Tell me something nice and good...
The things I want to hear...
The words which can break a chains...
Powerful thoughts to recharge me a bit...
I want to feel better...
Listen to some music that you love, even if you don't want to listen to music.
Always makes me feel a little better.
Raja naja bah-do wah gola wookie nipple pinchie... >:-)
homemade rice crispy treats...
four-score and seven years ago...
you are beautiful and anyone who thinks otherwise best get their minds adjusted
I hope I'm doing this right, and have perhaps given you something to smile and laugh about :)
I hope what whitney said helped it did me. : )
I have been feeling very crappy all day. Open up, what is making you feel like you need people to say nice things. Women are loosing their atraction to me. I'm finding this hard to deal with. What's up with you?
I wish I was dead...
Quote from: Futura on October 01, 2011, 11:06:00 AM
I wish I was dead...
No! Don't say that!
At least say, "I wish I were dead". (subjunctive)
Um, actually, don't say that either.
Depression is when you can't find anything to enjoy (anhedonia).
You have to find something that you like, something that you do well, something personal.
Treat yourself nicely, care about yourself.
You only get one ticket to ride and it's never too late to turn things around.
If you are stuck in a bind, try to get rid or overcome the things that are hemming you in.
Hang in there.
I had a dream in which I opened the door of a reactor and the radiation instantly killed me. No pain, no suffering...
Then I woke up. What a disappointment...
I know this is a temporary downfall, but it drives me mad...
It gets better, it always gets better.
Ive been there myself, but I trudged though it, and I was giggly only four days later.
This doesn't get any better. I am so lonely and unhappy...
Quote from: Futura on October 08, 2011, 10:39:54 AM
This doesn't get any better. I am so lonely and unhappy...
You are right..... I never will get better - unless you truly want it to be. Happiness does not just happen, you do have to go and find it. Where you ask? By doing the things you love or enjoy. I help at a local shelter, active in church (even if it must be in 'guy mode') but you will never feel better about your life if you refuse to get out and live it.
Getting started is the hardest part. Trust me, with what has happened to me over the years (either God decided long ago I must live and die alone, or my grandma really pissed off a gypsy fortuneteller ??? )
I don't have any luck in the real world. Nobody is interested in me no matter where I go. The questions such as "are you male or female?" are making me feel even more estranged and depressed...
It's almost the same situation on the internet...
God please take me now. I can't stand this pain much longer...
Quote from: Futura on October 13, 2011, 09:50:55 AM
I don't have any luck in the real world. Nobody is interested in me no matter where I go. The questions such as "are you male or female?" are making me feel even more estranged and depressed...
It's almost the same situation on the internet...
God please take me now. I can't stand this pain much longer...
You are among friends here, and among people who understand your pain.
I know what it is like to be hurt, to be lonely, to be scared... but the world gets better in time. I am thankful every morning to wake up, because I know it is the beginning of another day closer to my goal. Often I will get up early and watch the sun come up, and dream about how things will be. That always gets me through the day. :)
Hi Futura,
I for one, am very interested in you. That's because you are a fellow traveller. We here are all to some degree, going in the same direction. Towards our determined gender.
Do you want to elaborate on your circumstances that are making you feel this way. I'm interested in knowing. Either post or PM. I'm glad that you're still here. And I'm looking forward to hearing from you, and how you are coping.
Let me just say; because you are here, you are a valued member of our community, you are loved and respected. What do you say? Tell me what's going for you.
Keep in touch and be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa luv
Catherine
P.S. If things become too dark for you before you write back, PLEASE promise me you'll contact this local number (01) 4833-888 or click this link below. I'm oceans away from you, these people are local to you and want to help. I'm still interested though.
http://www.suicide.org/hotlines/international/croatia-suicide-hotlines.html
{{{ Hugs }}}. Catherine
You know how when you sit in a dark room for a long time, and then you go out while the sun is shining and it feels very bright?
It's the same thing with feelings. Right now you're in a very dark place, but at some point you'll go outside in the light, and the light will feel much brighter than it would when you're always in the light.
We need bad feelings to enjoy the good. They give us the ability to put them into perspective.
So it does and WILL get better, you just need to hang in there for that time to arrive, and then something good will happen and you'll be amazed at the beauty of things. :)
Just remember that we are always here to support you, no matter how bad you may be feeling.
Be safe *hugs*
Lynn
Futura
I also understand how you feel.
But what you are feeling is being trapped more than dispair. You need to break out. That's just a bit scary though.
I'm pretty sure many of us have been through these experiences, it makes it easier to understand each other's pain. I felt the same way a few months ago when I was at work and couldn't come out at all. You might just need a change in your life. Yes, the dysphoria is there, yes, it gets us all down now and again, but there's always something that can be done. Or even *not* done. After work ended I went on vacation for 3 weeks and lived with my totally trans-positive brother. I think it would help to just reduce the stressors in your life. If your genderiffic journey is at a standstill, then maybe you can adapt your lifestyle to something that is more easy going. Treat yourself to cake or sweet food or just start going for walks and getting lots of fresh air. Take some time off work or school to sort some things out.
Feel free to share your story with us, we're all here for you. Sometimes being lonely means you just have no one to talk to about what you're feeling.
Quote from: Futura on October 13, 2011, 09:50:55 AM
I don't have any luck in the real world. Nobody is interested in me no matter where I go. The questions such as "are you male or female?" are making me feel even more estranged and depressed...
I give anything to hear someone ask me if I were male or female at lest I would know I was half way there.
Quote from: Futura on October 13, 2011, 09:50:55 AM
I don't have any luck in the real world. Nobody is interested in me no matter where I go. The questions such as "are you male or female?" are making me feel even more estranged and depressed...
