Since I have come full time I have had total acceptance among the women at my University, they have been great to me. But my male classmates are struggling.
I realise there ins't much I, or anyone, can do to actively change this kind of thing. I just want to talk about it.
So, I've been full time for nearly two months, a fairly short while. There has been like a hundred situations that happened since then, and overall, I think things are relatively O.K. The guys aren't being accepting at all, they still call me dude and seen to be avoiding me, but this is offset by how friendly and accepting my female friends are. I have not been victim of verbal abuse at University, though I do feel it is offensive being called a he when it is done on purpose. One thing is when a person makes a mistake, another is someone purposefuly using the wrong pronoun. I have a female friend who does this and I was forced to tell her to either accept me or our friendship would come to a end. We haven't been talking much, so she made her decision.
Usually when I'm faced by this kind of thing I smile and find a way to phrase things as to refer to myself with the correct pronouns. It is my way to be femiine and at the same time pointing people towards their error without being confrontational. Many of the guys seen to just avoid calling me anything at all, just "You" or neutral pronouns, so I suppose it is progress. I believe they feel ashamed to openly regonize me as female, but also feel silly to call me a male. What really matters to me is that I'm passing to my patients, perhaps not 100%omfgIpass but I am :) So once I'm done with University I can just pack my things, say goodbye and go stealth. None of this FT crap will matter once I do.
It is still a bit tough to go to university when we have classes. We are at the 5th year of med school, and we expend most of our time at health care assessing patients and discussing threatments, so we have few classes. Some people I have more contact with, and I see those are getting fairly used with me and are supportive. Those who only see me now and then, give me long stares when I arrive at class. So it has been a bit tough drawing so much attention from so many people, I usually say a white elephant would gather less atention than I do. Since I changed here, I don't quite have any option but be openly TG at university.
There have been teachers who refered to me as a male in front of patients, some people just can't wrap their minds around the concept of gender changing. Usually I say "thank you" in female pronoun (we speak in portuguese, so, Obrigado = male, Obrigada = Female) and leave the patient feeling confused and the doctor looking like he is senile. It is not a good situation I suppose, but if I have a female name written on my overcoat and have a female appearence the medicine teachers should not be refering to me as a he.
I'm sorry these people are being rude, I definitely know how it feels :/, at least it will be over soon and nobody will ever know after
I just said the samething in another post of mine. They look at us and plainly see the clothes that we have on and can't just say she or her out of respect. I am teaching my kids to respect from a diffrent view. If they see anyone wearing surten things respect it. Speak to them as if they are what they wear and not what they look like as far as gender identity goes.
Quote from: Bird on September 14, 2011, 10:35:05 AM
I do feel it is offensive being called a he when it is done on purpose. One thing is when a person makes a mistake, another is someone purposefuly using the wrong pronoun.
Good point. I couldn't call someone making an honest mistake ignorant. Ignorance for me is wilful.