i really like this girl but i know for a long time after i came out she didnt think of me as male but i think she does now. ive been thinking about adolescence and adolescent relationships. i really think im missing out by vowing to not have sex and not opening myself up to a relationship. especially since im not uninterested in girls. i actually really like this girl i really want to peruse her but she is out of my league and im pretty sure if i got rejected it would destroy me. any opinions on this subject? anyone else feeling the same?
If I was in your shoes and wanted a relationship with her, I would be sure she sees me as a man before perusing. When I was in my teens I felt like I was missing out too. I didn't start having sex and relationships until my late teens. Waiting until I was older did save a lot of high school drama though. You can always make up for lost time later. Look at Hugh Hefner, he didn't loose his virginity until he was 22. You may think she's "out of your league" but that doesn't mean there isn't a possibly that she could find you appealing. I know it's cliche, but be yourself. You have to be confident in yourself. People can pick up if your not and self confidence can go a long way. If you can't be confident then don't bother. You have to be able to love yourself before you expect other people to. At some point in your life you will face rejection, and it wont be the last time. Why should it destroy you? You're not going to be everyone's type and not everyone is going to find you attractive. Rejection is just the reality of the fact. If you don't peruse you wont have her. If you get rejected you wont have her. So why do nothing because you are afraid of getting turned down? The outcome of doing nothing is the same as the one you get with rejection.
*Points up*
I agree with Sharky on everything mentioned.
And I also want to add, I understand that you're afraid to get rejected,
But just think of how you'll feel if you don't at least try and open up to her,
You might find yourself thinking, "I wonder where we would be if I would have taken the chance...'
Whenever I back away from pursuing relationships, I find myself regretting it, and it eats me up.
Whatever you decide to do, good luck!
This maybe wrong advice as I've had two failed marriages and numerous other failed relationships... ;)
However I'd go for it, at the end of the day it's women who decide always anyway so the idea is to be attentive, make her happy, feel beautiful and lovely and above all let her find you a fun and amusing person to be around. Never, ever put pressure on, let her decide whether she wants to be with you or not. Sometimes just a smile and a humorous remark can be enough. My last relationship started over asking if there was another can of coke in the fridge at a funeral and complimenting the girl on her dress, thought little of it at the time but one month later who do I get a call from.... Go for it :)
Just giving my .02
Relation->-bleeped-<-s.
Not worth it, whatsoever.
I think kids (and by kids I mean anyone 18 or under) put too much emphasis on romantic relationships and sex as well. You've only got 18 years to be young and carefree and then you spend the rest of your life being stressed and dealing with all the complex b.s. that relationships have to offer. I'm not saying you shouldn't do anything but don't push things and definitely don't stress about it. Don't be worried about what everyone else is doing either. If you find someone and you hit it off, have fun together, enjoy each other's company, maybe make out, basically just dip your toes in the world of relationships but I wouldn't take things too far until you ready to take on more responsibility. If I had a teenage kid right now that's what I'd tell them and I'd tell them that getting a part time job would be a more responsible thing to do at that stage in life than getting a significant other.