heart sink at that moment, i got a bit sweaty as if i was embarrased! i couldnt believe she told me that! a friend that i knew for a few years someone i thought was understanding of my situation :( she then went on to say "im sorry but it seems so silly to pay to get your bits turned inside out, i know you feel bad but you can just be a woman without that surgery. Put your money towards something important" as i began to get teary eyed she said "im sorry" and went to her room. Now her words linger in my mind and they just keep repeating... im my mind it's like she said "why get a hole, your not a real woman anyway and it's not a vagina". Now i have a flood of terrible thoughs in my mind, im not a real woman, i will never have a real vagina no matter how good it looks. I mean a real woman wouldn't need to put some stent in their vagina to keep it open because its real and it belongs there a woman's body isnt gonna try to close it up. I dont have a womb, i cant have periods, i'll never have natural hormones that feminize my body because that's what it's suppost to do! Sure some natural women have these problems but they are women regardless even in their chromosomes. Im sorry for this post but i just had to rant. I was having a pretty good day until this and now im feeling a bit anxious because i cannot cope with all these thoughts in my head :embarrassed:
She wants your money and thats why she said that. Do not listen to her and start searching for another roommate or place ..
Why do people pay thousands of dollars for a boat? It's not like they were born with real hulls.
Why do people waste money on plane tickets? It's not like they'll ever fly with their biological endowments.
Why buy a guitar? It's not like there aren't a million or more free hobbies that provide satisfaction.
So why spend thousands of dollars on the body that matches who you are on the inside and will make you complete? For all the reasons that people buy boats, plane tickets, and guitars: because it'll provide you a lifetime of peace about something for which there's no other path to success. You do it to make you happy. :)
In your shoes I'd give her a piece of my mind. She needs to know that her words hurt you and that this surgery is very important to you, and she had no right to tell you otherwise. It doesn't sound like she was giving any friendly advice, that's for sure. I don't know about you, but if that were me then "I'm sorry" wouldn't enough, because what she said seemed no less than an insult. It was both unexpected and overly harsh.
Sorry, reading that got me pretty steamed at your roommate. *Slow breath* You deserve a hug *hugs*.
It's just as real as all the other ones, not quite as functioning, but just as real. My mom had to have a hysterectomy, her ovaries removed, and Fallopian tubes. Nothing left, just a vagina. Does that make it a hole that is useless open wound? No. According to my mother, her and I are going to be same physically once my surgery is done. The one nice thing your QUOTEONQUOTE"friend" is that she stated you are a woman without it.
I would flatly refuse AND start looking for a new place or roommate to share it with. Sounds like to me that she betrayed your trust. More times than not when someone does this once they will surely do it again. I am sorry but I think you should put some distance between yourself and this roommate. Be Careful!
Randi
Quote from: elsaG on September 13, 2011, 04:49:06 PM
Im saving up for SRS and currently i have about 4,000 dollars put away for surgery. I currently live with a room mate in a apartment in Tennessee. Today as we were talking about splitting bills for this month she asked me if i would help her pay to get the some small issues in out apartment fixed. I agreed but I told her i could help her next month when i get paid as i am putting some cash aside for my surgery, approximately $100.00 per month from every check i get. She is aware that I am saving money for surgery and she brought up the suggestion that i should pull out a bit of cash for the repairs. I did not respond but told her in a hesitant voice that i would rather not, afterall the repairs can wait since they arent really anything that is an emergency. As i was thinking she said "why are you going to pay so much money to get some hole carved in your body, its not even real.....it just seems gross to have some wound open like that all the time" I felt my heart sink at that moment, i got a bit sweaty as if i was embarrased! i couldnt believe she told me that! a friend that i knew for a few years someone i thought was understanding of my situation :( she then went on to say "im sorry but it seems so silly to pay to get your bits turned inside out, i know you feel bad but you can just be a woman without that surgery. Put your money towards something important" as i began to get teary eyed she said "im sorry" and went to her room. Now her words linger in my mind and they just keep repeating... I am my mind it's like she said "why get a hole, your not a real woman anyway and it's not a vagina". Now i have a flood of terrible though in my mind, I am not a real woman, i will never have a real vagina no matter how good it looks. I mean a real woman wouldn't need to put some stent in their vagina to keep it open because its real and it belongs there a woman's body isnt gonna try to close it up. I don't have a womb, i cant have periods, i'll never have natural hormones that feminize my body because that's what it's suppose to do! Sure some natural women have these problems but they are women regardless even in their chromosomes. Im sorry for this post but i just had to rant. I was having a pretty good day until this and now im feeling a bit anxious because i cannot cope with all these thoughts in my head :embarrassed:
I know exactly how you feel I felt the exact same way last night and when I woke this morning, I tend to go thru the exact same type of emotions so I empathize with you. I have to disagree with because she is wrong its not just a hole its a very close to the real thing It does suck that we won't have all of the duct work that genetic females have but you will have a working clitiros both a labia majora and a minora, and you will have a g spot too, the way I see it, this is way better than having no vagina at all. The thing is if your mind and soul is female , it does not matter what your chromosomes say, what haters will tell you because you are a real woman, you don't need to be able to get pregnant its not important because some genetic girls are born with a birth defect that leaves them on able to bare children. while that is certainly true that your body will not be able to produce hormones on their own, their is a big upside to this , you will never have to go thru menopause , for you menopause will be a choice not something that you can't avoid cause you can. Saying that it is not real is complete BS, because it is real cause you will be able to actually touch it, you will be able to orgasm, you will finally not be disgusted when you look at what is between your legs. Just think about being to wear a bikini with out worrying about the parts that should not be there escaping, and being able to just put on your jeans with out having to worry about having to hide the parts you were not meant to have, just think about how much happiness that will bring you.
well what comes with periods are a lot of bloating , cramping , mood swings, and a lot of blood, although it would be nice to be able to menstrat there are some genetic girls who are don't develop properly and can't do it either, plus you would be worrying if the tampon did not do it job correctly and you started to spot, that would be very embarrassing.
when I was feeling like this this morning I got to thinking that there is no point in getting myself down over somethings that I can't achieve cause it would only make me depressed and get in the way of me being happy. Its much easier said then done I know, because once they are unleashed its very difficult to get rid of them but I can't help be feel that the universe has robbed of something I should have had from the being, and it hurts even more that it might be something that I can't go out and fix. I never wanted to be trans, I wanted to just live a normal life a genetic girl and be able to do everything that a perfectly healthy genetic girl could do. I also feel that I would robbed of a happy childhood because I had to fight against my own body growing up. the fact that I actually made it through my teen years is a miracle, considering all of the pain and suffering I had to endure. If all the tears that I have cried through out my entire lifetime so far, they could probably fill a swimming pool, whats even worse is the ones that I was not able express.
I don't think you started sweating because you were embarrassed I believe it was because you were in shock because you never expected this person to say something like this so it caught you off guard.
Just remember that you are not alone in your struggle , we are all here for you , you just need to distance your self from this roommate cause I don't think the situation is gonna get any better for you if you stay there, comments like that can cut like poison knifes there is the intial impact of the knife and then the poison lingers in your body and mind for several days.
Elsa your post made me cry. :'( I know it sucks not to be able to have certain parts and functions that GG have but cheer up cuz like april said having a period and such isn't all that great so we kind of lucked out on that one. I forget where i read this but in Thailand they performed a ovary transplant operation on a transexual woman and it actually worked. The ts girl had her first period but like after a week or two there were complications and the ovaries had to be removed soooo who knows what will be possible in the next 5-10 years! :D