It's almost the same situation on the internet...
God please take me now. I can't stand this pain much longer...
You have to understand it does get better.
I too am single and alone just caring for my 88 yr old mother, but i do have people here who care and so do you.
We also have to know if we take our lives our spirit is still here. Imagine being on the other side and still being here but having no body and no way to reach out.
Give yourself time. It does get better.
hugs Danielle
I appreciate the sentiment, but...
I am so tired, demoralised, exhausted, depleted, worn off...
I wish I could have a short-barreled shotgun. I wouldn't doubt it for a second. One press of a trigger and everything is over in a blink without pain and agony...
Maybe I am feeling miserable simply because I stopped smoking last month. That was some hand-made heavy fuel, not ordinary cigarettes. Oddly, I have no wish to smoke, I just feel much more depressed since then...
Are there any HRT-compatible / liver-friendly medications for making me better?
Quote from: Futura on October 14, 2011, 03:56:39 PM
Maybe I am feeling miserable simply because I stopped smoking last month. That was some hand-made heavy fuel, not ordinary cigarettes. Oddly, I have no wish to smoke, I just feel much more depressed since then...
Are there any HRT-compatible / liver-friendly medications for making me better?
HEY CONGRATULATIONS.. YOUR ON YOUR WAY.. WOW I KNOW WHATS ITS LIKE TO QUIT SMOGGS.
hey your gonna get this thing going.. i know it.. wow.. you quit smoking .. wow ;D
I can no longer endure a loneliness.
Well getting out is a cure for loneliness.
I know it can be difficult sometimes.
Get involved with stuff, with life.
http://meetup.com/ (http://meetup.com/) is a good place to find activities in your area.
If you have to, have a T-shirt made up that says, "Yes, damn it, I'm a woman".
QuoteAre there any HRT-compatible / liver-friendly medications for making me better?
If you're curious about medications, find a psychiatrist.
Quote from: Futura on October 02, 2011, 09:35:37 AM
I had a dream in which I opened the door of a reactor and the radiation instantly killed me. No pain, no suffering...
Then I woke up. What a disappointment...
I know this is a temporary downfall, but it drives me mad...
The pain of death is the same no matter how death arrives.
In any case, think: "what? to die without boobies? No self respecting girl would do that. Live for the time when the "girls" would grow!
Courage,
Jen61
You wanted me to tell you something to make you feel better? I'll tell you exactly what I have told myself today to bring myself out of a suicidal depression.
You are nothing short of magnificent. Transsexuals endure more heartache than an entire city's worth of cis-gendered people. We are living evidence that the human spirit is absolutely indestructible. If your pain is caused by the mockery of ignorant fools who know not the bliss they have received for free, remember them as such. It is YOU who should mock them, for they know NOTHING of pain and yet profess to know everything. If your pain is caused by disharmony between your mind and your body, remember that you are steadily on the advance toward resolving that disharmony. It's all a matter of time, and you'll have your freedom in the end. You're on HRT, which means you're closer to your freedom than even I. Cherish that freedom, and pursue it without relenting.
You have come too far, endured too much, to end it all now. Nature stole your birthright from you, your very womanhood. And now that you're so far on the course to finally regain what that wretched thief stole, you're going to let her keep it? Steal your womanhood back, and mock nature with it forever. Make the universe pay for ever crossing you by living a happy life in spite of its best efforts to destroy you. Every day you live will be another day that those who scoff against you have failed, another day that you've proven your station above them. Stand with me, Futura. Let's live in spite of the odds, in spite of our pain, so that we may prove that we more than any other deserve our happiness.
Quote from: Jen61 on October 17, 2011, 11:00:47 PMIn any case, think: "what? to die without boobies?
I have them. Not a big ones, but they are there. It's the similar thing with my hips and back...
Anyway, thanks for a kind words...
Today I feel a little better. These mood swings and loneliness are very tiring...
Futura,
What more can be said?
I want you to print out what Sailor_Saturn has said and plaster it all around your room. Make it your daily mantra. Particularly when you are down.
What Sailor_Saturn has said would inspire life back into the dead.
And Renate has given you a link to help you. Keep in touch and let us know how you are coping. You are loved by all here.
Be safe, well and happy
Lotsa luv
Catherine
I don't know why I came here again, but I want to write something here...
Most of the time I feel like a ->-bleeped-<-...
Play your guitar! Become really good until you feel that it would be a waste to kill yourself because of all the effort you put in to acheive your skill level. Then eventually your life will be improved and you'll be like "what happened?", well you will know what happened but the point is you'll get through your depression period, especially if you're on HRT as something's already improving in the background. That's what I did and it worked.
But it is your wonderful trans spirit that is attractive to us all here ;)
At least these days others think I am female. That gives me some hollow satisfaction, but I am a failure by design anyway...
Oh yes, I fell in love with another transsexual. What a complicated thing. This makes me very happy, it's so great to hear sweet words, to kiss, to hold hands...
But I am so afraid of failure, future, lack of money and everything. I can't afford anything and this depresses me most of all...
Ahh...
Quote from: Futura on December 17, 2011, 01:57:46 PM
At least these days others think I am female. That gives me some hollow satisfaction, but I am a failure by design anyway...
Oh yes, I fell in love with another transsexual. What a complicated thing. This makes me very happy, it's so great to hear sweet words, to kiss, to hold hands...
But I am so afraid of failure, future, lack of money and everything. I can't afford anything and this depresses me most of all...
Ahh...
Damn the pastures are always greener on the other side.. lucky in love unlucky in cards .. trade ya